#BWB20

After the pageant, there are a lot of people who approached me and congratulated me.

"Congratulations Victoria! Number one fan niyo po ako," sabi ng isang fanboy

I smiled. "Thank you."

"Pwede bang humingi ng autograph," sabi niya at biglang tumalikod. "Pa-sign po yung t-shirt ko."

My lips parted. "Ayos ka din kuya ah," I chuckled. He gave me a marker and I quickly signed his shirt.

He then turned around to face me again and ask for a picture. I agreed. Lumapit siya sa'kin at sabay kaming ngumiti sa camera.

"Thank you po ulit!" sabi niya at nagpaalam na din

Marami pang tao ang nagpapicture at nagpa-autograph sa'kin. Kahit na pagod ay sinubukan kong isa isang makapagpicture sa kanila. They keep on showering me with compliments and I always return a genuine smile to show my gratitude. I didn't expect that a lot of my fans will come and watch me. There were kids, teens, and young adults. Lahat sila ay masayang makita ako.

"Thank you. Thank you for supporting me," I said and waved my hands to them. Tumili sila at sinigaw ang pangalan ko. I couldn't even hear my own voice because of their loud cheers.

I blew a kiss to them and smiled widely. "Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I love you! Let's meet again soon."

Umalis na din ako sa harapan nila dahil masyado silang dumadami at nagkakagulo na din silang lapitan ako. The security immediately assisted them. Humarang sila sa mga tao. Kahit na nakalayo ay rinig ko pa din ang mga tili nila.

This is the first time that I felt famous. Not to sound too narcistic but I've never felt this huge amount of support. I always talk to my fans via online. Seeing them in person and talking to them feels more real. Mas ramdam ko yung pagmamahal nila sa'kin. The way they shout my name, their genuine smiles, everything. I can feel them physically and emotionally. I'm so overwhelmed.

Habang naglalakad ay napahinto ako pagkakita kay Ross. He's standing a few inches away from me. He's wearing a black shirt, with a white denim jacket, a black leather pants partnered with a Nike Air Jordan. He's also wearing a black snapback cap. I noticed he's holding a bouquet of flowers. He smiled and walked towards me.

"Hi!" he greeted cheerfully

I only gave him a small smile. "Hey."

He looked at me from head to foot. I looked at my outfit. I'm wearing a short floral dress with puffed sleeves partnered with my heels that has a lot of straps. I'm still wearing my sash. I'm holding the trophy and on the other hand is a paper bag, inside is my slippers.

"You look so damn beautiful Tori. Wow.." his eyes sparkled in astonishment while looking at me

"Thanks."

He cleared his throat and stared at the flowers in his hand. "Uh, pinapabigay pala ni Jared," sabi niya sabay abot sa'kin

Tinitigan ko iyon ng ilang segundo bago kunin sa kanya. It was a bouquet of roses. "Where is he? Bakit ikaw yung nandito?" I said and looked at him with a blank expression

His lips parted. "Ahh. Nagtraining pa sila. Nag-extend kasi malapit na game namin."

"O? Bakit ikaw hindi ka nagtraining? Paano mo nalaman na may pageant ako? Bakit ikaw lang yung pumunta?" kalmado kong sabi

Biglang nawala ang saya sa mukha niya pagkasabi ko nun. Nakatingin lang siya sa'kin. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay habang hinihintay ang sagot niya.

"Nagpaalam ako kay coach. Pinayagan niya ako. Sabi niya hindi ko na raw kailangan mag-extend kasi magaling na raw ako."

I scoffed. He doesn't sound so confident. Hindi ko alam kung pahumble lang siya o sadyang nahihiya lang siyang sabihin iyon.

"Talaga lang ah," I said sarcastically

He avoided my gaze. "Sinabi rin sa'kin ni Tiffany, kaya ko nalaman."

I don't know why he's the only one coming to my shows. Where the hell are my friends? Why would he even waste time on me?

Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya habang iniisip kung bakit siya nalang lagi ang nakikita ko kada show ko.

"Kasama mo ba ate mo?" I asked

Umiling siya. "Ako lang."

I sighed. Hindi na ako muling ngumiti sa kanya at ganun din siya. The tension between us became awkward. He was so happy and excited to see me but I broke it. I know I'm acting cold towards him but it's all my friends fault. Dahil sa mga sinabi nila ay hindi ko maiwasang hindi pagdudahan si Ross. I know it's wrong to judge him but I just can't help it. I began to overthink again.

"Congratulations pala. Ang galing mo," he smiled again

"Thanks. I won but only 3rd runner up."

That's why I only have a sash and a trophy. I wanted the crown. I know I should be thankful at least I won among the twenty candidates who participated...but I guess I'm a greedy person. I wanted to be first. Kaya pala pakiramdam ko ay hindi ako satisfied sa pagkapanalo ko. I could have done better. I should have practiced more. Kinulang lang talaga ako sa oras.

"Congrats pa rin! Kahit 3rd runner up. You should be proud of yourself. You did great!" he cheered

But I'm not.

Kanina pa ako nakatayo at naramdaman kong sumakit ang paa ko dahil sa heels na suot ko. I lifted my leg a little bit and leaned to untangle the straps of my heels when Ross suddenly went to me and knelt down. "Ako na," he was about to remove it but I moved away

"Ako na," mariin kong sabi at sinubukang tanggalin isa isa ang strap

He gulped and stood up. Lumayo ako sa kanya. I was struggling to remove the strap. Isa pa ay may hawak din akong bulaklak sa isa kong kamay. I think the strap was stuck so I had to bend more.

"Wait," I heard him say. Tumingin ako sa kanya at nakita kong hinubad niya ang jacket niya at tinakpan ang legs ko para hindi ako masilipan dahil nakasuot ako ng maiksing dress. He then looked away after that.

I swallowed hard. I had no choice but to hold his shoulders for support so that I won't lose my balance. I successfully removed the other heel. I then went to remove the other one. He went closer and made sure he was covering my legs properly. Hindi siya nakatingin sa'kin habang ginagawa iyon. The close proximity between us made me feel a bit awkward.

"Okay na," I coldly said when I finally removed the other heel. Lumayo ako sa kanya at sinuot ang tsinelas na dala ko. It was a fake adidas slides.

He only gave me a small smile before wearing his jacket again.

Umiwas ako ng tingin. "Well, thanks for coming Ross. Uuwi na ako," sabi ko at nilagpasan na siya

He suddenly held my arm. "Uuwi ka mag-isa? Kasama mo ba family mo?" he asked, worriedly

"Hindi sila pumunta. Magtataxi nalang ako pauwi," sagot ko

"Hatid na kita."

I sighed. "No thanks," nagsimula ulit akong magalakad pero nakakailang hakbang palang ako ay nakita ko ulit siya sa tabi ko

"Tori," he softly called

I sighed again and rolled my eyes. "What do you want? I said I'm going home. Pagod ako."

It's true. I'm extremely tired right now. I couldn't even entertain my fans who went to my show even if I want to. Kapag pagod ako ay wala ako sa mood. I turn grumpy and cold. I also have a resting bitch face right now. I can't smile anymore. Ubos na ubos na ang energy ko.

"Iniiwasan mo ba ako?" lumambot ang boses niya habang nakatingin sa mga mata ko

I stared back at him with a poker face. Hindi ko siya sinagot at naglakad ulit.

"Galit ka pa din ba?" habol niya

"No."

"Bakit and cold mo?"

I scoffed. "I'm always cold. Hindi ka pa ba nasanay?" dire-diretso lang ang lakad ko

"Hatid na kita," sabi niya at humarang ulit sa dinadaanan ko

I sighed and aggressively ran my fingers through my hair. "Hindi ka ba nakakaintindi? Sabi ko mag-tataxi ako pauwi. Hindi mo na ako kailangan ihatid. Pagod ako ngayon okay?" inis kong sabi at nilagpasan ulit siya

Hindi na niya ako hinabol pa. Kinuha ko ang phone ko sa bag at tinawagan si mama.

"Hello ma? Tapos na yung pageant ko. Hindi niyo ba ako dadaanan?"

"Naku anak. Kakaumpisa lang ng recognition ng kapatid mo. Baka matagalan pa kami. Mag-commute ka nalang pauwi," sabi niya

I smiled bitterly and nodded. "Okay," I coldly said and ended the call

I expected it. Bakit ba lagi nalang akong umaasa na uunahin nila ako? They will never.

Nagulat ako dahil bigla ulit akong dinumog ng mga tao. Pinalibutan nila ako.

"Victoria! Pwedeng papicture?"

"Hi Tori! I'm your biggest fan! Alam mo ba, first time kitang makita sa personal kaya kilig na kilig ako! Ang ganda mo! Papicture kami!"

"Tori! Congratulations! Kahit hindi ikaw yung grand winner ay proud pa din kami sa'yo! Pa autograph naman idol!"

"Idol! Ganda niyo po idol! Pwede bang manligaw?"

Mas lalo silang lumapit sa'kin habang hawak-hawak ang mga phones nila. They took photos of me. Hinila din nila ako para makapag-selfie. Halos matumba ako dahil nagtutulakan sila at naguunahan sa'kin. I couldn't breath. I was suffocating. Pakiramdam ko ay may humipo din sa legs ko. I want to get out of them so bad but they keep on pushing me.

"Excuse me. Please, h'wag niyo naman akong siksikin. Padaanin niyo ko," sabi ko ngunit hindi sila nakinig. They won't give me space.

Where the fuck is the security guards? Bakit biglang nakawala ang mga tao?

They kept on shouting my name and it was pissing me off. I want to scream right now. I'm so tired and stressed and they are making me feel ten times worse. Any minute I might blow up. My blood started to boil. I clenched my jaw and fist in anger. Parang gusto kong manapak ngayon. I'm like a bomb and any second, I'll blast off. Kung hindi pa sila titigil ay sisigaw na talaga ako at wala akong pake kung ano ang magiging reaksiyon nila.

"For the last time, all of you, get the fuck-" I wasn't able to finish my sentence when someone wrapped his arms over my shoulders and we started to walk away from the people

"Excuse po. Padaan po kami. Bawal na po ang picture," rinig kong sabi niya

Who the hell does he think he is? My bodyguard?

Inangat ko ang paningin kay Ross. He's blocking me from the people. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa braso ko para hindi ako makawala. I didn't bother to protest because I want to leave too. Kanina ko pa gustong makatakas sa mga tao.

Sumulyap ako sa likod at nakita kong hinarangan na sila ng mga security guards. I sighed in relief. Binalik ko ang tingin sa harap at natagpuan ko nalang na nasa parking lot na kami. I looked at Ross arm that's still wrapped around my shoulders. Hindi na kami sinunsundan ng tao pero nakaakbay pa din siya sa'kin. Kunwari pa niyang nilibot ang paningin sa paligid kahit na wala nang nakasunod sa'min.

I rolled my eyes and slightly pushed him away. "Wala na sila.."

Tumikhim siya sabay iwas ng tingin. "Sorry. Ayos ka lang?" nag-aalala niyang tanong

I nodded and fixed myself. "Thanks."

Nilabas ko ulit ang phone ko at nag-book ng grab. Alam kong pinapanood niya pa din ako.

"Hatid na kasi kita sa inyo. Ayaw mo nun, makakatipid ka pa sa pamasahe."

Hindi ko siya pinansin. "Fuck," I muttered when I can't find a rider

"Wala kang ma-book na driver 'no?"

I looked at him and he's smiling like an idiot. Since when he become so happy and smiley all the time?

I glared at him. Nawala naman ang ngiti sa labi niya.

Humikab ako sa sobrang antok. I want to go home now but I can't find a fucking driver. Fuck!

I looked at him again. He's standing a few inches away from me, hands inside his pockets while whistling a song

"Hindi ka pa ba uuwi?" inis kong sabi

Napatingin siya sa'kin. "Kapag nahatid na kita, uuwi na din ako."

I sighed. You know what? Fuck it. Mag-iinarte pa ba ako?

"Fine. Where's your car?"

He smiled and took out his car keys. He gestured me to follow him and so I did. We walked towards his car. He even opened the cardoor for me. Hindi ako sumagot at pumasok nalang sa loob ng kotse niya.

Tahimik lang kami sa byahe. Nakahalukipkip ako habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana. It started to rain a little.

"Are you hungry? Gusto mong mag-drive thru? Libre kita-"

"Sa bahay na ako kakain."

Hindi na siya sumagot. Binalot kami ng katahimikan.

"Nga pala. Nood kang game namin ah. Sa Friday na."

Tumango lang ako.

"Tori."

"Ano?"

Noong hindi siya sumagot ay tumingin na ako sa kanya. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

He looked at me and smiled. "Nothing," he said and went back to the road

"Baliw."

"Nga pala. Napansin ko dun sa question and answer portion ng pageant. Ang rude ng MC. I mean, hindi ko alam pero para sa'kin parang binastos niya kayo. Not physically, but emotionally. He made so many unnecessary comments. His jokes were insults to the female audience," he said

Ang because of that, he managed to get my attention. Nakatingin na ako sa kanya habang nagsasalita siya.

He smiled weakly and rubbed his neck. "When you were on stage, I saw you feeling so uncomfortable yet pissed at the same time. Are you okay?" he glanced at me

I gave him a small smile. "Yeah I'm fine. Yes I was uncomfortable. Nainis ako pero hindi ko na siya dinibdib. I just answered the question with class. Hindi ko na inalala yung mga sinabi niya. Just forget about it."

He nodded.

"I didn't know you were that observant."

"Kapag pagdating sa'yo, oo."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

"You were also the most beautiful among the candidates. Eventhough you didn't win first, you're still the best for me," he smiled proudly. "I also took some photos of you on stage."

"Really huh? Maganda ba ako sa picture?"

"Oo naman. Syempre!" his smile grew wider but it eventually faltered. "Sayang, wala tayong picture."

I sighed. A while ago, I was giving him the cold shoulders but I can't treat him like that for too long.

"Can I borrow your phone."

"Why?"

"Let's take a picture."

He swallowed hard. "Oh, okay uhm. Wait." He got his phone out of his pocket and gave it to me

I swiped it to the camera and positioned it to us for a selfie. I leaned closer to Ross. Naamoy ko agad ang pabango niya. Sakto ay nag-red light.

"Smile!" I said and we both smiled at the camera. I clicked multiple times for a different pose. After taking it, I returned his phone. Umayos na rin ako ng upo. "There. You happy now?"

He nodded like a kid. "Thanks Tori."

I rolled my eyes at him and looked outside the window.

"By the way, your birthday is coming up next week. Advance happy birthday!"

"Tss. Tagal pa. Thanks tho."

I almost forgot it's my birthday two weeks from now. I was surprised that he knew. If he didn't remind me then I probably wouldn't remember. I don't know why but I don't feel so excited. Wala pa akong plano sa birthday ko.

Tumingin ulit ako sa labas ng bintana.

"What happened to your legs? Bakit ka puro pasa?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. Tumingin ako sa tuhod ko at may mga pasa iyon. Binaba ko ng kaunti ang dress ko.

"Syempre sa training tsaka sa pag-momodel ko."

Our volleyball training was very difficult. Kahit pa may knee pads ako ay nagkakapasa pa din ako. I also do modeling so since I'm still not a professional one, there are times I trip and fall on the ground especially that I'm taught to wear high heels. It's all part of the job.

"H'wag mong masyadong bugbugin yung katawan mo," sabi niya

"Like I have a choice."

Volleyball is my sport. Modeling is my soon to be job.

"Bakit pati sa braso mo, meron din?"

Tumingin ako sa braso ko. Agad kong binaba ang sleeves ng suot ko. I used to cover it with make-up so that people won't see. I vividly remember the day I got this bruises. It was when Jared got so angry at me. I can still feel how his fingers dug deep unto my skin. Hindi ko alam na magdudulot iyon ng pasa. I can't believe Ross has sharp eyes. He notices everything, even the smallest details.

"Is he hurting you?" he coldly said

"That's none of your business anymore."

The tension between grew more. The ambiance became serious. None of us dared to speak anymore. I checked my phone when I received a text message from my mom.

Mama:

Pauwi na kami.

I didn't reply. Binalik ko ang phone sa bag at tumingin ulit sa labas ng bintana. Tahimik na ulit ang naging byahe namin hanggang sa makarating kami sa bahay.

"Thanks for the ride," I said and removed my seatbelt

"You're welcome."

Mabilis kong inayos ang gamit ko. I held the flowers and trophy on my hand. I also took my paper bag and it inside it was my heels. I didn't bother to look at his reaction anymore and quickly went out of his car.

Sakto ay nakita ko ang kotse namin na nakaparada sa garahe. I then started to walk towards my house. Tumambad agad ang pamilya ko sa living room.

"O, andito ka na pala," bati ni mama

Hindi ko siya pinansin at tumingin sa kapatid kong nakangiti habang tinitignan ang mga medals niya.

"May uwi kaming pagkain. Kumain ka nalang-"

"I'm not hungry," sabi ko at umakyat sa hagdan pero bigla niya ulit akong tinawag

"Pasensiya na hindi kami nakahabol. Nanalo ka naman ba?"

She sounded not apologetic and not sincere. Huminto ako at humawak sa hagdan. "3rd runner up lang," tamad kong sagot at dumiretso na sa kwarto

When I got inside my room, I removed my sash and went to the bathroom. Naghilamos ako para tanggalin ang make-up sa mukha ko. I was so lazy to change clothes so I didn't bother to. I put my small trophy on the bedside table. Humiga na ako sa kama at pumikit. It was not long until I fell asleep.

The next day I woke up with tons of notifications on my phone. My mood changed quickly. Magandang bungad sa umaga dahil nakatanggap ulit ako ng mga mensahe sa mga fans ko. My followers increased again. I'm almost at ten thousand. Ang daming nagtagg at nag-mention sa'kin sa IG stories nila. My fans posted a picture of me yesterday during the pageant. I liked all of their posts. I decided to do an IG live.

"Hey guys! It's Victoria. It has been a while oh my God! Sorry for being so MIA lately. I had a lot of shenanigans going on. Gusto ko lang sabihin na binabasa ko yung mga messages niyo sa'kin. I'm sorry if I couldn't reply to all of you, but I want to let you know that I appreciate all the love and support. Sa mga pumunta noong fashion show ko last month at sa mga pumunta din kahapon para manood ng pageant ko, salamat ng marami! I was so happy to meet all of you guys in person. From the bottom of my fucking heart, I love you all. I'll continue to do my best and yeah, I'll just read some of your messages," I said and looked at the comments

I chuckled. "Gusto ko sanang magpa-give away kapag umabot na ako ng ten thousand followers. Wow! Influencer ka girl?! Joke lang, self-proclaimed lang."

Victoria is the fourth gen queen!

Victoria deserved to be the grand winner of the pageant! But anyway, congrats pa din!

All of the candidates did well but Victoria stood out the most for me.

Victoria! I love you mami! Pinanood ko po yung pageant niyo kahapon. Ang ganda niyo po talaga at ang talino niyo po sa pag-sagot ng tanong sa Q&A.

Omg nanotice ako ni idol kahapon! She even signed my shirt!

I smiled widely. "Thank you!"

As expected, there's always the other side of the coin when it comes to fame. I've also received negative feedbacks from haters.

Seriously? She's a feminist? How can she call herself that when she always show revealing clothes and dressed sluty in her instagram?

She didn't deserve to win. Pa-famous lang.

Victoria? Ngayon ko lang narinig pangalan niya so paki-explain naman sa'kin kung bakit siya trending ngayon.

Wow! She promotes feminism and gender equality but her attitude tell otherwise.

I can't believe hinahangaan siya ng kabataan. I heard a rumor that she's a lasinggera and a smoker. May bad reputation din siya sa school niya. Walang kwenta 'yang iniidolo niyo. Smh.

I sighed. "Oh look, here's another sexist comment," I said referring to the first comment I saw. "Being a feminist is all about freedom, liberation, it's about speaking up. I don't understand. What does it have to do with my tits? I am a woman. It's funny because when a guy post a shirtless picture of himself or a naked picture in social media, people will praise and worship it but when a girl does it, we'll get called a slut, pokpok, a whore. That our purpose for wearing 'revealing' clothes is for thirst traps which is not true. We're not doing it for you, but for us. Besides, it's my account. I can post whatever I want to post responsibly."

They're implying as if I posted an actual nude of me in social media which is false. I never posted such thing. Some people are just overreacting. They are really trying to find ways to hate on you even with the most ridiculous reasons. They will come up with a rumor just to hate you. They will sometimes invade your personal privacy which is creepy. They don't even know me but why are they judging me so easily? I ignored the haters because their reasons to hate me is so shallow. I shouldn't waste my time on them. What's important right now is the people who loves and supports me.

"Spread love lang tayo dito ah, no hate. I hope we can respect each other. I'm not hating on anyone. I just want to create a positive and healthy environment," I said. "I also just want to add that just because I'm active on social media doesn't mean you already know me okay? There's a lot more things you don't know about me and I chose to keep it private."

After an hour, I ended my live. I checked my e-mails and I was surprised to see different brands reaching out for me. They were all interested to work with me. I can't believe it! Kinikilig ako habang binabasa sila isa-isa. They are messaging me in all my social medias. Unfortunateky, I'm on a break right now. I'll need time to rest and catch up on my studies. My body can't function properly anymore due to the amount of workload I have.

Bakit parang masyadong mabilis?

Ang bilis kong sumikat.

Sunod-sunod yung opportunity na dumadating sa buhay ko.

Do I still deserve this?

Everything is just too good to be true.

Pakiramdam ko, nanaginip lang ako.

"Deserve ko naman 'di ba?" sabi ko sa sarili. There are just times when I doubt myself. I'm not sure if I'm worthy. "Deserve ko naman siguro kasi pinaghirapan ko din ito. I made a lot of sacrifices."

Some people say that I got everthing easily, that I didn't break a sweat, that I didn't even work hard. Sabi nila swerte lang daw ako. Sabi nila ay hindi rin ako magtatagal. Enjoy it while it last, they say.

But I believe I worked hard for everything that I have right now.

This is only just the beginning.

I'll work harder and prove them wrong.

The next day, my classmates also congratulated me. They showered me with both bad and good compliments. Nagpasalamat ako at nginitian sila isa-isa. I grew more and more popular in school overtime. I also gained a lot of suitors but I didn't entertain them.

Ngumiti ako nang makasalubong si Nicole sa hallway. I waved my hands at her but perhaps she didn't see me. Kaya nilapitan ko nalang siya.

"Hey Nicole," I greeted

"Oh, hey Tori," she sniffed. Her head was bowed down.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Hinanap ko ang mga mata niya at nakita kong namumula iyon. Umiwas siya ng tingin.

"Hey. Are you okay? Umiyak ka ba?" I asked, worried

"No. It's nothing," sabi niya at nilagpasan ako pero hinabol ko siya

"Hey. You can tell me about it," I held her wrist

She swallowed hard. I can see the dry tears from her eyes. Hinawi ko ang buhok niya.

"Who hurt you?" I soflty asked

She sniffed and bursted in tears. Tinakpan niya ang mukha niya. Tumingin ako sa paligid at exposed kami ngayon dahil maraming estudyante kaya hinila ko siya at pumasok kami sa isang classroom kung saan walang tao.

"It's okay. I'm here," said. "What happened? Bakit ka umiiyak?"

"Clyde and I broke up," she said with her shaking voice. Humagulgol siya lalo

My lips parted. "What? Ser-seryoso ba?"

She continued to cry.

I bit my nails while staring at her. Hinila ko siya at niyakap. "I'm so sorry."

I couldn't hear anything aside from her soft whimpers. I hugged her tighter to comfort her.

"Why did you guys break up? I mean, not that I know much about your relationship but...are you okay?"

"Of course I'm not!" she cried

I sighed. "I'm sorry. Iiyak mo lang 'yan sis. Andito lang ako," I caressed her back

"I don't know why. He just suddenly broke up with me out of the blue. On and off kasi yung relationship n-namin. He just..decided to end it. Fuck! We've been together for almost three years, bakit gano'n?!"

"What was his reason? I swear if he cheated-"

"Sabi niya nagsawa na raw siya sa'kin. He felt out of love. Nilaban naman namin. There was one time we broke up but we got back together. Tapos ngayon, siguro ayaw niya na talaga," humikbi siya

"Nag-sawa? What the fuck? Akala ko pa naman matino siyang tao."

"It's not his fault. Hindi naman siya nag-cheat sa'kin."

"So that's his reason? He just fell out of love?"

She nodded. "I don't know why. May mali ba sa'kin? Minahal ko naman siya e. We were okay. Bakit biglang nagising nalang ako at sinabi niya na hindi niya na ako mahal. Maybe I'm the problem."

"Don't say that. It's not your fault. Nag-mahal ka lang naman e," kalmado kong sabi

Well, I can't even judge Clyde since I don't know his side of the story. But Nicole. Nicole is a sensitive one. She cries easily. She's soft spoken and has a cheerful personality. She's like the baby of the group.

"Ang sakit. Ang sakit, sakit. Three fucking years Tori, but he threw away our relationship just like that. He's the only man I'll ever love. I don't think I can move on from him," she added

"Maybe he's not mean for you. Baka may mahahanap ka pang mas better sa kanya."

Umiling siya. "I don't think you understand how I feel since you've never been into a serious one," bigla siyang kumalas ng yakap

My lips parted. "Nag-mahal din ako Nicole. H'wag mong sabihin na hindi kita naiintindihan. I know how it feels."

I fucking hate being vulnerable especially when talking about my past. I want to forget it. I want to put everything behind. Maybe this why I become so cold hearted pero hindi ibig sabihin no'n ay hindi na ako nasasaktan. I don't think I'll ever fully commit myself to a person.

She cried again. I let her cry until she feels better. Nanatili lang ako sa tabi niya. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and gently squeezed it. I sighed and shut my eyes.

We stayed at the classroom for ten minutes before we went out. Nicole covered her face with her hair. Pinunasan niya ang luha sa mata niya.

"Okay ka na?"

"For now. I think I'll cry more later," she chuckled bitterly

I smiled weakly. "After school, libre kitang ice cream. Ice cream always make me feel better."

"Thanks.."

Nagpaalam na din siya para pumunta sa klase. Meanwhile, I saw Karina in the lockers. Naglakad ako papunta sa kanya.

"Hey," I said

She looked at me with her brow raised. "Yes Tori?"

"Where are the guys?"

I haven't seen them since morning. I want to talk to Cylde.

Kumunot ang noo niya. "I don't know. Baka nag-cutting," sabi niya sabay kuha ng libro sa locker

"Cutting? Nanaman?"

She smiled sarcastically. "Boys will be boys."

I was about to say something but she immediately turned her back on me and started to walk again. I sighed, pissed. Hindi pa ako tapos makipag-usap sa kanya pero umalis na agad siya sa harapan ko.

I decided to go to class now since it's almost time. Mamaya ko nalang siguro kakausapin si Clyde. Baka nga nagcutting sila dahil hindi ko pa din sila makita hanggang ngayon.

I turned around and that exact moment I saw them entered the school door. Mukhang kababalik lang nila galing cutting. Seriously? Why would they even show up after they've broke the school rule. The audacity.

I fixed my bag on my shoulder and walked towards them.

"Hey babe," Jared was about to hug me but I avoided his arm and went straight to Clyde

Nagtatawanan sila ni Jude habang si Ross ay nakatingin lang sa'kin.

"Hey Clyde," I called him

He stopped and looked at me. "What?"

"Can we talk. In private," I said

Nagkatinginan sila sa isa't isa. They were shocked. Alam kong madumi ang iniisip nila. Ngumisi sila ng nakakaloko at inasar si Clyde. Umiwas ng tingin si Ross at nag-isip ng malalim.

"Si Tori pala pinalit mo kay Nicole ah! Tang ina, pasa pasahan kayo?!" Jude chuckled

"Gago! Hindi ko type si Tori. Tang ina, hindi ako pumapatol sa cheap," Clyde said

My jaw dropped. I was about to speak but Jared pulled my arm. "Are you cheating on me with Clyde? Seriously Tori?!" bulong niya sa'kin

"Shut up! I'm just gonna ask him what's his reason for breaking up with Nicole," napalakas ang boses ko kaya tumingin sila ulit sa'kin

Humakbang palapit sa'kin si Clyde. I can smell the smoke of cigarrette inside his mouth. "Ang chismosa mo rin talaga 'no? Pwede ba, h'wag kang mangielam sa relasyon namin. Wala kang alam. That's none of your fucking business-"

Ross pulled him away from me. "Matuto ka namang rumespeto ng babae Clyde," mariin niyang sabi at humarang sa'kin

He scoffed. "Respect bro? You can't even respect someone else's relationship."

"Oh snap! Good one Clyde. Fight! Fight! Fight!" sabi ni Jude sa likod. Wala siyang ambag kundi panoorin lang kaming mag-away

I don't understand why they are fighting in the first place. Are they really friends? Ano bang problema nila sa isa't isa?

Nakita kong kumuyom ang kamao ni Ross. I can't see his reaction since I'm facing his broad back but I knew for a fact that he's mad. I looked at Clyde and he's glaring at Ross. Aawatin ko na sana sila pero buti nalang ay may dumating na teacher at pinagsabihan kaming pumunta na sa mga klase namin.

I was the first one to leave because I don't want to cause anymore drama. Hindi na ako makikisawsaw pa sa problema nilang dalawa. At ayoko na din tanungin pa si Clyde. Hindi ko alam na ganito ang magiging reaksiyon niya. If he can't tell me then he could have said so, no need to shout out me like that. I won't even force him if he won't tell me. Jeez. Boys are such headaches.

The next day, we all watched the basketball game of our school. We're at the MOA arena. Nakapwesto kami sa lower box. There were a lot of people who came to support our school, kasama na doon ang mga kaklase at schoolmates. ko. Hindi pa nagsisimula ang game pero todo huyaw na sila upang icheer ang school namin. Beside me are my friends- Nicole, Karina, Aubrey, Andi, and Tiffany. Nakasauot kami ng univeristy shirt namin. I'm wearing a black cap so that people wouldn't recognize me.

"Kinakabahan ako. Kailan ba magsisimula?!" si Aubrey

I chuckled. "Naghahanda pa lang yung mga teams."

Tumingin ako sa harap at nakita ang mga players na maglalaro. I saw our guy friends at the side of the court. They were circled around, discussing something with their coach. Naka-suot na din sila ng basketball jersey nila.

"Hey. Where's Ross? Bakit hindi ko siya nakikita?" Tiffany leaned forward and searched for him at the court

"What? I'm sure he's there," si Aubrey

"Text mo kaya," sabi ni Karina

Hinanap ko din si Ross sa court pero hindi ko siya nakita. I looked at the crowd behind us and to my surprise, I saw his sister, Ate Roxanne. Ngumiti ako at kinawayan siya noong nagtama ang mata namin. She did the same.

"Huy guys, hindi siya nagrereply sa text ko," sabi ni Tiffany

Umayos ulit ako ng upo. "Baka nandiyan lang yun. Nalate lang o kaya nagbibihis. Pwede ding nag-CR."

"Oo nga. I'm sure he'll be here soon," Nicole added

"Shit! The game is about to start. Manahimik na kayo," inigaw ni Karina ang popcorn kay Nicole at tumingin sa harap

I stood up and looked at the court again. Ross is nowhere to be seen. Where the hell is that man? I looked at his sister behind us and she's on her phone. It appears like she's calling someone. Nag-aalala din siya kung bakit hanggang ngayon ay wala pa din ang kapatid niya.

I'm sure he's already in the arena. If not then his sister wouldn't be here to watch. Hindi siya pwedeng hindi sumipot. His team needs him. I started to get worried too. Unti-unti nang nagsisipuntahan yung players sa loob ng court. The announcer started to announce each player, indicating that the game is about to start. The audience cheered loudly. Sumigaw din ang mga kaibigan ko.

I took my phone out and texted him.

Ako:

Where the hell are you? The game is about to start.

I bit my nails while waiting for his reply. A minute passed and nothing came. In the end, I decided to look for him myself.

"Hey Tori! Where are you going?" tawag sa'kin ni Tiffany

"Hahanapin ko siya," I said and excused myself to pass through the people who are already seated

I tried to search for him in every room that I can find here. Habang hinahanap siya ay tumitingin din ako sa phone ko baka sakaling nag-reply siya. I passed by some staff and random people from the audience. I adjusted my cap and lied low.

I stopped when I reached the men's locker room. I was hesitant at first. Baka pagpasok ko ay iba ang makita ko. I don't know if he's really here but I decided to check. I knocked first and slowly opened the door. I took a peak just to be sure. At first I didn't saw anyone, but then as I got inside, I saw a man...with a lion tattoo on his body and that's when I confirmed it was him. I know too damn well it was him.

"Ross?" I called

Lumingon siya sa'kin. I was right. It really was him.

"Ross! Andito ka lang pala. The game is about-" I stopped and covered my mouth in shock when I saw his state

Agad ko siyang nilapitan. "Oh my God! What happened to you?! Are you okay?"

Bumaba ang paningin ko sa katawan niya. I saw that his body is covered in bruises. He's half naked, only wearing his Jersey shorts. I can see his upper body clearly. Para siyang binugbog. Nakita kong may konting bahid ng dugo sa katawan niya.

"Tori.." he said in a weak voice

Tumingin ako sa mukha niya at nakita kong bugbog sarado siya. He has a cut on his cheek. Putok din ang labi niya. May pasa din siya sa kabilang pisngi. His hair was a mess too.

I held his face but he winced in pain. Kumunot ang noo ko. "Who did this to you huh?! Tell me. What the hell happened?"

Tumingin ulit ako sa katawan niya. He has bruises everywhere. Mabibigat ang bawat paghinga niya na parang hinang-hina. His muscles flexed. I was about to touch the severe wound right beside his abs when he held my hand.

"Don't," he gruted

I swallowed hard and looked at his face again. He looks so tired and weak. I moved closer to him because I feel like he's about to fall any minute.

Halos magdikit ang katawan namin sa isa't isa. I can feel his warmth. Our bodies started to heat up. Bigla niyang pinatong ang ulo niya sa balikat ko. I can feel his hot breath on my skin. I held unto the lockers behind us so I don't lose my balance.

"Huy. Ano ba kasing nangyari?! Umupo muna tayo at gagamutin ko ang sugat mo," sabi ko pero hindi siya gumalaw

"Listen to m-me Tori," he muttered

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What?"

Unti-unti siyang umayos ng tayo. He's still holding my hand, afraid to let go of it. Nakakunot pa rin ang noo ko habang nakatingin sa kanya.

"S-stay away from them," he coughed

My lips parted. "What do you mean? Stay away from whom Ross?"

He swallowed hard. I saw how his adam's apple moved. I was shocked when he cupped my face. "Your f-friends," sambit niya habang nakatitig sa mga mata ko

I tried to find the answers in his eyes but I only saw how desperate and tired he looks.

"What are you talking about? My friends? Bakit?" his hand against my cheek felt warm. He's holding me like I'm the one who's hurt. He's holding me with gentleness, careful not to hurt me with his words.

"Ni...niloloko ka lang-"

I heard the door busted open. Sabay kaming lumingon doon. My eyes widened when I saw Tiffany standing at the door while looking at us in shock. Pabalik balik ang tingin niya sa'min. Agad akong lumayo kay Ross at tinignan si Tiffany.

She looks so betrayed by what she saw. Kumuyom ang mga kamao niya at namula rin ang mata niya.

"This isn't what it looks like. Mali ka ng iniisip-" sinubukan kong lapitan ang kaibigan ko pero bigla na lang siyang tumakbo

My lips parted. I was about to chase after her but Ross held my wrist. Lumingon ulit ako sa kanya.

He groaned in pain. Napahawak siya sa tiyan niya at napamura sa sakit.

"Ross. Stay here. I'll call for help, okay?" I assured him and looked at the door again where I last saw my friend

"Wait. Tori..." he called again

I shut my eyes and bit my lip.

Fuck. I don't want to leave him here but I have to explain to Tiffany about what happened. She must have misinterpreted our actions.

"Tori.."

Tumingin ako sa kanya. His body is slightly bent down and he's using his other hand to hold the lockers for support, while the other, holds mine.

He looked at me, tired and helpless. Parang nangungusap ang mga mata niya na huwag ko siyang iwan mag-isa. My heart ached. He's holding my wrist like he's holding on for dear life.

Tumingin ako sa kamay niyang nakahawak sa'kin. I swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry," I said and removed his hand from me

That was all I could say to him before I found myself chasing after my friend.