When I reached his house, Jesse came to meet me. He had a thin white tee shirt and jeans on.

"Please tell me what's going on."

"He's coming to get me." I sobbed.

"Who?"

"My stepfather. He's a terrible person. He used to..." I couldn't say it.

A few minutes later, we were driving in silence. Both my little leather suitcase ad his old duffel bag were tossed in the backseat.

"Is that why you're in foster care?" He asked hesitantly. I nodded.

"He abused me in every way, verbally, physically, emotionally. He'd rape me all the time. My mom, she loved me, but just like your mom, she was too afraid and weak to stop it.

"The last night at my house was when I forgot to make dinner. He went crazy. Screaming, yelling, throwing things. He broke a bottle over my head. The neighbors called, and that was it. When the police were outsider he came over to me and said, really quiet, 'you're mine. You got that? Wherever you go, I will come back to find you. Anywhere.'"

"That's awful."

A pause hug obviously in the air. "Where are we going?"

He looked over mischievously. "I'm not going to kidnap you." He grabbed my hand as he drove.

We ended up at a motel. I looked at him. "You want to lay low, right?"

After checking in, we went to our room. The usual cheap, dirty furniture that motels have. Jesse turned on the t.v. and an old MTV show came on. We sat on the bed, drinking from his old flask, and not talking much. It was a weirdly comfortable silence.

He eventually placed his palm on my leg. I turned to him, and we started kissing. The fact that we were on a bed made things very... real. I closed my eyes, trying to feel like I did in the old abandoned house. All I saw were his eyes. So unique, so memorable.

Shh, Lana.

He was the last one to touch me.

Jesse's hand slid up my leg, higher and higher.

Not again.

I wasn't controlling my body. I closed my eyes, and suddenly Jesse was on the floor.

He lifted his head.

A cut lip, rapidly blackening eye, and cuts all over him.

"What the fuck?" He spit, blood dripping from his nose.

I sat there, still. My knuckles were bleeding. My nails had blood under them.

Jesse stood slowly.

"What was that? What did I do?" His voice disgusted and angry. I flinched.

"Whatever." He grabbed his bag and walked out of the room.

I sat on the bed. The only light came from the t.v. I felt like my muscles were stuck. Suddenly, I felt tear pouring out of my eyes.

Alessandra. I really messed things up.

I'm coming for a visit.

I shuffled through my bag. My pills.

I poured a handful. Slowly, shaking with tears, I swallowed each one.