YeongMi leaned against the ledge, a slowly burning cigarette hanging precariously out of her mouth.

She stared at the world, which seemed so unnecessary at this height, from the roof. She felt like she was above it all, like a spectator sitting on a cloud and watching the idiotic human race for entertainment.

Then, she looked down, at the ground far beneath her. She knew that if she fell, or jumped, her skull would be crushed, and she would be gone in the span of seconds. The intense knowledge of her very own frailty was something that terrified her, and yet, she felt drawn to it. Lifting one leg up, she carefully sat on the ledge, swinging her legs to hang in the empty air beneath her.

Her heart raced.

The wind was a whisper of a taunt, telling her that she was in danger, but it did nothing to scare her away.

She didn't care.

She carelessly let the toxins fill her lungs before breathing out slow puffs of smoke that burned her eyes and drifted into her hair. 

"Does it hurt a lot?"

She turned to see the unwelcome boy staring at her, mild panic in his eyes.

For a moment, she got lost in the fact that the Sun shining behind his head made it seem like he himself was the Sun.

She reached up to touch the bandage on her cheek, covering the scrape of Bora's nail carved into her skin. She assumed that he was talking about the scratch, and not the situation.

For a brief moment, YeongMi could see Bora in front of her, see the smirk fall as YeongMi's fist smashed against her cheek, and she could hear her fingers cracking as the force pulled at the sockets. She could feel the rage that had filled her body and blinded her eyes to everything but Bora.

It was a scary experience, being so angry that she wasn't even fully aware of what she was doing.

And then she was back to the present, shrugging and turning away from him nonchalantly.

"You really shouldn't be up here."

"Neither should you," she countered, calmly finishing her cigarette before grinding it onto the stone beside her.

She allowed Hoseok to help her off the ledge, for reasons she didn't quite understand.

His hand lingered in hers for a moment too long, and for a second, as she stared into his eyes, she felt her chest wrapped up in warmth.

She pulled away quickly, turning and leaving the boy alone on the roof.

The warmth lingered for a while longer, and only when she was in bed did she feel it dying down.

With a heavy sigh, she reached for her phone, staring at the screen screaming at her, obnoxiously telling her about all of her unread texts.

She passed by them quickly, opening the new group chat with Loser and Angel.

Hey, I see that you're reading these, so you can't hide. I've been dealing with Jeonghan just for you, the least you can do is respond.

Fuck. You. Seungkwan.

-There's no need to fight over me, really.

I think I'll leave that for your schoolboys.
There's not much to fight over anyways.

And I'm your brother, I don't have to fight over you.

YeongMi felt her eyes burning, and she took a moment to recover before responding.

-They're not 'my' schoolboys.
And they're not important.

Bullshit, baby.

Did something happen??
??
??
??
Idiot?
I mean precious little sister.
I asked you a question.

-It doesn't matter.
But we're not friends
Anymore?
I don't know if we ever were

Joint vacations = definite friendship

-Well apparently not in my case.
Whatever, it was too tiring to have them around anyways.
I'm glad we're done.

YeongMi stared around her empty, lonely room and felt her throat close up painfully.

She swallowed the fact that she was lying, she was lying out of her teeth, that she missed them, she missed them dearly. She wanted the loud, rambunctious boys back.

She wanted to hear Yoongi yell at the T.V when the girl in a drama was stupid; she wanted to see him redden and walk away before someone could accuse him of actually paying attention to the drama.

She wanted to catch Taehyung making faces at her back, and see him laugh shamelessly when she glared at him.

She wanted Jungkook to show off the newest dance that he learned from his favourite idols, and see his shy, pleased smile when she praised him.

She wanted Jimin's constant displays of affection, to feel his hand grabbing hers, to see him lean his head towards her, an offering for her to play with his hair.

She wanted to dance with Hoseok, and see how proud and happy he got when others complimented him on the dance.

She wanted to see Jin's amused smile as he watched it all, and she wanted him to insist that she come with them wherever they were going.

She wanted to catch Namjoon staring at her, she wanted to discuss the philosophies of life with him, she wanted to watch as a smile overtook his face, as his dimples dipped prominently and his eyes pulled together in happiness.

She wanted him.

But he didn't want her, and she would sooner die than be the pathetic girl who begged for love where there was none.

She wanted to walk into her room to find Hyjoon comfortably lying across her couch, she wanted to hear her casual greeting, as if it was completely normal for her to be in YeongMi's room. She wanted to nonstop battle of wits, and the careless teasing.

But she couldn't have it, she wouldn't have it, not anymore.

MiMi? I'm sure you can fix it, if you try. What happened?

-It doesn't matter, just drop it.

No, we love you
Even if you aren't gorgeous like us

-You know modesty is in nowadays.
You should try it sometime

Were not done talking about this YeongMi

YeongMi put her phone down and curled up to sleep.

But everytime she shut her eyes, the image of Namjoon and Bora kissing assaulted her.

Another sleepless night.

YeongMi moved to the balcony, lighting up another cigarette with a hopeless sigh.