Kaleb

Six days later, Mel is still suffering from the effects of pneumonia. Her lungs are so full of fluid she needs help breathing, as well as a tube to help drain the fluid. The chest x-rays the medical team had done yesterday were showing promising signs, but she's not out of the woods yet. Mel's battle is like climbing a fucking cliff with no signs of a plateau.

It's detrimental to my mental health, which delays my much-needed apology to Brenna and Shea. I've been delaying the apology for a few days now because I'm too focused on Mel. 

"Go," Ella says.

"Huh?" I ask, looking up from the hockey magazine I was pretending to read.

She places the book in her lap and shoots me a pointed glare. "Kaleb, it looks like guilt is eating you alive. You can apologize to Shea once he's back from the All-Stars Event. Go talk to Brenna and make things right."

I glance at Melody. She's lying unconscious in her hospital bed. The white sheets and beeping of the machines make my head spin. Ella and I have been here every day since Mel was admitted, loitering around with our books and coffees while waiting for her to wake. We want someone to be here when she wakes up.

"You could also use the time outside," Ella adds. "I'll let you know if she wakes up."

Rubbing the back of my neck, I expel a deep sigh. Ella has a point. She has them too often. Sometimes, I hate how logical she is. Leaving the hospital feels wrong, but I have to make amends with Brenna. Lack of control over my emotions has led to a rift between us—and I can't lose Brenna's friendship. We've exchanged too much banter, been through too much to lose it because of my insecurities. 

"Fine," I reply. Standing, I gather my wallet, keys, and phone from the small table. I shove them in my pockets. "If I don't return, send the police. Brenna's probably murdered me."

Ella snorts. "You'll be fine, Kaleb." She pushes to her feet and pulls me into a hug. "Just don't piss her off and make sure she's not hangry."

Her comment makes me chuckle. Brenna is a monster when she's hangry.

The hug lasts longer than it should, and I realize how intoxicating Ella's sweater smells. It's like sun-dried linen. Something homey and fresh. These past few days have just been Ella and me, and I'm so thankful for her presence. Without her, I'd be drowning.

"Thank you, Ella," I whisper. "For everything."

She steps back and gives my shoulders a squeeze. Her smile makes the corners of her eyes crinkle. "We're in this together. That's what friends do—they support each other." She wrinkles her nose. "As cliché as it sounds."

After exchanging our goodbyes and pressing a quick kiss to Mel's pale cheek, I head out the door, ready to escape the antiseptic smell of the hospital.

But not ready to experience Brenna's wrath.

* * *

Flowers are not the solution to repairing a relationship. I feel Brenna will toss these to the floor and stomp all over them. They're supposed to represent an olive branch, but now that I'm standing on the doorstep, I'm second-guessing myself. Roses, lilies, and carnations seem too juvenile. Too cowardly.

Before I can hide the flowers in the bushes, Brenna opens the door. Her cold blue eyes meet mine. She doesn't smile. Says nothing. All she does is glare at me with her arms crossed over her baby bump and her lips pressed together.

When she cocks an eyebrow, I sigh. "I'm sorry, Brenna."

She continues the silent treatment, but she steps aside, gesturing for me to enter. I side-eye her as I step through, wondering where this exchange will go. Murder doesn't seem too far-fetched. 

This apology needs to be done right. Brenna isn't one to hold grudges, but I think my lies may have pushed her over the edge. My lies prevented her from seeing one of her best friends. The more I think about it, the more the shame spread through my chest. It's hot and thick like magma.

We saunter into the kitchen, the silence stretching between us. I'm not sure what else to say. Words can't express how sorry I am. How shitty I feel. Although people continue to cut me slack, I'm sick of getting away with my shitty behaviour. I can control my actions and how I react. All I did was let my emotions get the best of me. I'm allowed to cry and curse at the world. What I'm not allowed to do is harm my friends. Which is what I've done to Brenna and Shea.

"Brenna..."

Brenna's hand connects with my face. I stumble backwards, clutching the throbbing patch of skin. The flowers fall to my feet and Brenna steps forward, breaking their stems and ruining the petals.

"You're an asshole, KJ!" she yells, giving me a shove.

I grip the counter, trying to keep my balance. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking about her bulging stomach and how this stress and sudden act of aggression isn't a good thing for the baby. That fades, though, because I know I deserve this.

She jabs me in the chest with her pointer finger. "You deliberately lied to me about Melody. They advised me to stay away from her until the antibiotics kicked in. Not the whole time! You made it sound like she was in critical condition and that everyone except you was being advised to stay away from her. And then I hear from Ella that you're both constantly with Melody? What the fuck is wrong with you? You are such an asshole! I would never do something like that to you. Melody is my friend, Kaleb!"

My control snaps. 

"It's because you're having a baby and Mel is dying!" I yell. "Life is growing inside of you while Mel's slips away. It fucking hurts, Bren." Tears trickle down my cheeks and my voice cracks. "I'm losing her."

Brenna throws her hands up in the air. "That still doesn't give you the right to prevent me from seeing her! And Shea! He's so upset with you, KJ. You were a good friend to him in high school, and you're preventing him from returning the favour. He wants to help you!" Brenna pauses, choking on a sob. "This situation is shitty for all of us. Especially you. But what you did was wrong, KJ. Next time, all you need to do is ask for space. Shea and I are okay with giving you two space. As long... as long as we can say goodbye."

"Fuck!" I curse. "I know!" My voice softens. "I know."

Silence settles between us. We're both emotional disasters, and all I can feel is guilt. It's my fault we're like this: arguing when we should support each other. All this argument does is prove how shitty I am as a friend. I'm the cause and effect of her tears and negative emotions.

"Brenna..."

Before I can express my guilt and apologize again, Brenna pulls me into a hug. It's awkward, considering her bulging belly, but we make it work. Any walls or tension break apart, cutting us down to nothing but our raw emotions. She's crying. I'm crying. Fuck, the baby's probably crying, too.

"I'm sorry I'm an asshole," I choke.

Brenna snorts and then sniffles. "Shit. I got snot on your shirt."

"Leave it," I laugh. "We can categorize it as revenge."

She tightens the hug. "Good enough for me. I accept your apology, by the way. Shea might be difficult, though."

I expel a deep sigh. Shea Smith is notorious for holding grudges. The apology will be easy. Gaining his trust and making sure he knows the apology is genuine? That'll be difficult.

But it'll be worth it.

Because in the end, we all need each other.