[A/N: Song for this chapter:
- He Is We // Fall
- The Latency // Still In Love With You
- Britt Nicole // Safe
- Panic! At The Disco - End Of All Things]

Michelle was in a particularly foul mood since Dylan had skipped class with a bunch of other soccer players to squeeze in extra practice for their upcoming match. Her gaze had been following me around the classroom since the start of our double period, burning a hole through my head even when I returned to my desk to check my phone for any texts. I was beyond bored and Tyler was baking me another one of his special surprise cakes.

I met her dark eyes once again and narrowed my eyes just a fraction. Her lips tugged down into malicious frown that made my nerve endings freeze and I felt the sudden urge to just throttle her. I couldn't understand why she kept shooting me filthy looks when I hadn't ever done anything to her since our bathroom encounter a month ago.

Racking my brains for the years I had known her, all I could bring up were memories of her cold-shoulder when she spent all middle school trying to befriend Taylor. At first my best friend was flattered by the attention but eventually she saw right through her like an x-ray machine but that didn't matter to Michelle. I mean, she did get what she wanted in the end.

She got Tyler.

When her eyes slide to my partner, I followed them and was surprised to see him send me a secret smile from the worktop. Instinctively, my lips curled up into a goofy grin and I almost missed the strangest expression fleet across Michelle's face before she averted her gaze, scowling deeply.

Now that my focus was entirely on the blond guy looking at me with the widest dimpled smile, I brought a hand to my cheek and wasn't surprised to feel the blistering heat emanating from my skin. Trudging towards our work station at the back of the class, I prodded a finger against his back to get his attention.

"What was the smile for?" I asked as a floppy grin played upon his lips. He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly but failed to mask the excitement in his voice.

"You'll see munchkin."

Uninvited impatience clouded my mind but I bit it away by reminding myself that it would crush Tyler if I tried to ruin his surprise.

"Just don't add any nuts Ty, you know they make me sick." I frowned slightly as I tried to peer over his back to see what mischief he was setting me up for.

"Did you just say you love my nuts?" Tyler's feigned whisper was loud enough for half the class to turn around and snicker.

Humiliated, I pinched his biceps to silence him, desperately wanting to disappear and hide from the weight of everybody's gaze.

"Ouch!" He jumped up and snapped his head in my direction to glare at me. "For someone who doesn't believe in violence, you sure are violent."

With raised eyebrows, I lifted my fingers to his arm again, pinching them like pincers. Tyler edged away from me when he realised that the pain would be far worse this time.

"Ash!" He whined, grabbing my raised hand and pushing it down to my side. I tried to ignore the sudden jolts I got when his thumb brushed my wrist.

"Tyler!" I mimicked his voice, biting back a hysterical giggle when his bottom lip jutted out in defiance.

His pout dissolved into a smile as he bit his lip. When I realised that he was trying not to laugh at my voice, I mirrored his infectious grin.

"So are you going to tell me what you're making?" I nudged my hip with his, trying to push him to the side so that I could catch a glimpse of what he was doing.

"Nope!" He popped the 'p' and stayed firmly planted to his position.

"Can I at least see?" I pouted, tiptoeing and moving my head around, doing just about anything to see over his shoulder.

He froze and for a moment I thought he was finally giving in to me. Letting a triumphant smile break out on my face, it was suddenly replaced with a scowl when a sharp pang of pain shot through my nose.

"Ty!" I snapped, rubbing the skin that he had flicked. "That freaking hurt!"

"Stop peeking then!" He swatted me away, waving his hand dangerously around my face.

Letting out a huff, I decided to leave him to it and asked Ms Smith if I could quickly go to the restroom. She didn't even glance up from her marking. She just nodded and waved a dismissive hand at me to leave. I hurried through the corridors and kicked open the flaky bathroom door before relieving myself quickly and heading over to the sink. I focused on the dark circles that threatened to swallow my eyes into a bottomless, black hole and let out a low groan. Cupping a handful of stark cold water, I splashed my face before scrubbing my hands clean.

Suddenly, the door swung open just as I patted my hands dry using a paper towel. Looking up, I groaned inwardly at the sight of an immaculate face sported with a scowl behind my reflection.

"What do you want?" I sighed heavily, raising my eyebrows at her reflection. "I'm getting tired of your bullshit. This is getting a little childish, don't you think?"

Her dark eyes hardened into black pebbles that wavered with fury.

"Childish? You really do think you're so much better than me, don't you?" Michelle hissed, placing her hands on her hips, and breathing heavily as if she was trying to keep a lid on her anger.

"Technically, nobody can lower themselves to your standards, but no, to answer your question I don't think I'm better than you. I'm just glad I'm not you."

It felt good to play Michelle at her own game and my new found confidence seemed like it needed to be reinforced by some action. Obviously not anything violence; but I raked my eyes over her reflection with disdain before turning back to my own. I applied some chapstick quickly before fixing my hair, not sparing her a single glance. When I realised she wasn't going anywhere I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Oh, you're still here?" I asked with a ghostly smile, shooting her an insignificant glance over my shoulder.

Michelle's eyes became narrowed slits at the sight of my false smile.

"What does he even see in you?" Her voice was dripping with malice and I hated to admit that it made my insides turn with anxiety.

I found it hard to believe that she carried that much hatred for me when I hadn't ever caused her any harm. She was the one who had caused me years of heartbreak, not the other way round. I had never uttered an ill word at her without being provoked first and I sure as hell have never raised a hand at her. So what was her problem?

I sighed heavily, trying to keep my face neutral and unfazed by her presence, and then let the smile slip from my face, dropping all pretence.

"Okay, let's rephrase that question," I cocked my head to the left and frowned deeply. "What did he ever see in you?"

Pocketing my chapstick, I gave her reflection one last flicker before attempting to walk past her and out of the toilet but she side stepped to block my exit.

"Just leave me alone," I sighed with irritation but she poked me back into place as I tried to manoeuvre my way around her.

"I'll do that when you stop acting like Tyler's so in love with you because he's not!" She snapped, pushing me back with a hand.

It was as if my patience for her short circuited and suddenly a spark within me ignited. I had suffered enough of her bullshit for the past few years, putting up with her crap since middle school and there was no way I was going to let her walk all over me any more. Enough was enough. Michelle had held the flame of her wrath too close to the wound that she created years ago when she bedded Tyler.

"What is your goddamned problem?" I hissed as I closed the space between us, towering over her by a few inches.

Her eyes flashed with disbelief and surprise before they hardened. She held her ground and burned a hole through my face with a glower that could turn milk sour.

"That's easy," She smiled venomously, blinking her perfectly made eyes at me. "You."

I scowled at her, feeling anger bubble through my veins at her comment. It wasn't enough. One word was nowhere near enough to cover the reason why she was such a bitch to me. One word did nothing to explain why she subjected me to her wrath and horrible games because it had to be more than that. There had to be more.

"What have I ever done to you?" I growled at her viciously, trying to draw more of an answer out of her.

Her eyes flashed with hatred, seething with immense spite before simmering down to a hostility that chilled me to the bone.

"Well I don't know," She drawled sarcastically. "How about the fact that my ex-boyfriend was in love with you the entire time he dated me? That he used me because he couldn't have you? Or that you used to boast your friendship with Taylor just because she chose you over everybody else? I mean, what was she thinking, you're the definition of pathetic!"

My eyes stung and I drew a shaky breath even though my lungs were being enclosed my deflating rib cage. It felt like I had just been hit bus and the impact of Michelle's words almost caused me to reel over but instead my heart plummeted to the ground and I struggled to breath.

"Tyler? In love? With me?" I choked, lifting a hand to my neck to ease the suffocated feeling that restricted my breathing.

"Don't play stupid, it doesn't suit you," She barked, rolling her eyes and glaring at me with a disgust. "He followed you around like a lost puppy and all you did was push him away so that he ended up crawling into my arms."

Frowning with confusion, I bit my lip as I returned her glare.

"I never pushed Tyler away, you just hypnotised him with that rack of yours!" I pointed down to her bountiful chest before burning a hole through her eyes. "You knew that I liked him but even then you still did everything in your power to take that away from me so well done, you succeeded."

Her smug smile couldn't mask the bitter look in her eyes when she shook her head as if I had drawn the wrong conclusion.

"You really are stupid as well as dense. I never succeeded in taking Tyler away from you because he never stopped pining for you. The Tyler that I dated was a freaking zombie with no desire to develop true feelings for me and that was all because of you! What kind of girl has to suffer being in love with a guy who was in love with somebody else?"

A daunting feeling of guilt, disbelief and hope settled inside me, dragging my entire weight to ground. On top of that, blood rushed to my head making me feel intensely lightheaded. She couldn't be right, it sounded so unreal to hear and absorb what she was saying. It just didn't make sense because Tyler would never have slept with her if he'd been in love with me. Why would he do that to me?

"You're lying. Why would you lie about something like this? To get into his pants? Jesus Christ, you're such a manipulative bitch!" I concluded, shaking my head and putting up a wall to shield myself from the scorching hatred in her eyes.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Michelle gritted her teeth, clenching her fists and turning a deep shade of red. "Do I have to spell it out for you? Tyler Miller was in love with you and you did nothing! Every single person on this freaking planet knew that but you just shut the guy out. And when you finally figured it out, your stupid best friend forced him to leave you alone!"

The impact of her words made my heart concave in and I staggered backwards.

"Taylor drove him away?" I echoed, still feeling confused that the dots were not linking up in a way that made sense. "But that was after he slept with you!"

Michelle rolled her eyes, pushing her sleek, straight hair out of her fuming face. Her voice was starting to stiffen as if she didn't want to let out anymore but everybody knew what a motormouth she was. Once she was set off, there was no going back.

"Taylor had been fending him off you since kindergarten. It was only when we started middle school that she really put a leash on him and forced him to leave you alone like you were made of freaking glass. I really don't understand why she was so protective over someone as pathetic as you!"

Her eyes became unfocused and I knew she was thinking back to how Taylor would fuss over me at her infamous sleepovers. Meanwhile, my eyes darted around the floor as I tried to make sense of everything but I just couldn't. My current emotions ranged from intense fear, bewilderment, hope, anger, fury and sympathy. They were jumbled up like a cable wires and formed heavy knots inside me. I tried to distinguish, separate and then control each one but the effort to draw them out one by one drained me of all energy and caused my brain to drum painfully against my skull.

"Why would he pick you then?" I frowned deeply, feeling my head begin to pound from Michelle's new revelations.

"Well why else do you think?" She snarled, curling her lips back viciously. "Because he couldn't have you so he used me to move on. Except the douchbag's plan failed and he didn't move on so he just carried on using me...and when you're in love with a guy that much, you just settle for what you can get. Even if it kills you inside."

As her words sank in, I felt my anger dissipate until all that remained inside me was sympathy for the hurting girl in front me. Despite her tough shell, all that remained behind was a broken-hearted, misunderstood girl that had been used countless times by guys in an attempt to be loved, cared for and adored. I didn't want to forgive her for all the shit she had thrown at me during the past few years of my life; but knowing that if I had been in her shoes, I would probably hate me too.

That was, of course, if she was actually telling the truth.

"I-I don't know what to say...I'm so sorry," I breathed, replying with the only honest answer that I could conjure up.

Searching her eyes, I felt my heart clench as I remembered just how painful it was to go through seeing the person you love feel that way about somebody else. I don't know what kind of response I was expecting but I sure as hell did not think she would literally lift her hand and slap me across the face. The shock seemed to take a toll on me more than the pain but I was pretty sure that there would be a red hand print forming on my left cheek.

"I don't need your fucking sympathy!" Her voice was shaking as she planted her trembling hand back to her side.

For a moment, I wondered what anybody else would do in my position. Retaliate? Slap her back? Spit in her face? Scream at her?

I racked through my jumbled emotions and tried to seek the anger I needed to fuel a violent response but all I managed to latch on was empathy. Quite a lot of it actually.

"You're right. What you need to do is move on with your life Michelle," I said shakily, trying to keep my voice level as I laid the truth out for her. "He's not interested in you. Not now and not ever."

She gave me a slow and seething look that made me coil back and realise that there was no point trying to reason with her. The only person who could take away the bubbling hatred within heart was herself, but as long as she thought she needed Tyler to fix it, Michelle would be lost to herself forever.

Without responding, she spun sharply on her heels and stormed out of the bathroom, leaving me breathing heavily with nothing but my dishevelled reflection to comfort my racing heart. Feeling suffocated in such an enclosed space, I darted out of the bathroom and pressed my back against the wall, sliding down slowly until I was perched on the cold linoleum floor.

"In and out," I wheezed loudly, forcing air into my screaming lungs but barely any made it down to appease their thirst for oxygen. "One...Two...Three...Four...Five...Shit!"

I closed my eyes and tried to remember Dr Jillian's advice on how to clear my mind of all thoughts. She said that my emotions would soon follow and dissolve into a shadow of their previous intensity if could correct my shallow breaths. That didn't seem to be working for me right now, instead my breath hitched and soon enough I was doubling over and gasping for air.

"Ash?" A deep voice bellowed on the other side of the corridor but I was too busy trying to force air into my rejecting lungs. "Ashley!"

The echoing sound of running footsteps filled my ears but I couldn't summon the energy to look at him. When two strong hands pulled me into an upright positon, I was trembling uncontrollaby, finally managing to fill my airbags with enough oxygen to chase away the incoming wave of dizziness.

"Oh g-god," I choked breathlessly, wrapping my arms around myself and cowering from the blond guy who tried to help me stand up.

"Ash? Shit, what did she do to your face?" Tyler asked in a frantic voice, sucking his breath in when he took in the sight of my left cheek.

"It's n-nothing," I managed to say, raising a hand up to my flaming cheek that protested with pain when I cupped it gently.

"No, it's not nothing!" Tyler sounded furious. I looked up to see him clenching his hands into fists. "She fucking hit you, didn't she?"

There was no point denying the obvious so I just remained silent, concentrating on smoothing out my ragged breaths rather than listen to Tyler bad mouth Michelle. I wanted to ask him to stop calling her such demeaning words, especially after she confessed her true feelings for him to me but the lump in my throat restricted the words from getting out.

It wasn't her fault she fell in love with the wrong guy. But I couldn't defend the spiteful bitch she had become because of that.

"I knew something was wrong when I finished the cake mix and you still weren't back...I knew it. I just knew."

I felt the weight of Tyler's gaze when he paused but I refused to meet them. Especially when there was a puddle of tears forming in my eyes, threatening to spill any moment.

"When I saw Michelle come into class all red faced and tight lipped I just knew that something had happened between the two of you."

I bit my lip and tried to blink back any tears but that only made them slip down my cheeks and race towards the corners of my mouth. It was only when I lifted a hand to wipe them away that I realised they were shaking.

When Tyler looked down at me, he inhaled sharply and swore under his breath. Sliding down the wall, he collapsed beside me and gave me a panicked look.

"Holy crap! Don't cry Ash. Please don't." His voice was strained, on the verge of cracking, as if he was tiptoeing around an explosive bomb. "What else did she do to you?"

Staring down at my trembling hands, I watched them shake, not bothering to conceal them from Tyler as I answered him.

"She didn't do a-anything. It's what she said that matters most," I muttered so quietly that I didn't expect him to pick up on how my voice broke.

But he did. Tyler picked up on every detail; gently taking both of my hands between his and clasping them in a warm hold before weaving his fingers between mine. Slowly, he traced his thumb along the length of mine and it had the opposite effect than the one he intended. My breath hitched and the pain in my chest was amplified.

His eyes flashed and I knew that he was trying his hardest not to bombard me with questions. A couple of times, he opened his mouth only to shake his head and close it again. Finally, he cleared his throat, peering at me underneath his long, thick lashes.

"Wanna talk about it?" Tyler pondered, looking up from our hands to meet my eyes.

His gaze was so tender that I felt my breath catch at the reflection of the teary, doe-eyed girl in his sea-green eyes. My own eyes were glassy with the fear of letting him take a glimpse over the wall I had built during the past four years to protect myself from him.

Little did Tyler know that since we'd become friends again, he'd been making the foundations of my brick wall shudder every time he looked at me like that. It was exactly the way he used to look at me before ninth grade and it was killing me to confirm that maybe Michelle wasn't so wrong after all.

In that moment, I felt like I was standing on a cliff edge with nothing but a bungee cord to save me from plummeting to an endless dive into his oceanic eyes. However, Michelle had sawed the cord until it's strength was equivalent to a strand of hair so now it was much harder to jump.

I wasn't sure if I could survive the fall, not a second time; not when I had only just managed to stay alive and breathing last time because of his sister.

Prior to my run in with Michelle there never was an option to let myself go when it came to Tyler even though I desperately wanted to. I knew that deep down, I could never let my entire guard down. Not like I did years ago.

But now, at the very back of my mind, a choice was being presented to me and I was suddenly being pushed to the very tip of the cliff edge to prepare myself for a second jump.

From the questioning look in Tyler agitated eyes and his hesitant, tight-lipped smile, I wondered if he had any idea that all I could hear ringing inside my head was Michelle's revelation that after all this time, he actually felt the same way.

I didn't answer his question for a very long time, pressing my head back against the wall and looking up at the ceiling. I knew that he was watching me, studying my entire side profile but it didn't bother me. All that bothered me was the uncertainty surrounding the truth behind Michelle's words and it was driving me crazy, exhausting me to no ends.

We'd been friends for months now and despite developing an honest friendship, it was far from perfect when we still had to deal with our troubled pasts. Even after all the time we spent hanging out and talking through our problems, we always tiptoed around our history like a grenade that was capable of exploding in our faces.

And I was sick of it.

Tyler had been pushing this subject away for far too long but it had finally resurfaced and there was no way that I wasn't going to fish it out and present the question to him.

I needed answers and I needed them now.

I managed a shaky sigh and looked back down at our hands. They looked so perfect, completely entwined and woven like a straw basket, revealing my silver polish and Tyler's bitten nails. It was one of those bad habits that his sister just couldn't get him to drop, no matter how much she persisted.

"I need to ask you a question and I want you to answer it honestly, okay?" I finally choked.

Although there was no one around to hear us, Tyler replied in a voice just as soft as mine.

"Sure, anything you want, just shoot."

I stared at our hands before lifting my gaze up to meet his. I wanted him to answer it with complete and utter honesty, without attempting to conceal anything from me. I wanted the truth - all of it. I needed it more than oxygen. I was gasping and grappling for the truth like it could ease my screaming lungs.

"What happened to us?"

The question was simple, yet blunt enough to cause him to double-take and splutter at me. The element of surprise caught him off guard and all confusion died away when Tyler registered the look in my eyes.

"W-What?" His voice was a hoarse shadow of it's usual deep glory.

"What happened to us in ninth grade? What changed?"

I didn't mean for my voice to sound so broken and bitter but when he squeezed my hand as a reaction to his surprise, I realised that Tyler's face was just as pained as mine. Clenching his jaw, he inhaled sharply and stared straight ahead whilst I scanned his face for any deceit.

He stared straight ahead for a long time and I wondered if he was ever going to answer my question until he cleared his throat and blinked wearily.

"Do you remember..." He trailed off and sighed heavily. "Do you remember what I said to you on our last night at the beach house that summer?"

Tyler's voice was raw with more emotion than I ever thought he was capable of expressing. It was hoarse and deeper than it had ever been as if he was struggling to force out each word. Paired with the agonised expression on his face, my chest tightened. I closed my eyes tightly and struggled to hold onto my composure as my bottom lip quivered. Taking deep breaths, a thousand images of that summer flashed in my mind like a slideshow, making a large boulder lodge itself in my throat.

The memory of our final night at the beach house flooded the darkness behind my lids and laughter echoed in my mind as I replayed the scene of the bonfire we had that night with Taylor and Blake. If the corners of my lips weren't being weighed down by the ache in my chest, I would've smiled wistfully at the memory of how romantic Tyler had been when the both of us ditched our friends and strolled along the shoreline, hand in hand.

That was the night he confessed his true feelings for me. I mean, Tyler had been more open and affectionate towards me that entire summer but we still hadn't put a label on what was going on between us. I was pretty sure we both knew that we weren't just friends and that there was something deeper lurking underneath.

Especially after all the moments that we had nearly kissed only to be interrupted by Taylor. But that night, when his gaze lingered on my mouth, I was certain that the moment was finally there. After all the interruptions and close shaves, it was finally going to happen; but I guess nerves got the better of him because his gaze returned to my eyes.

Snapping out my bittersweet daydream, I blinked at him and nodded slowly.

"Yeah, you said that you were falling for me and wasn't sure if you could hold back anymore even though Taylor was going get pissed off if we started dating," I whispered quietly, remembering how he had traced my jawline and played with my fingers, sheepishly admitting that he had liked me since we first met in kindergarten.

A crooked smile pulled his lips up as he ran his thumb along my knuckles and stole a glance at me. A warm feeling surged through my chest when Tyler leaned his head against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he gulped nervously.

"Do you remember what I said after that?"

I racked through my brains for his exact words that hazy night and felt my eyes widen when nostalgia choked me.

"You s-said that you'd talk to your sister and tell her how you felt about me," My voice shook as I looked at him, gaping at him when he let loose a small nod.

I don't remember him ever reporting back the outcome of his conversation with Taylor, simply because the week after we got back he finally kissed me and then hooked up with Michelle the very next week.

"Yeah," Tyler breathed, squeezing my hand as he shut his eyes and breathed deeply. "I spoke to her the day after we kissed and she didn't take it so well."

Curiosity clouded the intense heartache that was numbing my body so I blinked up at him, patiently waiting for him to continue. With his eyes still closed, I listened quietly and tried to push back my tears.

"I told her everything Ash," Tyler's voice broke, stressing exactly how much we had been through before he spoke to his sister. "I told her every single thing that had ever happened between us, hoping - heck, I even prayed - that she would understand and approve of the possibility of us dating. I even told her about that Valentine's card I gave you when we were nine."

Flinching, Tyler opened both eyes and looked at me, mustering the saddest smile I had ever see him wear.

"She didn't understand. She screamed at me and started crying that I was going to hurt you. I tried to tell her that I would never do anything to cause you any harm but she seemed hell bent on protecting you. I kept asking her why; I wanted to know the real reason why she wouldn't let me date you but she kept repeating that you'd been through enough misery to last you a lifetime."

Tyler stopped and looked at me deeply as if he was seeing into my soul and a shiver of tingles ran down my spine. When he looked away, the daunting terror that I woke up to after every nightmare seeped through my chest like poison.

I stiffened at the revelation that his sister nearly told him why she thought he couldn't date me. I made Taylor vow to never tell a soul and I'll never regret trusting her with the most important secret of my life. But Taylor was, after all, the female replica of Tyler so she was just as impulsive, if not more. She could have let it accidentally slip during the heat of their argument; but she didn't. And that was why she would always remain to be my greatest friend.

My mouth dried instantly when his mouth opened to form the question that I had been dreading to hear.

"Why was she so against us?" He asked softly, searching my eyes as teardrops rolled down my cheeks.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes, willing the agonising ache in my chest to die down but instead it was amplified when he repeated his question.

"I c-can't..." I broke off, doubling over and sobbing uncontrollably.

Convulsive shudders accompanied the tsunami of tears that leaked out of my tightly shut eyelids. I clutched my torso and gnawed on my bottom lip to reign in the overwhelming sadness that threatened to drown me in salty tears. But it was no use.

Alarmed, Tyler shuffled closer to me and untangled our fingers, wrapping both arms around me before entwining them again.

"Shhh shhh," He cooed, burying his face into my hair.

His murmurs caused hot air to fan my scalp and my right ear. Eventually, I managed to control my sobs as they morphed into hiccups and laid very comfortably in Tyler's muscular arms.

"I'm s-sorry," I whispered as we sat in silence, playing with our tangled fingers by rubbing circles on the back of Tyler's hands. "I just want you to know that I felt exactly the same way and wanted to be with you just as badly, if not more."

I felt him nod against my head as he pressed his lips against my temple, letting out a scorching breath that warmed my scalp.

"I know Ash," Tyler murmured quietly against my skin. "I've always known."

Pulling away from his arms, I sat up properly and stared at him, drinking in his honest and open face. My insides coiled up and swirled about violently when he turned to look at me. Eyes as deep as the Mediterranean Ocean tried to pull me under and I had to gulp for air to stay afloat.

"But if Taylor had been telling you to stay away from me for so long then why did you kiss me that day at your house? It was a week after we arrived home so that was after you spoke to her, right?" I mumbled, rubbing my naked eyes and wincing as my contact lenses shifted from the movement.

Letting my eyes flicker around my blurred surroundings, I blinked repeatedly until my vision sharpened again. Sea-green eyes became dazed as a goofy smile lit up his face. Tyler leaned back and pushed his hair out of his face before answering.

"That day when your glasses fell off in my room, I tried so hard to contain myself but you were just so..." He shook his head, struggling to find the word he was looking for until a dazed smile curled his lips up. "You were pretty - really pretty, and I just felt like if I didn't kiss you right then and there, I would regret it for the rest of my life. So I did it. I did it and felt so guilty that I had to pull away and put an end to it before it got out of control."

"But that was exactly what happened. It blew up in my face," I whispered sadly, averting my gaze as my voice broke. "A week later and you'd already moved on!"

Tyler's eyes flickered all over my face, drinking in every taut line as I frowned deeply to conceal my quivering bottom lip.

"I never moved on Ash, don't you get it? You were all I could think about. All the damn time, it was you," Tyler breathed. "You and your haunting hazel eyes, your crazy curls, your cute giggles and that blush that always appeared at the most random times - I just couldn't get off you my mind so I had to do something else about it. I didn't trust myself to stay the hell away from you so I had to make sure you stayed away from me."

"By m-making me hate you?"

"Yeah...that." He raked a hand through his hair making it stick up in all directions. Slowly the upright locks sagged and flopped back down. "It was either that or the start of World War III with Taylor. I had to pick between my sister and you, and it was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I spent nights laying in bed just tossing and turning, thinking about what to do. Pick you and lose Tay? Or respect my sister's only rule and let you go? I had a choice: be selfish or be selfless. And I chose the latter."

Sea green eyes searched mine, drinking in my parted lips and ragged breath. Tyler turned his head to the side and clenched his strong jaw. I watched the muscle tick, jumping up and down as he blew out a long breath.

"You can hate me for it but never as much as I hate myself for what I put you through. I did what I had to do to stay away from you Ash."

Slender fingers wove between mine, squeezing with enough pressure to tell me that he was in as much anguish as I was.

"Even if it meant b-breaking my heart?" I choked, blinking back scalding tears that stung.

Tyler nodded, closing his eyes as he relived the agonising memory while his sleepy lashes brushed his cheeks in the process. He tipped his head back and craned his head to the ceiling, roughly running a hand through his hair. The golden locks feathered upwards and I wondered if he knew just how handsome he looked even when he was stressed out.

"I hate you for what you did but I could never hate you," My voice broke as I struggled to get my next words out. "I'm glad you picked Taylor because I would've done the exact same thing. But kissing me was out of order Tyler! It wasn't fair on m-me. You led me on and then tossed me aside for Michelle the very next week! If you knew there was no hope for us, you shouldn't have kissed me! It was r-reckless Tyler! Reckless!"

Extreme remorse welled up behind his glassy eyes as he tightened his hold on my hands. They surged with intense sadness that made my insides sink to the bottomless pit of his beautiful eyes.

"Recklessly in love with the one girl I'd been chasing since the day I met her, " He whispered, running his fingertips up the entire length of my arm before losing them inside my curls.

"In love?" I echoed, feeling my breath catch at the proximity between us whilst blinking in surprise as he confirmed everything Michelle had yelled at me.

A pained yet lopsided grin stretched across his lips and he cocked his head to the side like he was struggling to figure me out. I was a puzzle to him, a puzzle that he was struggling to piece together even though he had all the pieces laid out for him.

"Wasn't it obvious?" Tyler whispered, flicking his gaze between my wide eyes.

Unable to find my voice, I shook my head and felt my eyes widen even more when his smile faltered. The warmth emanating from his soft gaze was more than enough to let loose an infinite amount of butterflies inside me. They tried to break out of my stomach, flapping about perilously like blinded bats that had suddenly awoken.

No force in the world could stop Tyler from demolishing the barrier that I had built to protect myself and it terrified me to the core. I winced, still wide eyed with immense fear.

My skin prickled with goosebumps as his head approached mine slowly, pausing inches away to look at me with those intoxicating yet vulnerable eyes of his. The oceanic tides threatened to swallow me whole and I struggled to keep my face neutral, refusing to let him realise that I was inches from plummeting from the cliff edge of my willpower.

And just like the first time we kissed and for the second time in my entire life, his eyes flickered between mine as he pursed his lips nervously, asking me a question that snapped the final, weak cord keeping my heart intact.

"May I?"

Looking into his eyes, I eyed the strong sea-green currents and gulped nervously. My body acted on its on accord and readied itself for a plunge that my mind meekly protested against.

As expected, I remained silent, following the repeating script of our past, knowing full well that just like last time, he wasn't going to bother waiting for a reply. Moments later, Tyler's lips brushed against mine like the tickle of a feather and that was the moment I knew. 

There was no going back. Not now, not ever.

The choice had been made; and as his lips moved slowly against mine, I closed my eyes and felt that somewhere deep within me on a perilous cliff edge, arms were spreading wide, ready for take off.

And so I jumped.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[A/N: Forty-four chapters later and we're finally getting somewhere eh? ;) Gif of Ash on the side.

Questions of the chapter:

1) What do you think is gonna happen next?        
2) Did your insides flip, heart beat faster or any other physical reaction when you read this chapter?
3) Do you feel sorry for Michelle? Hands up if you've ever loved a person who was in love with someone else.

*throws both arms in the arm and waves then like a drunk football hooligan*

Lol, I spent five years in the friendzone so don't be too hard on yourself. It gets better (nah, not really).

Chapter 45: So You Wanna Play Dirty?

See you in 2 days. Vote and  comment (pretty please?)

Cheers and all happy things,
- Kaddy]