Cameron's POV

"Cameron, you're doing it again. Stop."

I felt the bed shift next to me and heard a whiney voice complain because I was disturbing her beauty sleep. It didn't matter to her that I was restless because of the nightmares that replayed in my head every single time I closed my eyes. All she cared about was the fact that I was bothering her.

I hated this woman, but she was easy to get to bed. She had wanted to sleep with me for years, but I was too busy chasing the wild girl with the too-big captivating blue eyes. One day, a couple of months ago, I finally gave in after a night of excessive drinking with Ron and the guys. She pulled my drunk ass behind some cars in the parking lot of the bar and got down on her knees to suck me off. I didn't even put up a fight.

I was desperate to feel something again after being so numb and she took advantage of my momentary weakness.

That night I took her home and used her to make myself feel better. I pounded my dick into her as I closed my eyes and pretended that I was inside the woman I had loved my whole life. When I came inside the condom, I was picturing Jessa's beautiful body writhing in pleasure beneath me. I could still clearly see the way she used to bite her lip and look slightly worried when she was about to lose herself to my touch.

Imagining that face even now made my dick hard. I could feel my tip moisten as I dreamt about sliding between Jessa's soft thighs. She would take all of me inside her and grip me like she never wanted to let me go.

Kelly wasn't soft like Jessa. Kelly didn't make the faces she made. Kelly was never going to be her. No one would ever be my Jessa.

Jessa was gone. She wasn't coming back to me.

It had been two years since she left for the tour and told me to move on—two full years since I stormed out of that house and tried to erase her from my life. I was so angry with her that day that I did the one thing I swore I would never do.

I gave up on her.

Or I thought I did, at least. It never actually worked. The more my head tried to forget her, the harder my body fought to hold on. Every waking thought was consumed by her; every dream turned into a nightmare where her face haunted me. Every breath I took sounded like her name.

Jessa was my perfect obsession. She had been my whole life.

I laid in the dark room, wondering if she ever thought about me anymore. Probably not; she always had been just out of my reach. Over the years I spent watching her, I had learned to give her the space she needed to run free and she would always find her way back to me. She was like a pendulum swinging back and forth, taunting me as she inched closer. When I finally caught her this time, she crumbled and slipped through my fingers like sand. It was a cruel joke fate was playing on me. I had never had her; no one could possess that kind of perfection.

Would she think I was pathetic for still thinking about her the way I did? I didn't really want that answer. I just wanted her.

I had spent hours every day stalking her social media sites and checking the tracking app that I had installed on her phone. That app was how I found her the day she went after Jenna to try to save her brother. I never told her I installed it on her phone. I only put it there because I didn't trust her and it was a good way to watch her without her knowing. I could still see the look on her face when she walked into the bathroom looking for her phone. She almost caught me, so I lied to her and told her she brought it in the room when she came in. I used her condition against her at that moment, letting her think she was forgetting things again.

I wasn't sorry for what I did to her and I would do it all over again. It was the only reason my girl was still alive right now.

After the Jenna incident, I thought about uninstalling the tracker. In fact, I went to go do it one night, but Jessa woke up before I could. I never had another chance and I honestly didn't really want to do it either. So it stayed, which meant I still could find her without her knowing. As long as she kept the same user on any phone she purchased, I could still find her. The app would download in the background when she transferred data and she wouldn't even have a clue it was there.

It was the last thing I had to keep me tethered to her.

I picked up my phone from the nightstand to check on her. She was at that nightclub again. She was probably sitting on the lap of that pretty boy I had been seeing her with on the cover of the tabloids.

An instant pang of jealousy consumed me. Jessa was mocking me at every turn. I couldn't go anywhere without hearing her name or seeing her face. It was making my head sick even thinking about it.

Imagine my shock when I saw her face this morning staring at me from the cover of a magazine at the grocery store checkout. She was spotted again at a nightclub with Stells and the paparazzi went crazy. They were always chasing her. I didn't blame them; she was a masterpiece. I was still jealous that they got to be that close to her while I was here in Ohio, drooling over the way her creamy skin looked on the cover of her album.

The pictures of her in the nightclub made my blood boil. She was in her trademark teeny mini schoolgirl skirt she had developed an obsession with. She and Stells Leigh usually had on a matching set when they went out. The only difference between their outfits was Jessa was wearing a high-necked lace crop top and Stells had on something made out of the same fabric that looked like a bra. I would have much rather seen Jess in the bra-like shirt than Stells, but I would take what I could get.

I had noticed Jess had started wearing things with a higher neck or some outfit that was accompanied by a choker after her face started getting plastered all over magazines. My girl had become self-conscious about the scar on her neck after some insensitive asshole made rude remarks about it online. Her scar made her more beautiful; she should never hide it. She was a survivor and should be proud of it.

There was some pretty boy sitting next to Jessa in one of the pictures. He had his hand creeping between her legs as she leaned in, laughing to Stells. In another picture, he was wrapping his arms around her, holding onto her perfect, round ass. He probably had his hands all over it right now, pushing himself in and out of her sweetness and telling her she was the only one. His breath would be in her hair as she gave him the moans that were supposed to be mine.

Like a dumbass, I picked up the magazine and read the article while I was waiting.

The caption on the photos said, "Jessa Miller and Sven Leigh getting hot and heavy with some public PDA." If all the rumors were true, Jessa and this guy had been going to town on each other all over every city in America on the tour. Every time I turned around, there was another photo of him touching or kissing her. She was always smiling up at him like he was the only person in the room.

He was standing where I should have been.

I bought the damn magazine. It was under my mattress right now with her album cover, which I was about to pull out to stare at again.

I sat up and reached down to grab it. I flipped to my favorite picture. She was looking at the camera with her mouth slightly parted open. I went to go climb off the bed to go to the bathroom. I had to relieve the pressure and drain myself before it became too much. Maybe I could finally sleep tonight if I finished while looking at her picture again. It was the only thing that ever helped me find my inner serenity.

"What are you doing?" Kelly asked in a hoarse whisper when I slid off the bed.

"I need to get off," I replied.

I had no shame. I didn't care what she thought about me.

"I can help with that." She smiled and sat up eagerly. Her overly large breasts bounced as her body shifted. She pulled the blanket down to make sure I saw them, which annoyed me.

"I don't want to have sex. I will just be a second."

"I didn't say anything about sex." She smiled.

She was always so desperate, which turned me off. I liked the thrill of the chase and she would just lay there with her legs spread wide open, waiting for me. In fact, I never even really touched her or talked to her other than when I let her get me off. We had never kissed and I never even bothered to make sure she was satisfied. She was just always there when I needed to let go.

Kelly got up and pulled me back to the bed. She sat me down on the edge and climbed on her knees in front of me. She was naked and rubbing herself as she took me in her mouth. I leaned back and closed my eyes. I pictured the dirty girl from the album cover looking up at me with her big blue eyes innocently. I wanted Jessa's plump lips wrapped around me; I wanted to feel her tongue running along the vein underneath. I wanted to come down her throat and watch her swallow it all down as she licked me clean. When she finished, I would ask Jessa to open her mouth to show me she was such a good girl for me.

I pulled my dick out of Kelly's mouth. She wasn't doing the trick for me. Her mouth didn't do the things Jessa's did; it wasn't even close. I didn't even have the patience to try to convince myself tonight.

I stroked myself as I imagined Jessa in that little skirt from the magazine with no panties on. She had her leg lifted up with her completely shaved little pussy in front of my face. She was so close to me; I could almost taste her arousal on my tongue. She was moaning my name as she touched herself for me.

"Cami, do you think I'm still pretty?" Jessa asked, taking her fingers in further.

I moaned as I watched edge herself closer for me.

My gorgeous girl sunk down on her knees in front of me and licked her lips as she looked up into my eyes.

"Open your mouth," I growled at her.

She nodded without saying a word and leaned in closer.

Within seconds, I reached down and grabbed a fist full of hair to hold her in place. I shoved my dick in her mouth and thrusted hard and fast into the back of her throat.

"Jessa." I moaned loudly as the last drop left my body. I was grinning like a mad man as I filled her pretty little mouth.

I felt a sharp stinging sensation across my cheek as her arm flew up to slap me.

What the hell was that for?

When I came down from my pleasure-induced high, I saw Kelly still down on her knees in front of me. She rose up and stormed out of the room. She was cursing and spitting on the ground when she left.

Shit.