#BWB08

"Hey loves. I hope you're having a cute day today. As promised, I'll be doing a get ready with me video while answering some of your questions. I'll be showing you guys my everyday make-up. Super easy and quick. So yeah, let's get started. So first, I've already washed my face. I'm now going to apply my primer," I said and put a small amount of primer on my fingers and gently applied it on my face. 

"I've listed the questions on my notebook so the first question is," sabi ko at binasa ang tanong

Hi Ate! How long do you do your make-up? Ang ganda niyo po kasi lagi sa mga pictures and I'm curious how you do your make-up. I'm just a beginner palang po kasi.

"I usually do my make-up for about an hour, but it really depends. Kapag full face make-up, it takes me about two hours. Depende kapag may special ocassions gano'n but yeah, in short, I take a long time to prepare. Just practice. Ako din sa umpisa, hindi ako marunong. I just watch a lot of make-up videos with tips and tricks. Later on, I've improved. I'm not a professional tho, I'm still learning to do a perfect wing liner."

The next step I did is I applied a thin layer of doundation on my face. I use my fingers to blend it. Before, I like to use a beauty blender but then I realized that I can blend the foundation much easier with my fingers. 

"Next question is...how do you balance your social life, acads, and modeling jobs?"

I looked at my phone and smiled. "I don't," I chuckled. "Charot lang. Uhm, yeah, I guess you can say I'm quite a busy person doing a lot of things at nineteen unlike other girls age like me. I guess I'm a very ambitious person. Malinaw sa'kin kung ano yung gusto ko sa buhay. Kung yung iba sa inyo ang tingin sa'kin ay puro inom lang at walang pangarap sa buhay, nagkakamali po kayo," tumingin ako sa salamin at nag-kilay. "I just prioritize what's important. Yes, acads should be your number one priority but at the same time, don't forget to have fun. You only live once. We're still teenagers, we don't deserve to be stress so much. My life ain't boring so I always make the most out of everything."

What's your zodiac sign po?

"I'm a Scorpio," I replied

What are your plans after college?

"I'd probably apply to some model agencies. Like I've said, I wanted to become a model."

Top or bottom?

I smirked. "Top."

After I'm done with my brows, I moved on with my eyes. I used a palette from Anastasia Beverly Hills. I took my small brush and used the nude shades. I tapped to remove the excess powder before I apply it to my eyes, specifically my crease.

Binasa ko ulit ang mga tanong. Some of them are a bit sexual but I still answered it nonetheless.

Are u still a virgin?

"Nope," tipid kong sabi. "You know, I don't understand why sex and virginity is such a big deal for other people. Why is it such a taboo thing? Virgin or not, it doesn't make us less of a woman. But let me just remind you, especially for my younger audience out there, please do do not misinterpret my statement. I have seen minors posting nudes o social media and it bothers me so much. Please, I beg you, do not post such things on the internet recklessly. Again, minors palang kayo. You are literally promoting child pornography which is wrong. Please ladies, know your worth. There are so many ways to show your confidence but please know your limitations."

I'm a liberated woman but I never posted nudes on the internet when I was a minor. Kids these days really trying to act like a grown up. 

I took a deep breath to calm myself before reading the next question. "What is it like being an influencer at a young age?" I read

After finishing my eyeshadow, I took my mascara and carefully applied it to my lashes.

"Honestly, it's not that hard. I'm just enjoying my life at the moment. Another thing is I'm still new to this. I wouldn't really call myself as an influencer. I'm just an extra teenage girl who likes fashion and beauty. It's not a huge responsibility for me. I'm not that famous honestly. I'm just having fun. That's it. K, next question!"

I then grabbed my bronzer and my medium size brush. I applied a little bit on my face. "What is your motto in life?"

"I actually have a lot of motto. You only live once. Big girls don't cry. Queens don't compete with hoes. Do no harm, take no shit. If they don't you personally then don't take it personal, and many more," I smiled

Ate, how do handle you haters and bashers?

"Sweetie. I don't handle them," diretso kong sagot

What's your ideal type po sa lalaki?

I smirked and applied blush on my cheekbones. "Sino bang nagsabi na lalaki hanap ko?" sabi ko sa harap ng camera. "Oops...next question," I laughed

What's your favorite position?

Tumingin ako sa camera at tipid na ngumiti. I know it was a sexual question 'cause it has naughty emojis beside it. "CEO. I want to be CEO of a company," sagot ko. "Next question!"

Do you have strict parents? Pansin ko kapag may mga strict ang parents madalas magaganda at pogi eh.

I laughed at the question. "I know right. Yes, I do have strict parents, especially my mom. Correction, si mama lang pala. Hindi masyadong mahigpit sa'kin si...papa," I paused when I though of my real dad

I forced a smile and read the next question. "How do you keep in shape po? Ang sexy niyo po kasi sa mga pictures. Do have a workout routine?" basa ko

"Aww, thanks love. First of all , uh, I don't have a workout routine. Believe me or not. I have a lazy ass. I'm born skinny bitch. Isa pa ay may sports ako. I'm an athlete so that's what keeps me in shape. Three times a week ako may heavy training. Yun lang yung exercise ko. I know there's a lot of people who body shame me and using my insecurities againts me. It frustrates me because-" I sighed. "Like, shut the fuck up. We all have different body types. Naiinis ako kasi ang dami kong nakikita sa comments ko shaming my body. Honey, you're not even cute. Please, just..let's stop body shaming okay? Fat, skinny, sexy, flat chested or big tiddies, mestiza or morena, we are all beautiful and unique in our own way. Our flaws, it's a part of us. We should embrace it. We shouldn't feel embarrassed about it. Everyone has insecurities and it's okay. I'm still in the process of loving myself. If we learn how to embrace our flaws and imperfections then people don't have the power to use it against us anymore."

Gusto mong maging model pero hindi ka naman magandang role model sa mga kabataan. Panay ang mura mo sa mga live mo. Tingin mo maganda kang impluwensiya sa kabataan?

That question in particular hit me. It took me a while to process it. 

I smiled sarcastically. "Thank you for that question. Ang dami ko pala talagang haters ano?" I chuckled. "So ang content ko pala ngayon ay 'Reading hate comments.' Fine. I'll answer it. Wala naman akong inuurungan na tanong," I stopped doing my make-up for now to answer the question

"First of all, I don't care about your opinion. Second, yes I do curse a lot but that doesn't mean like I'm a bad person. Hindi lang naman puro kabastusan ang lumalabas sa bibig ko. Since I'm a public figure, I know I have to be a role model to the youth. I'm aware that I should use my platform wisely. But at the same time, I want to be authentic in front of my followers. I want to show both my good sides and my bad sides. I feel like people hate me from being real. I'm just being myself. I know my limitations but like I've said, I want to show my true self. I hate being plastic. I'd rather get hated for being real than get loved for being fake. If you don't like the content that I post, then feel free to unfollow me. I'm not here to please anyone."

Hindi po ito tanong, more like assumption. I do feel like you're a good person. Madalas ay namimis-interpret ka lang ng mga tao.

I smiled upon reading the comment. "Thank you for thinking of me that way. Mabait ako sa taong mabait sa'kin. Most of the time, people misinterpret my actions but I guess sometimes, I'm simply a bad bitch. May attitude ako at moody din. I just know myself better than anybody else."

Mukha po kayong kalog, suplada, mataray at walwalera pero mabait naman kapag nakilala.

I laughed. "That is true tho. Madalas ganyan ang first impression nila sa'kin. Once you get to really know me, I'm like the craziest bitch you've ever met that's possessed by a demon or something. I also have a resting bitch face so people assume that I'm cold and intimidating. I'm not a saint. I have a strong personality and a heart of steel."

After answering the question, I moved on with my lips. I showed them a bunch of lipsticks and asked them what shade do I wear. I'm glad that most of them picked the nude shade. It matched my whole look. I opened the cap and carefully apply it to my lips. 

"What's your pet peeve?" basa ko sa comments

"Oh my God! I have a lot. I hate waking up in the morning. I hate slow walkers. I hate when a person chews with their mouth open. I hate noisy people. It annoys me. I hate fake bitches. I hate when people tell me what to do. I hate when people judge someone based on their looks. I hate party poopers, like kapag nasa party kayo o gala tapos biglang magpaalam yung isa mong tropa at uuwi kaagad. Like, and KJ! Ayoko din sa mga taong ang nega. Ayoko sa mga mayayabang na puro papogi lang ang alam. I also hate kids who cry loudly. At marami pa. Madali kasi akong maiirita. Even in the smallest things. Ayoko din na tinititigan ako ng tao nang matagal," paliwanag ko. Naalala ko bigla si Ross. That jerk.

After a few minutes, I'm finally done with my make-up. I took my phone and showed it to them. "Okay guys, so here is the final product. Damn, I look hot eventhough the make-up looks simple and light. There you have it. My everyday, make-up routine. Thank you for sending me the questions. I enjoyed answering them. Until next time. Bye!"

The next day, my girl friends invited me over to a bar. Pumayag naman ako na makipagkita sa kanila. Hinanap ko sila sa loob at napangiti ako pagkakita sa kanila. "Hi!"

"Over here Tori!" they yelled

I made my way towards them. Binaba ko ang bag sa upuan at umupo. "Hi. Sorry I'm late. Biglaan namin kasi kayong magyaya. Tumakas nga lang ako e."

"Glad you were able to make it," si Karina sabay abot sa'kin ng alak

"Thanks," I said and drank from the bottle

"Where's the boys?" I asked

"We didn't invite them over. This is a girls nightout," sabi ni Tiffany

My eyes widened. "Really? That's great!" ngiti kong sabi, "I'm also tired of their faces. Mas nag-eenjoy ako kasama kayong girls."

"Yeah, and it's been a while since we last hang out with each other without the boys," wika ni Nicole

"We literally see each other's faces everyday in school. What the fuck do you mean?" saad ni Karina

We laughed. "I guess we're all tired of each other," sabi naman ni Aubrey

"But what keeps us together is none other than booze," si Tiffany sabay angat ng baso niya

We nodded in agreement and cheered our glasses. Sabay naming ininom iyon. I instantly took the cup filled with chaser and drank it too. 

"By the way, I've got something to show you," sabi ni Karina

"What is it?"

She gave us a sly smile and slowly lifted her shirt. "I just got a tattoo."

My eyes widened. "Shut the front door!"

My friends gasped. "Oh my God! Talaga ba? Patingin nga."

It's quite dark inside the bar, especially in our table. Agad kaming lumapit sa kanya. Sinuri ko nang mabuti ang tattoo niya. "Ang ganda puta. Saan ka nagpatats?"

"Just a friend of mine," she said

The tattoo has her name on it engraved in small letters. It was just below her stomach.

"Did it hurt?" tanong ni Tiffany

"Not much. I can tolerate the pain," sagot niya at binaba na ang damit niya

"I was planning to get a tattoo also. Tsaka na, kapag may pera na ulit," ngiti kong sabi sabay inom ng shot

"Tagong-tago 'di ba? Para hindi ako mahuli sa school," she added

"Guys. Can I ask you a serious question?" tanong ni Tiffany

Lahat kami ay napatingin sa kanya. She looks so serious. We got confused. Nagkatinginan kaming apat.

"Ano yun?" tanong ni Aubrey

She gulped and went closer to us. "Did it hurt the first time you did 'it'?"

Kumunot ang noo namin. "Did what? Sex?"

She slowly nodded.

We gasped. "Omg! Who's the lucky guy?" we asked, curiously

"Be quiet bitches. I'm not comfortable talking about it in public," she said

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. We're all grown-ups anyway," I said

"Ako personally masakit," sabi ni Aubrey

Napatingin kami sa kanya. Tinaasan niya kami ng kilay. "What? I know I'm single now but that doesn't mean I'm a virgin."

We all nodded. "Right."

"Para sa'kin, hindi," sagot ni Karina

I nodded. "Yeah, me too. It didn't hurt."

"Is Jared your first?" Nicole asked

"Nah. It's my ex. Some girls have different experiences. They think it would hurt the first time. Akala ko din noong una masakit. I don't know why it didn't hurt me or maybe my ex has a small penis. I think," I said and drank another shot

They all laughed. "That's too much information girl."

I smiled. "I'm serious! I didn't even feel his dick went inside my vagina. I was like 'is this what it suppose to feel?' I thought maybe it's our first time doing it together and we're both virgins too or maybe he just lack the experience. Hindi ko na maalala."

"Wow, so that must be your worst sex experience huh?" Nicole stated

"Uh, I wouldn't say it's the worst."

"What's the worst then?"

"When I found out that the guy I was hooking up was gay."

They burst in laughter again. I feel like I'm the comedian of the group.

"So, balik tayo kay Tiffany. Nasagot na namin yung tanong mo.," ngiti kong sabi

"Who did you have sex with?" tanong ni Aubrey

"First time mo ba?"

She nodded. "Yeah.."

"So who is it? Kilala ba namin?"

Kinagat niya ang labi niya. I saw how her face turned red. "Si..Ross."

My jaw dropped. Tinignan ko ang mga kaibigan ko at lahat sila ay tulalang nakatingin kay Tiffany. Hindi kami makapag-salita. There was a long moment of silence.

"No fucking way!"

"Get out of here Tiffany!"

"Seryoso ba? Tama ba yung narinig namin?"

"I can't believe it!" I exclaimed

"It's true!" sagot ni Tiffany

"Tell us the details then. Paano naging si Ross? I mean, out of all people. That guy doesn't even have sex appeal. I just can't. Oh my God!" hindi makapaniwalang sabi ni Karina

"I don't know if we really did it. We were both drunk that time. We did it at his car. I can't fully remember the details. That's why I'm asking you if it hurt because I didn't feel anything."

"Maybe he has a small dick too!" si Karina sabay tawa

"Maybe you were just imagining things," wika ni Aubrey

"Hindi. It felt real. We were both naked and we kissed so hungrily. We had sex inside his car," paliwanag niya

Napahilot ako sa sentido ko. "My goodness.."

Aubrey chuckled. "Wow. I can't believe that quiet and mysterious Ross had sex with our friend. We were right about him all along."

"May gusto ka ba kay Ross?" tanong ko

She looked away and blushed. "Uh, ewan. Siguro oo. I mean, we did 'it'. I guess I'm slowly falling for him. Siya din kasi yung type ko. Yung tahimik tapos medyo mysterious. Gwapo din naman siya eh."

I looked at my friends and they act like they're about to vomit. Tumawa ako sa naging reaksiyon nila.

"Ikaw ah..may pagnanasa ka pala kay Ross. Ang landi mo!" pang-aasar ni Nicole sa kanya

"How did it feel? Is he good? Out of ilan yung performance niya?" sunod-sunod na tanong ni Karina

Tiffany got so red. Pinaypayan niya ang sarili dahil bigla siyang pinagpawisan. Tinawanan ulit namin siya.

"Ross is a good kisser. He really is. Pakiramdam ko hindi ako yung una niya. I'll give him a seven. I enjoyed it. I didn't know he can be hot in bed," kinilig siya bigla nang maalala

Aubrey pushed her shoulder. "Ang harot!"

"Slight lang," she giggled. "I just lack the experience tho but I guess I pleasured him well."

"Did you give him a blowjob?" Karina asked and laughed

"Unfortunately, no 'cause he refused. He pleasured me instead."

Napailing ako. "I still can't believe it."

"Are you in birth controls?" Nicole asked

"Yeah, of course. I think Ross used a condom too. Safety first 'di ba?"

"Do you guys shave down there when you have sex?" Aubrey asked

"Oo naman," sabi ni Karina

"How?"

"Just use a razor, sit on the bathroom floor and shave it."

"I think it's okay if you don't like to shave it. I've read on the internet that removing your pubic hair make a person more susceptible to infections such as UTIs, vaginitis, and yeast infections. It can also irritate your skin causing skin infections such as cellulitis and folliculitis," sabi ko

"I know but it's kinda embarrassing to have sex and when the guy sees it then," Tiffany paused and covered her face in embarrasment

"It's fine. Some guys don't really mind."

"Curious question din. How do you keep your vagina smelling fresh? I even bought tons of products just to keep it fresh and fragrant," sabi ni Nicole

My lips parted. "Huwag kang gumamit lang ng kung ano ano girl. It might infect your vagina. Just use soap and clean water. And use cotton underwear 'cause it absorbs more moisture than silk. Silk is more expensive and the lacey cuts can be irritating. All vaginas smell! It's not a flower shop. Don't expect it would smell like roses and peaches. It's natural for vaginas to smell. It depends on your diet, hormones, and menstrual cycle. Another thing is that vaginas clean themselves."

"Wow, you sure do have a lot of knowledge about female reproductive system," Aubrey commented

"Duh? Of course. My favorite subject is sex education. As a woman, it's important for us to know these things. If only proper sex education can be normalized these days. To practice safe sex to avoid causing sexual infections like STD's. Nakakainis lang kasi ang daming taong hindi open minded sa mga bagay na ito. It's our own body. We should explore it. Hindi dapat tayo mahiya. Hindi dapat tayo mahiya na pag-usapan ang mga bagay na ito."

"I know but I just feel uncomfortable sometimes. I mean, we don't usually talk about these things 'di ba? I'm just relieved that we can freely talk about it without feeling so uncomfortable," saad ni Nicole

"Babae naman tayo dito tsaka magkakaibigan lahat. Ayos lang yun. Hindi na tayo dapat mahiya pa sa isa't isa," si Aubrey

We all took another shot. Tumawa kami noong unti-unti na kaming nalalasing.

"Patriarchy must fall!" Nicole shouted

"Women rule!"

Ngumisi ako at lumapit sa kanila. "Vaginas are fucking amazing. You know why? Ang dami niyang nagagawa. Some people assume that too much sex can cause vaginal looseness. Guess what? That ain't true bitches. Vaginas are magical muscles that manage to stretch out to push a new human being into this world yet still go back to its original form after a while. So no matter how large or small dicks you put in there, it do not contribute to loss of tightness."

"You know what? You can be a future glycogenolysis instead," ngising sabi ni Nicole na lasing na lasing nadin

Binatukan naman siya ni Karina. "Tanga! Baka gynaecologist! Anong sinasabi mo diyan?!"

We all laughed.

"Ay mali ba ako? Same pronunciation kasi eh. Basta yung trabaho niya about sa female reproductive system!"

"Ayun nga yung sinabi ko!" sigaw niya

I laughed. "Tama na. Tawang tawa na ko sa inyo," sabi ko sabay hawak sa tiyan

"Oo nga. Ako din. Jusko, pakiramdam ko tatagusan na ako kakatawa. Nararamdaman ko nang umaapaw yung dugo sa-"

"Bibig mo naman Aubrey!" sigaw ni Tiffany sabay tawa

"Do you use pads or tampons?" I asked

"Pads. Charmee with wings all night long," she proudly said and took another shot

Inagaw ko ang baso sa kanya at sinalinan din iyon ng alak. "I suggest you wear tampons instead or menstrual cup. I personally use it. Mas hindi ka matatagusan doon, plus it's also environmentally friendly."

"Ha? Ayoko. Natatakot ako gamitin yun. Paano ko ipapasok yun sa loob ng-"

"Hindi naman siya masakit basta maayos mo lang siya ipasok. I swear. It's a life saver. It can last for hours and hours. It's so much better than pads and napkins. Madali lang siya gamitin. Yung menstrual cup pwede mong ire-use. You just have to clean it. Gusto mo, turuan pa kita," I suggested

"No thanks. I'm scared!" she lamented

"Ang arte mo naman! You're afraid of putting a small tampon that has the size of your finger on your vagina but not afraid of a fucking penis?!" Karina blurted

Lahat kami ay nagtawanan sa sinabi niya. Pinagtitinginan na kami ng mga tao dito sa bar pero hindi namin sila pinansin.

"Manahimik na nga tayo. Nakakahiya, ang iingay natin," si Nicole at palihim na tumawa

Umayos kami ng upo at nakipagkwentuhan nalang ng tahimik. 

"How about discharge? You know that white thick substance. Noong una talaga kinabahan ako pagkakita ko no'n sa panty ko. Akala ko may problema na ako sa ovaries o ano," sabi ni Tiffany

"Is it the one that look like cum?" Aubrey asked

"Discharge is normal. It is actually full of good bacteria that helps protect against infection, and exist to lubricate and cleanse the vagina. It's not dirty. It should be white and odorless," I said

"But what if it's not?"

"Then you go better see a doctor sweetie."

Tumango-tango siya sabay iwas ng tingin.

"Sometimes, mine has a bit of a brownish color but it's just a sign that my period is coming up," Nicole commented

"Does size matter to you guys?" napatingin kami kay Tiffany sa tanong niya

I nodded and smirked. "Hey, don't judge me alright."

"Nakapag-send na ba kayo ng nudes?" tanong ni Karina. Lahat kami ay umiling. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, ang bait niyo naman," sabi niya sabay tingin sa'kin. "Maniwala ako sa'yo Tori!"

I laughed. "I've never send nudes. I swear! Delikado na 'no. I'm still precautious and careful."

She still looks skeptical but I didn't mind it. Napailing nalang ako at palihim na ngumiti.

"How do you guys like avoid having camel toes? Maslalo na kapag nagsusuot ako ng leggings o kaya swimsuit, laging bumabakat," sabi ni Nicole

"Ginagawa ko ay nagsusuot ako ng napkin, kapag sa leggings pero bihira lang kasi ako mag-leggings. I'm more on jeans, shorts, and dresses. Syempre dapat makapal yung tela nung biniki, especially sa private areas."

"Fuck. My head is spinning!" hinilot ni Karina ang sentido niya

"Hindi siya umiikot sis. Nasa ulo mo padin," sabi ni Aubrey

"CR lang ako guys," tatayo na sana ako pero biglang may humawak sa bewang ko. Inangat ko ang paningin ko at nakita ang boyfriend ko

"Hey babe," he smirked and kissed me on the cheeck

"Jared? Wh- what are you doing here?" pinilit kong dumilat para mas makita siya. I was already drunk. My vision started to blurr. The alcohol is slowly kicking into my system. I held his shoulders for support. Hinigpitan naman niya ang hawak sa bewang ko.

"Surprise motherfuckers!" I heard Jude's voice

Napatingin ako sa mga bagong dating na si Clyde. May kasama din siyang dalawang lalaki sa likod na hindi ako pamilyar. I thought Ross is with them. Agad silang umupo sa lamesa namin.

"Bakit hindi manlang kayo nagyaya ha?! Ang sakit ah!" Jude sat beside Karina

Clyde went to his girlfriend Nicole. Tumabi naman ang dalawang lalaki kay Aubrey.

"What are you guys doing here? This is a girl's nightout," si Tiffany

"Single ka lang kasi, este- hindi pala. Naka-score nga pala si boss Ross sa'yo," the way he said it sounded dirty to me

Binalik ko ang tingin kay Jared. Nilagpasan ko siya ngunit hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. "Where are you going babe?" malambing niyang sabi

"CR," pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon ay dumiretso na ako sa CR. Kinapa ko ang pader para ibalanse ang sarili. Muntikan pa akong may makabangga na tao. Pinilit kong gisingin ang sarili ko hanggang makapunta sa CR. 

I smiled, half-asleep while taking a piss. Sobrang tagal maubos ng ihi ko. I almost slept in the toilet bowl. Kung hindi lang may kumatok sa cubicle ko ay hindi ako magigising.

"Teka lang!" sambit ko at tumayo na. I then flushed the toilet before going out. 

Dumiretso ako sa lababo at naghugas ng kamay. I smiled and stared at myself in front of the mirror. I looked hotter when drunk. My cheeks are red. It looked like I put a lot of blush. Hindi padin nawawala ang make-up ko. 

I startled when my phone vibrated from my pocket. I rolled my eyes when I saw a message from my mother.

Saan ka nanaman nanggaling? Lumayas ka nanaman nang hindi nagpapaalam. Anong oras na at hindi ka padin umuuwi. At talaga namang ginamit mo nanaman ang kotse ng papa po. Ang tigas talaga ng ulo mo kahit kailan. Sa susunod, hindi na kita papapasukin dito sa bahay.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "E 'di don't! Kung alam niyo lang na ayaw ko nadin umuwi diyan sa inyo," sabi ko sa phone ko at agad na binalik iyon sa bulsa

I suddenly got pissed by her message so I decided to let out my anger outside the bar. I opened my purse and took the pack of cigarettes out. Kumuha ako ng isa at sinindihan iyon ng lighter.

Tumingin ako sa tabi ko at ngayon ko lang napansin na si Ross pala iyon. He also has a cigarrette between his lips but he's struggling to light it. Tinignan ko siya mula ulo hanggang paa. He's wearing a white shirt, a black leather jacket and black pants. Your not so typical bad boy look. 

Lumapit ako sa kanya at sinindihan ang sigarilyo niya. Napatingin siya sa'kin. I only gave him a small smile before returning to my original spot, just a few inches away from him.

"Andito ka pala. I thought you didn't come," I said and stared at the cars parked right in front of us

Hinintay ko ang sagot niya pero wala akong nakuha.

"Bakit ka nandito sa labas? Andoon sila sa loob ah," tanong ko ulit

"Nagpapahangin lang ako. Tsaka, wala din akong pera pang-inom."

Finally, he answered

I smiled weakly.

"Ikaw? Bakit ka nasa labas?" he asked

"Naglalabas ng sama ng loob."

I sighed and puffed my ciggarrette. I watch the smoke slowly vanish in mid-air beneath my eyes. Napatingin ako sa kanya noong bigla siyang umubo. I chuckled. "Still not used to it?"

He cleared his throat and avoided my gaze. He continued to smoke.

"Si Tiffany pala ah," pang-aasar ko. "Do you like her?"

Hindi kaagad siya nakasagot. I looked at him and he couldn't look at me in the eyes. "No. I don't. I'm in love with someone else."

I smirked. "Really huh? In love agad? Sigurado kang love 'yan?"

"Oo-"

"So why did you have sex with her then?" I cut him off

My question caught him off guard. He failed to answer it.

"See? Instead of pursuing the one who you truly 'love,' you had sex with somebody else instead," sabi ko sabay tingin sa kanya

Umiwas siya ng tingin at pumikit ng mariin. "I'm in love with her but I can't have her."

"Bullshit! What do we even know about love anyway? We're just a bunch of fucked up teenagers. Fuck love. That shit ain't real. Your love is fake," I added and puffed on my cigarette

He sighed. "You wouldn't understand."

"Ganun naman palagi niyong sinasabi eh," I smiled bitterly when I remembered one of my exes. 

How can we even understand if you won't tell us? They be telling you they love you but end up leaving you in the end that's why, I'm afraid to commit. Love is stupid. I hate it. Napatunayan ko na iyon sa mga magulang ko.  I'd rather play with love than get played with it.

"Tori," he softly called

Tumingin ako sa kanya. "Bakit?"

He stared at the ground and licked his lips. Kumunot ang noo ko dahil mukha siyang problemado. "May problema ka ba?"

Umiling siya at mapait na ngumiti. "Nothing."

Umihip ang malakas na hangin. Tumaas ang balahibo ko sa lamig. Niyakap ko ang sarili. Naramdaman kong lumapit sa'kin si Ross sa likod ko. He placed his jacket on top of mine. "Hindi ka pa ba papasok sa loob?"

I shook my head and gave him a small smile. "Susunod ako. Kapag okay na ako. You better get inside. Baka hinahanap ka na nila."

He remained beside me, studying my face. "Then I'll stay here with you too, until you're okay."