CH 16: Unfairness of Life (edited)

It was late at night when Francis and Arthur awoke to screaming, with panicked looks on their faces they both ran to the boys' room. Alfred was screaming as Matthew tried to calm him."Daddy! He just woke up screaming what do I do!" Matthew's voice was strained and filled with panic. "Matthew.." Arthur quickly brought Alfred into his arms and sat on the edge of the bed. "Shh..it's okay Alfred." He pressed the crying boy to his chest. "I'm here." He assured.

Alfred's face was twisted in fear and pain Francis sat next to Matthew who stayed silent with a pained look in his delicate eyes. "Alfred." Arthur stroked Alfred's hair that was plastered to his forehead with sweat. "Please calm down love, you're safe." Arthur pleaded anxiously. "Dad. Dad, I'm scared." Alfred whimpered, Matthew flinched at his brother's actions he always saw his brother as strong and brave.

But now he finally saw how vulnerable Alfred was, and how similar they both were when it came to nightmares. "There's nothing to be afraid of, I'm here," Arthur stated. "Mattie...where's Mattie!?" Alfred thrashed around in Arthur's arm. "He's here." Arthur quickly grasped onto Matthew's arm and pulled him close. "He's right here, see." Alfred laid his eyes on his frightened brother and instantly calmed down. "Mattie." His lip trembled. "I'm sorry Mattie!" he exclaimed and outstretched his arms for him.

Matthew felt his heart swell, and he instantly hugged his brother with the little strength he had. "What are you sorry for Alfie?" Matthew asked. "You did nothing wrong." He stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "I thought you disappeared because in my dream we both fought and...and I...wished..." He trailed off, not being able to finish his sentence, more tears had choked him leaving him speechless. Arthur grew worried and sat Alfred upright on his lap, Francis had kept his distance knowing well enough that Arthur was in parent mode at the moment, and boy did he look scary.

A sudden pang at his chest made Francis nearly stumble back, the sudden pain took him by surprise almost knocking the wind out of him. Arthur looked at Francis with hard emerald green eyes, Alfred had buried his face in his shirt as he trembled and whimpered and Matthew could only watch as his brother continued to somewhat suffer in foul emotions.

Arthur leaned over to Francis and whispered in his ear. "Would you please take Matthew to our bed? I'm going to stay with Alfred for a while." After that, he pulled away and glanced down at Matthew with a pitiful look in his eyes. "Alright, Matthew." Francis stood and scooped Matthew into his arms. "It's time for bed, let your daddy take care of Alfred okay?" Matthew whimpered and squirmed in Francis's arms. "But I need to be with Alfred!" he exclaimed in a panicked tone.

Francis winced and hugged Matthew tight as he reluctantly trudged out the room. Matthew was still trying to escape Francis's arms when Francis arrived at his and Arthur's room he closed the door behind him and set Matthew on the bed. Matthew scrambled off the bed as soon as he was released and ran toward the door, but Francis was quick to act and once again had Matthew in his arms. With a heavy heart Francis locked the door and once again placed Matthew on the bed, Matthew climbed off the bed once again and went toward the door only this time the door wouldn't budge and Matthew had no idea how to unlock the door.

A tiny shriek escaped his lips as he practically leaned against the door, Francis sat on the ground watching guiltily as Matthew gave up and stayed silent. The sound of sniffling alarmed Francis, Matthew's shoulders shook with quiet sobs. "I want Alfie." He stated in a teary voice. "Please papa. He's scared." He turned around, Francis immediately broke at the sight in front of him. There Matthew stood trembling his face flushed red with fat tears rolling down and dripping from his chin. "Matthew, I'm so sorry." Francis could feel himself about to tear up.

He clutched at his chest feeling his heartache as his son sobbed and pleaded to see his brother, and he couldn't do anything. He knew how protective Arthur was over the boys, but why separate them? If he was so protective over his children shouldn't he had made sure that both boys were in good moods and happy?

Not being able to handle any more of Matthew's crying Francis scooted closer to his trembling son and engulfed him into a hug, he held him close to his chest and soothingly rubbed his back. "Shh, it's okay my love." He ran his hand through his soft blonde hair. "Take deep breaths." He instructed in a calm soothing tone. "Alfred will be okay, and soon enough he will be sleeping by your side again." He reassured with a small glum smile. "I promise he will."

Matthew continued to cry, but his sobbing had soon quieted down to whimpers. "Papa." His voice wavered. "Yes, Matthew?" Francis hummed, there was a long moment of silence before Matthew continued.  "...does daddy love Alfred more?" he asked quietly, his hands grabbing fistfuls of Francis's shirt. The question had made Francis' blood run cold and made his heart literally stop. "O-of course not!" he exclaimed. "Your daddy loves you and your brother equally, never forget that." He said in a somewhat demanding tone to which Matthew nodded obediently, but still not fully understanding. If his other father loved them both then why couldn't he allow him to stay with Alfred? Why was he the only one who held Alfred close while his papa Francis watched with sad eyes?

Matthew frowned not being able to shed another tear as thoughts and questions filled his mind, he listened to Francis' heart as it beat in an almost medolic rhythm, it soothed him and eased him to drowsiness. He yawned which caused Francis to quietly chuckle, and then allowed his exhaustion to take over letting his eyes close and his body go limp in the familiar arms of his papa. Francis waited a good forty-five minutes before slowly standing up and carefully trudging over to tuck Matthew into his and Arthur's bed, he carefully lied him down propping his head on a pillow and then threw a blanket over him, he smiled to himself and placed a kiss on Matthew's forehead before quietly exiting the room leaving the door open a crack.

In the other room though the lights were on, and the only noises Francis could make out was quiet humming and whimpering. His heart clenched with pain and made him double over as he remembered Matthew's question that had struck him so hard it was sure to leave a scar in his heart, taking a breath to calm himself Francis straightened his posture and ran his hand through his hair. "Calm down." He muttered to himself. "You just need....to..." His vision was suddenly blurry for tears had filled his eyes. "Stay strong." He choked out and furiously wiped away his tears.

He cleared his throat and headed toward the lit room when he peeked in he almost stumbled back. Arthur was sitting on the bed holding a whimpering Alfred in his arms as he hummed a quiet tune. Francis then remembered Matthew who now slept soundly alone with nothing to cling to, sure Francis could've stayed with Matthew, but he moved a lot in his sleep he was afraid to hurt his son. Swallowing his courage Francis straightened himself out and quietly entered the room, Alfred flinched at the noise and Arthur frowned in annoyance, the trio were obviously tired.

Arthur sent Francis a frown. "Francis love...are you not tired? You should go to bed." He suggested with a strained voice. "Bon." Francis shook his head in protest as a response. "Why not?" Arthur asked. "Because I just can't leave you here with Alfred, mon amour you have to listen to me." The desperation in Francis' voice made Arthur worry. "What is it?" he asked anxiously. Francis was suddenly reluctant to speak it felt as if someone or something completely cut him off and left him mute. "Francis?" Arthur called out to him in worry, he did not like how pale Francis was getting.

Finally being able to regain the confidence to speak Francis parted his lips. "I think it would be better if you allowed the boys to sleep together again." He said without a shakiness in his voice, he was instantly proud of himself. But it was short-lived, Arthur froze. "But, Alfred is very terrified right now. Why not wait until tomorrow?" he suggested with a waver in his voice. Francis frowned and shook his head. "Non, if we keep them away it'll only cause more trouble." His legs trembled underneath him.

Arthur looked away. "Just this night." He mumbled under his breath. "Arthur please.." Francis begged. "The boys have each other. They have gone through so much together, and they have faced problems together and solved them. Arthur this is one of those problems they need to face and solve together." Francis explained with all the energy he had within himself, he now felt drained and tired. Arthur gave a scowl this time. "But this time it's different, Alfred is very terrified and so scared, he's shaking Francis. He's shaking so much, and did you not hear him screaming? He's never screamed like that before." Arthur tried hard not to raise his voice. "I understand, but you need to understand that Matthew needs his brother as well." Francis retorted.

And while they continued to protest against one another Matthew trembled on the bed in the other room, he had woken up to no one beside him. Alfred was pretending to sleep, but he just couldn't handle it anymore. His eyes shot open and he squirmed in Arthur's arms surprising both of his fathers. "A-Alfred? What is it? Does something hurt?" Arthur asked quickly and anxiously. "I'm fine." He reassured in a low grumble. "Please let me go, dad." He looked at Arthur with tired eyes. "Alfred you shouldn't be up right now, you need your rest," Arthur stated Francis was about to complain to Arthur, but Alfred beat him to it. "Dad." He started.

"My brother is alone, and he has no one with him. I know he's awake too.." He crawled out of Arthur's arms. "And he's scared." With that Alfred hopped off the bed and ran to his parents' room where Matthew was curled up in a tight ball trembling with something Alfred was already familiar with. Fear. But he already knew what to do, he always knew.

In the other room, both Francis and Arthur were silent. "You shouldn't have come in," Arthur mumbled. "Why not? You're both part of my family, and there's no way I'm letting any of you lose your sleep and ruin your health." Francis explained. "Francis, what made you so upset?" Arthur asked curiously. "Arthur, when I was with Matthew in our room. He began sobbing because he missed his brother, and when I held him as he cried he asked me a terrible question." His voice cracked. Arthur grew anxious.

"He asked me...if you loved Alfred more. And that question killed me, Arthur. And I got so upset because somehow...you were the one that caused it, and I didn't want it to be you." Francis tried desperately to recollect himself. Arthur trembled and frantically shook his head. "I-I didn't..." He couldn't find the right words to use. "Oh god, Francis." He blubbered. "I'm a horrible father." He exclaimed and tugged at his hair. "I've hurt my whole family!" dry sobs ripped through his throat. His breathing became labored and desperate.

Francis was quickly by Arthur's side and instantly engulfed him into a tight hug, Arthur's tears stained Francis' shirt, but that didn't matter. Francis soothingly rubbed his back. "Breathe mon amour. Calm down." He instructed calmly, right now it was Francis' turn to comfort his love, he wondered how long Arthur carried the guilt with him for so long. Just thinking about it made his heartache. "Arthur mon amour please." He held Arthur close to his chest. "Listen to me." He demanded in a low soothing tone. "You kept our children alive, you gave them a home and so much love." Arthur stayed silent with his breathing back to normal as tremors shook his body, but he kept listening to Francis' words.

Francis sat on the bed next to Arthur and pulled him even closer. "And you've brought me back from my torture. You nurtured me back to health even though you could've left me there on the ground. I love you so much, Arthur." He pulled away and held Arthur's face in his hands. "Life can be unfair to us sometimes, but we just got to fight it." He glumly smiled at his lover. "Together as a family, we can all be strong together." With his final words, Francis leaned forward and captured Arthur's lips in his own. And as exhaustion soon caught up to them they returned to their room only to be met with a beautiful sight.

There on their bed lied Alfred and Matthew holding each other in their arms, Matthew had rested his head on Alfred's shoulder with his arm draped over Alfred's waist. And Alfred slept with his face in his brother's hair his arms wrapped around Matthew. Not wanting to disturb their children both Francis and Arthur climbed onto their side of the bed and together draped one of their arms over their children, Arthur grasped onto Francis's hand and smiled lovingly at him. "I love you so much, Francis." He whispered. "I love you more." Francis chuckled quietly.

They both looked at their sleeping children. "I love our family." They both whispered in unison

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