I followed Jaden to her loft above the tavern. The bedroom was crowded for two, with a single twin bed and a low vaulted ceiling that gave it a snug, homey atmosphere. My brother had offered me his quarters again—the barracks were off the table, apparently—but Jaden suggested I bunk with her. It would be safest, she'd said, and would allow for plenty of girl talk.

I didn't know what that was, but I was kind of scared to find out.

I made myself at home on the plush window seat, reclining against the excessive amount of pillows Jaden had lent me, and it was probably the most comfortable thing I'd sat on in days. 

I observed my new fingerless gloves, watching the visions sputter out as my palms grew accustomed to the fresh material and absorbed all the memories available to them. None of the shops were open by the time the meeting ended in Holly, so Tom had left a few men behind to search door to door for willing vendors. A few hours later, they'd arrived back at camp, and I'd never been so happy to see a pair of leather garments. Out of glee, I'd kissed the soldiers on the cheeks and praised their shopping skills. 

I was so used to wearing the gloves that I'd struggled to function differently without them. I couldn't simply grab hold of things or rest my hands on my chair. I couldn't simply...anything. Will almost died because of my folly.

I hoped the Rhean prince was doing okay. It was his first night in the barracks unsupervised, and I wasn't there to knock any teeth out. I told Fudge and Mason to keep an eye on him in my absence—Beckett's warning was still fresh in my mind.

"I'm sure the boy will be fine," Jaden chuckled.

I gaped at the telepathic.

"Oh, come on, it's written all over your face." She pulled her covers aside and stole a conspiratorial glance at me over her shoulder. "What's really going on between you and Sterling?"

"What's going on between you and Rover?" I countered.

She smiled, allowing the topic to die, and I almost patted myself on the back for avoiding that catastrophe of a conversation.

When we'd both settled into bed, I turned on my side, tucking my arm beneath one of my many pillows. "Jaden...how'd you end up here?"

She looked up while gathering her thoughts, as though her memories were stored on the ceiling. "I grew up in Holly, and my dad owned a popular pub in the Interior.  A beautiful, lively place downtown." She knit her brow. "After he died, my younger sister and I inherited the business, but..."

"But a woman can't run a bar in Ells," I guessed. "Not alone."

My teachers would have labeled it an improper occupation for a young lady, and it was far from a motherly trade. How would Jaden raise children in a place like that? What kind of example would she set for her sister? 

Working alone was frowned upon in and of itself, but an owner of a pub? Licensed to sell liquor? Capable of doing well in life—so well, in fact, that she'd have no need for a man's income? 

Yeah, right. 

"Exactly. I still gave it my best shot, though," she admitted, shooting me a mischievous, sidelong glance. "Thankfully, the locals didn't mind me taking over the pub. My mother had died giving birth to my sister, so I'd spent a lot of time there as a young girl. Doing schoolwork, mopping floors, babysitting. That kind of thing." She smiled at the fond memories beyond her eyelids. "Our customers watched me grow up, and they knew I loved the pub as much as my father. So, to my relief, they kept quiet after his passing and continued to patronize the bar like nothing had changed."

I blinked at her, mesmerized by her story. I never would have guessed that she'd lost both of her parents so young. She conducted herself like a woman unsinged by tragedy and unruffled by the patriarchy.

"Things were going great. Business was great. But word got out that I was actually the owner of the establishment, and the High Court swept in and took the pub away from me." Frustration laced her words. "As compensation, they gave me a large sum of money to attend school and make a living doing something noble. Something they deemed more fitting for a woman."

"So you built your own tavern outside the city," I finished, laughing.

She beamed wickedly. "Rover had earned his place as first lieutenant by then. It took one introduction to your brother before I was stationed here. Now I run the pub, the cafeteria, and the store out back."

It was brilliant. I'd had no idea Jaden's courage extended beyond crushing bar fights and putting misogynistic soldiers in their place. She was a renegade.

"So...why here?" I asked. "Why not take that subsidy and build somewhere else? Somewhere your business could actually grow?"

She hummed, like she wasn't so sure herself. But I watched her twirl her silky black hair over her fingers, and I rolled my eyes.

"Rover."

Her lips rose into a coy little smile. "Well...in part, yes. He's been my best friend since we were kids. Our home lives were never great, but we'd found family in each other. And when he went off to war..."

I felt a twinge in my ribcage. "I get it."

All too well.

"After he'd received word of my father's funeral, Rover came home from the Rim to see me, only to find out I'd lost the pub too. I was a mess, and Rove...he was ready to fight the bastards tooth and nail for the place. He even told me he would elope with me. Said I could use his salary and his name to build my own bar—that way the Court would never know. But I'd seen the man he'd become, and I knew he loved his place in the world, his friends. Tom. He loved being a hero. Always has." Her brown eyes wilted. "I wanted him to run away with me and live a child's fantasy, but I couldn't let him leave. He'd come too far. So I packed my things, and I ran away with him."

I lay back against the pillows, sympathizing with Beckett's frustration. Rover had offered to elope because he loved her, and Jaden loved him too much to let him do it.

Were they really blind to that fact?  Or did they just ignore it?

"But Rover...he was just part of it," Jaden admitted. "I wanted out of the Interior, beyond reach of the Court's fingertips. I think...I think deep down I wanted a challenge. And I got one, thanks to Tom."

My gaze traveled over her profile and perfect button nose. Apparently, my brother had broken the rules before I'd ever stepped foot on this camp. He'd been championing an equal world long before I had, and I loved him for that.

"You like it here," I gathered. "Even though you're surrounded by a bunch of idiots."

She snorted. "I do like it. But I didn't always. When I first arrived, all but a few treated me like glass. Fragile, pristine. New recruits always balked at me like they'd never seen a woman holding a beer before."

It wasn't hard to picture Chinger and the other Belgate boys stumbling upon the female bartender for the first time and struggling to digest her vocation. Mason was still trying to rectify his perception of women, even after I'd saved his life. Because...despite growing up in a world where women expertly managed a household and its inhabitants, the prospect of us running a business or adopting a man's duty befuddled them. 

For what was a woman severed from childrearing, housekeeping, and staples of femininity? 

What was her purpose?

"It was disheartening to learn how high I'd have to climb. But as the years come and go, I can see it in their eyes—that subtle change in how they perceive me. Perceive us." She crossed her hands over her stomach, lacing her fingers together. "I may not take up a sword, but I'm fighting a war of my own, Alex. And someday soon, I'll have my army."

I stared up at the ceiling, the wooden planks just low enough that I could run my fingers across them and imagine them splintering at my touch.

We were both castaways in a sea of order and discipline. Kicking and kicking to stay afloat. Boldly, and perhaps a bit foolishly, we'd chosen a new path of life—an impenetrable terrain rich with weeds and barbed wire.

But if we kept pushing forward—the two of us, together—maybe someday we could leave a trail.