"Took you long enough." Nathan was upstairs in the studio loft. He was sitting on the couch shirtless as usual with a mirrored plate in front of him. On the plate were a few lines he was in the middle of cutting when I walked in.

The place hadn't changed one bit since I was here last.  It was an absolute disaster like always. There were half-empty beer bottles and various types of drug paraphernalia lying out in the open. It was an oasis for the lost.  The place that could help quench the thirst of addiction after a long trek through the desert of sobriety.

I would be lying to myself if I said it didn't tempt me, even if it did repulse every cell in my body. My resolve was on the low end of non-existent; I couldn't turn the addict portion off no matter how hard I fought against it.

Nate's eyes lowered as he studied my borrowed outfit. His eyes went straight to the academy logo covering one of my breasts. He snickered, knowing exactly what I had been up to last night. I knew I looked like a train wreck, but I didn't care what he thought.  I wasn't here to impress him. I just wanted him out of my life.

I walked over in front of Nathan and threw the stack of money at his face. I had gone and pulled it out from my bank account before I came here.  It was a risky move. I was expecting a phone call any minute from Link about the sizeable transaction. Pulling out that sum of cash looked suspicious, but I didn't care what anyone assumed.  They could lock me up again at a treatment center again as long as this was over.  Three months in a facility would still be better than the years of torment I had gone through with Nathan.

I felt instantly lighter as the money left my hands and went into his.  It was done. This was finished.

I was finally rid of this jackass for good. I would have given him every dime to my name if it meant I never had to see him again.  This was a small price to pay to feel safe again.

He could fucking choke on the money for all I cared.

He stared up at me in surprise.  He actually looked shocked, like he didn't expect me to pay him off. The twisted look on his face told me he wanted the drama to linger a little longer. He wanted to see me pleading with him to stop.  He thought I was the naive, weak-willed girl he hurt so long ago, but I wasn't her anymore.  Nathan Webster wasn't going to get to see my fear. If I gave it to him, he would pluck it from me and use it to manipulate me like he always did. I couldn't let him win.

I began to walk out of the room without saying a word to him. He had nothing to say that I would want to hear and I had nothing left I wanted to talk with him about.  He was less valuable to this world than a piece of chewed gum stuck under the counter at a candy shop. He was nothing and never had been.  He had never been worth it.

It may have taken longer than it should, but I finally realized something extremely important. Just because I was born damaged, didn't mean I deserved to be broken down further by this poor excuse of a man.

"What, no blow job for old time's sake?" He laughed at me as I began to walk out of the door.  He was always fucking laughing at me. My blood began to boil as the blind rage had every muscle in my body spasming at once. I should just walk away and let it be, but that wasn't who I was. The scorching heat raced to the surface and I lost control of myself.

I never learned my lesson. I always had to have the last word.

I spun around angrily, wanting to put my hands around his throat just like he did to me years ago.  Seeing my blackened fingerprints on his neck would thrill me to no end.  I knew there would be no way I could overpower him physically, but a girl could dream.

"You will never touch me again," I screamed as the repressed, hurt girl overtook me. I had never been one to control my emotions even when it was clearly in my best interest, like right now.

Nate stood up and stalked over to me, clenching his jaw.

"I'll do whatever the fuck I please to you. Deep down, you know you're still not over me. You'll never leave, you need me and you know it. You always have needed me, sweetheart." He shoved me back and pinned me against the wall with just his body weight. His oversized head was squeezing against mine tightly as he did everything he could to try to intimidate me.

"We are done." I pushed him back and he stumbled, partially from being too high to function properly and the other portion from surprise. I had caught him off guard.  He didn't even know how to react. I could count on one hand exactly how many times I had ever stood my ground with Nathan before. It looked like it overloaded his system.  He always had me under his thumb, pressing in until I cried out for mercy.  He always had the control.

"As long as I am alive, you will always be kneeling at my feet. You better start remembering your place. Next time I won't remind you so nicely." Nathan threatened me.

"I want nothing to do with you, you piece of shit! You used me over and over again. You hit me when I didn't do what you wanted me to, and you passed me around to your friends like I was nothing. You humiliated and degraded me until I didn't even know who I was. You fucking kept me high so I wouldn't see you for who you really are and leave your pathetic ass. You are weak, Nathan. You always have been." I screamed in his face.

There was sharp burning heat spreading over my cheekbone. I was on my stomach staring at the floor as the lights around me flickered in and out of focus. I was seeing stars swirling around me and my body felt lopsided like it was weighted on one side. I rolled over and groaned. My head was pounding and I didn't know what was going on. 

There was a sound across the room and I turned my head to find where it was coming from. Nathan was sitting on the couch staring at me with the mirrored tray back in his hands.

"I am not weak, you stupid bitch. Just wait and see. You are going to pay for saying that to me.  Here I was, trying to do you a favor. You messed up. Get ready, Jessa. You haven't even seen how bad I can be." Nathan said in a much too calm voice as he leaned over to snort the line in front of him.

I pushed my uncooperative body up from the floor and stumbled to the door as fast as I could go. My eyes were blurry from the tears trying to escape. I was having trouble seeing more than a few feet in front of me.

"Better put some ice on that tonight. You're going to have one hell of a bruise on that pretty face of yours. Get yourself cleaned up and ready, I'll be seeing you again real soon, sweetheart."