"Are you even listening to me Billy?", Melissa said. Or was it Margaret. Who cares, Billy thought as he buried his face deep between her thighs again, making her moan. He had spent the past 3 days in random women, trying to get his thoughts to stop spinning, his brain to stop thinking about that infuriating experience at the BBQ. For now he had had no success.

"Billy! Please answer my question...", she moaned as he slowly massaged her clit with his tongue. He grunted annoyed as he sat up, leaving her gasping and releasing the poor bedsheet from her tight grip: "What was the question?" He didn't want to have a conversation. The cheap vanilla candle scent in this woman's apartment had always made him sick, but having his face inbetween her legs made him not care so much, being inside of her even less. But talking with her made him extremely aware of the cheap factory made vanilla scent, the tight, greying walls and surgery style ceiling lights and the weird light reflections of the crystals hanging on the numerous dream catchers around the small Brooklyn apartment that made his eyes hurt.

"I asked you why you called me now. After you told me I was too clingy I didn't expect to hear from you again. Don't get me wrong,", she pushed her peroxide blonde, sweaty hair from her face and prepped herself up on her elbows, her fake boobs bouncing with every movement, "I'm so happy you called. But what does it mean?"

"It means", Billy started and slowly crept closer to her, pulling his boxers down, "that I don't want to talk. Got it?" He pushed her back on the bed and rolled her onto her stomach. He never had liked her all that much, but she liked it freaky, so Billy kept coming back. As he entered her his brain went quiet. "Finally", he moaned as he started thrusting hard and fast, holding the girls ass up with one hand, and pushing her chest into the mattress with the other, drowning out her moans. He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of being inside of her, thrusting harder and harder, making her scream. 

"This was nice, Billy.", the woman said to him as she curled up beside him on the mattress, looking up to him through her face lashes. As he looked at her he wondered why he ever went for her. The night they met he had been drunk, but not hammered. I suppose she used to be my type he thought as he studied her face. Her caky makeup left stains on the mattress where he fucked her and he cringed as he got up from the bed. 

"What's wrong baby? Do you not want to stay for round 2? I'm ready when you are.", she smiled at him seductively, spreading her legs for him to see and massaging her tits while holding eye contact. But Billy had had enough. He grabbed his boxers, t-shirt, pants and socks off the floor and put them on quickly before walking to the door. 

"Listen, it's been nice. But don't expect me to come back. This was the last time.", he said while walking through the door.

"That's what you said last time, baby. And the time before that. And the time before that, and...", her voice was cut off as Billy closed the door behind him and made his way to the elevators. She was right of course. The meaningless sex was fun. He enjoyed not giving a shit about the girl, leaving right after. Not caring. And she was fine with it, at least mostly. So Billy kept coming back. 

Because that was who he was. And that's what he needs to remember always.