#BWBSIMULA

"Tara na guys, baka mahuli tayo ni ma'am."

"Shh, wag kayo maingay."

"Huy, Janice, ikaw ang look out namin. Tignan mo kung may dumadaan na teacher o principal."

I took the bottle from my friend, Camilla. "Last shot na, wait lang." I hurriedly poured the alcohol on my glass and drank it straight. The liquid felt sharp on my throat. Napapikit ako sa sarap.

God, this is so addicting! I might want to finish this bottle!

"Enough, Tori. Baka masyado ka nang malasing. May klase pa tayo mamayang hapon," awat niya at akmang kukunin ang bote sa'kin pero nilayo ko

"Painom pa nga," said Kristen beside me and I watch her drank from the bottle itself

I chuckled. "Relax girls. I told you, mataas alcohol tolerance ko."

Janice looked at us with a panic and worried expression. "Let's just drink at home, okay? Itago niyo na 'yan."

"Who even come up with the idea to drink here at school?" asked Jolene

"It's Tori's fault." They all pointed at me

I scoffed. "I didn't force you guys to drink with me. Besides, si Kristen yung nagdala ng alak dito. Siya yung nag-yaya. Syempre pumayag ako. This bottle is not going to drink itself. Gusto niyo rin naman."

They let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes! But not here. We'll surely get in trouble if we get caught."

"Diretso principal's office tayo," Jolene commented

"And we're still minors drinking in school! Double violation."

"Remember, we all agreed to take one sip. Halos maubos niyo na yung alak!"

"Shh!"

I smirked. "Nasa likod naman tayo ng school. Walang makakakita."

We then heard footsteps approaching from a distance. We panicked. Our eyes widened in shock. Bigla kaming natahimik at nagkatinginan kaming lahat. We then looked at the Tanduay bottle that Kristen was holding.

"Shoot! Janice, I told you to-"

But it was too late 'cause we saw our teacher appeared in front of us. Her tall frame towered over us. Sabay-sabay naming inangat ang paningin sa kanya. I swallowed hard, feeling my throat had gone dry but at the same time, there's still alcohol left in my tongue.

"Girls. What are you-" she gasped and her eyes widened in shock when she saw the alcohol drink we're holding. "Tama ba ang nakikita ko? Bote ba 'yan ng alak?! And you girls are drinking it?"

The five of us exchange looks. Bakas ang nerbyos sa mga mata namin. I tried my best to remain calm even if we're already busted. Sinubukan ko rin mag-isip ng palusot.

"I, uh, ma'am. It's n-not what you think po. We were just-"

"Si Kristen po may ari nung alak," Camilla interrupted me and pointed at our friend

Her lips parted. Napakurap-kurap siya habang nakatingin sa'min. "You are all drinking it!"

Right, hindi pwedeng hindi kami maglaglagan.

"I didn't drink!" Janice defended

"Damay ka pa rin gaga," si Jolene

Our teacher gasped upon hearing those foul words from us.

"Jolene. Language," I hissed while looking at her sharply

Bigla kaming nilapitan ng teacher namin at isa isa kaming inobserbahan. She immediately grabbed the bottle from Kristen. She then smelled our mouths. Tinikom ko naman ang bibig ko.

"I can't believe your drinking this. You girls are just highschool students. 16 and 17 years old. Hindi pa kayo pwede rito. Talagang humanap pa kayo ng spot sa school para rito?!" her voice raised. She showed us the bottle while pointing at the five of us

We startled by the abrupt change of her tone. Our heads were low, feeling guilty. We couldn't look at her in the eye. She looked like our evil stepmom who caught us sisters breaking one of her strict rules.

Deep down, I was trying not to laugh at our situation. Must be the alcohol. At the same time, I was pissed because she caught us. I'm fucking mad too.

"Bakit kayo nag-dala nito? Alam niyong bawal ito sa school 'di ba? Dapat nasa classroom na kayo e, eto pala ang pinagkakaabalahan niyo. Kailangan niyo pa ginagawa ito?"

Masarap ang bawal.

I smiled at the thought.

"Victoria."

Bigla kong inangat ang paningin sa kanya. I didn't notice she was standing in front of me. Magkasalubong ang kilay niya habang nakatingin sa'kin. I was fighting the urge not to roll my eyes at her. I acted sweet on the outside but on the inside, I was cursing at her.

"Po?"

"Kailan pa kayo nag-iinom?"

My lips parted. I glanced at my friends for help but they just simply look away.

Those bitches.

"I think you don't necessarily need to know that since it's our privacy."

Tumingin ulit ako sa kanila at halatang nagpipigil sila ng tawa. The two of them seemed stressed by my dumb answer. Napa-face palm nalang sila. I bit my tongue hard to suppress my laughter.

"P-privacy?!" our teacher said unbelievably. "Well then, the five of you. Let's all talk in private in my office, right now. Ipapatawag ko ang mga magulang niyo. I won't let this pass."

Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig pagkasabi niya no'n. She looked at us in disappointment. She shook her head and sighed in frustration. "How disappointing. Ang babata niyo pa, ganito na agad inaatupag niyo imbis na mag-aral." She then turned her back on us and walked away. My friends followed her.

"Nice job Vicky," said Jolene with a hint of sarcasm

I even felt more irritated when she called me by that ugly nickname of mine. "You didn't even help me back there."

"It's okay Tori. We're all in this together," Kristen went beside me and put her arms over my shoulder

"Can you guys even think of a better palusot. Wala rin naman."

"Sabi ko kasi sa inyo umalis na tayo e," Janice sighed and scratched her head

"It's your fault Janice. Hindi mo kami binantayan," Camilla scolded her

"Lagot ako nito kay mama."

Jolene sighed. "I knew this was coming. Puta, pano na tayo?" she whispered

Mahina ko siyang siniko dahil baka marinig ulit kami ng teacher namin ngayong nasa harapan lang namin siya naglalakad. We distinctively walked slower and we just watch her get farther away from us.

I chuckled while listening to their conversations. They all looked stressed out.

"This is not the time to laugh Tori. This is not a joke."

"This is my angry face Camilla," I smiled sarcastically. "I'm screaming on the inside. Sa tingin niyo, kayo lang pagagalitan? Pare-parehas lang tayo rito."

"Lesson learned. Sa bahay nalang tayo dapat uminom," Kristen suggested with a huge smile on her lips

"Wow, galing mo dun. Mas lalong hindi pwede gaga, andun mga magulang natin," si Jolene

"Sa bar dapat," I said. "Doon naman talaga dapat umiinom."

"Yeah but we're still minors. We can't yet go to the bar stupid."

"Not unless we have fake I.D.'s," I smirked

Kristen groaned. "Ugh! I really hate this. Naiinis ako kay Ms. Ruiz kasi nahuli niya tayo. Pakielamera siya. Bwiset."

"True. She's so strict."

"Lagi niyang binabantayan mga estudyante feeling principal."

"I hate it here. I can't wait to graduate highschool and turn eighteen," I said impatiently. Nauna na akong maglakad sa kanila at iniwan sila.

Maybe when I turn eighteen, my life will be better. Ang dami ko nang pwedeng gawin. I can drink, party, have sex, have boyfriends, pwede na rin akong makulong. If only I can move out to like what teenagers do in America when they turn legal age but sucks I can't since I'm Asian. I don't know how long I'll be living in my parent's house.

When I became an adult? When I have work? Fuck. Ang advance ko na agad mag-isip. I'm only seventeen. This is why I must work hard. I love expensive shit. I want to be rich and famous. Maybe I'll just find a sugar daddy or marry a rich bachelor to sustain all my expenses.

"Tinawagan kami ng teacher mo Victoria. Sinabi sa'min na nahuli raw kayong magkakaibigan na umiinom ng alak sa likod ng school?!" she said, outrage. "Anong klaseng---minor de edad ka palang, manginginom ka na. Pangarap mo maging lasinggera?"

I remained silent while sitting on the sofa while my mom is standing in front of me and scolding me. Wala akong naging reaksiyon dahil ineexpect ko naman na mangyayari ito.

"Sa tingin mo, tama yung ginawa mo? Nilihim mo sa'min na umiinom ka pala."

Tipid akong ngumiti. "Chill ma, hindi naman kami na-lasing. Tinikman lang namin."

She's overreacting like she always do. It's not a big deal anyway. Sa aming magkakapatid, madalas ako ang pinapagalitan niya. I hate that she's so strict.

She let out an exasperated sigh. "Ewan ko ba sa'yo Victoria. Malapit na kitang palayasin dito."

Great. I'd love that. Gusto ko na ring mag-layas dito.

Life is like sex. It always fucks me up.

When I turned eighteen, I got my first heartbreak.

"You fucking cheater! I'm breaking up with you! Tapos na tayo!" I shouted as tears threaten to fall from my eyes

He went closer to me, trying to reach for my hands. "No. Baby. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. Give me another chance. I love you," he pleaded

I shook my head and pushed him away. "Fuck you Justin! Pare-parehas lang kayo, mga manloloko. I'm done with your stupid games. I hate you!"

"Victoria-"

I ignored him and quickly fix my things. I immediately wiped these stupid tears off my face. I turned around and showed him my middle finger. And before he could get to me again, I stormed out of his condo unit and slammed the door shut. Dire-diretso lang ang lakad ko. Some of my things in my bag fell on the floor.

"Fuck," I said and quickly picked them up. I saw the necklace that he gave me as a birthday gift. I stood up and threw it on the trashcan.

While on my way out, I fixed my tube top and my camaou flauge bomber jacket. I suddenly heard the heavy rain outside the building. Mas lalo iyong lumakas pagkalabas ko. It's already late at night, maybe around 1am in the morning.

"Putang ina. Malas!" I yelled and no one could hear me since the rain was pouring heavily. I got even more frustrated because I didn't have an umbrella with me so I used my bag instead to cover my head.

Tumingin ako sa kaliwa't kanan. Wala masyadong kotseng dumadaan. I waved my hand to call for a jeep or a taxi but they were just passing by me. Madami ring pasahero. My vision started to blur so were the front lights of the cars passing by. My bag was completely useless 'cause I already feel myself getting soaked in the rain. Tumulo ang tubig sa noo ko pababa sa pisngi ko. I can even taste the saltiness of it aside from the bitterness of my broken heart.

I immediately took my phone out of my pocket. I wanted to call mom or dad to pick me mom but then I realized, tumakas lang pala ako sa bahay para puntahan ang boyfriend ko. Hindi ako nagpaalam. I'm sure they'll kill me once they find out about this and I'm not in the mood for their scolding session. I decided to call my friends instead. I don't care if I'll disturb them. It was hard for me to find their contacts cause my fingers were wet. And all of a sudden, my phone fucking died!

"What the fuck? Not now! Ugh! Damn it!" I groaned and stomped my foot on the ground. I press hard on the button to turn it on but it wouldn't even light up. Just great!

I looked back at the front and in that moment, a car speedily drove fast passed by me and my lower body got splattered by the water coming from the puddle of rain beneath my shoes. Napaatras ako at napamura ng malutong. I scoffed. My jaw dropped when I saw my brand new white sneakers are now covered in dirt and mud.

With that, I slowly closed my eyes and looked up at the dark, grumbling sky. Dinama ko ang bawat patak ng ulan na bumagsak sa mukha ko.

I chuckled while trying my best to stay sane even if I'm already acting crazy. I just let myself feel the rain even just for a few minutes. My body turned cold and numb. I shivered by the cold breeze that touched my skin. My heart continued to weep just like how the heavy and dark clouds showered me with rain.

I didn't care if I get sick. I actually want to get sick...so that I could feel heat. I could feel the warmth of my body. I could hurt so...good.

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako papunta pero diretso lang ang lakad ko. I'm already soaking wet and my clothes became too heavy which made me feel uncomfortable. Unti-unti namang humuna ang ulan. I stopped when I saw a 7/11 store in front of me. The huge green sign kind of dazzled me a bit. Doon ako sumilong. I saw some umbrellas inside a rack near the door.

As soon as I got inside, the cashier guy suddenly looked at me with wide-eyed. He looked like he's seen a ghost or something. I rolled my eyes and ignored him. I felt his eyes followed me. I noticed there was no other customers inside, just me. Mas lalo akong gininaw dahil sa lakas ng aircon dito. My teeth were chattering. Tumaas ang balahibo ko. I then covered myself up with my jacket and hugged myself tightly to warm myself.

Tumulo ang tubig sa sahig na galing sa damit ko. I looked at the cashier guy and he noticed it too.

I gulped and looked away. I checked my wallet from my bag at pamasahe nalang ang meron ako pauwi. I'm broke.

Fuck. Gusto kong uminom ng alak. I want to get drunk and wasted. Nakatingin lang ako sa mg alak na nasa ref sa harapan ko. Then I heard the bell from the door. Someone entered inside.

"Goodevening po Sir," the cashier guy greeted

I simply looked over my shoulder to check that one customer. I then opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of San Miguel beer. I hid it inside my jacket. Tumingin ako sa paligid at nakitang nasa cashier na agad yung customer. The cashier was busy punching the items. Sa likod ako ng aisle dumaan para hindi nila ako makita. I was almost near the exit but then I stopped when I passed the section of sanitary napkins. Mabilis akong kumuha ng isa at tinago sa bag ko. Pagkatapos ay dire-diretso na akong lumabas ng store.

It was still raining. I looked at the rack filled with three umbrellas. I also took one of it and used it to get to the other side of the road. Sakto ay may jeep na dumaan kaya agad akong sumakay. I sighed in relief when I can finally go home.

But I really wasn't happy about the idea of going home.

When I closed my eyes, I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks.

"Saan ka nanaman galing Victoria?" bungad sa'kin ni mama pagkauwi ko. She gasped when she saw my state. "Jusko, anong nangyari sa'yo? Bakit basang basa ka ng ulan?!"

I stepped inside and removed my wet shoes. Then I walked passed her. "Bakit gising ka pa, ma?" my voice happened to sound weak

"Malamang ay hindi ako makatulog kahihintay sa'yo. Mag-aalas dos na ng umaga, wala ka pa rin sa bahay. Saan ka nanaman ba nanggaling? Uminom ka ba?"

"Pahinga na ako ma. Pagod ako," sabi ko at umakyat na sa taas

"Ni hindi mo pa nga sinasagot ang tanong ko. Bumaba ka rito!" she shouted from the staircase

Napapakit ako sa inis. My grip tightened on the railings. "We can talk tomorrow mom. Everyone is asleep. Nakakaistorbo tayo."

Tuluyan na akong dumiretso sa kwarto ko pero narinig ko pa rin siyang tinawag ako. I gently closed the door of my room and just like that, tears automatically fell from my eyes. Biglang nanikip ang dibdib ko. I shut my eyes, clutching my chest to ease the pain in my heart.

I hated crying. I hated feeling too emotional and being vulnerable.

My stupid crying session only lasted for five minutes before I found myself sitting in the floor of my room, my back against my bed while drinking the beer I stole from the store. I've already changed clothes but my hair remained damp. I was staring blankly at the wall. It was dark and cold.

Perfect time to drink and smoke.

I lifted the foam of my bed and searched for the cigarette and lighter. I put the cigarette between my lips and lit it up. My head already hurts like hell and I've only consumed one bottle.

I sighed. "Should have stole two."

Then I took my phone that was charging on the floor. I unplugged it. Binuksan ko iyon. It's already 3 fucking am. The wallpaper was my dad and I. In the picture, I was happy. I didn't know my exact age there. Maybe seven?

It's been...

I started to count the years in my fingers.

Fuck.

How many years have passed since he left us?

My phone lit up again. I received a message from my older sister who's in abroad.

I smiled weakly.

Isa pa siyang iniwan ako.

Then another message popped up.

From my fucking ex this time.

Puta. Ang dami pala nilang nang-iwan sa'kin.

I tossed my phone on my bed and puffed my cigarette, feeling my lungs slowly burning. It felt good. I feel better.

It's always been easy for me to fall in love but when I fall, I fall hard and in the end, ako yung laging sira.

Why do I always love too much? Hindi ako nag-titira para sa sarili ko. Maybe I always expect people to treat me the same too.

Am I really hard to love?

Maybe this so called love just became a distraction, an escape for me for my fucked up life but in the end, I'd feel much more worse.

Maybe I don't need love.

That emotion is too powerful. It can either save or destroy me but most of the time, it's the latter.

At least ang alak ay hindi ako iiwan.

I took one last puff of the cigarette before dropping it inside my bottle of beer. I closed my eyes and laid my head on my bed while holding the bottle. My eyelids turned heavy and it was not long until I fell asleep.

"Victoria!"

I woke up by the sound of the loud knocking outside my door together with my mother's voice. Napadilat ako sa gulat. I looked at my surroundings and I sighed in relief when I'm inside my room. My head still hurts like a bitch. I didn't know why I was on the floor and why I'm holding a bottle of---fuck, I vaguely remember what happened yesterday.

"Victoria! Ano ba? Kanina pa kita tinatawag. Gumising ka na!"

My brows furrowed. "W-what? I.." I immediately searched for my phone on top of my bed. I checked the time and it's only just 8am. Still too fucking early for me.

Why would she wake me up at this hour? Wala naman akong pasok dahil bakasyon. I wanted to sleep for the whole day. May hang-over pa ako.

"Victoria! Naka-lock nanaman itong pinto mo. Ano ka ba naman. Baka nakakalimutan mo, may college entrance exam ka pa ngayon. Late ka na!"

My eyes widened in shock upon hearing her words. I immediately checked my phone and I have a schedule on my calendar that says, DCAT. Today is the last day of my college entrance exam!

I swallowed hard. Nanlamig bigla ang katawan ko. "Shit!"

"Victoria. Naririnig mo ba ako?!"

I looked at my door. "Yeah mom! G-gising na ko."

"Nakapag-ayos ka na ba?"

"N-no! I mean, maliligo palang," I replied and quickly stood up from the floor. My legs feel numb. I couldn't feel my butt. Agad kong kinuha ang twalya ko at dumiretso sa CR.

"Bilisan mo na diyan!"

It only took me five minutes to take a bath. Dumiretso ako sa cabinet at mabilis na naghanap ng damit. I threw all my clothes out as I try to find the right outfit.

"Fuck it!" I exclaimed. I just grabbed a pair of baggy jeans and white top.

Pagkabihis ko ay pinatuyo ko ang buhok ko sa electric fan dahil wala na akong oras para mag-blower pa. I then looked at myself in front of the mirror. My face looks puffy. My skin felt dry. My lips were cracked too. I wanted to apply make-up but I didn't have the time. I just put on lipbalm and perfume. I also tied my hair into a highponytail.

Naiinis ako dahil hindi ako nakapag-ayos ng maayos. This is the first time I'll go out looking like shit!

I grabbed my Chanel backpack behind the door and put my phone, wallet, and I.D. inside. The good thing was that I already prepared the requirements I need. Pagkatapos ay lumabas na ako ng kwarto.

"Naku naman Victoria. Anong oras na. Late ka na," saway ni mama sa'kin pagkababa ko. I saw my younger brother, Adam, eating breakfast on the dining area. "Kumain ka muna dito."

I shook my head. "Late na ako ma. Alis na ako, bye!" dali-dali kong sinuot ang sapatos ko.

"Hindi ka aalis nang hindi nag-aalmusal. Ano nalang isasagot mo sa exam? Walang laman ang tiyan at utak mo. Paano ka papasa niyan? Alam kong nag-inom ka nanaman kagabi. Umuwi ka nanamang lasing. Yan na nga ba sinasabi ko sa'yo e. Inuna mo pa 'yang pag-iinom," she sighed in frustration

I was fighting the urge not to roll my eyes on her. I just got annoyed by her voice. Umagang-umaga ang ingay niya. She wasn't helping at all. I just feel more pressured, stressed, and worried about my exam.

"Nag-aral ka ba?"

"Yeah. Just wish me luck everyone!" I forced a smile

"Goodluck Ate!" Adam said

Then Scott suddenly appeared in the dining room. "Oh, Victoria. Aalis ka na? Hatid na kita."

"Uh, no thanks Scott, I mean, dad. Commute nalang ako," I replied quickly and drank a full glass of water to sober me up. I also took one slice of toast bread before heading out of the house. "Adios!"

Habang nasa jeep ay panay ang tingin ko sa phone ko. It's already 8:40am and the exam starts at 8:45! Fuck. I am super late. I don't think I can make it. Napasabunot nalang ako sa buhok ko.

"Gaga ka kasi Victoria! You just broke up with your boyfriend, uminom ka pa kagabi at nalasing. And right now, you're about to miss your entrance exam in your dream school. You bitch," bulong ko sa sarili

Since I'm in the verge of mental breakdown, I decided to apply make-up to calm my nerves and stress. I fixed my brows and curled my lashes carefully. My hands were shaking a bit. The jeep was moving too fast. Muntikan pang lumagpas ang mascara ko!

"Miss bayad. Paabot naman," said the man beside me. Napapikit ako sa inis. "Miss bayad-"

"Teka lang kuya," inis kong sabi at agad na inabot ang bayad sa driver. Bumalik ulit ako sa pag-aayos sa sarili. I carefully applied nude pink lipstick on my lips.

"Excuse me miss. Yung buhok niyo po."

Tumingin ako sa katabi ko. My long black hair was hitting his face by the strong wind. I covered my mouth in shame. I gathered all my hair and put it on my side. Umayos na ako ng upo. Halos kalahati lang ng pwet ko ang sakop sa upuan. On the other note, good thing I didn't wore make-up since it's scorching hot outside. Mas lalo akong mag-mumukhang haggard.

"Shit naman. Late na ako," I whined when we're stuck in traffic. I looked at my phone and it's already 9am. Sigurado akong nag-start na sila.

Tumungo ako at bumuntong hininga. I crossed my fingers, hoping I'll still make it.

"Pasensiya na ma'am. Masyado na po kayong late. Kanina pa po sila nag-simula," sabi sa'kin ng guard

"Kuya. Baka naman pwede pa akong sumingit. Dream school ko ito. Future La Sallian! D..L..S...U. Animo La Salle," I cheered while doing the letters in my hand. "I'm also a volleyball player and it's my dream to be a lady spiker."

Napakurap-kurap siya habang nakatingin sa'kin, hindi malaman ang gagawin. I must look stupid in front of him. "Uh, ma'am. Pasensiya na po pero-"

I looked at the huge building behind him. Tirik ang sikat ng araw. I fanned myself using my hands and stomped my feet dahil sa inis. "Ugh! Wala bang reconsideration para sa'ming late?"

He scratched his head in annoyance. I felt like he already wanted to shoo me away. "Eh kasalanan niyo naman ma'am eh. Alam niyong last day na ngayon tapos na-late pa kayo."

"Kakabreak lang namin ng jowa ko kaya nag-lasing ako kagabi-" I paused when I realized I shared too much. I pressed my lips and smiled. "Oops! TMI."

His brows furrowed, weirded out by me. Napailing nalang siya at bumalik sa trabaho niya.

Kung luluhod ba ako rito, papayagan niya ako? Will the gates of La Salle open for me? God, Tori! I look so fucking desperate! Stop being so dramatic. H'wag kang mag-inarte diyan. Kasalanan mo, gaga ka!

I clenched my fist and held head high. For some reason, my eyes started to sweat. I was not crying! It was just the weather is too hot and the sweat coming from my forehead began to fall from my eyes.

Fuck. I can't believe I missed my college entrance exam in La Salle!

Sira na ang pangarap ko-

"Hoy, miss! H'wag kang mag-inarte diyan. Hindi ka kasing galing ni Bea Alonzo sa pag-arte," sabat ni Kuya guard

My jaw dropped by his rude comment. Natamaan ako doon. I scoffed and folded my arms over my chest. "Excuse me? Baka nga mas mataas pa ang sweldo ko kung ang role ko ay guard lang ni Bea Alonzo sa bago niyang teleserye kaysa sa'yo!"

Instead of expecting rebuttal from him, he looked around and called someone from a distance. After a while, I suddenly felt someone grabbed both of my arms and started pulling me away from the school's entrance. I only realized now that they were actually two guards.

"Hey, get off me! Mag-eentrance exam pa ako!" I whined as I try to get my hands off their grip but they ignored me

"Kailangan niyo na pong umalis ma'am."

I looked at the both of them in shock. "No! I still h-have to-" I paused as I try to catch my breath. They're too strong and muscular compared to my small frame. In the end, I still continued to walk properly and stay in class cause I didn't want my expensive shoes to scrape on the dirty, hard ground

They finally released me once we made it outside the school building. Muntikan pa akong sumubsob.

"Arte, arte. Hindi naman maganda," sabi ng isa bago ako talikuran. They already closed the gate and left me. Nanatili pa rin ako sa tapat ng gate, nagmamatigas.

I sighed in frustration.

If only I can break through this fucking gate but this is a strong and huge barrier.

Maybe it closed for a reason. Maybe it was not for me. As one door closes, a new one will open with better opportunities. May it be the gates of hell or heaven, I will break through either way.

"Pag ako nanalo ng Oscar for best actress, who you kayong lahat sa'kin! Mark my words! I-shout out ko pa kayo sa speech ko! You hear me?! I will become famous!" I shouted with diction and raised my middle singer high at the tall building

It may seem like I was only blabbering nonsense shit but for me it felt like a solemn oath engraved in my heart for the future me...

Or maybe it's the alcohol in my system and my mind is fucked up that I tend to twist my words as an excuse for my hostile behavior.

My throat is quenching with thirst of alcohol. In dire need of another drink to sober me up, so I hurriedly fixed myself and walked away before I pass out due to my drunken state, not to mention the scorching heat of the sun.

I don't want to die in front of the La Salle building! That would be humiliating and it would bruise my ego. But on the bright side, that's where I declared my heartfelt oath. I'd die with pride!

A small smile of delight formed in my lips as I watch burn the building behind me with the blistering fire inside my heart as I enter the gates of hell.