➳ THERE was so much white around me. I am all alone, and if I speak, my voice will probably echo out. Then, suddenly... I wasn't so alone. The white was now being painted over with a whole new scenery. What the hell?

There's fire... and, then, there's Alexandria. It's on fire. Roofs are caving in and walls are breaking down. And, the only place I can think of where I am is on the night when Negan and the Saviors tried to destroy Alexandria. This is back to the night when Carl died.

Where was he?

"Tess?"

I spun around, nearly breaking my neck and ankles to do so, and found Carl standing there. His hair was long, but there wasn't an eyepatch wrapped over his eye, and his focus was right on me. I hadn't ever seen him without the wrap around his face. His eyes were so blue. He was wearing the same clothes the night when he tried to save us.

"Carl...?"

Was I hallucinating? Was this even real? What was even going on right now? Maybe I have come back in time to save him, or perhaps, nothing after this night ever even happened. I can still save him. I can do it.

"What are you doing?" I found myself yelling to him. "Get the hell out of here, Carl!"

He shook his head, noticing how he gulped down a large knot. "I have to finish this, Tess... Before it's too late."

"No!" I jumped forward, coming very close to him. "You have to go! I will keep you safe, Carl!"

He nodded and quickly came back with, "I know, Tess. I know."

"What? Carl, I—"

He walked right up to me, and then, I felt something on my left hand and snapped my head down. Carl was holding my hand and keeping me calm, his blue eyes looking up into my own dark eyes. They were full of so much life.

"It's okay, Tess," he whispered to me, and suddenly, our surroundings started to change again. It went from fire to snow in a heartbeat. I wasn't sweating anymore. I was freezing now. I kept looking around while Carl held onto me. "Everyone is okay now. Can't you see that? We're at peace now, and nothing that happened to us is your fault."

"What? Where—?"

"Tess," a new — and very familiar — voice called out to me. I looked off into the distance, behind Carl, and saw Glenn standing there. He wasn't hurt or appeared to be sad, either. He was wearing the same blue shirt from the night when Negan murdered him right in front of everyone. "You don't have to be sad anymore. Okay? Don't you see why you're still alive and we aren't? It's because you have to live and make sure that nobody ever forgets about all of us here."

I started to take off towards Glenn, leaving Carl behind, but as I was running, he began to appear further and further away in the distance from me. So, I decided to just stop — from being so exhausted — and took a breather for a moment.

"This isn't Glenn," I whispered out, at first, remembering what I said to Negan right after what he did to Glenn. I lifted my head up and looked straight at Glenn, closer than he was before, with clenched teeth. "You're not dead!"

I was exhausted from running and crying. All these years... I couldn't die as the hero or live long enough to become the villain. It all has to mean something... eventually.

"You," I exclaimed, spinning around to point directly at Glenn. To my surprise, he was still there. "I could've stopped you from dying! It's all my fault! If I hadn't been moved, he could've killed me instead, and you would still be here with Maggie and your baby!"

Glenn stepped up and argued, "It had to be done, Tess! I'm still here and watching over all of you!"

"Maggie left, Glenn," I barked back, tears in my eyes after holding back for so long. "She just picked up and left one day with Hershel! She said that she would never leave me, but she did!"

He shook his head and sighed. "You can't blame her for that, for wanting something new and different," he claimed, but I could beg the difference. "Can you blame her for wanting to leave the one place that will always remind her of me and what could've been?"

I laughed. I did. "You gotta be kidding me. You judge me for wanting to leave and escape, but you don't blame Maggie? That's gold."

"She isn't dead, and she didn't give up," he bit back, almost like he had venom in his tone. "You're just giving up, though. How is that fair to your girls?"

I wanted to curse back at him, but I couldn't do it. This was Glenn, after all. He was always there for me, as I tried to always be there for him in return.

"I want..." I started to spin my head around. Something didn't add up. If I was seeing everyone who was dead, then... Huh. "Wait... Where's Rick?"

I gulped and tried to find Carl again. Then, he was there and titled his head to the side. "He isn't dead." What? "He's just... lost."

Again, my surroundings started to spin around me, and the snow became heavier, almost like it was going to suffocate me underneath it. Then, it all came crashing down as I fell down to the ground. Quickly, I tried to get back up, but did I even want to?

Nevertheless, I found some strength within myself to get back up, and as I was trying to, I looked up and saw someone new standing before me. Teary-eyed, my bottom lip started to whimper, and I feared that I would fall down again.

"... Paul?"

He smiled, totally harmless, and waved. "Hello, sister."

I didn't care if I would be dragged back or whatever else because I started sprinting towards him. Then, just like that, he caught me in his arms and held me with his warm and welcoming embrace. I finally got to touch someone, and it was him. It was truly him.

"Paul, my gosh," I breathed out on his shoulder, squeezing him to death. "You're here. You're really here. I'm home."

He shook his head on my shoulder before separating us, but kept me at arms length, though. "No, Tess, you're not dead," he reassured, his eyes matching mine. "Not yet, at least. You have to go back."

"Paul, no—!"

"Yes, Tess," he countered, very blunt with his response back. "You know exactly what has to be done. You have to go back and be with your girls again. As much as Mollie acts like she is independent, she isn't, though. She's just a child underneath that hardened shell of hers. And, Tara Rose... She is an actual child, and she can't survive without her mother. Just go back, Tess. It isn't too late."

"It is," I snapped back, gripping his elbows and leaning into him. "Don't you get it? I can finally be free with all of you. It's time."

He shook his head, and before he could speak, a new voice popped in from afar, "No, it isn't, Tess."

I nearly broke my neck yet again to look around until my eyes landed on her... My Tara. I started to blink when the tears came to my eyes from the fresh wounds of just losing her. "T-Tara?"

She walked right up to me and calmly said, "I'm at peace, and you should be, too, knowing that. We all are. You gotta move on with your life, Tess. This isn't the end for you."

"But," I stammered out, glancing up from her boots up at her, "what if it is, though? What if this is my chance to finally get away from it all? The pain? T, it's been so... hard without you all there."

She shook her head and whispered back, "You can't live your life like this anymore, T. We'll blow more shit up, but... Not right now. It's time for me to rest, Tess, but you have to go back. We'll be waiting for you. All of us, right here."

I pressed my eyes shut, and the tears fell down my cheeks, but I felt someone come up behind me and press their hand down on my right arm. "It isn't over, Tess. Go back."

Suddenly, something snapped inside of me when I spun around and out of their grasps, pointing my index finger all around. "It's all your faults of why I am so messed up! You all left me when I needed you the most! I didn't even get to say goodbye!"

Tara tilted her head to the side and calmly replied, "Then, say goodbye now. It's not too late."

I gulped and stepped back while they all stared me down. I didn't know what to say now, apparently.

"Tess..."

"What?!" I snapped at them, frustrated. "I... I don't wanna say goodbye, okay?"

Tara tilted her head and questioned, "Why not? You have the chance now to."

I blinked my eyes, and when I did, the tears spread down my cheeks. "Because... If I say goodbye now, then..." I paused, trying my best to keep it together. "There won't be any reason to come back."

"Tess, I..." Tara leaned forward and tried to grab my hand, but I jerked away before she could. "There's no reason to come back now. Say your goodbyes now, and then, you will be able to go back. You will be happier when you say goodbye."

I finally spun my whole body around and decided not to face them anymore, especially Tara. Then, all at once, I spun right back around and dove right into her arms. I squeezed her neck while her arms embraced me back, while tears fell down my cheeks and straight down on her right shoulder.

I remembered back to the moment when we hugged before our final departure, and the kiss... It was something I had never experienced before. It was mind-blowing.

So, I quickly peeled off of her and placed my hands on her cheeks, smashing my lips to her. For that split moment, it was just us, and everything was so perfect. It was all so blissful and poetic.

Then, just like that... We were done, and everything was back to normal — for the time being. Paul pointed behind me, and I saw something new, being a door. An actual door.

"It's time to decide, Tess," he said, taking a step towards me. "You can either stay here with us or... Go back." However, before I could even think about it, he held up his left index finger. "However, Tess, if you choose to stay here with us... Then, you need to know what you'll be missing out on when you do stay. You'll be missing out on your children growing up and... Tess, because of your death, it causes more pain than you could ever imagine."

"How?"

"If you stay here, then your girls will become traumatized and develop the same kind of depression as you — but worse," Paul claimed, facing me with his beautiful eyes. "Don't let them down, Tess. Stay with them. Please."

I turned back to the door, and images played through my head, of Mollie and Tory growing up without me. Still beautiful, but sad and seemed tortured. I love them girls so much, and I just... I don't want to leave them just yet. Paul and I grew up without our parents, and it nearly ruined us. I don't want the same for Tory, who didn't even know her real dad.

It's time for me to go...

I turned back to all the family that was no longer there on Earth and took a very heavy breath. They all stared me down, waiting for my final decision.

I batted my eyelashes of tears and announced, "I'm going back."

They all smiled and seemed genuinely happy with my decision. A bunch of them nodded, but Tara reached out and grabbed my hand, squeezing it.

"You made the right decision," she claimed, grinning from ear to ear. "You can do this, Tess. We all believe in you."

I felt actual guilt for something other than their deaths. It was for my girls and leaving them behind.

So, with all of that said, I embraced Tara once more before moving on to everyone else. It felt so good to hug them all over again; but, things changed when I came back to Paul — the brother I thought that I would never be able to live without. Here he was.

He brought me into an embrace and squeezed, whispering in my hair, "I love you... so much, Tess."

"I love you more, Paul," I cried out, squeezing him back. We unattached from one another when I smiled back. "Keep in touch, eh?"

He laughed and so did everyone else. Then, just like that, I headed towards the door. I waved to everyone and placed my hand on the knob, ready to squeeze and walk through. However, there was still one last thing to do.

"Goodbye, everyone."

They all waved back at me and, then, after taking one final look, I dimmed my eyes and squeezed the knob. In slow motion, I walked through the door and straight into darkness. I didn't see anything...

Until I opened my eyes and finally took a breath.