"Breathe in." Y/n did as she was told. Her eyes darted from one nurse to her side and over to the other. 

"Doing great, now hold it in." Once again, y/n did as she was told. Holding her breath hurt horribly, she fought through the pain and kept it in. 

"Now, exhale slowly." The nurse emphasized her words. Y/n's breath was shaky. Trying to keep her breathing steady made her feel like she was suffocating. 

The nurse went through the cycle again, over and over. Breathe in, hold, breathe out. They pushed her medical bed down the spotless white hallways. Y/n's eyes frantically scanned each face as she passed by. There were too many people. 

They pulled her into a room. The room smelled of chemicals. It reminded her of bleach. Her bed jerked as they lowered her down a bit. Pain shot all around her body, and y/n groaned. 

Y/n watched the nurses crowded around her. One began to attach cords and tubes to her skin while the other wrote something down on a clipboard. In the background, y/n noticed more nurses walking in with the doctor. 

The doctor was a tall, chubby woman with dark hair hiding under her scrub cap. She spoke to the nurses around her in a low tone. One held up their clipboard, and the doctor pointed her finger along the top of the paper.

Y/n tried to listen in on them, through all the pain. She couldn't hear them over the sound of the machine beeping next to her and equipment being rolled in. Little did y/n notice, she had her body run on autopilot. She had been following the nurses' instructions without noticing. 

When her attention returned to her body, y/n had noticed her legs were propped up. The doctor walked up to y/n and took a peek. She turned to the nurse next to her and continued to whisper. With a smile, she looked over at y/n. "Looks like someone is ready to come out and say hello." 

"What? No!" Y/n spoke in a panicked tone. "It's not time yet. I still have almost two more months." 

"Sometimes, early births happen." The smile faded from her face. The doctor walked up to y/n's side with a clipboard. "We still have a bit of time, I have a few questions I need to go through before we begin." 

It seemed like the doctor was going through a list of questions on the board. Do you drink? Smoke or drugs? Any allergies? She looked up from her clipboard, the frown still engraved on her face. "And you came here all alone? No family to accompany you?" 

Y/n ground her teeth before answering. "No, no family here." The doctor made an off-hand comment about how she's surprised y/n was able to fight through the pain and get herself to a hospital without any help. Y/n kept silent. 

The doctor took another peek. "It looks like you're ready." 

Y/n knew it wasn't going to be a painless process, but she didn't quite expect it to be as taxing on her body as she thought. Even with medications to ease her discomfort, y/n still felt shots of pain run along her nerves. 

The doctor stood in front of y/n, two more stood on either side. Sometimes they walked over to the other side of the room. Y/n could never see what exactly they were doing or saying. 

Y/n had a nurse on both sides. One offered to let y/n hold her hand if it made her feel better. Y/n took it and held on tightly.

The nurse to her other side was in charge of talking, it seemed. She praised y/n and encouraged her to keep going. Sometimes she broke away from the compliments to explain what was going on. Y/n practically forgot how to breathe when she announced that a head was beginning to crown. 

Y/n looked at the nurse with a saddened expression. "I don't know what that means." She informed y/n that she was in the home stretch, and she was almost done. 

Just over the cloth that draped over her legs, y/n noticed the nurses in front of her lean forward. She turned around and walked away with a little bundle in her arms.

The woman who was informing y/n of what everyone was doing followed close behind. Y/n watched the two talk before returning to her side. "Is it the boy or the girl?" y/n asked. 

The nurse looked up at the one holding y/n's hand for a moment. "The girl," she replied. 

Hearing the arrival of the little girl made y/n's chest heavy. She couldn't breathe. Tears rolled down her cheek. The nurse who was holding y/n's hand cleared the tears away. She smiled at y/n. "Come on now, we still have one more." 

Delivering the baby boy was nowhere near as uncomfortable as her baby girl. One nurse explained that it was most likely easier because she knew what kind of pains to expect. 

The nurse announced to y/n that the boy's head was now crowning, and she only had a few more pushes to go. 

Y/n watched a nurse take away the second bundle in his arms as the doctor gave y/n her last bit of direction. 

Y/n wasn't sure how long it had been since her baby boy's delivery, but it felt like years. Y/n asked if she could see them. The nurse smiled in response, not saying a word. 

The doctor left the room, leaving y/n with the two that have been by y/n's side since the beginning. After filling out paperwork on their clipboards, they wheeled y/n's medical bed into a recovery room. 

Y/n was tired; she was exhausted before she came limping past the hospital doors. Her eyelids grew heavy as y/n made one last futile attempt to ask about the babies, her words slurred as she asked what color their eyes were. Y/n wasn't sure if the nurses answered her question before everything went black. 

Y/n woke up and rubbed her eyes, she still felt tired. Off to the side, y/n noticed a large red button. Y/n weakly reached out and pressed it. A voice rang out from the contraption. "Yes?" 

"When can I see my babies?" Y/n waited. The button by her bedside went quiet. 

"I'll-" the nurse paused; "we will have to discuss this with a doctor, first." the room went quiet. Y/n stared at the wall in front of her. 

In all of the movies and shows she's watched, it always seemed like new mothers got to hold their babies right away. Y/n had just finished taking a nap in the recovery room, and she hasn't even gotten a chance to look at them. She kept her mind busy by sulking over how that didn't seem to be the case. 

The little recovery room y/n was in didn't have a clock. The only reason why y/n knew that hours had passed was from the setting sun outside her window. Every once in a while, a nurse would come in and check on y/n. Each time, y/n asked to see her babies. Every time, they would promise she'd see them soon. 

Y/n didn't believe them.

The sun went down and came back up and then down again. Her babies were almost two days old, and y/n still hadn't offered to see either of them. Y/n heard the door open. She sat up straight as she told herself that she was going to demand to see her twins. 

Y/n opened her mouth, ready to scream, rant, and rave before the nurse stepped foot into the recovery room. She paused. Her eyes watered instantly. 

The nurse was holding something bundled up in a blanket. Y/n had her arms out, already ready to take the baby from him. 

"Oh, this is such a sweet little boy," the nurse said. He carefully helped y/n hold the little boy in her arms. 

Y/n couldn't think, speak, or breathe. Finally, now holding one of her twins in her arms made the reality of everything sink in. She was still alone. She still didn't know a thing about being a mother and raising a baby. Here she was with two. Y/n was going to be in charge of protecting her little beans. The feeling of responsibility was heavy on her heart. 

She felt awful knowing that she'd have to take them to that terrible motel. She wished she lived somewhere warm and safer, but in Ogura, that was the best she was going to find. 

Even more so, she was going to have to take them to that bar. Y/n had nothing against Mr. Goda. He's been very kind and has accommodated y/n far more than she ever expected anyone to do. The bar wasn't much safer than her motel room. It was riddled with villains under the influence of drugs and alcohol. She couldn't help but feel like one day something horrible was going to happen there. She refused to even think about what might happen if her twins were there when a villain finally snaps. 

Where she lived and worked weren't her only concerns. For all she knew, y/n was never going to find Tomura. If that was the case, y/n needed to accommodate her twins. She didn't want to raise them in Ogura. She wanted them to have the best life she could possibly offer them. 

But what if she does find Tomura? How often does anyone hear about villains raising a family? Y/n couldn't think of any off the top of her head. At most, she's heard of villains leaving their families behind to pursue their villainy. Even Giran has said something along those lines. 

The way Giran described having a family to y/n, he made it sound like he thought that having a wife or child would hold him down, so he never bothered trying to settle down. Giran was barely a villain compared to someone like Tomura. He was merely a businessman who sold illegal things. No killing, no robbery, nothing too terribly risky. 

If he thought that having a child would hold him down, y/n couldn't imagine how Tomura would feel about having two of his own. Just thinking about it hurt y/n more than she could ever imagine, but she knew if she had to make a choice, she would pick the twins over Tomura. It was the right thing to do. 

Y/n began to uncontrollably bawl as she carefully held onto Tomoru. The nurse tried to ease y/n down by telling her that her hormones were most likely acting up and that she'd begin to feel less sad in a few days. Y/n knew that wasn't true. This wasn't her hormones, this was legitimate stress. 

The nurse kept y/n busy for a moment. He explained how was the best way to hold a baby and to alert someone if he started to cry. The nurse encouraged y/n to try figuring out what was wrong before calling for help. He added to keep in mind that sleep and food was almost always the answer. Y/n nodded, and he stepped outside the recovery room, leaving y/n  and the baby alone. 

She held onto Tomoru. With a gentle finger, y/n lifted his little knit cap to see what his hair color was. Dark h/c. She looked into the little red eyes staring back at her. "You look so much like daddy, you know." Y/n spoke in a broken yet soft voice. 

The little red-eyed baby looked exactly how y/n thought Tomura might have looked when he was a kid. "You're so cute." Y/n smiled at her little one. 

Tomoru let out a little yawn. Y/n's heart instantly melted. As much as y/n wanted to keep Tomoru in her arms and never let go, she still hadn't gotten a chance to meet Tomoko. 

Y/n nudged the red button to her side. Once a voice responded, she requested to see her other baby. The nurse on the other end of the line went silent before agreeing.

Y/n lightly tapped Tomoru's nose, his skin felt so soft under her fingertips. The door swinging open interrupted the moment.

Three nurses came walking in, one with a little bundle of blankets in her arms. One approached y/n and took Tomoru out of her arms; the other stood by y/n's side. 

The nurse holding Tomoko walked over to y/n. "Miss Atsuko," the empty-handed nurse began; "there are some things we need to talk about." 

Y/n didn't have the strength to get out of her bed. Although moving too much was painful, y/n stretched her body out. Trying to catch a glimpse of her baby girl. "Oh! Tomoko!" She held out her hands to the nurse and looked at her with wanting eyes. 

The three nurses looked at each other before y/n was gently handed Tomoko. Y/n looked down at the little black-haired baby. She was physically suffocating. "Hey there, sweetheart," y/n choked out. Her body convulsed with light trembles as she held onto the little girl. 

"We're running tests in the lab right now. Your blood work was perfect, so we're positive you didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes, things like this just happen, and it's out of our control." Y/n was barely listening to the nurse talking to her. All she could do was keep her eyes on Tomoko. 

Y/n lightly held onto her hand. Although she's been bundled tightly in a baby blanket, she was so cold. "Mommy's got you," she whispered. 

"Baby Girl was stillborn. Your baby boy wasn't looking like he was going to make it. He's a little fighter, though. He made a near-instant recovery overnight." Y/n cuddled the little girl in her arms, utterly unphased by the nurse's words, and dejected from what she was being told. 

"I know this isn't what you want to hear, but we still have a bit of paperwork. Once it's done, we can have a funeral in two weeks after we get her lab results." Y/n was barely listening. She was too busy studying the baby with a broken, half-hearted smile. She looked so at peace. There was still color in her skin, it was as if she was merely sleeping and will wake up in just a moment.

Tomoru began to cry. The nurse holding the baby boy excused herself before exiting the room. Y/n listened to Tomoru's sobbing grow quieter.

Y/n sat with her baby girl in her arms, an unwelcome silence filled the room. Suddenly, y/n heard the nurses whispering amongst themselves. "Miss Atsuko, we're going to leave you alone so you can say your goodbyes." 

The two nurses left the room. Y/n's eyes began to well up with tears as soon as the door closed. "Tomoko, wake up sweetie." Her tone was almost playful, mixed with a bit of hope. Almost as if the little girl will spring to life at any moment and open her eyes. 

"Mommy is tired too. I understand." Her voice began to crack as the facade slipped, and the hope began to waver. The playful guise she fabricated fell to shatters, revealing the grief hidden underneath. 

Y/n desperately held onto the little girl, offering to trade her own life to any deity willing to listen. Overwhelming guilt took over. This was all her fault. She knew if she had stayed away from the slums, she wouldn't have lost one baby and nearly lost the other. Both would have been born perfectly happy and healthy. 

She hugged the little girl close to her body. She rocked gently and apologized over and over again to her. Y/n began to bawl, completely brokenhearted. 

Two nurses came rushing in. The two tried to console y/n. They reminded her that she still had a little boy to watch over. They promised she didn't do anything wrong. Nothing was working. She knew they were completely wrong.

One nurse tried to carefully pry Tomoko from y/n's grasp. Y/n's hold tightened, her fingers dug into the pink baby blanket desperately, refusing to let her go. 

The third nurse came in, she offered a trade. If y/n was willing to let go of Tomoko, she'd let y/n hold Tomoru. 

Y/n desperately looked at Tomoko and then over to Tomoru. She began to panic and hyperventilate, feeling like she was told to pick one over the other. She's only known them for a few hours each, and she already loved both of them more than she could ever imagine. 

She began to wail as she felt her grip lightly slip from the pink baby blanket. Once Tomoko was freed from her mother's hold, Tomoru took her place. 

Y/n buried her face in the little boy's blanket. She felt his tiny, soft hands against her cheek. Although she knew the baby was merely holding onto anything within reach, it felt as if he was trying to wipe away her tears. 

She gently hugged Tomoru close to her, tears still streaming down steadily. Y/n watched the nurses carry Tomoko away. Her heart broke as soon as she heard the door close. 

Y/n cuddled Tomoru. She felt the baby begin to fuss in her arms. "I bet you miss her most of all, don't you?" Y/n gently rubbed the baby's cheek. "I promise we will both be fine. I have you, and you have me. Everything will be alright." 

Y/n's promise felt weak and frail. She already failed one child. Y/n didn't have the confidence to say she won't fail again.