ⅩⅩ: Taehyung

Everything hurts.

My skin, my bones, my wings, even the roots of my hair. My body doesn't feel like my own anymore. I want to scream. All I can manage is a groan.

Where am I? What happened to me?

Flashes of it come back. The specters. The fire. The fall. Then the darkness penetrating my mind. The monster taking over. I still remember how it laughed as it took control, and how it felt like I was suffocating. It killed every last specter here, that I know for certain. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or rage. I was just as weak as before. I couldn't stop it.

I drag my eyes open, wincing at the light that suddenly enters my vision. The sky above is still dark, though I can see the last stars blinking away in a cloud of navy blue. Dawn is only a rumor in the horizon, its rosy tendrils reaching out almost tentatively, as if afraid to wash away the darkness that took place last night. I don't blame it.

Grimacing, I heave myself up on my elbows, gritting my teeth against the sharp stabbing pain that spreads through my body. I have to get up. I have to go back. I don't know what kinds of havoc the monster caused, but its left me tired, and sore to the bone. The wound on my arm burns beneath my shirt, and I know that it needs medical attention as soon as possible. But to get to Jin, I first have to go back to the door. And that's no easy task when I can barely sit up.

Finally, I decide to prop myself on my knees, then work my way up. As soon as my arms leave the ground, my vision swoops, and I almost fall back down. The ground lurches beneath my feet, and I clutch at my head as a ferocious headache takes over.

Once the headache starts to recede, I force myself to take in my surroundings. Almost all the buildings around me are on fire, their roofs burned down and walls barely standing. There are no humans in sight, but I doubt that that's because everyone was out of town during the attack. Any sign of vegetation has been wiped away, replaced instead by ash and the blackened trunks of trees. I shudder to think what would have happened if the monster was left loose in central London.

You're lucky I saved you in time, A voice echoes in my head, and I'm too tired to even cuss. You're lucky that I took control and killed every single shadow demon in London. Without me, you would have died.

You set all the houses on fire. You destroyed this part of London. I say, hands clenching. Why would I thank you when you took the lives of so many innocent people?

All necessary sacrifices, the voice answers casually. They needed to die to be part of something even greater. Don't misunderstand me, Taehyung. I'm not all evil. I don't kill for no reason. I simply don't need much of a reason.

You sick bastard, I growl. The only response I get is dark laughter. Nevertheless, the voice continues. I have a gift for you. A parting gift, if you may. Until the next time we meet.

I don't want your gift. And I certainly don't want to hear from you ever again. I mutter, and the voice scoffs. Oh please. How do you expect to get back to Hyde Park in your state? You need some extra strength in your wings. And I'll give it to you whether you want it or not.

All of a sudden, I feel a newfound power coursing through my veins, chasing away the last remnants of the headache. My wings feel lighter than before, and when I give them an experimental flap, they lift me off the ground with minimal strain. It felt like someone had tapped into some unknown power reserve of mine and emptied it to give me strength. If this wasn't a present from the monster, I would have been delighted.

I sensed that the devil inside of me was dormant again, but it had left a sour taste in my mouth. There was no knowing when he might appear again.

☆☆☆

Progress is much slower than usual, since I have to stop constantly to rest. It's midday by the time I see Hyde Park in the distance. I don't even try to conceal myself as I fly down towards the park, scaring all the mortals who were admiring the flowers. I'm just too tired to care, and the sun's bright light isn't helping. Even if vampires don't turn to stone the minute we're in the sunlight, it weakens us considerably. I twist the door handle, wanting to be in the dark interior of Armad Castle again.

As soon as I enter the door, I feel better, as this place is dark and most importantly, vampire territory. I spot a passed out Yoongi on the kitchen table, his head in his hands. Jimin is next to him, sleeping on his shoulder. But when he hears the door close, his eyes shoot open.

"Oh Taehyung! Thank the hell you survived!" Jimin shouts, hopping down from his chair to hug me. Yoongi wakes up from the noise, looking around blearily before his silver eyes settle on me. They widen in shock. "You're actually here," he marvels. "You survived."

"I did," I agree, not wanting to go into detail. Yoongi smiles, but his eyes hold a question for me that I don't want to see. I shake my head ever so slightly, and he nods, getting the message. Not here. Not now.

"Jungkook will be so happy," Jimin continues, evidently oblivious to the exchange between his soulmate and I. "He was so worried, you know. He stayed awake the whole night waiting for you."

I feel an unfamiliar warmth spread through my chest at his words, along with a pang of sadness. I didn't deserve someone that pure. Especially when I was going to be his ultimate demise, based on my dream.

"Jimin, do you know where Jungkook is right now?" Jimin nods. "He's in the healing center with Jin. In fact, I should probably call Jin anyway. You look like you're about to pass out on your feet." The cut on my arm burns beneath the fabric, reminding me that it's there.

"The healing center?" My gaze sharpens. "Is he hurt?"

"No you idiot." Jimin says. "At least, not that I know of. Probably just exhaustion. I'll tell him you're here. He'll be glad to see you."

Jimin gives me one last pat on the arm, then exits the room, leaving me and Yoongi alone. I glance at him, only to find him already looking at me, absently twirling a glass cup on the table.

"So," Yoongi draws the word out. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I sigh. "I sometimes wish you didn't know me so well." Yoongi shrugs. "Reading you is one of my many talents, I guess." My mouth twists into a mirthless smile.

"It took control again." I whisper, and Yoongi stops rotating his cup. We stare at each other, both understanding the graveness of the situation. "I couldn't stop it, hyung. It came so suddenly."

"Does Jungkook know about it?"

I hesitate. "He knows of it. I haven't told him the whole story yet."

"Tell him." Yoongi says, and I look up. "He's your soulmate after all. There shouldn't be any secrets between you two."

"Hyung..." I stare at his silver eyes. "You know I can't. He would hate me."

"That's what you think." Yoongi says, fingering the glass of the cup. An uneasy silence descends between us. Finally Yoongi speaks.

"Are you scared of it?" The question is so unexpected that I almost laugh. But I don't answer. I don't have to. He already knows the answer.

"Taehyung!" A cry comes from the hallway, and I turn just in time to see Jungkook running towards me. His eyes are red, and his clothes are rumpled, as if he had slept in them. I hold out my arms and he sinks into them, tears flowing down his cheeks. For just a second, I feel a twinge of gratefulness to my monster half. If it hadn't taken control at the last second, I would have surely been dead. Then I remember the hundreds of people who suffered at the hands of it, and my gratefulness disappears.

"I―I thought you were dead," he cries out, burying his face into my chest. "You were gone for the whole night!" He suddenly seems so small and innocent, and I bring my wings up to circle him.

"I know. And I'm sorry." I say, hugging him tighter. My wound throbs beneath my shirt, but I ignore it. "They were harder to defeat tonight."

"Don't ever do that again!" He says, and I'm struck by the raw emotion in his voice. "Don't leave me like that. You could have died!" His gentle hands reach out to cup my cheeks, and I see him eyeing all the small cuts and marks on my face. "Look at what they did to you."

"They're just scratches," I assure him. "Jin will treat them easily."

Jungkook frowns. "But still..."

I laugh, and he pouts. "Don't laugh! You have no idea how worried I was."

"Oh Jungkook," I take in his wrinkled tunic and puffy eyes. "I can imagine." He looks up at me with his large brown doe eyes, and I coo.

Leaning down, I swiftly capture his lips in a kiss, not being able to resist it anymore. I smile when he lets out a small squeak of surprise. My hand instinctively goes to his hair, feeling the smoothness of it between my fingers. Jungkook closes his eyes and leans into me, further deepening the kiss. His left hand accidentally grazes my wound, and I wince. Jungkook quickly breaks the kiss when he sees my face.

"What's wrong?" He asks. "Are you hurt?"

"Well, I―"

"Show me." It's more of a command than a request. There's no use hiding it from him anymore. I roll up my right tunic sleeve to reveal the wound.

He gasps when he sees the festering cut, now black at the edges. It's worse than before, and the skin around the gash is red and fevered. The red blood, barely visible through my black tunic, is now on full display. It's getting an infection.

"Why didn't you show me this earlier? We have to find Jin!" Jungkook cries.

"I'm right here," Jin's voice sounds behind us, and I turn around. Jin takes one look at the cut, and his eyes widen. "Taehyung, how did you get that injury?"

"Specters. One of them cut me―" Jungkook covers his mouth, and Jin's face is grim. "Taehyung, come with me now. We need to get that treated as fast as possible." When Jungkook makes a move to follow, Jin gently eases him back.

"You shouldn't come, Jungkook. There's going to be some unpleasant smells and views. And Taehyung needs to rest right after."

Jungkook starts to say something, but I kiss him on the lips to silence his words. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. Jin knows his remedies." He still looks concerned, but finally reluctantly nods. "Then I'll wait for you outside." I smile. "Thank you."

Jin leads me quickly into the healing center, and prepares a basin by the sink. "Take off your shirt, Taehyung. And do you see that cotton pad over there? Get one of them, and start cleaning around the edges of the wound. Don't go too harshly, or the skin will break."

Once I take off my tunic and finish with the cotton pads, Jin beckons me forward. I extend my arm out for him, and he tilts the basin full of cold water.

"It's going to scar," Jin murmurs, and I grit my teeth as he pours water on my arm. "That's fine."

"No, it isn't fine," Jin says angrily, as he takes a select poultice down from the shelf. "Honestly Taehyung! You really could have died. The shadows in that wound were close to reaching your main bloodstream. If that had happened, your whole arm would wither and become useless. Just as it is, you're so overcome with exhaustion that it will be a miracle if you're ready to fight in only two days. "

"I have to be," I reply, as I watch him lather the foul-smelling medicine on the wound. "I don't have any other choice."

He frowns, but gets up to take a long piece of bandage from his work shelf. As he comes back, I can feel his gaze rest on my back. At the marks there. He's seen them many times, but there's always a sense of shock that comes attached to marks like that. He knows how I got them. He knows how remorseless Bloodcrest can be. Shaking his head, he walks back to me, tearing his eyes away from the deep marks on my back. This was no doubt one of the reasons he didn't want Jungkook to come with us. 

Jin sighs as he binds up my arm. "Just don't take any stupid and unnecessary risks then. The wound itself should heal in exactly two days if you keep the bandage on and make sure that you dress the wound every night." He hands me a small vial of liquid, then points to a bed in the corner. "Now, you are going to lie down in that bed and sleep. I don't care what other commitments you have. Your body needs rest, and I'm not allowing you any visitors for the rest of the afternoon." Taking a clean white shirt from the rack of clothes, he throws it at me. I catch it, putting my arms through the sleeves.

"Not even Jungkook?"

"Especially not him. I don't trust you to keep calm if he visits, and the whole point of you lying down is so that you can be calm. Not sit in a bed mooning over your soulmate."

"You and Namjoon do that!"

"Namjoon and I are an exception!"

I groan, but do as Jin says. Once I finish buttoning the tunic, I lie down, and Jin hands me a glass full of blood. "It'll help you regain your strength. Plus, I put some tasteless sedatives in it, so you should be able to sleep pretty deeply."

I sip the blood, feeling it send energy to my body. "Jin?" He hums in response. "Do you think I'm evil?"

He looks up from sorting vials, his eyes kind. "Why so suddenly? Of course not. You don't kill people without reason. Your soul is fair and good. I don't think you're evil at all."

"Oh." It's obvious that his response doesn't convince me, because Jin walks over to my bedside.

"Taehyung, if you could just be who you are here" ― he places his palm over my heart― "instead of who the monster makes you, then you will be a great soulmate. Can you try that for me? For Jungkook?"

I smile at him. "I'll always try to. For both you and Jungkook." The nightmare battlefield flashes in my head, but I store that memory away. I knew I still had time before the monster took over fully. Maybe this was my time to rebel against the destiny fate had set for me.

I had made a mistake before. I couldn't make the same mistake again. Not with Jungkook. Not with the one person that I was willing to give my whole existence to.

I wouldn't.