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Sorry for the long wait. I hope this is worth it <3

Epilogue 3: V

Two weeks later

"So let me get this straight," Areum says. "You and that guy we met in the black market are going on... a date?"

"You could say that," I agree.

We're sitting on a high wall overlooking the training field, as the sun casts long shadows across the towers of Bloodcrest. Areum had promised to practice her knife throwing skills, but we seemed to be talking more than fighting. Usually this would have annoyed me, but today is different. Today is the day that I would be meeting Jeongguk again, after two weeks of separation. And I needed all the tips that I could get. I didn't want to scare him off just when he was starting to warm up to me. Just a little.

"Just take it slow," Areum suggests. "He's probably not used to you yet. I asked around Bloodcrest, and it turns out that that guy is pretty infamous around here. The fact that he didn't try and kill you on your first date says something!"

"Oh no, he definitely tried," I assure her. "He had a knife ready and everything. He just couldn't carry it out."

Areum shrugs, as if the information didn't bother her. "In that case, I guess you'll just have to stay alive long enough for him to warm up to you. Just don't die. I don't like it when people die." She chooses this moment to throw her dagger with deadly accuracy, watching as the blade hits the middle of the dummy's forehead. I nod in appreciation. "Nice hit. Though, if you want to make sure the enemy's dead, I recommend the heart or throat."

She wrinkles her nose. "There's too much blood either way." She hops down from the high wall to retrieve the dagger, then climbs back up as agile as a squirrel. I have to admit, she's gotten better at knife throwing every day. Soon, I would be able to teach her more advanced techniques. Things that I doubted even the Bloodcrest centurions knew.

"When are you seeing him again?" She asks, returning the knife to its sheath.

"Tonight. Any other tips?"

She smiles. "Just try not to die. And I want a full report when you get back. Don't leave anything out."

I promise I won't. Seeing my nervous face, Areum laughs. "Relax V. I'm sure that Jeongguk is just as nervous as you are. Just take deep breaths, and give it your best shot. He'll warm up to you in no time!"

I sigh. "I hope so too, Areum."

☆☆☆

It turns out that Jeongguk isn't nervous at all. Or at least, he doesn't seem to be. Once out of Bloodcrest, he leads me confidently through the hills, until we come upon a clearing just north of Bloodcrest's most prominent tower.

"Is this the place?"

Jeongguk nods. "Yes."

The sky is aglow with beautiful dots of light, while the moon is nowhere to be seen. All around us is a sea of green grass and flowers, a lush meadow as far as the eye can see. It's beautiful, I admit, but I'm mystified as to why we came here.

"The stars are beautiful tonight," I remark. "They look much closer than usual."

Jeongguk's mouth quirks. "You know, I never understood why stargazing is romantic. I really don't know any constellations besides the Big Dipper."

"It's romantic because the one who knows about stars teaches the one who doesn't know." I say. "Though, I must admit, I don't know many star formations either."

"Perfect." Jeongguk stretches out on the grass beside me, propping himself up with his elbows. His dark raven hair is ruffled from the wind, and his lips are a cherry red. Not for the first time, I want to take the black mask off his face, so I could see more than just his beautiful eyes and lips. But then I remember how he had reacted when I tried to kiss him at the masquerade. He isn't ready for anything so drastic yet.

"Do you know why I picked this place?" Jeongguk asks, staring up at the starry night sky.

I shake my head. I had half expected him to pick a fighting arena where we would battle to the death. A serene meadow is the last place I would have thought of. Not that this place isn't beautiful, but it didn't fit with my mental image of him.

"Well, one is that there's far less people here than in the masquerade you took me to," Jeongguk says. "Actually, it's only you and me. I can appreciate the secludedness of it." He pauses for a moment, looking up at the stars before saying, "And this was also the place where I had my first duel."

"Duel... you mean swordfighting?" I ask, and Jeongguk nods. "It's the way to choose a leader around here. Winner takes all, that kind of thing."

"What happened to the losers?" I ask, already half-knowing the answer.

Jeongguk's eyes are as hard as diamonds. "They die."

I understand. We shadow spirits are naturally territorial creatures. Even one of our kind trespassing in our property can cause a fight to the death. The black market, which is an ideal place for shadow spirits to live, must have caused many battles before a final ruler was picked. The rest would either flee or get killed.

"And you?" I inquire. "You must have fought many duels if you became leader in the end."

"I've been the only shadow spirit in Bloodcrest for more than a decade," Jeongguk answers. "Before that, I was just one in more than ten. I wasn't the only shadow spirit living in the black market at the time I first came here. You could say that I had to fight my way to the top."

"Which must have been a piece of cake for you," I say. "You have amazing reflexes."

Jeongguk smiles. "Oh no. You wouldn't have recognized me back then. I was... weak. At first, I only fought to wound, not kill. Spending five years in the mind of a person who only thinks of doing good stuff can wear off on you. All my rival shadow spirits were stronger than me, had more experience, and never showed any remorse. Pretty quickly, I learned that if I wanted to survive, I had to start killing. My first duel..." an involuntary shudder passes through Jeongguk's body as he surveys the seemingly harmless meadow. "It was a nightmare. I almost died from the blood loss. I pieced myself together again, but this time I knew the stakes. I may be smaller than everyone else, but I was quick, and I learned fast. The competition didn't last long after that."

I notice how his hand strays almost imperceptibly towards his mask as he speaks. I wonder if the mask had something to do with the first duel. Even though his tone is fairly lighthearted, I can sense the underlying dread and fear he must have felt during that time. For inexplicable reasons, this makes me angry.

"I should have been there," I mutter, stabbing the ground with my hunting knife as if the meadow itself was to blame for Jeongguk's pain. "I could have protected you. Killed that scoundrel who dared to hurt you."

Jeongguk glares at me. "I don't need anyone to protect me. I'm not some sort of damsel in distress, V. I've survived all these years without anyone, and I've turned out perfectly fine." Despite his strong words, I don't miss how his hands tremble slightly, or the flash of long-dormant fear in his eyes. I see cracks start to form in his stony facade as he retells his story. It couldn't have been easy for him living alone in Bloodcrest, no matter how skillful he was. If he was Jungkook, I wouldn't hesitate to wrap him in a tight hug. But with Jeongguk, the best thing to do is to keep my distance. Physical contact would probably only agitate him further.

"But you're right, that spirit from my first duel deserved to die," Jeongguk continues. "Naturally, he was the first person I attacked. The look of terror on his face... skies. I wanted to keep it framed for all of eternity. He was the strongest of the competition, and when I defeated him, most of the other shadow spirits fled. Especially since I took his signature weapon." He pats a silver chain on his waist so thin and delicate that I hadn't noticed it before. It hangs loosely around his waist, fastened on either end by the plain wooden handles. It takes me a moment to realize that it's a garrote. Jeongguk strokes it, a delightfully murderous expression in his eyes. "I don't use it much, but it's definitely a handy tool to have."

"I'm sure." I myself had never used a garrote before, but I know it is dangerous. My signature weapon is a short scimitar or dagger, but I must admit, nothing is hotter than a man holding a threatening weapon in his hand with a murderous gleam in his eye. It occurs to me that Jeongguk is a beautiful force of nature, just like a gale in midwinter. He strikes when he feels like it, and always hits his target. I love how I can never predict his next movements, and how much of a wild spirit he possesses. His rough edges only add to my growing attraction for him.

Jeongguk picks this moment to scowl in my direction. "Stop staring at me like that."

I snap out of my daydream, pretending to be puzzled. "Like what?"

"You're making those sappy love eyes at me again. Stop it."

"I don't think that's possible," I muse. Jeongguk grumbles something, but drops the subject. I can't help but think that secretly, he might be flattered to have some attention from me. He's just too proud to admit it.

"What's your greatest fear?" I ask him, deciding to change the subject. His mouth tightens, and I don't think he's going to answer me, until he lets out a brooding sigh. "Heights."

I laugh, before realizing that Jeongguk is serious. The fact that such a dark, serious person can be afraid of something so mundane amuses me, but one look at his face, and I find that amusement disappearing. His jaw is set tight, and his hands tear a bit at the grass underneath. I can tell he's agitated.

"I'm sorry," I say gently. "I shouldn't have laughed."

Jeongguk shrugs. "Apology accepted. Though really, I don't fear all heights. Jumping around the rooftops of Bloodcrest is easy. But scaling mountains or flying..." He shivers. "Don't ever expect me to do that."

"Noted," I agree, mentally taking flying off the list of activities I wanted to do with him. We sit in comfortable silence for a while, just staring up at the constellations that we couldn't name, until Jeongguk speaks.

"So what about you?" Jeongguk asks, his dark eyes focused on me again with an intensity that I find pleasing. "I've told you about my past. Now it's time for you to tell me yours."

"I thought you didn't want to hear about my tragic past?" I tease. Jeongguk rolls his eyes, but stays silent. I take this as my cue to speak.

"Before settling down here, I had a bit of trouble with the Shadow Valley clan. I'm sorry to say that I set the entire clan on fire and killed more people than my fair share before I learned how to restrain myself. After that," I shrug. "A few rough years here and there. Nothing major happened... until I met you."

"What about your first love?" Jeongguk asks, fully destroying my attempt to try and flatter him. "Weren't you two ever... a thing?" There's an odd sort of pitch in his voice as he speaks the last few words.

I laugh softly as I shake my head. "No. Truthfully, we barely spent two days together before parting. I don't really think that he ever truly loved me. His heart already belonged to someone else at the time. It would have been futile for me to try and get between them, no matter how much I wanted him for myself."

Jeongguk nods, as if he understood, but doesn't make any comment. . We sit again in comfortable silence, while Jeongguk toys with a dagger at his hip. I can't help but notice the blade's exquisite craftsmanship, with its needle sharp point. A type of dagger that some people would kill to get their hands on.

"That's a beautiful dagger," I remark. "Who was it made by?"

"I made it, actually," Jeongguk says, a smile in his tone. I'd hit on one of the things he truly took pride in. "It took months to get the steel exactly right."

"I can imagine." I let my eyes wander across the pristine silver blade and the unassuming but practical grip with indents for holding. "It's a remarkable work of craftsmanship."

Jeongguk smiles, a true smile. "I've never lost a single bout with this weapon." After a pause, he adds, "Actually, I'd never found someone who could best me in combat. Not until you came into the picture." The look he gives me is contemplating, and I decide to take this as a grudging compliment. Jeongguk stares at me for a moment, his eyes in deep thought. A heartbeat later, he gives a stiff nod.

"Fight me."

I stare at him. "What?"

"Fight me," he repeats. "And then we'll see who's better. I challenge you: three bouts. Winner takes all. Agreed?"

My stomach starts to do some somersaults. "Jeongguk, I can't―"

"Why?" His eyes blaze a challenge. "We're both fighters. What's wrong with a few practice fights?"

"You don't know what you're asking for," I argue. "If you're smart, you won't do this."

"This has nothing to do with smartness. The challenge I propose is fair. Whoever draws first blood wins." Without waiting for an answer, Jeongguk draws his dagger, and launches himself at me. I duck his attack, still hesitant to draw my blade. I use my sheathed scim to block his blade, driving him backwards. Despite the fact that he comes at me full force, I'm reluctant to counter. My bloodlust still isn't under full control, and I'm afraid that I'll hurt him without meaning to. I didn't have any problem with cutting down my enemies, but that didn't include Jeongguk. Never Jeongguk.

"Damn it V!" Jeongguk snarls, as I take a half hearted stab at him. "Fight. I can take it."

He shouldn't have said that.

Suddenly, all my senses are loose, like someone had finally pressed the "on" button. I can sense that he's putting too much weight on his right leg, and by the way he's tense, I know he's about to lunge. I sidestep him, bringing the hilt of my dagger down hard on his back. He groans in pain, and I tackle him to the ground, pinning his arms over his head. There's a flash of fear in his eyes, as he too realizes that this is no play fight. I'm really fighting for blood. His blood. He kicks out with his feet, desperately trying to get me off him. I growl threateningly at him, before whipping a dagger out of my pocket and digging it into the earth just inches from his left ear. Jeongguk stops struggling, staring at me with wide eyes as his gaze focuses on my knife that rests snugly against his throat. We're both panting, our lips only centimeters apart. As I lose myself in his obsidian black eyes, I'm only aware of the fact that Jeongguk smells like a combination of wood smoke and pine needles. Strange, considering that he lives in the black market, but definitely pleasing. My knife digs in a bit deeper on reflex, drawing a thin red line across his throat. Jeongguk lets out a small hiss, trying to shy away from the sharp blade. With a flourish, I ease the knife from his throat and return it to its sheath. This has gone far enough. I don't let him go though. Not yet.

"Had enough?" I whisper into his ear, feeling a shudder run through his body. How good it feels, to finally have some control over him. To feel him shake because of my voice.

"In your dreams." In a sudden burst of movement, Jeongguk's garotte comes whipping out of nowhere. He must have unfastened it from his waist when I wasn't looking. The thin, delicate looking silver chain wraps around my left arm with surprising strength, and Jeongguk tugs it hard, knocking me off balance. Suddenly, I'm flipped on my back, and Jeongguk hovers over me, a triumphant expression on his face.

"Ha!" He leans down so that our noses almost touch. His eyes dance under the mask. "What are you going to do now?"

One thing which I've mastered through centuries of experience, is not to get distracted. Especially during a fight. But this time, I can't help it. Jeongguk's black eyes, the same color as mine and yet so different, bore into me with a vivid flash of emotion. I've never seen him look this happy, this alive. My bloodlust is gone, replaced by something akin to affection. Jeongguk's expression turns confused as he realizes that I'm not fighting back. His grip eases a bit on the garotte as he studies my face. This is my chance to strike. Tackle him while he's off guard, and show him who is really better at combat. But I find that I cannot do it. Jeongguk's lean but supple body is made for fighting, and I find myself admiring every inch of it. Getting distracted. I raise my hand, conscious of Jeongguk's stare as I bring it up to his face. I tuck a loose tendril of raven hair behind his ear, letting my hand linger a second longer on his cheek than necessary. Jeongguk's breath catches, but he doesn't whip out his knife to rid me of my fingers, which I take as a good sign. From my vantage point, his lips look impossibly soft, while his eyes glitter as hard as steel. I would have gladly sacrificed everything to kiss those lips. He must have seen something change in my eyes, because even though he has the upper hand, his body is suddenly pliant and submissive above me, lacking the tension that it held earlier. No, not submissive. Relaxed. His eyes ask me a question that I'm not sure if he himself is conscious of asking. Will you do it?

And that's enough for me to cup his cheek with my hand, and prop myself up to kiss him. It's a soft kiss, and my lips barely touch his cheek before I pull away. But nevertheless, it is everything I imagined it to be. Even better, in fact. Jeongguk lets out a small gasp, and he gazes at me in absolute surprise as the gears in his mind shudder to a halt. We stare at each other for a moment, our eyes locking. After two minutes of complete silence, I start to get a little worried.

"Jeongguk?"

"Yes?" He sounds a bit breathless.

"Do you think that you could ease up on the garotte? I think it's cutting the circulation off in my wrist."

"What―oh. Oh yes." He hastily scrambles backwards, his hand clutching the thin silver chain of the garotte so hard that I'm afraid he's going to lose his fingers. I don't miss the way he touches the exact spot on his cheek where my lips had been just a few seconds ago. He has a wonderfully confused look in his eyes as he glances at me, then glances away in quick succession. He scoots farther away from me as I get up into a sitting position, every muscle in his body tense.

"Jeongguk," I say again, amused. "You don't have to be so far away you know. I don't bite."

He nods stiffly. His hands fumble in the air as if he really doesn't know what to do with them, before they drop into his lap. I'm flattered that a simple kiss on the cheek can make him this flustered. It's quite cute.

"Come here, Jeongguk." I don't hold out my arms, but my voice is commanding enough. Jeongguk bites his lip hard, and I can see him mentally weighing his options. He slowly starts to stand up, each move calculated and poised to run. His hesitant movements remind me of a small kitten that has to be coaxed outside its den. If a kitten had an assortment of dangerous weapons and wore a mask. But finally, finally, Jeongguk is back at my side again, even if he looks a little uncomfortable. I pat the spot next to me, silently imploring him to sit down. Amazingly, he complies.

There's really something almost magical about being so close to Jeongguk, especially when he's in his shy mode. The smallest touch makes him start, his face confused and nothing like his confident and surly facade that he usually had. I don't think I've ever been more gentle with anybody else than how I treat Jeongguk now. His whole body feels like fragile glass, and I can tell the initial surprise of the kiss hasn't weared off yet. My hands, the same ones that were made for holding longswords and scimitars, now hold Jeongguk with just the lightest of touches. I hold his hand limply, letting him get used to the skin to skin contact. Little by little, he begins to respond to my small touches, whether that be a shake of his head or a small sigh. And though tentative, his hands slowly entwine with mine. Or more accurately, I curl my fingers around his, while Jeongguk graciously does not try to sever my hand. I smile at him, wondering if another kiss would be overkill. Based on how he reacted on the first one, I grudgingly decide against it.

I slowly, tentatively put my arm around his shoulders, making my hold loose enough so that Jeongguk could shrug it off if he wanted. His body tenses, and Jeongguk's eyes spark with emotion as he glances at me. But he makes no move to back away. The whole galaxy is reflected back in his eyes, and I don't remember ever seeing anything so beautiful. I'm seized with a sudden impulse to kiss him again, but I rein it in. He needs more time before he's ready. I remember Areum's advice to take it slow. Nothing has ever seemed more agonizing.

"Was that your first kiss?" I ask, though from the way he's acting, I'm sure that the answer is obvious.

"Well... yes. I'm not really big on all the social interaction, if you've noticed." Jeongguk lets out a nervous laugh, one that's an octave higher than usual. "I've never been kissed by anyone before you."

This information is not surprising, but still sends a warm spark throughout my body. I was his first kiss. No one else can claim that. It wasn't on the lips, true, but I could wait. "I'm glad."

Comfortable silence ensues, in which Jeongguk almost imperceptibly angles his body so that my arm is more securely around his shoulders. I don't know whether he did it on purpose, but it feels nice to be able to encompass his body so thoroughly.

"Your first love," Jeongguk speaks up unexpectedly. "Am I like him?"

I glance at him, surprised at the sudden question, but his face is impassive as his mask. In the end, I settle for the truth. "Lookswise, yes. By nature? You two couldn't be more different. Jungkook was... sweet. Easy to love. Everyone adored him. And you are..."

"Surly?" Jeongguk suggests. "Unlovable?" He says the words with humor, but there's a sad edge to them that makes my heart twinge.

"A challenge." I finish. Jeongguk turns to look at me. "You don't give your love easily. That means that I have to work harder if I want it."

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. "And do you want it?"

I give him a smile as an answer. "We'll see."

He groans, covering his face with his hands. I can't help but notice how adorable he looks when he does that, even with an extremely sharp knife tucked in his belt. If he didn't have the mask on, I'm sure that I would be able to see him blushing. The thought makes me smile. Jeongguk tucks his knees into his chest, and suddenly, he looks very small. I start to wonder if being this close to him is a good idea. For a person who had spent the last decade in almost complete isolation from other shadow spirits, this must be all new for him. Maybe a bit too new.

"We can stop if you want to," I say, loosening my hold a bit. "I know you might not be ready yet―"

"No, it's fine," Jeongguk quickly says. "You don't have to stop."

There's a small tremor in his voice that makes me say, "Don't worry. I won't do anything."

"I know you won't. This is just all so..." He struggles to find the right words.

"New?" I suggest. Jeongguk nods assent. "Yes. New."

"The good kind of new or the bad kind of new?" I want to know.

Jeongguk shrugs, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "We'll see."

A laugh escapes my lips as I hold him just a little bit closer. Taking things in small steps seems to be the best option. He leans into me ever so slightly, his eyes still trained on the glittering stars above. I love looking at him, while he looks up at the night sky with its millions of little spots of light. He stares at them in such wonder and awe that I'm afraid if given a chance, he would fly up to join them. If only he wasn't so afraid of heights. He rubs his eyes with his hand, a gesture so natural, that it transforms him from a vicious warrior to a young wide-eyed apprentice.

"Are you tired?" I tease, seeing him open his eyes wide in indignation.

"No, I―" Whatever Jeongguk was planning on saying is cut off by a yawn. I try to stifle another laugh, while Jeongguk looks down, fiddling with his hands.

"You can sleep here if you like," I suggest. "The air is warm enough. Besides, I'm sure that your flat in the black market isn't as comfortable as here."

"No," Jeongguk agrees, much to my surprise. "Definitely not as comfortable."

"I know what you're thinking," I say solemnly. "It's because of me, isn't it? I can make everything more comfortable with just my presence."

Jeongguk smiles thinly. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I was talking about the grass underneath me and the light from the stars." Then, as an afterthought, "You're a close second though."

Nice going, V, I scold myself. You just lost Jeongguk's affection to a patch of grass. I glower at the daisy growing next to me, as if it was the sole reason for my problems. But my irritation is replaced with a certain warmth as Jeongguk moves closer so that his hair is tickling my chin. It occurs to me that the emotion that spreads through me—delicate, and unable to be named at first, because so unfamiliar—is peace. Having always had a wanderer's heart, it feels strange to be able to sit with someone that is not my enemy and feel happy about it. Jeongguk's head leans on my shoulder, and in less than two minutes, he's asleep. I let my hand run through his soft raven locks of hair, feeling him twitch a little in sleep. I feel almost humbled when I realize how much he's trusting me. He knows my past. He knows how many people I've killed. And yet here he is, utterly defenseless, sleeping right next to me in the moonlit meadow. If I wanted, I could reach out and break his neck in one swipe without a word of protest. But of course I don't. Instead, I lie down next to him, careful to keep my arm loose against his body. I have to suppress a laugh when I see a sharp switchblade ready in his hand. Not so defenseless after all.

With the moonlight bright overhead, the grass softly swaying beneath me, and Jeongguk lying next to me, I can't imagine anything more perfect than this. It has been a long time since I felt this peaceful, this at ease with my surroundings. I glance at Jeongguk's masked face. He doesn't look nearly as fierce when he sleeps, and I find myself wondering what he looked like beneath the black fabric. My hand strays towards his mask, but I end up caressing his hair instead. His raven locks are soft beneath my hand. A sigh escapes Jeongguk's lips as he snuggles closer to lay his head on my chest. I look down at him, surprised. It had only been a few short weeks since we had first met each other, and one had already been spent resisting the urge to kill each other. How had we progressed from that to this in such a short period of time? Jeongguk's switchblade is still out, but he holds it with a looser hand, as if sensing that I wouldn't try to hurt him.

At least not tonight.