He was the best thing that ever happened to me.

When I met Sean, I was a twenty-two year old girl who was fresh out of college and had just moved from Ireland to Denmark, much to the dismay of my parents. Even though I had my life figured out and know exactly what I wanted to accomplish, they still worried about me. They tried their hardest to convince me to continue to live with them and stay in Denmark, but I would always say that I was now an adult and a college graduate and it was time for them to let their once little girl go. I needed to be independent and get started on the next chapter on my life, which was moving out from my parent's house and to Ireland, a place I had dreamed of living in ever since I was a child and ever since took a trip there when I was nine years old. Besides, I didn't want to be stuck living with my parents for the rest of my life. I had dreams and I wanted to achieve them.
And they couldn't be achieved if I stayed here in Denmark.

*****

"Signe, I really don't think that you should do this." My mother kept ahold of my arm after I had given her a goodbye hug. "You should really listen to the doctors. They all said that you may be too sick to move to Ireland."
I sighed. "I'm tired of hearing that. Ever since I was fourteen, almost everything that I wanted to do was shot down by everyone saying, "You can't do that. What if you're all alone and you collapse? There'll be no one there to help you get back up." or, "I would advise you not to do that. You'll more than likely end up collapsing if you do."
"Honey, your mother's right." My father's eyes were filled with concern. I was shocked to hear him say this. He was a man of few words and he kept to himself most of the time. He also almost never showed any emotions. The one of very few times I ever saw my father's stone cold face break was when he and my mother finally took me to the doctor when the symptoms proved to be too much for me to handle and the diagnosis was given.

At only fourteen years old, I was diagnosed with a little something called Multiple Sclerosis, or MS for short.
Okay, it was actually more than a little something.
After I got diagnosed, I had to start taking heaps of medication several times a day. It got to the point where I felt like I needed all of those medications in order to stay alive.
It didn't help that I started getting depressed after the diagnosis.
My depression was absolutely awful. While I was at school, kids would ask me when I was going to collapse and how I managed to travel from class to class when I couldn't go a single day without collapsing. Because people would constantly get picked on, I avoided everyone at all costs and spent most of time completely alone at school. Also, I lost all of my friends after I got diagnosed with MS because they either moved away or stopped being my friend because everyone started bullying me.
Losing all of my friends only made me depression worse.
While I never had the courage to self-harm no matter how hard I tried, I kept myself locked in my room and I cried a lot. I would usually cry until I could no longer produce any more tears and I would have nightmares almost every single night.
Of course, my parents noticed my behavior and immediately signed me up for counseling. While I absolutely despised going to counseling, it was much better than the other option that they gave me, which was a support group.
There are a million things I'd rather do than go to a support group.
One of those things is live through all the pain, blurry vision, tremors, and muscle spasms that I experienced before being diagnosed with MS and before I started taking so many different kinds of medications several times a day.
Almost anything is better than going to a support group.
Almost.

Thankfully, my condition was somewhat improved since being first diagnosed and my depression is pretty much gone. I stopped going to counseling when I started going to college because that's where everything got better. My MS was much less severe than it was before and a few years after I was diagnosed. My condition improved so much that I was allowed to stop taking certain medications and I was allowed to take the medications that I absolutely needed less frequently every single day. Not only that, but I also finally started making friends when I began attending college. I was friends with almost every single person that had the same major as me and we all sat together as a big group during lunch. We also went to a bunch of parties and did things that most college kids did at parties. While I didn't smoke or drink because of MS, I had a couple of one night stands and I remember them vividly since I was completely sober when they happened and they were just a couple of years ago. Since the guys were borderline blackout drunk during the instances, they can hardly recall the incident. Now, I would like to point out that I didn't take advantage of these guys just because they were drunk. Plus, I had a crush on them during each one night stand and I had sure that I had their consent before we both went through with it. While they were enjoyable at the time when I was a young and dumb college sophomore that thought that she was on top of the world, I wouldn't dare have a one night stand again. They rarely ever mean anything after one night and more often than not, they fade into obscurity and both people go on with their lives like nothing ever happened.

While I don't regret any of the decisions that I made during college (Surprisingly), if I was ever given the chance to go through college all over again, I would focus more on trying to build a relationship with someone who had the potential to be my significant other rather than trying to sleep with someone for one night and go back to school the following Monday and brag about how I screwed that kid who's studying to become a doctor or how I screwed that kid who's studying to become a teacher (I remember that I made a comment how, even though he was drunk beyond belief, he managed to teach me a couple of things and thought that I was really clever for saying it. Yeah, it definitely wasn't clever. But since I was a college sophomore at the time, I thought it was and I thought that it was pretty awesome that I managed to convince two people to have a one night stand with me.) and how awesome the whole experience was.
News flash past Signe: That kid who was studying to become a doctor definitely had something and you were lucky that you didn't catch it. Also, you really should've been much more cautious about who you allowed to be inside of you. But I guess I'll give you a tiny bit of credit because that kid who was studying to become a teacher knew exactly what he was doing, even though he was drunk out of his mind. It was a good thing that he wasn't your first because you would've been an unstoppable force if he was.

When senior year of college came around, that's when I invested almost all of my time into my studies. I stopped going to parties and I stopped having one night stands with guys that more than likely had something from the many girls that he had one night stands with and guys that were amazingly good at doing the deed (Even though I secretly hoped that kid would call me and want to take things beyond a one night stand up until graduation day.) and started focusing way more on improving my art style and making sure that every drawing that I did was better than the last, even if it was just a little bit. While I still hung out with my friends and kept in touch with them, I didn't attend parties with them and instead of spending my Friday and Saturday nights mingling with anyone that was willing to talk to me, looking for the chance to have an awesome one night stand story to tell Monday morning, and doing pretty much anything anyone dared me to do (Skinny dipping, egging the house of a mean old lady that lived across from one of the sorority party houses that my friends and I frequented, streaking at three AM while everyone else was drunk and the neighborhood was more than likely on the verge of calling the police, and so many other things that somehow didn't get me into some pretty major trouble with the police.), I spent my Friday and Saturday nights drawing and scrapping so many sketches and paintings with only my goal of becoming the best artist I could possibly be in my mind. Honestly, I'm really glad that I decided to take my senior year of college very seriously and stop being a party girl because I have this feeling that if I had decided to continue on being a party girl, I never would've been able to stop and possibility waste all of my scholarships and all of the money that I invested into going to college. It's definitely true that I was once addicted to partying.
But not anymore, especially since I haven't been to any party for over a year now and I don't plan on going to another party anytime soon.

*****

"You really should stay with us. Your mother and I need to keep a constant eye on you because you've been sick ever since you were fourteen and it's slowly gotten worse ever since." My father's voice pulled me back into reality and I temporarily forgot where I was.
When I remembered where I was and what was going on, I looked both my mother and my father dead in the eyes. I grabbed ahold of each of their hands and said, "Mom, Dad, I understand that you love me very much and that you worry about me, but it's time to let me go off on my own. I'm twenty-two years old now and I've lived with you for my entire life, even while I was attending college. I'm not the little girl that always had that desire to travel and see the world anymore. I'm a grown woman whose just graduated college. I need to start the next chapter of my life now." I smiled, hoping that it would help convince them that I would be okay. "I'll still come and see you. I promise. Plus, my MS is at the best that it's ever been right now. I'm hardly ever experiencing all those things that I experienced back when my MS was really bad so that's not as big as a concern as it once was."
"You've grown up so fast." My mother let go of my hand and wiped away the tears that had fallen from her eyes while I was talking. "It's so hard to say goodbye."
"Would it make you feel better if I came back here a month from today to visit you for a few days?" I asked, beginning to rush the goodbye I was giving her and my father because my flight was going to finish boarding in a few minutes.
"Yes, that would be really lovely." My mother smiled and seemed to be cheered up a little bit by my offer. Or so I thought. "It's going to be really hard waiting an entire month to see you again when I've seen you almost every single day for twenty-two years." Her smile faded as quickly as it came after she said this. "Can you possibly come any sooner?"
I shook my head. "I have to get everything set up, including my art studio. I also have to start preparations so that I can open up that art shop that I always talked about."
"I suppose you have a point." My mother let out a sad sigh. "You really did grow up too fast, you know."
I quickly checked the time on my phone and realized that I had to get on my flight before it left without me. I pulled both my mother and my father into a hug and whispered, "Take care of yourselves while I'm gone. I'll be back to visit you before you even know it."
"I sure hope so." My mother whispered back as I broke off my hug and gathered up all of my luggage. "Call me when you land in Ireland so that your father and I know that you arrived okay."
I will." I promised them, giving them a goodbye wave before I finally headed towards the boarding area.

*****

It had been thirteen years since I had been on a plane before today.
I was really proud of myself for managing to make it onto the plane without collapsing not just because of MS, but also because of the anxiety I felt about getting on a plane for the first time in over a decade. Thankfully, that anxiety faded away once the plane took off and we were thousands of feet up in the sky.
"Ireland, here I come." I whispered excitedly as I stared out the window. For a brief moment, I felt like I was nine years old once again and staring out the window with eager anticipation of seeing what a very tiny portion of the world looked like outside of Denmark. While I was now twenty-two years old rather than nine years old and didn't have my parents sitting in the seats in the same row as me so that I could bombard them with a million questions about Ireland and what it was like, I still felt the same excitement and anticipation that my nine year old self felt when we took a family trip to Ireland during the summer thirteen years ago.
I can't believe it's been thirteen years since I've actually been to Ireland. I thought to myself as I decided that I really didn't want to try and make conversation with anyone on the plane and decided that I would use the time I would be stuck on my flight to get some sketches done. I wanted to make sure that I had as many as possible done before I opened up my art shop. While I still had to things such as where the art shop was going to be and whether or not I was going to run the art shop on my own or have some people help me, it was still important that I had as many sketches and paintings ready to be sold as possible.

Once I opened my sketchbook to the sketch that I had been working on last night, I plugged my earbuds into my phone and put my music on shuffle before putting my phone into my pocket and shifting my entire focus to the sketch I was working on.

*****

Thankfully, I didn't have my music turned up to an ungodly level and I kept one earbud out of my ear so I could actually hear when the announcement that the flight was landing was made. When I heard the announcement, I made the final touches to the sketch that I had been working on for the entire flight before I closed my sketchbook and waited for the plane to land so that I could gather up my luggage and get to my apartment as quickly as possible. I knew that it was going to take quite a while to get everything set up so I wanted to get there as soon as I possibly could.

*****

Once I finally managed to get to my apartment after battling through the chaos of everyone trying to leave the plane at the same time, the tedious wait of waiting for the baggage to circle around so that I could get my luggage, and riding the transit in order to get the building where my apartment was located in, I began unpacking my luggage because I wanted to get my apartment set up so that I could focus on making all of the necessary preparations so that I could open up my art shop and begin selling my art to people.

As I was unpacking my luggage, I realized that I had made a promise to my mother that I would call her as soon as I arrived in Ireland and she was probably staring at her phone while being worried sick at this very moment. While I had technically broken that promise, at least I was being a good daughter and calling her now rather than waiting for her to call me and give me a lecture about how I had broken her promise to her and she thought that I had died or something along those lines. Seeing as I've been an adult for four years now, I don't really want to hear my mom lecture me anymore. Dealing with an eighteen years worth of lectures was already enough.

"Signe! Thank goodness you called!" My mother picked up the phone after only two rings, which didn't surprise me at all since I figured that she's been hovering over her phone ever since I waved goodbye to her and my father. "I was starting to get worried sick! I thought that something happened."
"Mom, what on earth could've possibly happened?" I asked her, immediately regretting asking this question after I had finished speaking. I regretted it even more because I already knew what the answer was and it could also cause my mother to start the infamous lectures that I loathed so much.
"Don't act dumb! You know what could've happened!" I could my mother's anger and frustration in her voice. "You could've collapsed before, during, or after the flight or your muscles could've started spasming or you could've gone into another one of your episodes where your entire body is in pain! I was really hoping that you would've been responsible and called me the moment that you arrived in Ireland like you promised!"
Of course you tell me that I knew what could've happened before you proceed to tell me anyway.
"Mom, I'm sorry." I resisted the urge the let out a sigh because I knew that it would only make her even more upset than she already was. "I got so caught up in unpacking that calling you completely slipped my mind."
My mother sighed, not bothering to hide her disappointment she felt when she did so. "Signe, you have to be more responsible than this. You're in a completely different country on your own now. You need to prove to me that you made the right decision to move to Denmark."
"I don't have to prove anything to you anymore!" I couldn't help but snap at my mother at that moment. It was now impossible for me to hold back my frustration. "I'm twenty-two years old! I've been an adult for four years now! Just because I finally moved out on my own doesn't mean that you still have control over me. You've been controlling every aspect of my life for as long as I can remember, especially since I got sick. Who stopped me from taking that class trip to France when I was in eleventh grade? You did. Who stopped me from moving into a dorm when I attended college? You did. Who tried to stop me from going to all of those college parties? You did. I'm so tired of being held back by you. I just want to live my life and make myself happy. I don't want to worry about displeasing you or Dad anymore. I just... I just want to become the person I was always meant to be."
Dead silence followed after I finished speaking. After a few moments had passed, my mother broke the silence by her pathetic response of, "Signe, I'm sorry."
"Your apology means nothing to me." I hung up before I said anything that I would later end up regretting.
I was really not looking forward to coming back and visiting her and my father a month from now.
And, of course, it wasn't like I could back out of actually going.
I'd never hear the end of that.
Because of that, it was much better if I forced myself to go than if I decided to not go at all.

*****

The day came much, much sooner than I would've liked.
I really did not want to go back to Denmark, especially since I still had so much work to do.
Even though I had written out a fully detailed plan on what I wanted my art shop's interior to look like, what I wanted to call my art shop, and what I planned on doing to make sure that it didn't get shut down, I still hadn't succeeded in finding a location for it. No matter how hard I looked, nowhere satisfied with me. I would always find something wrong with the places that I looked at, like how it was much too secluded from its surroundings or how I just couldn't see my art shop being in a place with so many different stores. Honestly, I was starting to get worried. I wanted to open up this art shop more than anything.
Also, not only was I having trouble with finding a location for my art shop, but my MS was starting to get worse again after it had remained in a good standing for nearly a year.
Because of its worsening state, I've had to put up wooden railings all over my apartment because my collapsing was extremely unpredictable and I've gotten injured because I had ended up collapsing at very bad times.
Not only had my collapsing returned, but so did my muscle spasms. It was becoming harder to draw because my muscles would experience a spasm and I wouldn't be able to regain control of them until several minutes later at the most.
Even though I've had MS for eight years now, there are times where I feel depressed because of it.
Today happened to be one of those days. It was made worse by the fact that I had to go back to Denmark today and try to stay here for as little time as possible so that I could turn my attention back to working on sketches and paintings and getting my art shop opened up.

*****

As I was getting ready to gather up my luggage and go to the airport, I realized that I should probably go over to the apartment across from mine and introduce myself to the new neighbor. I had heard from several people in the building that someone had moved in across from me just last night and that I should consider introducing myself to them, especially since I lived across from them.
At that moment, I would indeed go over and introduce myself to them. Not only would it allow me to meet someone new, but it would also allow me to stall time before I had to go to the airport and get on my flight to Denmark.

"Please be home and please answer the door." I muttered underneath my breath after I had knocked on the door of the apartment that was directly across from mine.
A few moments later, I saw the doorknob turn before the door slowly swung open. A fairly tall man with the side of his hair shaved and dyed a light green at the top and blue eyes stood in the doorway. He appeared to be a few years older than me and based on his appearance, I guessed at he was in his late twenties. He also seemed to be extremely tired and his eyes confirmed this. They were struggling to stay open and were extremely dull in color. I could also tell that he was trying his best to hold back a yawn.
"Hi, are you the new neighbor?" I put on the friendliest voice that I could manage and gave him a smile. "I heard from the other people that live in this building that the new neighbor was moving in today."
"Yeah, that's me." When he spoke, it was very obvious that he had an Irish accent. Based on how his accent sounded, I guessed that he had been living in Ireland for his entire life. Also, I suddenly felt a bit awkward because his Irish accent clashed heavily with my Danish one. "I'm guessing that you live here too?"
I nodded as I continued to smile. "I actually live across from you in that apartment right over there." I turned my head away from him and pointed to the apartment that was directly across from mine. As I was pointing, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that my arm had started trembling. Upon noticing this, I quickly turned my head to face him again before I held out my hand, which had stopped for a very brief moment before quickly resuming to its trembling, towards him to shake and said, "By the way, my name is Signe."
"My name is Sean." The man smiled as he shook my hand. I somehow managed to keep a straight face as I weakly shook his hand. I was beginning to lose control of my arm and my strength wasn't its best because of it. I hoped that the man wouldn't mind that my handshake was so weak because some people couldn't stand it when someone had a weak handshake. "But most people call me Jack. I don't care if you call me Jack or Sean. Pick your favorite."
"I like Sean." My smile somehow managed to grow bigger as I stated my favorite of the two options without even having to give it a second thought. "That's my favorite."
"Well, I like Signe." Sean's smile grew as well. "I've never heard that name before. I think it's a really beautiful name."
I felt my face grow a bit hot and I was almost certain that a blush was beginning to form on my face. "R-Really? Y-You think so?" I found myself struggling to speak for the first time in a very long time. The last time I could recall struggling to socialize with someone was my senior year of high school. I wondered why I was having trouble speaking to Sean, especially since I've been extremely social for years now.
He nodded. "Yeah, I do."
"You're too kind." My face grew hotter as I pulled my phone out of my pocket and quickly checked the time before I slid it back into my pocket. "Well, I better get going. I have some things that I have to get done."
More like, "I have to go to Denmark now, even though we literally just met and you actually seem like you're a pretty nice guy."
"Okay." Sean seemed a bit sad that I had to leave. "Will I be seeing you around?"
"Yeah, of course you will." I laughed a bit. "I live right across from you, after all."
"That's true." He laughed a bit as well. "But I was kinda hoping to see you again so that we can talk more and get to know each other beyond our names."
"Oh!" I was surprised that he was expressing interest in getting to know me, just like I expressed interest in getting to know him. "Well, in that case..." I trailed off, hesitant to continue. I wasn't sure how long I was going to be in Denmark. I could be back three days from now or I could be back three weeks from now. I was obviously hoping for the former rather than the latter. I think I would go nuts if I had to spend three weeks in Denmark when I've only been in Ireland for a month. Besides, Sean seemed like he was an extremely nice guy and I came to the decision that I wanted to get to know him too. "We can get to know each other more."
"Great." He seemed to be holding back a yawn as he spoke. "I guess I'll see you around then."
"Yep." I turned and began walking back towards my apartment. As I was about to enter my apartment, I turned my head and looked back at him. "See you around, Sean."
"See you around, Signe."

*****

Just before I was about to board my flight back to Denmark, something happened for the very first time in the twenty-two years that I've been living and breathing on Earth.
My father called me.
Like I've stated before, my father is a man of few words and a man who almost never showed his emotions.
He wasn't always like this though.
Long, long ago, my father was a happy man. He was man that always had a smile on his face and a man that always tried his best to make other people happy.
That was before my twin sister ran away from home twelve years ago.

~~~~~

"Wait, what?" I, twelve years old at the time, watched in confusion as my identical twin sister filled her backpack with clothes, food, and the sketchbook that she always kept nearby her at all times and it was packed full of drawings of birds, butterflies, and even people.

Even though my twin sister has been gone without a single trace for twelve years now, I still vividly remember how she would always carry her sketchbook wherever she went and drew something that inspired her or something that she found to be beautiful. For example, during our trip to Ireland a year before she ran away from home, I remember that she drew what the sky looked like while we were on our flight to Ireland and she also drew the gorgeous view that we had from the hotel we stayed at during the trip.
She, of course, drew many other things, but those are the drawings I remember the most.

"Why are you packing all of that stuff into your backpack?" I asked the person that was basically my reflection if it was actually a person.
"Because I'm leaving." She simply stated as she finished packing up her backpack before she zipped it close.
"What?!" I exclaimed like she had told me we had to go to school the next day, even though it was Saturday the next day at the time. "B-But you can't leave! It's nearly midnight! We're supposed to be asleep!"
"Shut up! You're being way too loud!" My twin sister shushed me as she pulled her backpack over her shoulders. "You're going to wake up Mom and Dad! If they come in here and see that I'm leaving, they'll be super mad. Now, with that being said, I want you to promise me something."
"O-Okay." I agreed, feeling reluctant about actually going through with the promise.
"Promise me that you won't tell Mom and Dad that I left." She looked me dead in the eyes as she spoke. "I don't know how long I'll be gone, but in exchange for the promise that you make to me, I'll promise you that I'll return. It doesn't matter if I return a couple of days from now or a couple of weeks from now. I promise you that I will be back."
Looking back, I realize that there was a hint of fear in her eyes. It was almost if she had to leave and if she didn't, something bad would happen.
That's probably what compelled me to nod my head and say, "I promise."
"Thank you." She gave me a smile. "Now, go back to bed and act like none of this ever happened."
Before I could respond, she turned and quietly left the room. Little did I know, that was the last time I would ever see my twin sister.

~~~~~

Twelve years, countless missing posters, way too many search parties, and many nights wondering if my twin sister would actually fulfill her promise later, there hasn't been a single trace. It's almost as if she's completely disappeared off the face of the earth. I had kept my promise to her and not said a word to our parents, but that didn't stop them from doing everything they can to find out what happened. The morning after she ran away, I got up extra early and made it look like she had been kidnapped rather than she had run away. Of course, through my tears as I told the fake story, my parents believed me. During the entire situation, the tears weren't the hardest part because they were genuine.
The hardest part was lying to my parents.
I know that I should've just gone against my twin sister's wishes and told my parents the truth, but being twelve years old and a bit on the naive side, I kept my promise and lied.
Looking back, I should've just told them the truth.
Maybe my twin sister would be here today if I had just told them the truth.

Even though I gave up searching long ago, there are some days (Few and far in between though) where I wish that my twin sister would return. There are some days where she would eagerly beckon me over and tell me to look at her most recent drawing. Expressionism was her choice of art style, as her favorite painting was The Scream by Edvard Munch. After she saw that painting during art class in elementary school, she fell in love with expressionism and vowed that she would draw in that art style. She stayed true to her vow up until the day she ran away.

As for me, I draw in impressionism. Even though I didn't begin drawing until I was fourteen years old (Unlike my sister, who basically started drawing the moment she learned how to read and write properly.) and after I was diagnosed with MS, I fell in love with impressionism the same way that my twin sister fell in love with expressionism. Like her, my favorite painting made me fall in love with the style. Vetheuil In The Fog by Claude Monet, along with my twin sister's undying passion, really inspired me to try out art.
Now, eight years later, I can't imagine what my life would be like if art wasn't a part of it.
If my twin sister was still here, not only would I hug her tightly and shed tears of happiness, but I would also thank her for indirectly helping me find my true passion.
And even though impressionism and expressionism came to an end during the nineteenth and twentieth century respectively, my twin sister and I always felt proud that we were keeping our art styles of choice alive. Even though our art styles were different, our love and passion for them was the same.

*****

"Hello?" I finally managed to pull myself back into reality and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hide the shock I felt over the fact that my father had called me. I never thought I'd see the day where "Dad" would be displayed on the caller ID.
"Hey." My father's voice was hushed and his tone made it seem like he was upset. "Have you arrived yet?"
I shook my head, even though I knew that he couldn't see me do so. "No, I haven't even gotten on my flight yet. Why?"
My father let out a long and emotionless sigh. "Your mother..." He trailed off. I stayed silent for a few moments and waited for him to start speaking again, but he never did.
"What's wrong with her?"
"She's just... She's very upset right now, to say the least." My father still spoke quietly, as if he didn't want anyone to hear what he wanted to say. "She's been saying that she's a terrible mother because of what you said while you two were on the phone and she's blaming herself for your twin sister disappearing all those years ago, even though it was my fault. I should've kept a closer eye on her. If I did, maybe, just maybe, she'd still be here with us today."
"Dad..." I sighed. "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault." I sighed again, knowing that I could no longer keep the promise that I made to my twin sister that fateful night twelve years ago. "It's no one's fault. The truth is..." I gulped as I started to get a sickening feeling at the pit of my stomach. "She ran away. Remember how I said that I woke up and found her gone? Well, I was lying when I said that because I promised her that I wouldn't tell anyone the truth. Because of that, I had to make it look like she hadn't run away because I knew that I couldn't get away with lying if I didn't have any "evidence" so I got up really early the next morning and made it look like she had gotten kidnapped and after I set everything up, I made up the story that I told you all those years ago about how someone had crawled in through the window in the middle of the night and taken her away, leaving me behind because I pretended to be asleep and you guys believed me." I let out a sigh once more. "I'm really sorry for lying. Looking back on the whole situation, I now realize that telling the truth was probably the best thing to do. But, of course, being twelve years old and thinking that breaking a promise was the end of the world, I kept the truth a secret. Maybe... Maybe she'd be here with us right now if I had just told the truth instead of just coming up with this elaborate lie that you and Mom have believed for twelve years."
Dead silence fell between my father and I at that moment. After a few unbearable moments of this horrible silence had passed, I mentally screamed at my father to say something. I didn't care if he told me that I was a terrible person for lying. I just wanted him to end this damn silence before I went insane.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, my father said, "You could've saved your sister from making such a terrible mistake and yet, you chose to make a stupid promise and lie about what really happened to her. How could you lie to your mother and I like that?! You don't understand the horrible feeling of not knowing if your child is dead or alive. I've been living with this feeling for twelve years and now I find out that one of my daughters lied to me instead of doing the right thing and telling the truth. I thought you were better than this, Signe! I thought that you were the kind of person who always told the truth, regardless of whether or not the truth hurt someone."
Hearing him say this caused me to burst into tears right on the spot. I knew that everyone was probably staring at me right now, but I didn't care.
"Dad, you should've seen the look in her eyes when she told me to promise not to tell anyone." I somehow managed to speak, even though tears were streaming down my face and I was trembling not because of MS (For once), but because I couldn't control my crying. "There was a look of fear in her eyes, as if something bad was going to happen if she didn't run away. I didn't realize it at the time, but that's what compelled me to make that promise."
Much to my dismay, dead silence fell between my father and I. Thankfully, it only lasted a moment and just like last time, my father was the one to break it.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It'd be much better if we discussed this when you returned home." Even though he was trying his very best to hide it, I could tell that my father was very disappointed in me. Not that I blame him, of course. I'm disappointed in myself as well. "Besides, you probably have a flight to catch and you won't be able to talk on the phone while you're on the flight. I'll see you when you return home."
Before I could even think of a response, he hung up. I sighed as I wiped away my tears, stuffed my phone deep into my pocket, and ran as fast as I possibly could so that I would still be allowed to board my flight.

*****

The only thing that I did on my flight back to Denmark was cry.
I didn't draw anything.
I didn't listen to music.
I didn't stare out the window and admire the view that I had forgotten I loved so much until I had flew to Ireland last month.
All I did was stare at the back of the seat that was in front of me and cry as quietly as I possibly could so that no one would angrily tell me to shut up, which only make me cry even more. I hadn't really and truly thought about the entire situation in as much detail as I did prior to getting on my flight. Everything was so much severe than I remembered being and the fact that I always tried to push everything to the very back of my mind and that I very rarely allowed myself to think about my twin sister and how much I wished that she would return. I always thought I could cope better if I didn't think about everything that happened and went on with my life as if nothing of it ever actually happened.
I was dead wrong.
I think that I'm more upset now than I would've been if I hadn't chose to ignore the fact that my twin sister ran away and hasn't been seen or heard from in twelve years.
The saddest part of all of this is that since it's been more than a decade since everything has happened, my parents, oldest sister (Who is someone that neither my parents or I have contact with because she moved to America to attend college and we gradually lost touch with her over the years), and I are all convinced that my twin sister is dead. After all, if she was truly alive, surely some sign of her would turn up since it's been more than a decade since she ran away from home and it was nearly impossible to stay under the radar as a runaway in this day and age.

*****

I never thought I would say this, but I was relieved when I arrived in Denmark.
I thought I was going to go insane if I had to stay on that plane any longer.
I'm the type of person that absolutely despised crying in front of people because it made me feel very self-conscious and I always worry about people staring at me and silently judging me for crying. While I was going through many years of bullying, I would frequently end up crying because of the things people would say and do to me. Hearing their laughter and seeing them point at me would cause me to cry even more and there was one time where I felt so overwhelmed by the pointing and laughing that I nearly fell into a panic attack. Luckily, I managed to stop myself from doing so by forcing myself to walk away from everyone and hide in the bathroom for the rest of the school day. I remembered feeling even more terrible on that particular day because no one bothered to come looking for me and because of that, nearly all of my school day was spent crying in the bathroom and wishing that I could go back to the days where I didn't have MS.
Thankfully, those days are long behind me and I'm no longer saddened by them. Rather, I'm empowered by them because it shows that I was strong enough to battle a disease and constant bullying at the same time.

"Signe!"
I heard my father calling my name after I had gotten off my flight and collected my luggage. A moment after I heard his voice, I looked over and saw him waving at me. As I was walking over to him, I noticed that my mother wasn't there with him.
That was the moment where I started to become concerned about her.
"Where's Mom?" I immediately asked my father as soon as he was close enough to hear me.
"She's at home." My father let out a heavy sigh. "I tried to get her to come with me, but she refused to." He shook his head and I swore that I saw tears gleaming in his eyes. "She locked herself in our bedroom after you hung up on her and I'm getting really worried about her. It's getting to the point where I'm about to bust down the door."
"Maybe she'll come out when she finds out that I'm here." I tried my best to reassure him, but it was a pathetic attempt and I was fully aware of that.
"I sure hope so." Although I thought that my attempt to reassure my father that my mother would be okay was quite pathetic, he actually seemed to be a bit reassured.

*****

"Mom, I'm home." I called out to my mother as I knocked on the door to her bedroom. "Dad told me that you locked yourself in your room after I hung up on you and you haven't come out since. Him and I are really worried about you. I want you to unlock this door and talk to us. You've never had this kind of behavior and that just makes us even more concerned about you and your well-being."
Much to my surprise, I heard a very quiet click as my mother slowly unlocked the door. After she had unlocked the door, I placed my hand on the doorknob and turned it before I slowly opened the door and peered my head into the room. I saw my mother carefully climbing onto the bed before she laid down on her bed and stared at the ceiling.
"Mom? Are you okay?" I asked her as I slowly stepped into the room as if I was afraid that something terrible was about to happen.
A small smile formed on her face when I was standing by the bed and looking down at her. "Yes, sweetie. I'm okay. I wasn't okay before, but now that you're here, I feel okay once more."
I couldn't help but feel unsettled by what she said rather than comforted. "Are you absolutely sure that you're okay?"
She completely ignored my question and asked me a question of her own instead. "How long do you plan on staying?"
"Um... Five days." I replied, feeling more and more unsettled as time went by. I felt like the woman lying on the bed was a complete and utter stranger instead of my mother. "Why?"
"No, no." She shook her head rapidly. "Five days isn't long enough. How about you stay for a week? Or maybe a month? Or maybe even a couple of months?"
"Mom, I only packed enough stuff to stay for five days." I spoke slowly, almost as if I thought that she wouldn't understand what I was saying unless I did so. "Besides, staying for a month or two would just be insane. I moved out a month ago and I still have a lot of work that I have to do, work that I pushed to the side just to make this trip. I'm already losing enough precious work time by being here for five days and I'm really only here because I promised you that I would come back for a visit."
"So, let me get this straight." My mother was still looking up at the ceiling and completely avoiding any sort of eye contact with me. "I only get to spend a mere one-hundred and twenty hours with my youngest daughter and the only daughter that I actually have left? And that one-hundred and twenty hours doesn't even account for the time that you'll be asleep. Unless, of course, you'd actually somehow manage to pull off not getting a moment of sleep for the next five days." She laughed a bit, causing me to feel sick to my stomach for a very brief moment. "But I know that you wouldn't do that because you've always valued sleep, especially when you were a little girl. Back in those days, it seemed like all you ever did was sleep. Not that I'm complaining though. It made caring for you a hell of a lot easier."
"Yes, you only get to spend five days with me and..." I trailed off, starting to really consider every single word I said carefully. I decided to ignore everything else she had just said because even though my mother more than likely thought that her words were endearing, I didn't view them as being endearing. Something was definitely wrong with her and she certainly wasn't in the right state of mind at the moment. "Like I just told you, I have a lot of work that I have to do and while it's kinda nice to take a break from it, I'd like to return to my work in five days' time."
"Can't you do your work here?" My mother whined like a child would when they would ask their parents to buy them a toy that they really wanted while they were at the store. "You used to draw all the time when you lived here. There were many times where your eyes never once glanced up from your sketchbook until the drawing you were working on was finished."
"Mom, I'm doing much more than drawing." I resisted the urge to let out a sigh as I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm trying to open up my own art shop so that I can sell my artwork to people."
"Is that really why you moved to Ireland?" For the first time since I arrived at the place that I once called home, my mother took her eyes off the ceiling and looked at me instead. "You just open up an art shop here in Denmark. Plus, if you open it up here, I'll be able to go down there every day and see you. We could chat about all sorts of things for hours while you sold your beautiful artwork. Plus, you'd get a ton more customers here than you would ever would in Ireland because I'd tell you everyone in our family and all of my friends to come and buy some of your artwork."
I sighed, no longer feeling unsettled by the situation. Instead, I felt extremely frustrated. My mother was acting like this because she was upset about what I said to her while we were on the phone last night and about me moving to Ireland against her and seemingly everyone else's wishes. It seemed as though she still saw me as a young child who heavily relied on her care rather than a young woman who had graduated college a couple of months ago and had dreams of her own that she wanted to achieve more than anything. "I see what's going on now." I grabbed ahold of my mother's hand and looked her dead in the eyes before I began speaking again. "Mom, I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm a young woman. I understand that I'm the youngest of the family and the only one of your three daughters that you actually have contact with, but you can't hold me back forever. You're going to have to let me go and let me be a strong, independent, and successful woman living the dreams that she's had ever since she was a child. While I'll always be your daughter, I won't always be the little girl that'll turn to you to wipe the tears off of her face and soothe her after she's made yet another clumsy fall. Instead, I'll be on cloud nine and flying high and achieving my childhood dreams."
Silence filled the room as my mother processed everything that I said. After my words settled in, tears formed in her eyes and she began crying. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I thought about all of those things that you said last night and you were right. I did hold you back from so many things over the years." She gently squeezed my hand and wiped away the tears that had escaped from her eyes and began rolling down her cheeks with the other hand. "But the reason I did it was because I was so scared that you were going to end up like your sisters. I didn't want to lose you like I lost them. I was only trying to protect you. But, looking back, I should've just let you live your life. When I was your age, I did all of those things too. Your father and I actually met at a college party." She smiled as she looked over at him. "Isn't that right?"
"Yes." My father, who hadn't said a word this entire time, finally spoke up. "I remember that day like it was only yesterday." He smiled and looked over at me. "Your mother and I always used to do all sorts of things that would've landed us in trouble if we hadn't been careful enough. That's why we're both glad that you stayed out of trouble, even though you went to parties as frequently as we did."
Yeah, sure, we'll go with that even though it's far from the truth. I experienced the same luck that you and Mom had when you two went to parties.
"Wow, I didn't think you two were the party types." I laughed a bit as I decided to tease them. "I thought that you two were the "study-all-night-and-avoid-parties-at-all-cost-because-school-and-my-education-are-the-only-two-things-that-actually-matter-while-I'm-at-college" types."
My mother and my father both laughed. It took a couple of moments for them to stop laughing and for my mother to respond. "Sweetie, that's so far from the truth. Your father and I almost got kicked out of school because of how low our grades were. The threat of getting kicked out of school was the only reason we brought our grades back up."
My father laughed and walked over to my mother before pulling her into a hug. "Honey, I'm so glad that you're feeling better. I was honestly really worried about you. Please don't do that to me ever again."
"I know you were worried about me." My mother whispered as she hugged my father back and rested her head on his shoulder. "And I'm so sorry for making you worry about me. It's just... Everything came crashing down all at once and I didn't know how to handle it. Having this talk made me feel much better though."
"I'm glad to hear that." My father whispered back, a small smile on his face. My mother and I were the only people that he, on rare occasions, allowed to see his emotions and allowed to see how he was feeling at a particular moment of time. "Next time, don't have another outburst like that. If you're feeling upset, talk to either me or Signe. Talking about your feelings makes you feel so much better, you know."
You say that, yet you're a man who never allows anyone but the two people who are closest to him see anything other than that stone cold face that you wear so well.
"Yeah, you're right." My mother smiled as she broke off the hug. She briefly glanced over at me and added, "Thank you so much, both of you. I don't know what I'd do without either of you." She gave my father a kiss on the cheek before she pulled me into a hug without a single warning.
"I'm really sorry about earlier." She whispered. "I had no idea what had gotten into me, but I'm feeling much better thanks to you and your father. I'm also sorry about complaining about you staying here for five days and begging you to stay longer. I'm really glad that you're here. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm realizing that I'd be happy that you were if you were only staying for one day." She smiled brightly. "You know, you were right when you said that I was going to have to let you go and be independent. After you leave, I'm going to do just that. I'm going to let you live the life that you want to live and I won't constantly bug you to call me or to still come down and see your father and I. I'm going to let you make your own choices and trust that you're making the right ones."
A huge smile formed on my face at that moment as I tightened my grip on her. "You have no idea how much that means to me. I honestly thought that I would never hear you say that."
Maybe staying here for five days won't be bad after all.

*****

Of course, soon after my mother tells me that she's going to give me the freedom that I so desperately craved to have, my MS decides that it's going to flare up really badly and cause me to be constantly in and out of the hospital for the next month. The inability to get out of bed most days due to constant muscle spasms and frequent collapsing or unbearable pain became my reality for an entire month. I was back to taking all of the medications that I took when I had been first diagnosed with MS and my condition was as bad as it was back then.
Thankfully, it's finally starting to somewhat clear up. I can walk without feeling any pain, but I'm very prone to collapsing at any given time. Also, I have sporadic episodes of pain shooting throughout for my entire body for a few minutes if I'm sitting down for long periods of time. Not that that any of these really bother me, though. I've dealt with MS for eight years so I've experienced the extremely bad times of it and the semi-good times of it.

"Are you sure that going back to Ireland is the right thing to do?" My mother asked reluctantly as we sat together in the airport. I was really hoping that my flight back to Ireland would be the last flight that I would have to take for a little while because this was my third flight in the last couple of months and all I had done was go to Ireland and back to Denmark. But now, I'm going back to Ireland again. Plus, flights were extremely exhausting and I was more than ready to take a break from going on an airplane for a little while. "You just got out of the hospital a couple of days ago and your collapsing and episodes of extreme pain are still both extremely unpredictable."
"Mom, do you remember what you said to me the first day I was here?" I asked her. I didn't bother to wait for her to respond and instead chose to answer my own question. "You said and I quote, "I'm going to let you live the life that you want to live and I won't constantly bug you to call me or to still come down and see your father and I. I'm going to let you make your own choices and trust that you're making the right ones.""
My mother sighed and shook her head. "Why must you go and use my own words against me?"
"Honey, Signe has a point." My father put a hand on my mother's shoulder and spoke in a gentle tone. "She's not a little girl anymore. She's a grown woman who wants to become her own person and not have to rely on us all the time."
"But she's sick!" My mother protested. "Her condition is as bad as it was when she was first diagnosed!"
"That doesn't mean that she isn't capable of going to the doctor on her own and taking all of her medication when she needs to." A smile formed on my face as I listened to my father defending me. Over this past month, he's really opened himself up for the first time in over a decade and it's honestly amazing to see my father slowly turn back into the man that he was before my twin sister ran away, especially since I missed seeing him as the happy-go-lucky man that he once was. "You really need to to stick your word and trust Signe. I believe she's a very smart and independent woman who's capable of anything that she sets her mind to and I think that, deep down, you believe that too."
"I do believe that." My mother smiled as she grabbed ahold of both my father's hand and my own. She then looked me dead in the eyes as she said, "Go back to Denmark and make not only your father and I proud, but yourself as well."
I smiled back at her and nodded slightly. "I will."

*****

I returned home from Denmark to discover that, much to my overwhelming joy, it was raining. I was always someone who loved rain and as a child, I would spend rainy days looking out the window and watching as the rain poured down onto all of the neighboring houses and onto the road while listening to the soothing sound that the rain produced, which was something that, even to this day, I love so much.

After I unpacked all of my stuff and made my way out of the apartment, I pulled my sketchbook and pencil case close to my chest and began walking to Starbucks. It had been quite a while since I had sat down inside of Starbucks and drank coffee while drawing a picture. Being in and out of the hospital made it pretty much impossible for me to focus on anything other than getting better. Because of this, I've hardly drawn this past month and that makes me extremely upset. I can't even go a single day without drawing without feeling like a failure. Even if I were to only draw a tiny bit in one day, I'd still feel satisfied. Because of the horrible feeling that I get whenever I don't draw for one day, not drawing for an entire month was really taking its toll on me and making me extremely depressed. I really needed to get back to the swing of things as soon as possible.

*****

With my coffee sitting not too far from my sketchbook and a perfect view of outside from where I was sitting, I opened up my sketchbook and felt a rush of relief as I found the drawing that I was working on. I smiled as I took my pencil out of my pencil case and finally began picking up right where I left off. The satisfaction and happiness that I felt when the pencil touched the paper and my hand began moving across the paper was both overwhelming and amazing. It felt so wonderful to be able to actually sit down and draw again, especially since I had missed it so much.

"Sean?" I asked, surprised to see that the green-haired man that lived right across from me was standing with his arm leaning on the seat that was across from mine. "Is that you?"
He nodded. "Yeah, it's me. It's been a while. I think it's been a month since I've last seen you."
"Has it really been that long?" I wasn't exactly sure why I was asking him this, especially since I knew for a fact that it had indeed been an entire month since we've last seen each other.
"Yeah." He replied. He then paused for a moment. "So, if you don't mind me asking, what have you been up to for the past month?"
Oh, you know, just being stuck in my country of origin while being in and out of the hospital because of a condition that I've had since I was fourteen years old.
"I've been in Denmark." I ran a hand through my hair, which was somehow still soaked from the rain. "My family lives up there and I wanted to go see them."
Well, at least you didn't completely lie to him.
"How nice." He smiled a bit. I wished that he had completely smiled so that I could see whether or not he had a nice smile because I'm the kind of person that loves it whenever people have a really nice smile. "Did you have fun?"
"Yeah, I had a lot of fun actually." I smiled a bit as well. This time around, I wasn't lying to him. While being in and out of the hospital was absolute hell, it was nice to have the opportunity to spend time with my mother and father. I think staying in Denmark for an entire month, even though I was forced to because of MS, strengthened my relationship with both of them.
"I'm glad to hear that." His smile widened and he asked, "Hey, do you mind if I sit across from you?"
I shook my head. "Not at all."
Maybe having some company would be nice. Sean seems like he's a really nice guy and I'm really upset that I'm just now getting the chance to get to know him better when we both expressed interest in getting to know each other the first time we ever saw each other,
He continued to smile as he placed his umbrella next to the empty chair he was standing next to before he sat down across from me. His eyes immediately landed on the bouquet of roses that I had finally finished drawing a month after I actually began drawing them.
"Wow." He breathed out after a few moments of studying my drawing. "Signe, your drawing is absolutely beautiful."
"Huh? What?" I asked him as I stopped making a few minor touches to my drawing and looked up at him. I had never been told by anyone that my art was beautiful, not even by own mother and father. "No way. My drawing's not beautiful."
"Are you kidding me?" He asked as if I had just told him that it was raining cats and dogs outside. "That drawing is so good that it looks like a real bouquet of roses."
"Now I know that you're just saying things to be nice." I felt my face grow a bit hot and I hoped that I wasn't blushing, even if it was just a little bit. "You don't have to do that, you know. You can tell me the truth."
"I am telling you the truth." He looked me dead in the eyes and maintained a serious look on his face. "Signe, I can assure you that I'm not a man who lies. I am a man who only speaks the truth. Now, as a man who only speaks the truth, I'm again going to inform you that your drawing is absolutely beautiful."
I covered my cheeks as my face grew hotter, now certain that there was a blush forming on my face if there wasn't one there already. "Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me."
"It's no problem really." He grinned. "Things that are beautiful deserved to be acknowledged that they are in fact beautiful."
"Okay, you need to stop." I laughed. "You're literally turning my face into a tomato."
"I can't help it that I love art so much." He continued to grin. "I also can't help it that you're an amazing artist."
"Sean!" I laughed again as I uncovered my face, revealing that my blush had turned almost my entire face red. The only reason I knew that my face was so red and that I was blushing like crazy was because my face was super hot. "Look at what you've done! You've turned me into a human tomato."
"Well, it's not the worst thing that I've done." He chuckled. "But, in all seriousness, I admire your skill and talent a lot. I really wish that I could draw. But, alas, I'm merely someone who can barely draw stick figures."
"Well, you know..." I trailed off as I flipped to the very next page of my sketchbook, which was a blank page. "No, never mind, You'd say no anyways."
"No, there's something that you want to ask me. Go ahead and ask whatever it is that you want to ask me. You don't have to be nervous about it."
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I said to him, "If you want, I'd be willing to teach you how to draw something. Only if you want to though. You really don't have to."
Sean seemed to immediately become excited by my offer. "Really? Are you serious?"
"Yeah..." I was genuinely surprised that he was expressing interest in my offer. "I'd be honored if you could teach me how to draw something." He gave me a genuine smile.
I returned the genuine smile. "Well, in that case, come over here and we'll begin our lesson."

*****

Time flew by as I taught Sean how to draw a rose, a dog, and a few different kinds of both animals and flowers. I was surprised to discover that Sean was a very quick learner and he was picking up and utilizing the techniques I was teaching him almost to the point where it was as if he had been using them for his entire life rather than trying them out for the very first time. Also, my lesson had gone on for so long that the two of us actually ended up staying at Starbucks until it was time for it to close.
We left Starbucks and Sean opened up his umbrella once we were outside because, even though a few hours had gone by since we had arrived at Starbucks, it was still raining. I pulled my sketchbook and pencil case close to my chest once more, just like I had done earlier so that they wouldn't get soaked by the rain and my drawings wouldn't become ruined by the rain.
"Hey, you don't have to walk in the rain." Sean informed me as he looked over me, seeming like he felt bad for me. "Come over here and walk next to me. It's nice and dry underneath this umbrella."
I gave him a small smile as I shook my head. "No, that's okay. I'm perfectly fine walking in the rain."
He then proceeded to move so that he was walking next to me and so that I was underneath the umbrella. "I won't take no for an answer." He smiled.
I was about to reply when I suddenly tripped and fell face first onto the ground. Luckily for me, my sketchbook nor my pencil case hadn't gotten soaked by the rain like I feared they would be.
Suddenly, Sean began helping me up and once I had managed to get back onto my feet, he asked me, "Hey, are you okay? That was quite the fall that you just had."
"I'm okay." I whispered, though I found myself trying to convince myself that I was okay rather than I was trying to convince him. "I'm just clumsy, that's all."
That's such a shitty excuse to cover up the fact that you have MS, you know.
"Are you sure that you're okay?" Sean whispered back, stopping in his tracks when he noticed that my legs were trembling slightly. "Your legs are trembling a little bit."
I nodded. There was no way in hell that I could tell him the truth. The last thing that he needed to worry about was a girl that he's only talked to twice. "Yes, I'm okay. Sean, there's no need for you to worry about me. I'm going to be okay. Let's just go back to the apartment building. It's really late."
He reluctantly began walking again. "Listen, if you feel like you're going to fall, just grab onto my arm or something. I don't want you to fall again."
"But... Don't you feel awkward about that?" I asked extremely quietly. "I mean, this is only the second time that we're having a conservation since I was in Denmark with my family for an entire month."
Sean shook his head. "No, I don't feel awkward about it at all."
"Well, in that case..." I trailed off, my voice becoming barely audible. "Can I hold your hand again until we get back to my apartment? I keep trembling and I'm almost certain that I'll fall again. But, if you're not okay with it-"
Sean cut my sentence off by grabbing ahold of my hand. I bit my lip as I felt my arms trembling, though it was a very slight tremble. I really hoped that Sean didn't mind doing this, especially since, even though I hated admitting this to myself, I enjoyed having his hand holding mine and holding it tight as if he's known me for years rather than a month.
"Please don't let go." I whispered nervously as I stared down at my feet as I walked slowly, struggling with every step. "If you let go, I might fall again."
"You have nothing to worry about." He reassured me as he continued to support me while holding his umbrella over our heads. "I'm not going to let you go and I'm certainly not going to let you fall."

*****

When we arrived back at my apartment, Sean unlocked the door to my apartment by using the key I had given him on our way up to the third floor. Once he unlocked the door, he swung it open and placed his hand on the wall. I watched as he moved his hand around the wall until he found the light switch. After he found the light switch, he turned on the lights and he was greeted with the sight of many pieces of artwork hanging on the walls. His eyes trailed around the whole apartment as he studied every single detail carefully, to all of the artwork I had scattered around the entire apartment to the painting that I had sitting on an easel was in the very middle of my apartment. Various paints were scattered around the easel because I was currently working on a painting that I planned on selling once I finally opened up my art shop. Sean's eyes scanned over all of the sketchbooks and crumbled up paper that was all over the floor. I had forgotten that my apartment wasn't exactly in the best state to have guests over. I hadn't felt like cleaning things up when I unpacked all of my stuff so my apartment remained in the state that it was in before I left for Denmark to spend an entire month there.
"Oh, sorry about the mess." I said to Sean as I slowly closed the door behind us. "I've been having a huge surge of inspiration recently and all I've ever been wanting to do is draw."
"I don't mind the mess." Sean assured me as he continued to look around my apartment. He studied all of the wooden railings that I had scattered all over my apartment so that I had something I could use to help support myself whenever my now frequent and unpredictable collapsing happened.
I let out a sigh of relief when he assured me that he didn't mind the mess. "By the way, thank you for walking me home and letting me hold onto you so that I wouldn't fall."
"No problem." He smiled a bit. "If you ever need anyone, you can always knock on the door of the apartment that's right across from yours."
I smiled brightly as I walked over to the couch. Once I laid down, I gave him a look that said, "Did you see that? I didn't collapse!"
"I'll keep that in mind." The smile on my face grew bigger. "And the same goes for you, by the way."
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind." He gave me one last grin before he turned to face the door. "Well, I'm going to head on home now. You look like you're extremely tired."
"I'm not-" I was cut off when I let out a yawn.
"Yeah, you're not tired." Sean teased while chuckling slightly.
"Shut up." I laughed and when he briefly glanced back at me, I rolled my eyes.
"Get some rest." He laughed as well as he opened my apartment door. "You won't be able to draw anything if you're exhausted."
"You make a good point." I laughed again as I struggled to hold back a yawn. "Hey, I won't be going on another trip to Denmark for a while so is there a good chance that I'll be seeing you again really soon?"
"Oh, of course." He promised. For some reason, I felt extremely excited that he was actually interested in seeing me again. "You'll definitely be seeing me around after today."
"Good." I smiled tiredly as I took off my glasses and placed them on the coffee table. "Well, in that case, I'll see you soon, Sean."
"I'll see you soon, Signe." He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.
"Sweet dreams." He whispered to me before he closed the door behind him.

*****

The next few months passed by in a blink of an eye.

Sean and I were at the point where we were spending almost every single day together. On most days, we were at my apartment and I was giving him art lessons. As time went on, I watched Sean fall more and more in love with art. He's also come quite a long way since our very first art lesson. At first, he would try and mimic my style, which was understandable because he was just learning. But now, he was slowly starting to develop his own art style and I was happy to see that. While he still had quite a few areas that he needed to improve in, I was very happy with the progress that he was making. Also, his apartment has become cluttered with so many unfinished and scrapped drawings like mine had and he seemed to be extremely happy whenever he was drawing. It was almost as if he had discovered his true passion after years of trying to find it.
I really loved seeing him happy.

Over these past few months, my condition has slowly worsened. My collapsing is happening several times a day rather than one every couple of days or so, I'm taking enough medications to be considered old woman status rather than young woman status, and I would get muscle spasms much more frequently than I used to and when they happened, I would be unable to stand on my own without Sean supporting me. Even though he never really said anything about the whole situation, I could tell that he no longer believed that I was just clumsy and instead thought that there was something seriously wrong with me, which made me upset because I didn't want him to worry about me. After all, I wasn't exactly someone that was worth worrying about.

*****

Thinking about Sean compelled me to make my way out of my apartment and over to his. Once I reached his door, I knocked on it and eagerly waited for him to answer.
"Hi." I greeted him when he opened the door after a few moments had passed by. "How are you doing this morning?"
The smile that he had upon answering the door faded as quickly as it came and he asked me, "Signe, can I talk to you about something?"
My smile faded away as well. "Yeah, of course you can. What is it?"
"Come inside." He instructed me, not bothering to wait for my response before he turned and walked towards his couch. He sat down a moment later and I followed suit soon after.
"Sean, is there something wrong?" I asked worriedly.
"I'm really hoping not." He whispered, seeming like it was more to himself than it was to me. "But, at the same time, I'm convinced that there is, in fact, something wrong."
"Why are you mumbling?" I asked, my worry increasing.
He sighed before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Signe, I'm worried about you."
"What?" I was genuinely surprised and saddened to hear this. My worst fear came true. He really is worried about me. "Why?"
"Your frequent collapsing... It isn't normal." If he was as concerned as he sounded, he was probably losing sleep worrying about me, which is the last thing that I wanted for him. "At first, I thought you were just really clumsy. But now, I think that there's something going on and it isn't something good."
"Sean, you're worried about nothing." For some reason, I felt compelled to grab ahold of both of his hands and look him dead in the eyes. I decided to go through with it, and it wasn't just because it would help me convince him to not worry about me. "I've been dealing with frequent collapsing for just over a year now. I'm used to it now. Besides, the doctors have told me that there's nothing wrong."
It took a lot for me to keep a straight face so that the lie wouldn't be shattered. It was so obvious that I was lying. Well, it was obvious to me at least. I really hope that it wasn't obvious to Jack.

I tried to figure out how Sean was feeling based on his facial expressions. At first, he seemed to think I was lying, but his face gradually faded away from a puzzled expression to a neutral one. Since he didn't ask any further questions, I assumed that he had believed what I had told him. That, or he was following my advice and not worrying about him while still thinking I was lying to him. Either way, I felt really bad about lying to him, but at the same time, I didn't want to tell him the truth. I was so afraid that he would think of me differently if he found out that I had MS. Because of this, it was better for him to be blissfully unaware of the truth.

As Sean and I continued to sit next to each other with silence hanging over us, he looked down and noticed that I hadn't let go of his hands. I gave him a small smile and he noticed it, smiling back when he did. The next thing I knew, he closed his eyes and leaned towards me. I instinctively closed my eyes and eagerly anticipated the moment where his lips would meet mine. When that moment came after what felt like an eternity, my heart began pounding in my chest so loudly that the sound of it drowned out all other sounds and it was the only thing I could hear. In fact, it was so loud that I was surprised that Sean didn't seem like he heard it.
A few moments later, Sean pulled away from me to draw in a breath. As he took a deep breath, I took a deep breath as well and afterwards, our breathing became perfectly in sync.
"Well, that was something." I laughed, knowing that I was blushing since my face felt hot.
"Yeah, it was." Sean agreed. I then noticed that he was blushing as well.
I laughed again before I stood up. "Come on, let's go create some art."
I smiled as he stood up extremely quickly when I had finished my sentence. While it was true that I loved creating art, I loved creating art the best when I was creating it with Sean McLoughlin.
Time slowed down as I suddenly collapsed while walking towards Sean's easel. I resisted the urge to scream out in pain as my head hit the floor with extreme force. Darkness filled my vision as the immense pain prevented me from keeping my eyes open.
Suddenly, I felt Sean helping me up and he tensed up almost as soon as his arms wrapped around me.
He saw the blood. I just know it.
I focused on breathing as Sean laid me down. I began panicking slightly when he let go of me, but the panic went away as quickly as it came when I heard him dialing 911 and talking to the operator, explaining what had just happened.

That was the day that marked yet another spiral downward.
That was the day where, yet again, my life began to revolve around taking countless medications and being in and out of the hospital constantly.
I would always insist that there was nothing wrong with me whenever Sean got more worried about me than he usually did.
But I knew that he knew better than that.
I knew that he knew that there was something seriously wrong with me.
He was watching me deteriorate right before his very eyes.
No matter what I said, I couldn't convince him to stop worrying about me.
No matter what I said, he seemed hellbent to do everything in his power to make me better again.
Just by looking into his eyes, I could tell that he hated seeing me like this.
Hell, I hated him seeing me like this.
I was really hoping that I would end up getting better rather than even worse.

*****

Much to my dismay, I ended up spending Valentine's Day in the hospital.
I hoped for a miracle, but I didn't get one.
I was wrong to hope for one though.
I'm currently in the worst state that I've been in in my entire life. I constantly feel pain almost throughout my body, a pain so intense that I could hardly move a muscle without being nearly driven to tears from how unbearable the pain was. Also, my absolute worst nightmare came true.
I became paralysed.
It happened sometime during the previous night because I woke up unable to feel anything below my waist. The doctors confirmed that I had been paralyzed when they came in to do my morning check-up. They also confirmed that it was permanent.
The first thing I thought to myself when I received this horrible news was, "How the hell am I going to tell Sean? He's going to be absolutely devastated when he finds out."

Along with giving me the devastating news that I would be paralyzed for the rest of my life, the doctors also told me that I may start having epileptic seizures. They then told me that if the epileptic seizures were to happen, then I would have to have emergency surgery so that they could try and lessen the severity of the condition.
And because I have the greatest luck in the world (And by that, I mean I quite possibly have the worst luck ever), I had an epileptic seizure a few hours after the doctors informed me that I would need to have surgery if I ended up having one.
Thankfully, Sean wasn't around to see the seizure. If he had been here during it, he probably would've had a panic attack.
But, then again, it would've been so comforting to actually have him here with me while it was happening, especially since it was so terrifying.

Normally, people would be so nervous going into surgery.
As for me, I was excited.
By the time I was out of surgery and by the time the anesthesia wore off, Sean would be here since he promised me that he would come and visit me.
While I was excited and eagerly anticipating his visit, I was also nervous and terrified.
Over these past couple of months of countless medications, constantly having to be in and out of the hospital, and struggling to find time to finalize my plans of opening up my art shop, I've realized something.
I'm in love with Sean McLoughlin.
I loved everything about him, from his piercing blue eyes to the tiny crinkle in his eyes that he had whenever he smiled. I even loved his flaws because he somehow managed to make his flaws seem perfect. Plus, I've never felt such a deep emotional connection like I've felt with Sean. Even though it hasn't even been a year since we've known each other, I've felt like I've known him for my entire life.
When I got out of surgery and when the anesthesia wore off, I was going to tell him how I felt about him. Even if he didn't have the same feelings for me that I had for him, I still wanted him to know how much he meant to me and how much I cared about him.
And if things went well with the whole confessing my feelings to him thing, I was going to ask him if he wanted to be my boyfriend.
Since it was Valentine's Day, I figured that this would be the perfect time to tell Sean about my feelings. Plus, if I didn't do it while I had this sudden burst of courage, I more than likely would never do it.

"Are you ready?" One of the doctors asked me after he had finished preparing the anesthesia.
I nodded. "Let's get this done and over with."
The doctor chuckled. "I've never heard that from a patient before and I've been working this job for almost twenty years now."
I laughed. "Well, I'll wake up to find someone who means a lot to me visiting me so, because of that, I would like to get this surgery over and done with as quickly as possible."
"I like your attitude." The doctor grinned. "I can promise you that you'll be awake and seeing your special someone before you know it."
"Awesome." I grinned back at him.

As I felt the anesthetic begin to put me to sleep, my heart began racing as I thought about how the first thing I would see when I woke up after my surgery was Sean sitting in my room and waiting for me to wake up.
I couldn't wait to see him.
I couldn't wait to tell him that I loved him.
I couldn't wait to possibly feel his lips against mine like I had the day where I had collapsed and hit the floor so hard that I began bleeding.
I couldn't wait to possibly feel his fingers interlaced with mine and to possibly feel the tight grip that he had on my hand the night we had walked home from Starbucks while it was raining.
Suddenly, all of the memories Sean and I flashed right before my eyes and once I had seen them all, I realized that I couldn't wait to make more memories with him.
"Wait for me, Sean." I whispered in my clouded state. The anesthetic had almost taken full effect on me. "Because I'll be eagerly waiting to see you after I wake up from my surgery."