In the kitchen, I began to assemble my gourmet lunch of peanut butter and jelly, mac and cheese, and fresh strawberries. Jessa loved strawberries and could eat a quart by herself in one sitting. I could hear her still playing with Papa upstairs. Every now and then, she would scream out in laughter and I laughed at their very intense Barbie conversations.

I had just finished draining the noodles when I heard a knock on the front door. I wiped my hands on my shirt, smearing some of the jelly I had gotten on my finger across the front. It would wash out eventually.

I went to the door and pulled it open, preparing to brush off whatever salesman was standing on the other side. I almost collapsed on the floor when I opened the door and saw him standing with his hands in his pockets on the other side.

"Ezra?" I gasped in shock.

Standing at my front door was the oversized man dressed in jeans and a dark blue button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair was hanging in his eyes and he moved to push it back off his face just like he used to years ago when we were together. His icy blue eyes looked up and down my body in the familiar way he used to before everything changed. It made my body ignite knowing his eyes were on me again, but that was quickly replaced with fear.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed quietly, moving outside the door and shutting it softly behind me so that Jessa and my dad couldn't hear us.

"Riley, we are going to talk." He commanded.

Ezra stuck his hands back in his pockets. His shoulders remained tense, but slightly guarded and unsure. This was not the Ezra I was used to. This Ezra gave me distance and did not close the space between us. This Ezra did not force himself against me to make me beg for him.  He was different.

"I don't want to talk to you." I crossed my arms across my chest more to hide myself away than anything else. It had just entered my mind that I hadn't put on my bra yet today and I was very self-conscious about my post-baby body. I was a mess and the complete opposite of the man standing in front of me. Ezra was so polished and put together. He belonged on the cover of a magazine. I was out here barefoot and in sweats stained by Jessa's lunch, looking like I should be posing for a mugshot. 

"I don't really care what you want, Riley." Ezra leaned down to get even with my eyes. His hands were still in his pockets. "You owe me answers."

"Ezra, I don't owe you anything. You have no business being here."

He raised his eyebrow. "Are you seriously going to try to tell me that little girl is Aiden's and not mine?"

My eyes opened wide and I bit my tongue. I had to hold myself back from running inside the house and locking the door. I was thankful Jessa wasn't near the door when he knocked. She had a bad habit of trying to answer the door. There would be no hiding her from him then.

"She is Aiden's." I tried to sound confident, but it sounded more like I was trying to convince myself.

His eyes locked in on my lips and I saw the flash of fire cross his for a moment before it vanished. He shook it away and stared into my eyes once again. "I know you're lying to me. You look away from me every time you lie. You always have."

"I'm not lying. You need to leave." I cursed at myself when I realized I just looked away from him again.

"Do you think trying to put on a dirty little show for me last night is going to convince me? You should have told me you were pregnant. How could you keep this from me?" His voice started to raise with his anger intensifying. I flinched away from him instinctively. Our history had taught me to be on my guard with him.

"Ezra, we are not going to talk about my daughter anymore. This conversation is over." I tapped my foot on the ground, holding my stance hard.

"She's my daughter too!" He growled back. "You didn't even give me a chance. Your stubborn ass decided this all by yourself. You were wrong, Riley. This is all wrong." He pulled his hands out of his pockets and was waving them around, trying to prove his point.

"I'm not kidding. Leave now." I told him as I backed away towards the door.

"Let me see her, Riley." He begged, the anger subsided and left. Hurt was the only emotion left on his face. He covered his face with his hands to hide from me.

"I can't and you know why." I whispered and tears began to overflow from my eyes.

Having a dad was something I always wanted for Jessa and I couldn't deny I always wished it would have worked out with Ezra for her. I dreamt about it every day since I walked away from him. But wishes and dreams were something I couldn't afford when it came to my daughter's safety.  No one was going to ever hurt my little girl—not even the man who made her.

"Riley, I have been clean since that day in the hospital. I have been going to therapy and have been working on my anger issues. I'm not the same person I was back then. Please give me a chance to know her."

"Momma?" A little voice on the other side of the door called out to me. "Momma, you play hide and seek?"

Ezra closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek, hearing the sweet sound on the other side of the door.

"I'll be right in, sweet pea." I called back through the door. I looked at him and lowered my tone. "I can't do this now, not with her here. I have a shift tonight at the old bar. You remember the place. I know you do. You can come by around close so we can talk about this."

"I'll be there." He agreed without hesitation.

What the hell was I doing? I could never seem to keep my head around this man.

"MOMMA!" The little voice screamed again.

"She's persistent." Ezra shot me a warm smile, filled with adoration of the little girl I never gave him a chance to meet.

"Just like her damn dad." I mentally volleyed back.

I nodded my head and turned to go inside. He stood on the porch with his hands back in his pockets. I opened the door just wide enough to slip inside, but the little one on the other side had ideas of her own and scooted out past me.

"Jessa!" I shrieked and she ran right out in front of Ezra.

Jessa's bright blue eyes lit up at him. She used her hand to push her hair back off her forehead in the same way he always did. She pulled on his shirt with her little hands and he knelt down to get on her level.

My heart stopped and I almost jumped out of my skin to put myself between them.

What do I do?

This was bad. Really bad.

"Hi." Jessa chirped and put her hand on his. I reminded myself that she really needed to learn stranger danger.

My heels dug into the ground, planting themselves firmly to get a solid launching point if he tried anything.  Ezra may have been twice my size, but size meant nothing when it came to protecting Jessa.

"Well, hello." Ezra cooed back to her in the sweetest deep tone that melted me in ways it shouldn't.  Those two words had me all gushy and weak in the knees. 

Ezra eyes lightened in a way I had never seen them do before while he spoke to the little doll holding his hand. Jessa's eyes mirrored his exactly. It was like she knew who he was. I had never even let her see a picture of him. That wasn't even a possibility. There was no denying they had a connection.

"I'm Jessa." She introduced herself proudly, pointing to chubby belly.

"Jessa. Wow, that's a very pretty name." Ezra smiled and held her hand a little tighter. He raised his other hand and flipped a lock of her long curly dark hair between his fingers. My insides were tight from the intimate gesture. I was not sure how this would go, but I never expected this. I wasn't ready for her to know him.

Why did I let this happen? Why was I still standing here like there was nothing wrong with this?

"Jess, baby. Say goodbye. It's time for lunch." I grabbed her other hand to take her back inside. She wouldn't budge when I tried to pull her back. Just like her Momma, she felt the pull to stay near him.

"Momma, can we play?" Jessa asked with excitement as she looked at her new friend.

"Not today, baby. Ezra can play with you another day." I said. I wasn't sure if I really meant it or not.

"Ezwa," She giggled. "Ezwa, Ezwa, Ezwa."

He looked up at me and smiled at her repeating his name over and over again. I was doomed. Once Jess got a hold of something, she never stopped repeating it. This was a disaster.  I had spent the last three years trying to purge him from my life and now I was going to be reminded every three seconds that he was back. 

"Sorry," I apologized. "She gets stuck in a loop sometimes."

He chuckled and smiled at her. The hardness he carried earlier slipped away as she repeated his name over and over again. He stood up to look me in the eye. "I'll see you tonight then."

"Yeah. Tonight." I whispered.

I grabbed Jessa and swung her up on my hip. Her little hand opened and closed after him. I turned around and walked into the house before placing her down.

"Let's go take lunch up to Papa." I looked down at her and smiled.

She danced across the living room for the next hour, singing a chorus of "Ezwa, Ezwa, Ezwa." At some point, it turned into Baby Shark and then "Ezwa" shark. I would have to explain to Mom before I left for work if I had time. She would lose her mind if she heard his name from Jessa's lips.