Namjoon had never felt so lousy in his life. He had never hated himself so much before.

He should really do something about it.

But he wouldn't.

He took the safer route, the easier route. The cowardly route.

But was it really easier?

Maybe, but it definitely wasn't easy.

It was painful to watch YeongMi alone without giving in. It was hard, inconceivably hard to not go to her, apologize, make it right.

He wanted to go back, do it all again, and do it better.

Instead, he let Bora have her way. He let her pull him along, away from YeongMi, and away from the person that he wanted to be. Away from the things he craved, and the life he wanted to lead.

He wasn't the boy she remembered, the boy she thought him to be.

But he didn't tell her.

He only watched, knowing that he had let everyone down, as YeongMi was isolated by her biting attitude. He watched her suddenly become the person Seungkwan had warned him about. He watched, and he suffered, and he lamented, and he did nothing.

He watched as his friends lost a friend. He watched as YeongMi retreated from her chance at a healthy social life. Her chance to really, truly heal. He watched, and he knew she would never be the same.

And now, with his last attempt to talk with her having failed, he found himself wanting to give up.

She wasn't interested, and he was fooling himself to think she could have feelings towards him, towards all of them.

If she didn't want them in her life, then who was he to try and push it? No, he would not be the pathetic ex friend. He knew when he wasn't wanted.

That didn't make it hurt any less, though. He wanted to be wanted, he wanted her to want him, like he wanted her.

But it was a lost cause, and it was no use trying to change that fact.

She was the most stubborn person he had ever met. How could he be a match to her fiery anger and steadfast grudges?

He couldn't possibly do that.

And from what he had seen, the only person who had a chance to be with her was Hoseok.

He felt his own bitterness rise at that thought.

Fine, if he wasn't good enough, why should he increase his suffering for a girl who wanted something different - someone different?

He sat back in discontent as everything unfolded, deluding himself with philosophies of everything happening for a reason.

This was meant to be, after all. Wasn't it?

He wasn't sure. Not anymore.

But he knew that he wasn't happy. He wasn't happy with how things ended. He wasn't happy with how things had turned out. He wasn't happy with Bora. He wasn't happy being without YeongMi.

He missed it, he missed her.

And while missing her, he missed his detention.

While Namjoon had missed it, detention, YeongMi went back for her detention.

She had only gone back so that she wouldn't have to go through more punishment later.

Oh, how she regretted that decision.

Mrs. Xi was everything that Mrs. Park was not. She was impossibly old, shrewd, and unable to converse in a friendly manner.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Yi YeongMi. You must be trying to get kicked out of school."

Not an idea YeongMi was averse to.

YeongMi only shrugged, looking away like an angry toddler, her arms crossed and body turned to the side.

"Well, if you're going to act like a child, then you'll be treated as a child."

YeongMi looked at the disciplinary teacher in confusion. She had expected the standard smack against her hands, not this.

She followed the woman out into the hallway, realization pooling into her gut and lingering, the drain sealed shut, leaving her to suffer with no relief.

"I assume that you're familiar with this punishment?"

Actually, YeongMi had never had to do this shame - inducing punishment before. By the time she went to school alone, she was old enough to be hit.

She forced back a gulp, staring forward with a stony glare, her lips tightly pursed in annoyance as she held her arms out. 

Her cheeks reddened as the passing students whispered, pointing at her and laughing.

It was meant to embarrass her, she knew that. It was precisely what Mrs Xi wanted - to humiliate her. But the knowledge of it did nothing to stop it from coming true.

Unnoticed, Namjoon stared for a moment, his feet hovering in the halls.

Even from this distance, he could see that her arms were shaking.

But her face was as composed as ever, the only hint of discomfort being the uncharacteristically red cheeks.

She wouldn't break for this, and she wouldn't break for him.

He turned his back on her just as she noticed him.