Namjoon had fallen asleep, Jin was sore, and nobody else had their driving license.

That's how YeongMi ended up driving the truck. Fun for her, terrifying for the boys.

"You're going too fast!"

"Could you maybe slow down.... just a bit?"

So she was going slightly faster than the requested speed, but that was more of a suggestion anyways, right?

Sure.

YeongMi grinned and went faster, laughing lightly.

Call it revenge for all the whining.

"Calm down, we're almost there. I'm just.... saving you guys some time."

Jin was too tired to chastise her, and Yoongi was in the back with Jimin, Hoseok and Hyjoon. So YeongMi was free to do as she pleased, even if Taehyung and Jungkook were more than a little concerned.

"Jungkook, if we're about to die, I have to tell you something."

"Oh shit, Jimin already said this to me earlier - "

"I love you bro. You're my favourite baby friend."

"Wait, I'm your only younger friend."

"That's not the point - " Taehyung's voice was embarrassed, and YeongMi snorted.

Look at her, helping the boys speak their feelings. She was practically a goddess.

"If we die I want you all to know that I hate all of your asses and I'm not your mom so I hope you regret all the times you called me that, I'm obviously a man, a very handsome man and you all are lucky to have me."

She admired Jin's complete confidence, but she wondered if it was an act, as hers was.

"If we die, we die. You shouldn't say things you wouldn't say normally because you'll regret them if we don't die. Besides, who knows what happens after death. Maybe death isn't even a thing."

YeongMi jumped a little when she heard Namjoon's voice.

She hadn't known he was awake now.

While the boys pondered what Namjoon had said, YeongMi took a chance to glance at Namjoon.

She didn't want things to be awkward between them. She didn't want him to think she was mad at him for what he had said earlier, or that she was upset or anything.

She knew he hadn't said it in a way intended to hurt her, so she wasn't upset with him, or what he had said.

She gave him a smile, and quickly turned before he could distract her with his dimpled smile in return.

"Hey, YeongMi?"

She swallowed back the nerves.

"Yeah, Namjoon?"

She clenched her hands on the steering wheel, trying not to think about how she loved the way her name sounded between Namjoon's lips. Much better than Bora's did.

Her name seemed like it belonged in Namjoon's mouth, rolling off his tongue and sliding through his lips. Bora's sounded forced, like bile being shoved out.

But maybe that's just how YeongMi hoped it was.

"You know you're supposed to turn right here?"

"Shit!"

YeongMi slammed on the brakes and roughly pulled into the small street.

She spoke before the countless complaints came in.

"Blame everyone for making me drive when I don't know where the fuck I'm going."

She rolled her shoulders to hide her unease leftover from the sudden turn.

"Also, blame Namjoon for taking forever to tell me."

She wondered if anyone could tell that her hands were shaking.

For all the game she talked about her wild driving, she was actually worried that she would hurt the boys.

She carefully turned into the driveway that Namjoon pointed to, almost as if it was an apology, to make up for the abrupt turn earlier.

As they all got out, Jin began to explain the nice house in front of them.

"My parents rent this out, but I asked that we could have it for our week vacation, and they've allowed it."

YeongMi nodded absentmindedly, focusing more on the sound of the sea in the background rather than Jin's words.

~

She was thrown back 6 years. Her parents had had a 4 week special. They were in Hawaii, learning to surf. The kids were included. Seungkwan had cried because he was scared of sharks and didn't want to surf.

YeongMi had brashly claimed that she would scare all of the sharks away, so that Seungkwan could surf without being scared. No one had taken her seriously, and she had sulked for an entire week, spending all of her time working with the instructor.

She had ended up the best surfer.

It was one of the only family vacations that she had actually enjoyed.

Seungkwan and her had snuck out every night and gone to the town as casual nobodies, rather than the untouchable children of famous parents.

He used to be her best friend. Her only friend, really.

When he left for training, YeongMi found herself lost and alone. Everything was so drastically different without her big brother there. She was the only child available to film, and the intensity of her solo filming had exponentially increased. She couldn't handle it.

Maybe if he had still been around, she wouldn't have turned out this way.

But that wasn't fair, he deserved to be happy too, he had to pursue his dream. She wanted him to be happy and free too. Though the idol life wasn't exactly free, it was what made him happy.

She sighed, cursing Jeonghan in advance for the gloating text he would no doubt send her when he found out about this.

You're still an asshole.

This doesn't mean that I'm okay with what you did.

But I miss you.

Stupid Seungkwannie.

She pressed send before she could change her mind.