#BWB03

"Sila ba makakalaban natin?" I asked. I saw them at the bleachers watching the game too.

"Yeah. Our long time rival, St. Townlakes Academy high," sagot ni Karina

"After ng game ng La Salle at UST ay sila ang makakaharap natin sa semis," sabi ni Aubrey

We're here at the Mall of Asia arena watching the UAAP Women's volleyball finals. It's UST vs La Salle. UST is ahead of the game, down to one set away before they earn the spot for the finals. Kung sakaling mapunta kami sa finals ay isa sa kanila ang makakalaban namin. They are both strong schools, we might not stand a chance.

"I thought La Salle would win over UST," sabi ni Nicole sa tabi ko

"Mahina La Salle this year. Ang daming nawala sa kanilang magagaling eh."

"Hindi pa naman tapos ang game. Set two palang at pwede pa silang makahabol," sabi ni Karina

"Sino sa tingin niyo ang mananalo? Ako team green!" si Nicole

"Golden tigresses ako," sabi naman ni Aubrey

"We need to get the crown back to us," mariin kong sabi

"Go UST! Go UST!" the audience cheered loudly

"DLSU Animo La Salle! Go La Salle!" sigaw ng katabi namin

Half of the audience are wearing yellow shirts while half are green to support their school. The crowd never cheered this much loud unlike last season. Mas marami na ngayon ang sumusuporta sa women's volleyball ngayon at nalalapit na ulit ang finals.

"Well, we almost earned the spot for the finals...kung hindi dahil—" Karina paused when Nicole interrupted her

"Hey, we did our best. It's not our fault," Nicole said

"Isang set nalang eh, natalo pa tayo," mariin niyang sabi

"Maybe it's not for us—"

"It's my fault. I'm to blame," I cut them off

Umawang ang labi ni Nicole. Karina just sighed and continued to watch the game.

"Sorry for letting you guys down," kalmado kong sabi habang nanonood

Sobrang dikit na ng laban. Only one point left then UST will win this set. The crowd cheered louder but I was drowned in my own thoughts of the incident last season.

I took a deep breath and looked at the score board above. My team mates are already in position. Karina looked at me and told me to calm down. I was in the serving position. I can see my team mates facing our opponent on the other side of the net. The score is 24-25. Ang kalaban namin ang nangunguna. If I fail to serve this ball on the other side of the net, then we'll lose...but if I succeed, there's a chance for us to change the momentum of the game. This is our last chance. If we lose this set, then we'll not be able to make it to the finals. There's no room for error. This point is very crucial for us.

I stared at the ball. The cheers of the crowed kept ringing inside my head. Sa kabilang tainga ko ay naririnig ko ang cheers sa team ko at sa kabila naman ang kalaban namin. They keep on shouting 'boo!' at our team. It made me feel more pressured and nervous. Malakas ang kalaban namin. Ilang beses na silang nakakapasok sa finals.

Our coach is just beside me, just a few meters outside the court. He shouted at me, telling me to calm down. I nodded and held the ball tightly. Nakita ko din ang mga iba kong team mates na nakaupo sa likod ni coach. Some of them are praying while the others were watching me intently. Halata ang kaba sa mukha nila. I know how much they want to win this. I don't want to disappoint them. Ayokong ako ang magpatalo sa team ko lalo na ako din ang team captain nila.

I swallowed hard. My palms are sweating. My throat felt dry. I'm shaking on the inside. Ramdam ko ang pawis na tumutulo sa noo ko. I can hear the fast beating inside my chest everytime the crowd gets wilder. I tried my best to calm down, mentally.

Focus Tori.

Focus

You got this.

I heard the whistle. That's my signal. I bounce the ball again three times and took a deep breath. I looked at our opponent, searching for a target. Naghanap din ako ng butas kung saan pwedeng itama ang bola. I found a spot at the corner. Naisip ko na doon dalhin ang bola...pero hindi ako sigurado kung matatamaan ko ba iyon. I have to try, at least. Kailangan kong maka-service ace.

I lifted my arm and positioned the ball at the center. Unti-unti akong naglakad sabay tumalon at malakas na hinampas ang bola. Everything went in slow motion. My eyes are fixed on the ball that's high up in the air. It passed the net successfully. My lips parted. It slowly went to the libero who's waiting at the back. I thought she'd hit it but instead, she moved away. Lumagpas sa kanya ang bola at bumagsak ang bola sa labas ng court.

I heard a short whistle. The two men who's guarding at the sides, raised their flags indicating that the ball went out.

"Out!" the referee announced

And for the very first time. I felt like I was a big failure.

I got back to my senses when the crowd cheered wildly. Halos mabingi ako sa sigaw nila. I was still in shock. My team mates approached me. Everything was a blur. Hindi ko marinig ang boses nila. I felt someone tapped my back but my eyes are fixed on our opponent who's celebrating. I looked at my team mates at the bench and the sad look on their faces made my heart ache. But what really made me shiver was the moment when my eyes landed on my coach. He's looking at me and shook his head in disappointment.

"Bakit naman in-out mo yung bola?! Ang sabi ko 'di ba iserve mo lang ng maayos? Alam ko yung ginawa mo eh. Humanap ka pa talaga ng butas," inis niyang sabi

Nakatanggap ako ng sermon kay coach pagkatapos ng pagkatapos ng game. Hindi ako makatingin sa kanya. Nakayuko lang ako habang pinapagalitan niya ako.

I swallowed hard. "E coach, gusto ko lang naman—"

"Mag-service ace?" he cut me off

I slowly nodded.

"Eh alam mong crucial na yung sitwasyon natin 'di ba? Dapat kapag gano'n, inisip mo nalang na ipasok yung bola. Nag-time pa tayo 'di ba para pag-usapan yung magiging posisyon ninyo. Kinabahan ka ba ha?"

Umiling ako. "Hindi po. Masyado lang napalakas yung palo ko."

He sighed heavily. Hinilot niya ang sentido niya.

"Kung pinasok mo lang talaga yung bola ng maayos at hindi mo na inisip yung," he paused. "Wala ka bang tiwala sa team mates mo?"

Unti-unti akong napatingin sa kanya. "Po?"

"Magagawa naman natin ng paraan eh pero mukhang inunahan ka ng kaba. Nagmamadali ka ba Tori?"

Umiling ako. "Sorry coach," sabi ko at yumuko ulit

"Wala na. Tapos na ang laban. Team captain ka pa naman din," he sighed and walked out of me

Nanatili ang mata ko sa sahig. I looked  at my team mates behind me. Hindi ko silang kayang titigan ng matagal. I feel so embarassed. Kinahihiya ko ang sarili ko sa kanila. Nakita kong unti-unti akong nilapitan ni Nicole.

"Tori—"

"I'm s-sorry."

And that was the last thing that I said to them before I ran away.

"Hey babe..."

Bumalik ako sa realidad nung bigla akong kinalabit ni Jared. Tumingin ako sa likod. Nakalimutan kong kasama nga pala namin ang boys. They are seated just right behind us.

"You okay?" he asked

I forced smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine."

He smiled back and went back to his seat. I saw the rest of my friends focused on the game. Meanwhile, nahuli kong nakatingin sa'kin si Ross na may halong pag-aalala sa mukha.

Umiwas ako ng tingin at umayos ng upo. Bigla akong nairita sa ingay ng mga tao. My girl friends beside me are laughing while watching the game. I'm the only one who's not in the mood.

I stood up and put my large duffel bag on my shoulder.

"Oh, Tori. Saan ka pupunta?" tanong ni Nicole

"CR lang ako."

"Dala-dala mo pa iyan?" sabi niya sabay turo ang bag ko

"May training tayo after nitong game 'di ba? Magpapalit na ako."

Nagkatinginan ang mga kaibigan ko. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Ross listening at us. I ignored him.

"Magpapalit ka na agad? Maaga pa," sabi ni Karina

"Mag-tetraining ako ng maaga," sabi ko at tinalikuran na sila

I excused myself to the people sitting on our lane. I heard my friends called me but I ignored them. Honestly, I'm not really gonna change clothes. Uuwi na ako ng dorm. I just don't want to be there anymore.

"Fuck, why won't you light up?!" I said while trying to light my cigarette for the third time

I sighed in relief when I finally light it up. I leaned on the wall and puffed my cigarette. Pumikit ako at dinama ang usok na pumasok sa dibdib ko. It felt good.

I don't smoke that often. It's actually been months since I quit. I smoke whenever I feel stressed and right now, I feel the worst. I puffed my cigarette and watch the smoke rise up in the air until it slowly disappears.

"Ay, kababaing tayo nagyoyosi. Sana anak, huwag kang gumaya sa kanya."

Narinig ko ang usapan ng mga matatanda kasama ang anak nila. Agad silang lumayo noong nakita nila akong nagsisigarilyo sa gilid ng daan. Inirapan ko sila at binuga sa gilid ang usok.

I've been called worse honestly but it never really bothered me. I got used to it anyway. Fuck them.

Pangit sa babae ang may tattoo. Mukhang adik.

Pangit sa babae ang nagmumura. Walang modo.

Pangit sa babae ang nagyoyosi.

Pangit sa babae ang umiinom.

Kapag hindi na virgin, pokpok ang tawag. Baka maagang mabuntis.

Kapag mababa ang grades, bobo.

Lahat na ata natawag na sa'kin.

Well, I'm not a good role model to the youth. I don't give a fuck what people call me.

My phone vibrated from my pocket. I saw a message from instagram. I swiped it and saw Ross' username.

rossclifford

Saan ka?

I stared blankly at his message. I puffed my cigarette, thinking of a reply.

Why does he even care? The fuck.

I sent him a middle finger emoji telling him to fuck off. Sana naman naintindihan niya ang ibig kong ipahiwatig.

I puffed on my cigarrette one last time before dropping it on the floor, then stepped on it. Nagsimula na ulit akong maglakad pauwi ng dorm.

"Mine!" sigaw ni Karina

She backed away, getting ready for the attack. I positioned myself in front of her, ready to block her spike. Tinimingan ko ang talon niya. I bent my knees and jumped high as I can and stretched my arms wide at the net. I felt the ball hit my hand but it went through. Narinig ko nalang ang malakas na pagbagsak ng bola sa sahig sa likod ko.

"Nice one!" my friends cheered on the side

Pinunasan ko ang pawis ko at hinabol ang hininga. I looked at Karina in front of me who's smiling in victory. Tipid akong ngumiti sa kanya.

"Nice one," sabi ko

"Thanks," she replied and turned her back on me

"Water break!" my team mate shouted

I walked to the benches where out bags are placed. Kinuha ko ang tumbler ko at uminom doon.

"Girls! I have some important announcement!" rinig kong tawag ng coach namin

Pagkatapos namin uminom ay lumapit kaming lahat kay coach. Nakapabilog kaming lahat.

"Ano po iyon coach?" Denise asked, one of my team mates

"Since maraming seniors na gumraduate sa inyo at nawala. Magkakaroon tayo ng bagong team captain," sabi ni coach sabay tingin saming lahat

My brows raised. "A new team captain? Am I not the team captain?"

"Yes Tori but that was last year. Ako na ang bago niyong coach, which means may bago akong rules."

Nagkatinginan kaming lahat. We were all fifteen girls. Some were surprised but the others remained silent, especially the newcomers.

"And who will be the team captain?" someone asked

Hindi ko inalis ang tingin kay coach. Nakita kong tumingin siya kay Karina.

"That would be Miss Lazaro," he said and pointed at her

Napatingin kaming lahat kay Karina. Her eyes widened but I feel like she already knew that she's gonna be the new captain.

Nicole jumped in excitement. "Omg bestie! Congrats!" she said and hugged her

Pinalakpakan namin siya. All of them were happy that Karina is the new captain. Pinalubutan siya ng team mates namin. They congratulated her.

"Karina! Congrats! Well deserve!"

"Omg! Sabi na ikaw pipiliin ni coach eh."

"I'm sure mananalo na tayo nito!"

"Ang galing kaya ni Karina. Nagulat nga din ako nung nalaman ko na hindi pala siya yung team captain nung umpisa...but I'm happy now!"

"Karina! Karina! Karina!"

Hindi maalis ang ngiti sa labi niya. Bumaba ang mata ko sa sahig. I smiled weakly.

Unti-unti akong naglakad palapit sa kanya. "Congrats Karina. You deserve it. Ipapasa ko na sa'yo ang korona," I said and acted it out

She chuckled. "Thank you!" she held the invisible crown on her head and waved at us like a Miss Universe candidate

I honestly feel happy for her. I don't feel bitter. Why would I? She's my friend. Masaya ako para sa kanya.

She deserved being the team captain more than I do. She's a great player. One of the MVP's. I'm sure she'll handle the team well and I'm sure she'll be a great leader to us.

"Don't worry Tori. I won't make the same mistake you did last year."

Unti-unting nawala ang ngiti sa labi ko. She smiled and continued to celebrate with the rest of our team mates.

"Now that you're the team captain, anong pakiramdam? Anong masasabi mo?" tanong ni Nicole

She smiled. "Well first, I'd like to thank coach for trusting me. I'm so happy and nervous at the same time but I promise to be a great leader. I won't disappoint you guys. Huwag din kayong matakot sa'kin, especially sa mga baguhan, sa mga first years. Hindi po ako nangangagat. Inside the court we are all team mates but oustide, we're all sister so...yeah, I hope we all get along well."

Pinalakpan ulit namin siya. Ilang sandali ay bumalik kami sa training.

"Tori," tawag sa'kin ni Nicole

"Oh?" sabi ko at malakas na hinampas ang bola sa kabilang net

"Tawag ka ni coach."

"Ha?" tumingin ako kay coach. He waved his hand gesturing me to come to him. Tumakbo ako palapit sa kanya.

"Yes coach?" I asked, still catching my breath

I realized that our new coach is much more strict than our previous one. Mas mahirap din ang training niya sa'min. He has set new rules for us. It was a hard adjustment but I knew that we're improving and getting stronger.

"Ano nga ulit posisiyon mo sa court?"

"Middle blocker po."

I admit. He's quite intimidating. I knew he's already strict the first time I saw him stepped on the court.

"Yun na talaga posisiyon mo kahit noon pa?"

"Opo."

Tinignan niya ako mula ulo hanggang paa. "Sabagay matangkad ka."

Tipid akong ngumiti at hinigpitan ang pagkatali ng ponytail ko.

"Napapansin ko kasi na, oo matangkad ka nga pero ang baba ng talon mo. Ilang years ka na simulang maglaro?"

I gulped. "Since first year college pa po."

He scoffed. "First year? Sure ka? Tapos third year ka na ngayon pero hindi ka pa gaanong magaling."

Napakurap-kurap ako. "Excuse me?"

He looked at me again from head to foot. "Masyado kang payat. Wala kang muscles sa katawan. You should try lifting weights, especially your thighs."

Tumingin ako sa katawan ko. "Nag-eexercise naman po ako."

"Oo pero kumain ka ng marami para magkalaman ka naman. Buto't balat ang katawan mo eh."

"Kumakain naman po ako, sadyang ganito lang ang katawan ko."

He sighed, frustrated.

Eversince I was a kid, I was body shamed. I was born skinny. I'm 5'7 but I only weigh 45 kilograms. My waist is 24 inches. Underweight ko. It's one of my problems, and my insecurities. I'm trying my best to gain weight but we all have different body types. I was born this way. What can I do? Kahit ano'ng kain ko ay hindi ako nataba. Sabi ng iba ay swerte ko daw...pero sa totoo lang ay hindi ako natutuwa sa compliments nila na gano'n. Some poeple think I have an eating disorder, that I look sick, that I look like a living skeleton. I think fat shaming is equally as worse as skinny shaming. People should really stop body shaming. It can affect one's mental health.

"Napapansin ko din na mabilis kang hingalin. Mabilis mapagod. Naisip ko na baka hindi ka kumakain ng tama."

I bit my lip. "About that po. Medyo mabilis nga din po akong mapagod."

"Naku, baka hindi mo kayanin ang training ko."

"Kaya ko coach," mariin kong sabi habang nakatitig sa kanya

He stared at me for a few seconds, studying my face.

Magsasalita pa sana ako pero biglang may tumawag sa'kin sa likod.

"Tori!"

"Bakit?" sigaw ko pabalik kay Nicole

"May tumatawag sa'yo."

Nakita kong umiinom siya ng tubig katabi ng mga bags namin na nakapatong sa bench. Nagpaalam ako kay coach at tumakbo palapit sa kanya.

"Kanina pa nagriring," she said

"Thanks."

Agad kong binuksan ang bag ko at kinuha ang phone ko sa loob. I sighed when I saw mom's name on the caller I.D.

"Hello ma—"

"Tori. Asaan ka? Nakauwi ka na ba?"

"I'm still at school."

"Anong oras uwi mo?"

"Asa training pa ako. Bakit?"

"Pwede mo bang puntahan yung kapatid mo sa school. Tumawag kasi sa'kin yung office. Pinapapunta ako."

"Oh, bakit 'di ikaw ang pumunta?"

Umupo ako sa bench at pinanood ang mga team mates ko na naglalaro.

"Sinamahan ko ang papa mo magpacheck-up. Medyo matatagalan pa kami. Hindi ko naman siya pwedeng iwan dito."

I rolled my eyes. "So bakit ako?"

"Dalian mo nalang pwede."

Aba, siya pa ang galit ah.

"Bakit ba kasi nasa office si Adam? Ano nanamang ginawa no'n?" kumunot ang noo ko sa inis

Hindi agad siya nakasagot.

"Ano kasi...hindi ako nakapag bayad ng tuition niya kaya hindi siya nakapag-exam ngayon. Magbabayad nga dapat ako kaso nalimutan ko."

I scoffed. "Sarili mong anak nakalimutan mo—" I stopped and sighed

"Kaya nga inuutusan kita. Puntahan mo na si Adam sa school niya."

Napakamot ako sa ulo ko sa sobrang inis. "Dadaanan ko nalang siya pagkatapos ng training ko—"

"Magpaalam ka muna saglit sa coach mo. Kawawa naman yung kapatid mo, kanina pa naghihintay doon. Paki-usapan mo nalang muna yung principal. Bukas na bukas magbabayad na ako."

I aggressively ran my fingers through my hair. Gusto kong sumigaw. Pumikit ako at pinakalma ang sarili. I'm trying my best not to curse at my mom. Parang anytime, malapit na akong sumabog.

"Tori," ulit niya

"Papunta na," sabi ko at agad na binabaan siya ng tawag

Sa sobrang inis ay sinipa ko ang bola na gumulong sa paanan ko. Tumayo ako at agad na niligpit ang mga gamit.

Putang ina talaga.

Paano ako ngayon magpapaalam kay coach?

"Tori! Laro na tayo!" tawag sa'kin ng mga team mates ko

I forced a smile at them.

Nakita ko si coach na nakatayo lang sa gilid habang pinapanood ang mga team mates ko maglaro sa court. Hindi ko alam kung kanino hihingi ng tulong dahil lahat ng kaibigan ko ay naglalaro. I'm also not sure if coach will allow me to go. He's new. Hindi ko pa siya pwede pakiusapan unlike our last coach that I'm more comfortable with.

Sa huli ay nilakasan ko ang loob ko at nilapitan siya.

"Coach," sabi ko

"Oh?" hindi niya inalis ang paningin sa naglalarong players sa gitna

"Magpapaalam po sana ako na umalis."

This is it Victoria. It's your time to show your acting skills. Goodluck to me.

"Ha? Saan ka pupunta? Nagtatraining pa tayo. Hindi pwede."

"Si mama po kasi...sinugod po siya sa o-ospital," nabasag ang boses ko

Kumunot ang noo niya. Tinignan ko ang mata niya at nagpaawa. "Ano? Anong nangyari sa mama mo?"

Yumuko ako at humikbi. "May s-sakit po kasi siya. Tinawagan po ako kanina ni papa," sabi ko sabay pakita sa phone ko. "S-sinabi niya sa'kin na sinugod daw si mama sa ospital. Kailangan ko po siyang puntahan."

Hindi ko alam pero bigla na lamang kusang may tumulong luha sa mata ko. Agad ko iyong pinunasan.

"Ganun ba? O sige," sabi niya at mabilis na tumango

I pressed my lips. "Sorry coach. B-bawi nalang po ako next training. Pasensiya na po t-talaga," sabi ko at yumuko

"Sige na, puntahan mo na ang mama mo. Mag-iingat ka," sabi niya sabay tapik sa likod ko

I slowly nodded. "Thank you coach."

Pagkatapos kong mag-paalam ay mabilis akong tumakbo palabas ng court. I saw my guy friends walking approach my direction. My boyfriend Jared, Jude, Clyde, and Ross. Lahat sila ay nakasuot ng basketball jersey. They look like they just finished their training. Pawisan at halatang pagod pero patuloy sila sa pagtawanan.

"Oh, hey Tori!" masiglang bati sa'kin ni Jude

"Putang ina mo huwag mo kong kausapin," hindi ko sila sinulyapan at dire-diretso silang nilagpasan

"Tang ina mo din!" sigaw niya pabalik

I rolled my eyes. I'm so angry right now. Naiinis ako tuwing may nakakasalubong akong tao na masama ang tingin sa'kin. I know, I look like I'm about to kill someone. Again, I don't care what they think of me.

Nagcommute lang ako papunta sa school ng magaling kong kapatid. I didn't even have the time to change clothes. Pawisan padin ako. The weather is fucking hot too and it irritates me. Pakiramdam ko ang dumi dumi ko at ang baho ko.

Naiinis din ako dahil magkakadikit ang mga balat namin sa jeep. I'm literally sitting straight like a stick while my hands are folded at my lap. Hindi ako gumagalaw. Diretso lamang ang tingin ko sa labas ng bintana. Tuwing tumatama ang balat ng katabi ko sa'kin ay gusto ko siyang sipain palabas ng jeep.

I sighed in frustration.

I hate people.

Pagkadating ko sa school ng kapatid ko ay nakasalubong ko ang mga estudyante at magulang. I passed by a bunch of kids and I saw they were bullying someone. I ignored them. Diretso lamang ang lakad ko hanggang makapasok sa loob.

"Excuse me. Where's the office?" I asked one of the teachers

"That way po ma'am," she replied and pointed me the way

Tumango ako at mabilis na naglakad papunta sa pinto na tinuro niya. I saw the sign 'principal's office.' I knocked twice before entering. I immediately saw my brother on the sofa. Nakayuko lang siya habang pinaglalaruan ang daliri. Napalingon siya sa pintuan. Nagtama ang mata namin.

"Ate!" bigla siyang napatayo

"Excuse me but may I help you miss?"

I closed the door shut and lazily looked at the old lady on the table, which I assume, is the principal. "I'm here for my brother."

Napatingin siya sa kapatid ko. "Ahh..kayo po pala ang ate ni Adam."

"Yeah."

Lumapit ako sa kanila.

"Asaan si mama? Bakit ikaw—"

"Inutusan lang ako," diretso kong sabi sa kapatid ko

"Uh, ma'am.."

I shifted my gaze back to the principal. "Bukas nalang ho kami magbabayad ng tuition. Nakalimutan kasi ng magaling kong—" I paused and rephrased my sentence. "Ng nanay ko."

I took my brother's backpack on the sofa. "Let's go," sabi ko sa kanya

Nakatingin lang siya sa'kin. "Ate. Hindi pa namin dismissal."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Exam niyo 'di ba? E 'di half-day lang kayo."

The principal cleared her throat. Napatingin kaming pareho sa kanya. "Mawalang galang po ma'am. Nasa office po tayo. Konting respeto po. Pag-usapan po sana natin ng tahimik."

I roamed my eyes around the office and every employee is watching us. Tinaasan ko lang sila ng kilay. Agad silang bumalik sa trabaho.

"Kaya po nandito ang kapatid niyo dahil—"

"Hindi niyo siya pinag-exam kasi hindi nakapag-bayad agad," I cut her off

Her lips parted, but later turned into an awkward smile. She sat down on her desk. She gestured me to seat too but I shook my head.

"Mawalang galang nadin po ma'am," I paused and looked at the plaque placed on her desk. Binasa ko ang pangalan niya na naka-ukit doon. "Ma'am Josefina."

Binalik ko ang tingin sa kanya. "Hindi ko maintindihan bakit hindi niyo pinag-exam ang kapatid ko. Dahil ano? Na-late lang ang payment? What kind of bull—" I paused and faked a smile at her

"Excuse me ma'am. May rules po kasi kami na 'no payment, no exam.' Alam naman na po iyon ng parents ninyo dahil may Parent's Conference kami every month. Hindi na iyon bago. Kung alam nila na mag-eexam na ay dapat magbayad agad. Asaan ba ang magulang ninyo? Mas mabuti kung sila mismo ang—"

I placed my hands on top of her desk, towering over her. "Bakit kayo ganyang mga catholic schools? Hindi ba kayo naaawa sa mga estudyante? Sa kapatid ko? Delayed lang kami ng isang araw tapos hindi niyo na siya pinag-exam? Mukha ba talaga kayong pera?"

Her jaw dropped. She removed her glasses and scoffed. "Anong kabastusan ang lumalabas sa bibig mo? Wala ka bang respeto? Ako ang principal dito," mariin niyang sabi

Wala kang kwentang principal. I want to say that to her. I know there are no perfect schools but I hate it when they make money out of students.

"Ate naman!" hinila ni Adam ang t-shirt ko pero hindi ko siya pinansin

Hindi ko inalis ang paningin ko sa principal. "You call this school Catholic but your morals and values say otherwise. Ang strict niyo pagdating sa uniform, sa haircut ng boys, sa itsura, bawal ang tattoos, nail polish, make-up, sa kulay ng medyas, sa plantsa ng uniform, sa lovelife ng estudyante, pati sa exam," I began.

"Pero pagdating sa bullying, sexual harassment, illegal teacher and student relationship, mental health at sexuality ng estudyante, ay wala kayong pake. Pagtapak na pagtapak ko palang dito ay may nakasalubong na agad akong estudyante na may binubully na kapwa niya estudyante."

School should be their second home but sad to say that some students feel like they're in hell.

"Ang galing niyong mangielam sa buhay namin, pati outside ng school, pero kapag kayo ang nagkamali ay okay lang," sabi ko habang nakatitig sa mga mata niya

Her jaw dropped. She clenched her jaw in anger while glaring at me. "How dare you say that in front of the principal!"

"And how dare you for not letting my brother take the exam," I fired back

"Wala kang respeto. Halatang hindi ka pinalaki ng magulang mo ng maayos!"

I scoffed. Now she's dragging my parents into this. God, this bitch is annoying as fuck. I swear. She's really testing my patience huh?

"I once came from a Catholic school. I suffered for four years. Ang masasabi ko lang ay ang toxic ng naging environment ko at wala akong natutunan sa inyo."

"Ate Tori! Tama na!" sigaw ng kapatid ko sabay hila ng braso ko

Matalim padin ang tingin sa'kin ng babae. Mabibigat ang bawat paghinga niya. I flashed a fake smile at her.

"Tara na," tuluyan na akong hinila ni Adam palayo

Hindi ko inalis ang paningin sa babae. She's still glaring at me. I stared blankly at her until she disappeared out of my sight. Tuluyan na kaming nakalabas ng principal's office.

Hinanap ko ang kapatid ko at nakita siyang naglalakad palayo. I sighed in frustration.

"Hey!" I yelled at him

"Go away."

I scoffed. Ikaw na nga itong tinulungan ko tapos nag iinarte ka diyan.

I grabbed his arm and turned his body to face me. "Anong problema mo?"

He was breathing heavily. Nakakunot ang noo niya habang nakatitig sa'kin.

"Are you glaring at me?! Seriously?"

"Why did you have to do that?! Nakakahiya yung ginawa mo."

I smiled bitterly and looked away. "Nakakahiya? Nagsasabi lang ako ng totoo—"

"You're rude to her. Sumagot ka sa principal ko mismo at ang daming taong nakakita sa office. Why did you have to cause a scene?!"

Tumayo ako ng tuwid. "At yung ginawa niya sa'yo, sa tingin mo tama?! Kung hindi pa ako dumating, ilang oras ka pa ulit maghihintay, baka abutin ka ng uwian."

He's still glaring at me. He's slowly clenched his fist in anger.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Ano? Bakit hindi ka makasagot? Huwag mo nga akong artehan diyan. Ang laki laki mo na. Ano? Ako ang may mali? Ako ang kontrabida? Sila nga itong pinaghintay ka sa office ng matagal eh."

"Still. You should have talked to them kindly," malamig niyang sagot

Kind is not in my vocabulary.

"I wish Ate Olivia is here instead of you. Things would have been different."

Umawang ang labi ko sa sinabi niya. I swallowed hard and forced a smile. "Sige, pumunta ka nading abroad kagaya niya."

We have an older sister. Her name is Olivia. She's in America, living the best life. May maganda siyang trabaho at may malaking sahod. Siya lang naman ang paborito nilang anak.

"I hate you!" he shouted and walked out in front of me

Well, I guess I'm the worst sister and daughter ever. I did not even sign up for this shit!

Kinagabihan ay nakatanggap ako ng sermon kay mama.

"Ano ba naman iyan Victoria! Tumawag sa'kin ang principal at nagsumbong. Puro kabastusan daw ang sinabi mo sa kanya. Ano bang nangyari? Sabi ko 'di ba, sunduin mo lang ang kapatid mo?! Anong mahirap doon? Bakit kailangan mong gumawa ng eksena? Galit ka ba ha? Na inutusan ka namin?! Bihira ka na nga lang utusan tapos palagi ka pang galit. Anong problema mo?" sabi niya sa kabilang linya

Buti nalang talaga ay wala ako sa bahay ngayon. Siguradong mababaliw ako. I expected this to happen. The principal must have told them everything. Siguradong sinumbong din ako ng kapatid ko.

I did what they told me to do but I guess I only made things worse.

I sighed and held my phone tightly. "Sa susunod, mag-advance payment na kayo!" sigaw ko at binabaan siya ng tawag