This chapter is dedicated to Safireforever who just joined our ranks this week with great comments and votes - thanks for supporting this story and also "Living With The Choices We Make"

Standing My Ground  

 For the next three months, I work my ass off. I practice at the gym three times a week and my dad drags me out of bed to go jogging with him every morning at 5am sharp. Every night after dinner, we disappear in the basement for some weight training in the newly equipped exercise room. I am starting to feel really good about myself, proud how my efforts shape my body with newly developed muscles and the way my reflexes' speed is increasing. My mom is supportive too by cooking balanced meals and pumping me full of proteins and carbohydrates.

In school I stay low, avoiding the bullies any chance I get and paying up when I need to. I am not ready to face them and bide my time. I am planning to fight them with everything I got when I finally stand up for myself. My dad asks me a couple of times how things are progressing but I am able to evade most of his questions with some vague statements. To my surprise, he is not pressuring me which spurs me on even more since I finally don't feel like a total failure.

It is early January and I just returned to school after Christmas. It is unseasonably cold with temperatures in the thirties and I am cuddled in a warm winter jacket with ear muffs covering the sides of my head. The air is crisp and the chilling wind nips at the tip of my nose, my hands buried deep inside my coat pockets. I hurry across the lawn to get inside into the warmth.

There is a snicker behind me. "You look like a total doofus, Parks. Did your mommy make you wear these hideous things over your ears?"

Ricky is a few feet behind me and my anger rises in a heartbeat. My mother and I had a bad fight in the morning about her sense of fashion and I pleaded with her to just let me go without the earmuffs but for once, she put her foot down, claiming I would catch a cold otherwise. When I got out of my father's car and battled against the freezing wind, I was actually glad I listened to her but Ricky's mocking words make me regret my decision to not just rip the fluffy accessories  off my head and stuff them into my bag.

Yet, I am determined not to let him get away with it this time, especially since he is alone for a change and can't send his minions after me.

"Sorry," I mutter. "I have to protect my brain cells from the cold – not that you would understand since you don't have any left."

That wipes the smug smile right off his face. "What did you say?" he hisses.

I chuckle wickedly. "Thanks for just proving my point. You are so dumb that you can't even comprehend the simplest form of the English language."

He blinks at me, seemingly in shock that I dared to mouth off to him.

"I will make you eat your words, Parks."

He lunges forward but I'm prepared, avoiding his blow with a quick jump to the side. My fists raise up automatically, Tony's instructions taking over in my mind. I start dancing around him, my hands in position to protect and strike. I control my breathing to calm my sudden fear and fight the nausea turning my stomach into knots. The thought of imminent pain almost makes me chicken out but I convince myself that this is it – this is what I have been training for all these months.

Surprise and apprehension flare in Ricky's eyes – he is not used to his prey standing their ground. He only picks on boys who are smaller and weaker. His hesitation causes me to gain momentum, I want to see him bleed.

He throws a punch which I easily block and strike him with everything I got. My fist connects with the center of his nose and I relish when blood splatters on his face and drips from his chin onto the ground. He wipes it away with his sleeve, utmost confusion written all over him. My next blow is directed at his stomach and finds it mark without opposition. He bends forward, his mouth curled in a painful grimace.

The fair thing would be to give him a breather and find his footing but the last months of torment flash in front of my eyes, fuelling the fury inside me. I start to pound on him, feeling stronger and liberated with every punch, my bottled-up anger unleashing itself. It is not only the helplessness I felt when he was bullying me that motivates me but all the years I suffered under my father's regime. I hit Ricky as hard as I could, over and over again without giving him even the slightest break.

A few times, he fights back and gets a punch through but I don't even notice. I am in a rage, delivering vengeance, finally taking control over my pathetic live. I am Brent Parks and no one would ever make fun of me or bully me again. Ricky is at my mercy and it feels great. The adrenaline is pumping through me and when I see his pain, the trill of having the power over someone who wronged me fogs my mind like a drug. An invisible force is driving me forward - I want to hurt him to make him pay for what he put me through.

I ignore his cries and pleading - Ricky deserved every bit of his punishment. At some point, more and more students surround us, taking either mine or Ricky's side but no one interferes. I would later learn that most of them were afraid I would turn on them and I became the school hero for standing up to the head bully.

When Ricky is on the ground, I continue kicking him until Mr. Cartwright finally breaks up the fight.

"Brent, calm down. What's wrong with you?"

His words tear me from my trance. The group around me has fallen quiet and Ricky is on the ground, whimpering. He is curled up into a ball, his face buried in the crocks of his elbows. His shoulders shake under his sobs and dark stains all over his jacket. My eyes travel down my body and there is blood on my clothes and knuckles. My wrists ache like hell and my fists are sore but otherwise, I am OK.

Mr. Cartwright squats next to Ricky and carefully exams him. To my delight, his whole face is covered in blood and when he answers a question, I notice a missing front tooth. Suits him right – I'm sure he will never hassle me again. I showed him that Brent Parks has turned into a man.

Mr. Cartwright orders one of the bystanders to fetch the school nurse before he turns to me. "Brent, report to Principal Hauser's office now."

My bubble bursts - for the first time, I realize it would be me who would be in trouble. It is so unfair, considering Ricky is the bully and I only defended myself. He should be the one summoned to the principal's office.

Without giving Ricky the benefit on another glance, I walk into the building. They will probably call my dad and I just hope that he will have my back.

                                                                xxxx

I am required to wait outside the office and self-doubt begins to nag at me. What if I went too far? What if Ricky was really hurt? All of a sudden, I fear my father's reaction. Being called to the principal's office is a first and he will not be pleased to be interrupted at work to pick up his delinquent son. He will probably be furious and beat the crap out of me.

It doesn't take long for my mom and dad to arrive. Before my father goes in, he squats down to my eyelevel.

"I will take care of this, Brent. You did the right thing. I'm proud of you."

I am stunned by his words, yet, they manage to suck the guilt right out of me. I have never gained my father's approval before and his recognition means the world to me. My spirits lift and the feeling of being on top of the world returns. I stood up for myself for the first time in my life and the prospects that no one would ever think of me as a coward again filled me with utmost satisfaction.

A few minutes later, the door to the office opens and my father waves me inside. He is stone faced.

Principal Hauser is an impressive woman with a wallowing red mane and piercing green eyes that have always given me the chills. She is about the same age as my mother. My dad has never liked her - he calls her a "dumb fat freckle face" and I secretly agree with him. She is at least twice the size of my mom and has an awful lot of blotches all over her skin though I always thought of her as sappy.

There is a pressing silence when I take a seat in front of her desk. My mom seems distressed but my dad's eyes are deadly as he settles in the chair next to me.

"I am very surprised to find you in my office, Brent," Principal Hauser starts. "I always thought of you as a good and well behaved student and I am stunned that you were involved in a fight, one that has caused quite a lot of injury to another student I may add. Can you tell me what happened?"

Her words intimidate me a little. "Ricky made fun of me and then he hit me," I say softly. "Next thing I know, we were fighting."

She makes a couple of notes on a piece of paper in front of her. "Did Ricky throw the first punch, Brent?"

He lunged at me first even if he missed. "Yes, ma'am, he did."

"And why did you continue to beat him when he was on the ground? Why did you not walk away?"

I shrug. "I honestly don't know. It just happened."

My father jumps in. "Tell her what he did to you, Brent. Tell her how much he bullied you over these past months."

I nod in agreement. "He beat me up before and shoved my head down the toilet. He always took my lunch money too and called me all kinds of mean names in front of everyone."

Principal Hauser wrinkles her nose in disgust. "It seems like there is more to this than just today's fight. The school will launch an official investigation into your allegations. However, I am very disappointed in you Brent. We do not condone violence of any kind to solve our problems. If you felt bullied by Ricky, you should have told your teacher or Mr. Cartwright."

I stay quiet, wondering if I should possibly have taken another route until my father intervenes.

"Like I told you before, Ms. Hauser, my son was not raised to be a coward or tattletale. It is the responsibility of the school to provide a nurturing and safe environment and in this case, you failed Brent. He was attacked and had the right to defend himself. There is no way I will agree to any type of punishment. Brent is the victim here."

Principal Hauser regards him with calm eyes. "I suppose in this case, we have to agree to disagree. Brent put Ricky in the hospital. The boy is severely injured with a broken nose, several broken ribs and a concussion and this goes far beyond mere self-defence. I'm afraid until the end of the investigation, Brent will be suspended and if we can't find evidence that he has been bullied, he might even be expelled."

My father raises his voice. "This is preposterous. I will not agree to this and we will file a complaint with the school board, hell, I might even sue the school. You cannot just suspend my son. He did nothing wrong and I will not stand idly by and see him punished."

Principal Hauser clicks her tongue. "Do what you have to do, Mr. Parks, but I would appreciate if you could refrain from yelling at me in my office. I will make arrangements for one of Brent's classmates to bring him his homework assignments during his suspension. I'm sorry that it has come to this but I'm not willing to just ignore school rules. Now if you would excuse me, I have work to do."

My father jumps up, his face contorted in rage. "This is not the end of this," he warns in a chilling tone. "You will be lucky if you still have a job tomorrow." He turns to the door. "Come on, guys, let's go home."

My mother is on her feet in an instant, mumbling an apology to Principal Hauser under her breath. I follow my parents, my eyes glued to the floor. I never wanted any of this to happen and wish I could turn back time. The thought of being expelled and no longer being an honor student scares the shit out of me.

                                                        xxxx

My sullen mood doesn't last long. After we get home, my father announces that we will go out for dinner to celebrate my achievements. He tells me again how proud he is and I toddle to my room, walking on cloud nine. I feel empowered despite my suspension.

Just before we leave, my father sticks his head in the door. I am playing Tetris on my Gameboy and have just made it to level fifty two – a new record. It seems like everything I touch today turns to gold.

My dad has the widest grin on his face. "Your suspension has been lifted."

My mouth falls open, my heart skipping a beat in astonishment. "What happened?"

"Well," he gloats. "I pulled a few strings and a friend of mine convinced your principal that she made a really big mistake. I just got off the phone with her and she apologized for being such a hardheaded cow. I swear, if she was my woman, I would have knocked some sense into her years ago."

I bite my lip. "How about the investigation? I could still be expelled."

His smile gets wider. "The investigation is already concluded and Ms. Hauser assured me that you are in the clear – it was all Ricky's fault and he will be the one getting expelled. Apparently, he bullied half the school and many of the other parents finally complained."

In that moment, my father becomes my hero. The last few doubts I harbored evaporate in thin air and I agree with him wholeheartedly – walking away is for sissies. I will never allow anyone to disrespect me ever again - I am a Parks and we 'men' stand up for ourselves and show the world that we are the one in charge.

OK guys - this was the first time Brent felt empowered by violence and it made him feel good about himself. This was an important lesson on his path to turning into an abuser. There were no negative consequences for him after the beating, to the contrary, he received praise and recognition which taught him that violence was not only acceptable by also desirable. 

Let me know what you think about all this. Can you see the monster emerging? Please comment - tell me what you liked about this chapter and what could be improved. Your feedback (good and bad) is important for me.

In the next chapter, we will jump ahead again by three years and meet teen Brent for the first time. I hope you are still holding on for the ride and enjoy taking this journey with me - if so, don't forget to vote with the star button in the corner. Thanks for reading.