[A/N: Songs for the chapter:
- The Fray // How To Save A Life
- Avril Lavigne // When You're Gone
- He Is We // Breathe]

Whisking a bowl of cream, I eyed the pathetic, watery consistency inside the bowl and groaned out loud. I swiped the cold sweat off my forehead and planted my hands on the graphite counter, struggling to stay upright.

Nothing was going right today - my cream was flat, my cake mix was too thick and the oven wasn't heating up properly.

Usually I would have been able to bear such technicalities but since since my conversation with Blake in Physics, my head was throbbing and my raw eyes were protesting from the amount of tears they let loose earlier this morning. They were bloodshot; and paired with my puffy lips, I was pretty sure I looked closer to a fish than a human being today.

When Ms Smith called the class to one of the work stations at the front of the room, I trudged forward like a zombie and sidled up to Mona. She shot me a concerned smile but I focused on our teacher demonstrating how to properly ice a cake. I tried to ignore the loud chatter coming from behind me as Michelle and Ali bitched about me. They kept giggling about Tyler's evident absence and I felt my fingers itch to punch them. Well not Ali Reynolds, she was too slow and dim-witted but Michelle was going to taste my fist soon.

"Wanna have a Girls Night tonight?" Mona whispered, drawing me away from my dangerous fantasy. I frowned with confusion and she rolled her eyes. "Sleepover? You look like you need someone to talk to."

"No thanks, I'll pass," I replied in a curt voice, struggling to focus on her offer when the girls behind were verbally degrading me. A flicker of hurt fleeted across Mona's eyes and I sighed heavily before rephrasing my answer. "I meant that I need to be alone for today, you know? Because of Taylor's anniversa-"

She clasped my shoulder and squeezed gently.

"It's okay, I get it. Another time, yeah?"

I nodded and meekly smiled, grateful that she understood. Taking a step backwards, I accidentally trod on Michelle's toe, causing her to yelp with pain as she jumped back and let loose a ring of curse words at me.

"Jesus dumbass, watch where you stamp your elephant feet."

Unable to handle her insults any longer, I whirled around and glared at her.

"Elephant feet? Really? Is that the best you have cooped up in that pea sized brain of yours?"

"Actually no," She snapped, dark eyes flashing at my defiance. "Your existence bothers me a lot more than your feet."

I scoffed and angrily shoved my hair out of my eyes, purposely ignoring Mona's tense shoulders when she turned around, suddenly attracted to the commotion.

"Save your breath," My friend crossed her arms over her chest and took an intimidating step forward. "You'll need it to blow up Dylan."

My jaw unhinged itself but Michelle's clanged to the ground. I bit back a malicious laugh when she coughed with surprise, struggling to come to terms with the words thrown at her.

"Aww, the little Oompa Loompa speaks," She sneered, staring down at Mona with disinterest before sliding her gaze to me. "So are you going to apologise for your elephant feet or not?"

"Sure," I smiled before letting it drop into a scowl. "I'll apologise when you do for being ugly on the inside as you are on the outside."

"Well that's a shame because that's never gonna happen," She threw her head back and let loose a giggle as if I had just shared a funny joke with her. "How weird! I never took you to be the jealous type."

I arched an eyebrow up and in a bored tone I snapped, "Jealous of what exactly? You? I'd say that's a step down from self-improvement. Nobody wants to go backwards and make themselves less attractive."

Her dark eyes flashed but she kept a lid on her anger as Ms Smith barked at the class to return to their work stations.

"Let's be real here, you're just jealous that you're from the shallow end of the genetic pool and I'll try to be less insensitive about your obvious insecurities," Michelle cackled, linking an arm through Ali's arm who was too slow to pick up on the insult. She elbowed her friend to laugh as Mona fumed beside me. "But it's really too bad you're one of puberty's failed results."

"Well, I'd say it's too bad you're proof that evolution can go in reverse!" I raked my eyes over her and strode off to my work station, no longer in the mood for her bullshit. "Get a grip Michelle and fuck your way through the soccer team till you find your way to hell."

Mona let out an echoing hoot and shook her wrist so that her fingers snapped repeatedly.

"Need some ice for that?" She sang as Michelle flipped her off and sashayed her way back to Dylan, falling in step with him as they returned to their station.

Exhausted by the sudden argument, I leaned over the counter and breathed heavily as I waited for my fury to ebb away. Thing is, if Tyler had been here today she wouldn't have dared to bare her bitchy claws but his absence gave her a sudden confidence she never had. I cursed Michelle and pushed her out of my mind, focusing on the daunting fact that Tyler still wasn't here. It was obvious he wasn't in school, but still, I kept hoping that he'd walk through the doors and brighten my day.

Thinking back to the blonde haired girl that burned alongside my father last night, my stomach heaved, lurching up before slamming back down as if I was on a fairground ride. I bit my lip to stop them quivering as I fought back a sob. I wasn't surprised to have had another nightmare, I knew all too well how to deal with them, but with the addition of Taylor's appearance this morning, I immediately woke up, covered in a thin later of cold sweat as I trembled uncontrollably and sobbed hysterically. And to top it off, I let loose last night's dinner onto Mom's favourite gown.

Great going Ashley! I thought darkly as I glared at the chunks of flour that were still floating inside the gooey mixture.

Even though my shower had woken up my cramped muscles, my mind was still in haze like I couldn't quite shake the horrors off just yet.

Tyler, where are you? My mind asked for the billionth time today. More than half an hour had passed but I still kept my eyes glued to the door, praying that he would stride into class with that infamous scowl of his.

Pushing the bowl away from me, I slumped against the counter as my eyes scanned the classroom before settling on my two friends. Neither of them were talking and it was understandable. I could barely utter a word without feeling the urge to let Niagara Falls spurt out of my lids. I could see Mona's deflated shoulders and Blake's tense posture whilst he attempted to whisk a bowl of cream with more force than necessary. I guess their mixture wasn't holding up too well either.

Drinking in sight of his knuckle white grip on the whisk, my chest clenched when Blake lifted his head in my direction, shooting me a pained half smile.

"You okay?" He mouthed, handing Mona the bowl and running a hand through his lifeless hair.

Shaking my head, I tried my hardest to pull the corners of my mouth up into a smile, but all I managed was a grimace.

"Not really," I mouthed back, trying not to dwell on the dark circles under his eyes as he approached me.

Mona's glanced up in our direction when she realised her partner had disappeared and sympathetically smiled at me just as I was enveloped into a choking bear hug. Her eyes slid to Michelle and the proud smile she wore made the lump in my throat dissolve. Maybe her fiesty attitude was rubbing off onto me after all.

My arms hung loosely by my side as Blake's warm breath fanned my scalp. I brought them up and wrapped them around his waist, pressing my head against his chest as I fought back the choking sob that threatened to break from my pursed lips.

"Where is he?" I choked, lifting my head up to meet pained, pale green eyes.

Dark lashes brushed his cheeks as he blinked slowly, registering my frantic question with a tight-lipped frown.

"I haven't got the faintest clue," He breathed heavily, looking up at the ceiling and blinking rapidly.

His eyes flickered between mine when he looked back down, glassy with agony and I had to bury my head back into his chest because his obvious pain made me want to cry again.

"If at any point you want to go home, just tell me and we'll ditch. Okay?"

I nodded, scanning the tiled floor in an attempt to conceal my tear-rimmed eyes. They roamed at our sneakers, lingering on Blake's crisp hi-tops that grew blurrier by the second.

Warm lips brushed my forehead, lingering for a moment before disappearing and following the sound of his retreating footsteps. I stood frozen, glued to the same spot as I counted to thirty, trying to level my ragged breaths.

Ever since I had set foot into this classroom, a daunting ball of anxiety had settled inside my stomach and with each minute it increased in size, weighing me down until I could barely stand.

Slipping my phone out of my back pocket, I scrolled through my contact list and tried calling Tyler's houseline, surreptitiously hiding my phone under my mane of curls but Ms Smith's head shot up as if she had sniffed my cellphone out like a blind dog.

"Ashley! Get off that phone now!"

Ignoring the turning heads, I rolled my eyes at her and pocketed my phone, ending the call before anyone picked up. The knotted ball inside me rolled around, faster and faster, and before I knew it, my arms loosened the knot of the apron around my neck and I grabbed my bag from my desk.

My feet hastily approached the classroom door.

There was no way in hell that I could hack a day of school without knowing where Tyler was. Nobody knew what he was capable of doing today considering what he did last year. Only Blake and I knew beside Tyler's family because his father called us on the first anniversary of Taylor's death, frantically asking us why their son hadn't come home two nights in a row. Little did his parents know that their next phone call would be from the local hospital who were busy pumping out thirteen aspirin tablets and vodka from a grieving seventeen year old boy.

"Where do you think you're going young lady?"

The sharp voice yanked me out of my flooded thoughts, making me stop abruptly just as my hand closed around the cool metal of the handle.

"I need to find him," I whispered more to myself than to her.

Her string of threats followed me as I sprinted out of the classroom and out of the school. With no idea where I was destined, I cycled downtown, scanning every road and shop for a tall blond guy. I even made sure to even briefly look at any alleyways in case he was collapsed and surrounded by alcohol and pills.

My thighs were cramping by the time I circled the town centre thrice and had rode to the Miller residence. I don't know what I was expecting to be told when I rapped on the familiar white oak door and rang the doorbell. Maybe I was hoping to be greeted by a dishevelled Tyler, grumbling about how I'd woken him up, half naked and pissed off. Oh, how I would've flung my arms around his torso and sobbed with relief!

Instead, bloodshot green eyes met my frantic ones and I knew, I just knew, he wasn't home.

"He didn't come school." I announced, rocking back and forth my heels.

Mrs Miller just nodded with understanding and tried to usher me inside but I shook my head. I wasn't going to just sit around when her son could be taking his last breath right now. Unlike her, I recognised the fact that there were two Miller twins and that one of them was still alive.

Maybe.

She was too hell bent on grieving for her daughter and far too wound up in her misery to realise her son was off the rails.

"Do you know where I can find him?"

The bitter smile she gave me made me want to collapse in despair but I managed to keep the limited strength in my legs and remained upright.

"I don't think he wants to be found sweetheart right now but don't worry about him, he promised me that he wouldn't do anything stupid."

As if his promises mean anything!

Scowling deeply at her, I shook my head again, refusing to believe her but I knew she was right in some way. Wherever Tyler was, he went there to get lost but that didn't mean he didn't want to be found. I'd known the guy my entire life and I'd had my fair share of grief. I knew the difference between wanting to be found and wanting to disappear forever.

Her exhausted green eyes searched mine and she sighed heavily at the stubborn look on my face.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," She sighed again before giving me a heart-breakingly sad smile. "He's probably at the cemetery but if you've already checked there then I don't know where he is."

My eyes bulged at the mention of the cemetery and suddenly my thighs were working harder than ever before to pummel enough energy to get me to the other side of town. I didn't even remember bidding Tyler's mom goodbye, just that I was flying, whizzing through a maze of streets.

I didn't slow down until I reached the florist, screeching to a halt as I jumped off my bike. I let it clatter to the ground and raced into the shop, slamming the door wide open as I strode past the clutter of flower arrangements.

"Mrs Henderson?" I called out over the tinkling bell overhead, leaning against the counter and peering through the ajar storage room behind the counter.

A loud shuffling echoed throughout the shop before the plump old woman waddled out, holding a notebook with orders scribbled on. She smiled at me though her eyes were slightly distressed. Taking in my flushed cheeks, swollen red eyes and tangled mane, her smile faltered.

"Are you okay dear?"

With no time for chitchat, I cut straight to the chase.

"H-have you seen Tyler?" I whimpered, my bottom lip quivering as I prayed to whoever was up there, pleading for a positive response.

Her azure eyes flashed with sympathy when her head hung low. Suddenly the aching and ominous feeling inside me diffused away, causing me to reel over with relief. I leaned heavily onto the counter and stared at her, understanding the look in her eyes before swivelling around and heading to the exit.

"Ashley?"

I came to a halt and spun around, eyeing her with an impatient gaze.

"Take this dear, you don't have to pay for it."

I stared at her outstretched hand with a questioning look before it occurred to me that she was handing me a bouquet of white lilies and a single rose.

Jogging over to her, I thanked her and sprinted out of the shop. Hoisting myself onto my bike, I battled against the strong currents of wind and cycled the remaining distance to the cemetery.

Once I reached my destination, my chest was hammering painfully against my chest. I didn't bother locking my bike up. Leaning it against the gate, I trudged past daunting iron gates and darted past a series of mouldy tombstones before Taylor's final resting place came into view.

My heart stopped suddenly at the slumped figure seated right in front of her gravestone with eyes closed, completely and utterly motionless. I dropped the bouquet in my hand.

"Tyler?" I breathed as I bolted past the small gate and the angel statue before shrieking. "Holy shit! Tyler! Tyler!"

His blond hair was dishevelled and pressed against the grey, eroding stone while his serene face looked up to the sky. I remembered seeing him asleep the day I baked at his house and his face had looked so peaceful just like it did right now.

Just like Taylor, he was truly beautiful.

"Tyler? Wake up!"

Just as I was about to reach down and shake his shoulders, his right eye flung open, lazily scanning me before it flung shut again. I squealed and jumped back making his lips transform into a deep scowl as irritation possessed his features.

"I know what you're thinking Ashley and no, I'm not gonna try to kill myself just yet, at least not this year."

My chest throbbed at the nonchalance in his voice. How could he talk so openly about wanting to take his life? Did he really think that there nothing left for him any more?

"Leave me alone now."

Scanning his wrinkled hoody and creased jeans, I was led to deduce that he had been here in the same position for hours but it was the dark circles and chapped lips that gave away the fact that he had probably spent the night here too. Doubting the possibility that he'd managed to sleep here last night, I winced as my chest clenched painfully and repeatedly at the state of him.

"I'm not leaving you like this Tyler," I sighed heavily as one of his eyebrows rose in defiance.

As fast as the surprise took over his face, it fled and was replaced with exasperation and a hint of vexation.

"Do whatever the hell you want. Just leave me alone."

I wasn't surprised with his response but that didn't mean I was giving up on him any time soon.

"You and I both know I'm not going anywhere," I crossed my arms over my chest.

He exhaled and turned his head to the side so that I had a clear view of both his eyes.

"Look, I'm not interested in your false concern today."

Blinking in shock, his eyes flashed with annoyance before he turned his head up to look at the sky. A surge of anger pushed away some of the empathy I had for him, making me want to tug at my curls and scream at him. Instead I opted for placing my hands on my hips and glared at him.

"Why are being such a jerk? I looked everywhere for you! You have no freaking idea how worried I was when you didn't come to school!"

Tyler's face remained still, completely expressionless. The closest I got to a response was when he closed his eyes and breathed evenly, completely ignoring my outburst. Suddenly, I stepped closer to him and let out a frustrated scream.

"What is wrong with you? I'm trying to fucking help you!"

The rage in my voice made Tyler open his eyes but he remained silent. Bloodshot sea-green eyes scanned my face, searching for god knows what but eventually all emotion was drained from them, leaving his eyes blank as he slowly blinked at me.

"You're not helping me, you just want to help yourself. I don't blame you. I know you just feel guilty so as Taylor's best friend you feel like it's your duty to 'help' me. Well here's a newsflash for you Ashley, I don't need your help. I don't you at all."

The deadpan expression he wore made me want to smack him silly. In fact, I want to smack him into next week but instead I concentrated on restraining my limbs from attacking him. Who knew what he would do if I started throttling him?

My mouth hung open at his assumption and I blinked twice before my fury heightened. Striding towards him, I crouched in front of him and narrowed my eyes, ignoring the widening of his own.

"Listen here, okay?" I snapped. "I don't feel guilty and neither do I pity you. I'm trying to help you because I understand! Nobody, not even your parents, understand what you're going through but I do. I get it, really, I do."

His eyes observed me with an incredulous look whilst I leaned back and planted my bottom onto the cold ground so that I was sitting cross legged and mirroring his posture, making our knees just about touch. If Tyler thought he was stubborn, he was about to experience how obstinately determined I could be.

Alarmed, he sat up straighter and his bewildered eyes softened the edges of my previous fury with him until all that I was left with was empathy.

"You don't have to pretend around me Tyler," I muttered quietly, looking over his shoulder at the engravings on the gravestone.

Slipping off my glasses, I pocketed them and rubbed my eyelids, feeling incredibly weary and exhausted from all the excessive crying I had done in the morning. And now it seemed like my over-active tear ducts wanted to let loose another dam.

Biting my lip, I gnawed on the chapped skin in a pathetic attempt to ignore the weight of his eyes. They roamed my features and it was unnerving to be the subject of his smouldering gaze. The skin beneath my sweater was prickling and a heated sensation started from my tummy and began to course through to my veins at a pleasantly slow speed.

"You know," I whispered so quietly that it was barely audible but nonetheless his head perked up the sound of my voice. "Not a day goes by that I don't think about her."

Tearing my gaze away from the etched script on Taylor's gravestone, I stared at her brother, letting a sad smile form on my lips.

"Really?" Tyler breathed, finding it hard to believe that there was someone else who missed his sister as much as he did.

I nodded, grimacing at how many nights I had spent sobbing myself to sleep after the loss of my dearest friend. It was just as devastating as it was to lose my father, except the absence of guilt made it easier for me to deal with the grief and move on. Ignoring the small boulder forming inside my throat, I looked away from his intoxicating eyes and focused on my bitten nails.

"The first three months were the hardest but after that I slowly came to terms with the reality of it. But during those three months it was like living in my own personal hell. I refused to eat and talk to anyone which made Mona even more upset until Blake helped us patch things up, but even then, I never felt any emotion other than grief, sadness and loneliness. It was like some vicious cycle that sucked the life out of me. I mean, sometimes I didn't even bother getting out of bed. All I could think was 'What's the point in life if we're all going to die? What's the point in trying?'"

I glanced up from my devoured fingernails and felt overwhelmed by how torn Tyler looked. It was like he couldn't quite believe that I was telling him all of this. I was surprised at myself. Why was I telling him things I'd never told anybody before?

I bit my bottom lip and continued to blabber things that even Blake and Mona didn't know about me. My friends had no idea that during those three months I slept in my best friend's favourite sweater every night and sprayed her favourite perfume on myself just so that I could trick myself into believing that she was still alive and well, but then Dr Jillian slowly helped the reality of her death sink in. It was nice to be able to talk to her about something other than my father, and surprisingly, therapy did help a great deal.

I told Tyler all those things - minus my therapy sessions - and he didn't laugh at me, not once. Instead his gaze softened and he shifted closer to me when my voice dwindled into a mere whisper.

"The worst part about it all was that I didn't even find out my own best friend was at death's door until that meltdown you had during your last soccer match. Can you imagine how that felt? Finally figuring out there was an actual reason why my best friend had suddenly stopped answering my calls and hanging out with me."

Guilt contorted Tyler's features forcing him to avert his gaze and fiddle with his floppy bangs in order to avoid to meet my watery gaze.

"I told her to tell you but she said that you'd had enough misery of your own to last you a lifetime," He whispered, looking up at the cloudless sky. "I just didn't understand what made her think you couldn't handle it but she was hell bent on keeping it a secret for as long as she could get away with it."

The new information settled inside me and softened the ache that surrounded the painful memory of Taylor not telling me about her illness until the final couple of months. I understood that she was trying to protect me from the pain of it but that only made everything harder to deal with when she died. I had less time than her brother to absorb the knowledge that she had leukaemia, and even less time to prepare for her death.

"I know," I whispered, trying to muster a smile even though the muscles around my mouth were itching to stay in a locked frown. "She told me that you wouldn't shut up about telling me the truth and, for that, I'm grateful. Thank you, for trying. It means a lot to me."

The dimpled, crooked smile Tyler gave me made my breath hitch but I just blamed it on the massive boulder lodged in my throat. My throat was scratchy and my voice sounded hoarse because my parched mouth couldn't summon enough saliva to wash away the gigantic lump.

"I'm really sorry she didn't tell you Ashley," He mumbled, running a hand through his hair as he looked at me with his remorseful sea-green eyes.

Taking in his pained grimace and the agony that distorted his lips into a deep frown, I blinked back my tears.

"Don't beat yourself up over it." I smiled. "She did what she thought was right at the time and we can both agree that it was only because she was one hell of a fighter."

Tyler's smile widened a fraction at my comment before it slipped off his face completely. For a moment, my heart flipped at the thought that I had made him retreat behind his barrier just after I had finally managed to get him to talk to me. But maybe it was because reminiscing about Taylor with someone else out loud was obviously as new to him as it was for me.

His eyes glazed over and became glassy and his jaw clenched a couple of times making me feel slightly anxious.

"She fought so, so hard and lost in the end," His voice was husky and thick with emotion. "It was an unfair fight."

I was surprised by how hoarse his voice was and when I studied his face I noticed that the corner of his mouth was twitching and his bottom lip was quivering ever so slightly. My chest contracted painfully and the boulder lodged in my throat grew. It was taking so much willpower not to sob my eyes out but one glance at him was all I needed to know that I had to remain strong, for him at the very least.

"Twins come into the world together so they should leave together right? Sure, she was a bitch at times and I couldn't wait to get rid of her ass whenever she pranked me," He barked a bitter laugh. "But now, I would move heaven and earth to hear her voice again-"

Tyler broke off, choking on a sob that retched through his entire body.

"She promised that she'd never leave me," He whimpered, eyes large and glassy with tears. "She said she'd be with me forever and always. But now I'm so fucking alone...I j-just want her back! I want my twin sister back!"

I tried my hardest to keep my own tears at bay and took his hands in my own. Rubbing circles on his palms, I scanned his face and gave him the saddest smile I could muster.

"She never left us. She's still here Tyler but you're just not letting her in."

His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. I guess the whole idea of letting go was foreign to him since all he ever did was try and cling onto his memories of Taylor, refusing the accept her death. Those memories haunted him daily but they were also what kept him alive, even though they were slowly killing him, charring his soul and blackening him on the inside.

"What do you mean?" He asked slowly, blinking a couple of times to push his tears back.

Sighing heavily, I ignored the soothing feeling I was getting from tracing patterns on his palms and looked at him, sucking in a breath at how intoxicating his gaze was when he wasn't glowering at me.

"You're trying so hard to hold onto her when what you should be doing is letting her go. Only then will she return to you in the form of peace and acceptance."

He shook his head as if I was speaking gibberish. The concept of letting go was just too hard for him. I understood how he was feeling, really I did, but holding onto Taylor hurt more because he was just constantly searching for somebody that was never coming back. It's like stumbling around in the dark, blinded by grief and tripping over your own feet.

"I c-can't," His voice was raspy, eyes torn with heartbreak. "I can't let her go."

Leaning forward, I could now make out the blue in his eyes and it wavered, shifting like the tides of an ocean whilst his unshed tears shimmered like glass droplets.

"Why not?" I breathed.

"Ashley," His voice broke and my breath hitched at the amount of vulnerability that his eyes held. "I see her e-everywhere. I feel her all the time, like she's a constant s-shadow hovering over me. I hear her crazy laugh in the corner of my mind before she dissolves into that crazy laugh of hers. Even when I go into her room and lay down on her b-bed, I can smell her and if I turn my head to the side I almost catch glimpse of her looking back at me."

He closed his eyes and pulled his hands - our hands - up to his face, leaning into our tangled fingers.

"Tell me," He choked, whimpering into our intertwined fingers "H-How can I let go of somebody who doesn't want to l-leave?"

When he lowered our hands, I was rendered speechless by the revelation that he was seeing her, feeling her, hearing her, smelling her all the time. That must have been tiring and beyond exhausting, always catching glimpses of Taylor, believing for a split second that she was still alive before plummeting back to reality, realising that she was indeed dead. It was like experiencing the first-hand shock upon hearing the death of a loved one, over and over and over again, every single day. And that was before the suffocating grief arrived, numbing the heart and draining it's ability to feel.

Two droplets slipped down his cheeks and dropped onto our hands and in that moment, my skin felt like it was being seared by the agony he was in. Taking a ragged breath, I met his helpless eyes and felt the sudden urge to give him one of Blake's crushing hugs. I wanted to hug him hard enough to break every piece in his grieving heart and piece them back together, bandaging them properly and so that he couldn't break ever again.

I wanted to nurse him back to health, slowly and delicately like a bird with a broken wing.

"You start slowly," I untangled one hand and hesitantly swiped the damp skin beneath his bottom lashes. I caught a few tears, tracing the path they left behind on his cheeks and smiling encouragingly when his breath hitched. "You start off with little things like clearing out her room, speaking about her in the past tense, y'know? Things that just cement the fact that she's dead without repeating it to yourself over and over again. Your heart knows that she's gone but your mind needs to understand that as well."

His pained expression only intensified at my suggestions and I felt his hands tense, but at least he didn't repudiate them. Making sure that his tears were all gone, I wove my fingers through his again and continued to trace soothing circles with my other hand. I gripped his hand more tightly and felt relieved when he relaxed slightly.

"I know it's hard and it's only gonna get harder but listen to me Tyler, it may feel worse right now but just remember that once we've hit the worst it can only get better from there."

His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion when I mentioned 'we' and I couldn't help but chuckle lightly. Did he seriously think I was going to let him do this alone? It was going to get worse, much worse, and Tyler was already at breaking point. I didn't even want to consider what he's going to be like when he hits rock bottom.

Blinking sea-green eyes searched my molten gold ones.

"You're going to help me?"

The voice that leapt from his puffy, pink lips was far from his usual deep, grouchy one; it was soft, distant, vulnerable and so childlike that I suddenly felt the urge to cry again.

"Of course, isn't that what friends are for?"

And then he smiled. Through all his tears, Tyler Miller managed a dimpled smile and that was when I knew it. From the heated feeling spreading through my entire body at the smallest hope in his eyes, I knew that he wasn't all that lost.

He was never lost.

He was just broken.

**

The comforting rumble of the engine was suddenly cut off, pulling me out of my deliriously exhausted state. My lack of sleep had finally caught up to me and my eyelids felt heavier than lead. I welcomed Tyler's soft chuckle as he unbuckled his seat belt and it was pleasant to hear the sound as opposed to the sight of him crying during our heart to heart earlier.

After I promised to help him let go of Taylor, I let him cry for a couple of moments, joining him seconds later when the sight of his shoulders shaking made my chest tighten. It was like my lungs were being compressed and squashed together because my heart was swelling up with an aching sadness. I wasn't sure if I was crying because I was sad, or crying because he was sad.

Blinking at him sleepily, I unbuckled my seat belt and stumbled out the car, too tired to protest when he got out of the car as well. Slowly, we walked to my porch in silence. I made a mental note to pick up my bike from the cemetery where I hastily locked it before I let Tyler whisk me away.

As I fumbled for my keys, he turned to face and just watched me with the strangest expression on his face. I couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly but it made my body feel alive. Suddenly my mind was alert and aware of the sea-green orbs roaming my face.

"Thanks, for driving me home," I muttered awkwardly, twirling my keys around my index finger and staring at my feet.

He grunted in reply and I finally plucked up the courage to lift my gaze only to find his eyes were soft and zeroed on my own. Patting my face, I realised that I hadn't bothered to put my glasses on after letting Niagara Falls pour out of my eyes in front of him.

If the look in his eyes had caught me off guard, his next actions made my heart leap up to my throat in shock. In one swift movement, I was suddenly yanked forward and my head was plastered against his chest as he buried his face into my hair and let out a long sigh, tickling my scalp with the comforting warmth of his breath.

I could feel the faint thump of his strangely fast heartbeat but after the raging shock within me dwindled to an overwhelmed surprise, I lifted my arms which hung loosely at my sides and slid them across his back before pressing my face deeper into his chest.

"I should be the one thanking you," His voice was muffled by my curls and he tightened his hold on me as if I was capable of running away at any instant.

His embrace was nothing compared to Blake's painful hugs or Mona's air-sucking strangles or even Mom's loose hugs; it made my stomach dip dangerously as if I was being continuously turned upside down on a roller coaster but at the same time his hold was tight enough to make me feel safe and secure.

Eventually, his arms slackened around my waist and I reluctantly peeled my head off his chest, instantly missed the comforting sound of his hammering heartbeat.

"Do you really think you can help me let go of Taylor?" Tyler whispered, looking down at me.

Smiling widely, I nodded quickly making a few locks fall into my eyes and obscure my vision.

"As long as you don't give up on yourself, then I won't give up on you, promise?" I whispered back, holding out my pinky finger just like we used to do as kids.

He looked at me for a long moment, his eyes flickering back and forth between mine before he loosened his grasp on me and stepped back to place some distance between us. A fleeting glimpse of determination crossed his eyes as he wrapped his pinky finger around mine, giving it a swift shake before letting go.

"Promise."

However, Tyler's eyes returned to their previous exhaustion, dimmed by the usual grief and sorrow when he turned around and left. It was going to take a lot more than a pinky promise to chase away his inner demons, but the question was: how?

I couldn't help myself let go of my father so how could I help him let go of Taylor?