Lost in her fragmented mind, Ava intertwined her fore fingers gently around her wrist. Her parched skin was soothingly cold, silencing the demons for a few minutes. Like the touch of your best-friend, Ana's touch was relaxing in these moments. It's impossible to comprehend for your neurotypical person I suppose but the bliss from these brisk, passive moments made the demons go silent. Perhaps not healthy but how could Ava let go of her best-friend? Most people have experienced a toxic best-friend and been too scared to leave, right?

You see, many impatient and frankly lazy psychologists will ignore this fact like the plague. Ava knew this all too well, after all many services treat you like a piece of dirt unless you are a "perfect white girl". But this raises the question: what is the criteria for "perfect"?.

Well, the stereotype would be your barbie and taylor swift obsessed teenage girl with beaming blond hair. Yet, barely anyone in the unit fit this criteria. Ava and her roomate were definitely binary opposites to this!

Ava was sharing her luxury prison cell with a timid 15 year old girl called Lucy. Lucy was admitted a few days after Ava when her parents couldn't cope anymore, not everyone is prepared for this battle I guess. She was the biggest tomboy that Ava had met with an unexplainable obsession to Melanie Martinez.
This was expressed via her basically non existent walls camouflaged in posters and her split dye magnolia- black hair.

Forced into the unit, it wasn't easy for either of them to adjust. After all, the rules here are relentless!

Institute rules:

[ ] All meals must be completed in supervision of staff

[ ] 2 community gatherings at the canteen everyday

[ ] Wake up at 6am to begin morning routine

[ ] No sexual contact with other residents

[ ] Friendships cannot interfere with treatment regimene

[ ] Family may visit every 3 weeks, depending on behaviour and progress

[ ] Weekly therapy sessions

[ ] Monthly trips out of the institute with vigorous staff supervision and parental permission

[ ] Phone use between 1pm- 10pm everyday excluding community gatherings and meal times

[ ] 11pm bedtime, caught breaking this rule = 10pm bedtime

They were almost 6 months into treatment and by now were fairly accustomed to the rules. Admittedly, once you learn the tricks around your phone usage life got simpler as Friendships are hard to maintain in this environment.

I mean, lack of social skills comes in hand with isolation and limiting rules. But teenagers will always rebel, their drawn to risky decisions like a magpie to gold according to Ava's mother. However, the biggest limitation here is time.

Quality time is crucial for all relationships I suppose, that's why Ava learnt to conceal her phone in her coat pocket on silent whilst staff observed evert night. Following suite, Lucy had copied her so they text all night for comfort and ( mainly) to talk shit about their community sessions. It's satire really, but the girls had to put on their imprinted grin because it was 10am- community time!

Grrr! Grrr! Scratched the attending nurse's worn out platform trainers as she slid across the unit.

" Come on girls, community then lunch. And you are all eating today!", she grumbled. Martha was a stern lady, it was very rare for her to show empathy towards the girls. Like a sociopath, her face was emotionless with clear irritation expressed through her burrowed eyebrows.

*rolling their eyes, Ava and Lucy quietly giggle to themselves* It was a running joke to bet on how angry she would be that day, like they knew she was a boomer but everyone agreed she was way too extreme. She was only 'kind' to those who obeyed everything she said but they felt like she was yelling at the military. Like jeez, yes they are technically battling but their not actually at war, Ava especially was scared of her like this.

https://youtu.be/mRxNyGfUAxI

Hesitantly, Ava headed out their room with Lucy close behind her. Visibly trembling her leg, Ava looked back at Lucy for re-assurance. They had formed a tight knit bond and she helped her ignore Ana even whilst Lucy battled her own demons, nobody is there because they are loving life though.

Following an orderly line of the other girls in the unit, the pair walk into the canteen where the support worker is waiting for them. Their only a student so seem a bit more sympathetic with them but they never stay long, Martha always storms over like a rampaged bull to take over. Sitting in a circle similar to a cult, the social worker introduces the topic of gratitude as Martha grunts at them from the corner. It's engaging to be fair and allows them time to socialize with other inmates in the unit.
In particular, Charlie.

Perched beside Charlie, the girls try striking conversation with her. She was visibly upset about something as her crystal blue eyes were forming teardrops but it was impossible to know if that was just anxiety over lunch. Everyone experiences it here, unlike the beliefs of Moody Martha.

"Hey guys, nice to see you. Before lunch let's think about positive things in our lives, so we are focusing on gratitude for the next 20 minutes. Anyone want to share something to start?", softly said the support worker.

There was silence until Charlie slightly elevated her arm, catching their attention.

"I just want to thank my friends for supporting me even when I'm annoyed at my mum for not visiting me", she proclaimed. "I know i'm a lot, well all of us are to our families that's why we are here ain't it?"

Satisfied with her response, the support worker thanks her for opening up before briefly discussing how grateful we should be for a chance to beat our demons here together. Everyone silently nods as the chat comes to a halt and giving everyone just over an hour to themselves. "Eh, even inmates deserve a break then.", Charlie whispered to Ava and Lucy whom hold their laughter in until Martha is gone.

"So, Whats up Charl?", they interrogated as a wave of banter took over the canteen.
"Just what I said, so why are you shaking Ava?", she asked in return.
"The carb meal like damn can Martha chill out. I know where we are but still", muttered Ava.

Time flew by almost too quick as they talked amongst themselves and checked in on how their regimen was going. Nobody wanted to be caught exchanging this information at lunch so it was like secret service. Then the deafening chhiing of the bell blared through the canteen creating a wave of fear. If there was a service dog around, they'd probably smell the anxiety from miles away.

Like a bloodhound, Martha announces it is lunchtime by charging in with a fairly substantial tray of food. Once the period is over, she leaves them to return to their rooms but makes sure to practically breathe down their necks. (Notably she needs more mouthwash)

Across the rooms, a sudden silence dawned. It was cold, full of discomfort. No, it wasn't the entity of Martha though i'm sure she would haunt the place if she died. Ava and Lucy were lying on their beds talking through the community session and began thinking deeper about the topic. Gratitude- How can they be thankful living in practically a cell block? With Ng tubes left out dirty by the foyer as an omininious threat for the girls, it was hard to relax.

" So, it may be cheesy but i'm glad your here Ava. You've helped me settle in and taught me about how to avoid the bull's wrath. *giggles* But seriously, you do so much for me even though your stuck with me.", confessed Lucy as she embraces her.

"T-thank you. Same for you really and i'm sorry for the meltdowns you've had to watch, i'm not a toddler I promise Freud can fuck off. But I'm grateful for you too, and i wouldn't be caught dead saying this out there", she responded a bit more cheerfully.

"Hey, that's the nicest thing you've said to me", gushed Lucy. She brushes her hand across Ava's thigh to calm her down and stops at a burning point to embrace her again.

Lost in the moment, Ana fades away as Ava looks hopefully at her. "I'll be alright, but you be careful too please. I need you here" she said.

*Smiling* "Only if you promise too", pleaded Lucy.

"Fine", replied Ava.

In harmony, the girls jinx their fingers and tears of happiness form in their eyes. It'll be a long journey for them but together, they'll do it. If only Charlie was here too, she could do with some love. Assuring each other they'll tell her before dinner, they joke around to distract from the impending doom. Slouched on the same bed, Ava puts a crappy chick flick on Netflix and processes Lucy's words. They weren't just words, they meant something. It's like her heart opened and she hopes Lucy feels the same way because she has the key to save her from this monster.