Chapter Four (Skylar’s Point of View)

I’m excused from the rest of the day’s activities because of what happened several hours ago. I didn’t even show up at lunch, and now I’m going to skip dinner, but it’s my choice. Missing two meals won’t kill me if a week without food never has.

My stomach growls loudly, just as my bedroom door opens, startling me.

“Okay, you’re either going to come willingly, or I’m going to have to drag you with me.”

“You sound just like Saphira,” I say to Murai, who makes a face and shivers as if she can shake Saphira’s words out of herself. I giggle, but her face remains serious.

“No, but seriously, you’re coming with me,” she insists. “Aspen’s been asking about you, and I want to prove to him that you’re fine. I heard about what happened.”

“Bring him here,” I say, shrugging. I’m not that used to being cared about anymore, especially not by a practical stranger.

“You know he’s not allowed in our room, Skylar,” Murai says. “Besides, you need to eat something. I would bring you something if I could, but–”

“I know, I know, we’re not allowed to do that, either. Fine, I’ll go.”

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I put one dinner roll on my plate and, satisfied with that, turn to leave the line. But then Murai takes the plate out of my hands and begins to pile other things onto it. A pear, curly fries, some fish, and lastly, a vanilla cupcake topped with pink icing and sprinkles. The thought of eating all that right now is threatening to make me sick. The thick fishy smell that rises from the plate doesn’t help.

“I can take that now,” I tell Murai, reaching for my plate. She doesn’t give it back to me as she leads me to the very place I was trying to avoid – the table at which Aspen is seated. It’s not like I haven’t forgiven him, but I still don’t feel ready to talk to him yet.

Everyone at the table stops eating when I approach them. Murai sets my plate down across from Aspen, but I guess that’s better than sitting next to him like I would have had to do otherwise. I hate these small, square tables.

Allison looks at me briefly, but doesn’t say anything. It appears she’s not quite sure what to say, and nor am I.

“Skylar,” Aspen says, “I’m sorry about earlier… Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” I say, maybe a little too firmly. I don’t like being questioned, even when the person asking the questions has the right intent. It makes me feel cornered, and reminds me of times I’d rather not remember.

Just then, I see Saphira coming our way with a few Tamers on either side of and behind her. No one else at our table sees them, as I’m the only one facing that direction. It comes as a surprise to Allison, Murai and Aspen when she speaks behind them.

“Hey guys.” She gives us a smile I can easily see through. “May I speak with Miss 175 alone? We won’t leave the room.” Without waiting for a response, she says, “Thanks,” then pats my back. “Come on, dear.” Knowing I don’t have a choice, I get up and walk with her over to a corner of the dining hall. The Tamers encircling us with their long weapons make me a little anxious. I peek between two and see Aspen getting up, looking as if he’s coming this way. It makes me feel a little better, but I don’t really understand why.

“Yes?” I say, trying to hide my true feelings from Saphira. Again, the way she looks into my eyes makes it seem as if she sees my soul in them.

“So, 175, I heard about your resistance during the sign-ins yesterday,” she says in a voice that’s just above a whisper. “I don’t know who you think you’re fooling, but let me make this very clear for you: you’re not fooling me. I know you don’t have a mental impairment. You just have a recalcitrant spirit that needs to be broken, and I swear to you, in one way or another it will be. We will deal with it before it gets out of hand and you end up threatening Khendryah. We’re only doing you a favor.”

Saphira nods as she thanks me for my time, as if I had a choice. When she turns around, she comes face to face with Aspen, who looks down at her without a trace of fear, even with the six Tamers that surround us. She says something to him so quietly that I can’t hear, and I notice his jaw muscles tighten. Saphira looks down at something, and I follow her gaze to find that Aspen’s hands have been clenched into fists. I see clearly that it wasn’t meant as a threat, but Saphira must not.

I’m able to hear her this time as she says, “Don’t threaten me, 174, because you will never win. I was just telling your girlfriend: to threaten your country’s leaders is to threaten Khendryah. To threaten Khendryah is to commit suicide. Go ahead and see what happens, if you’re so inclined.” For a moment, she just stares at him as if to challenge him. Then she walks away, the heels of her high, black shoes clicking on the tile as she does so. Dark thoughts fill my mind.

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There’s a knock on my bedroom door. I press a button on my watch and the time lights up, telling me it is 3:41 A.M. I’m still not used to this device.

Though she’s never up at this hour, I expect Murai to enter when I say, “You can come in!” But no, it’s Allison. Tears stain her cheeks, and her eyes are red, as well as puffy.

“Skylar?” she whispers, walking in and slowly closing the door behind her. “Can I… uh, sleep in here?”

“Sure, as long as you don’t mind the rats. What’s wrong?”

“I had a nightmare,” she replies, sitting on the bed. “It felt so real.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” she answers, lying down and then pulling the covers up to her neck. “Well, my sisters… I was forced to watch as they… the wolves… I couldn’t… But later, you and I were in this room that was already very small… The walls were literally closing in on us. You found a way out, but I was left behind. I had to be, or else we both would have died. Aspen was able to save you, but he wasn’t able to see me, for some reason.”

“I would never leave you behind, Allison,” I say truthfully. “Never.”

“You can’t promise something like that,” she says quietly. “People sometimes leave their family, even when you least expect it, so you can’t promise to not leave someone you hardly know.”

As I think about her words for a moment, silence enters the room. She must know the pain of being left. I honestly don’t know what to answer, because as much as I hate to admit it, her words are true.