"Have you seen my phone?" I asked Cameron while leaning my head into the bathroom door.

My sexy man was busy brushing his fabulous white teeth, wearing just his boxers. He shook his head no and spat his toothpaste out in the sink.  He washed it down and grabbed for his mouthwash. He poured some in to swirl it around. I leaned against the wall watching him for a bit longer. My baby always took such good care of himself.  

I felt the moisture seeping back between my legs as I watched him. I was still sore from last night and started shifting around, trying to get the growing feelings to stop.  I never learned my lesson. It always made it so much worse.

"Somebody a little worked up over there?" He asked, giving me side-eyes.

"Maybe." I smiled and walked back behind him to kiss his back. 

"Well, unfortunately, I can't do anything about that right now. You have group and I promised Ron I would meet him at the shooting range for some practice.  He needs it."  He smiled and pulled my arms tightly around him.

"Boo." I pouted. I wanted to see the tattoo again.

Cameron took my hand off his chest and flipped it over to open it.  I felt him place a small, cool object in my palm.  I pulled my hand back around and looked down at it.  

Cameron had given me a key.

"What is this?" I asked, knowing damned well what it was. I was in shock.

"The key to my front door.  I figured since you were staying with me, you would need one just in case I was at work or something." He smiled. He turned around and pulled me close to his chest and kissed me on the forehead. 

"I don't want to go," I whined at him.

"You know you need to." He kissed me again.

"I know. But I don't have to be happy about it." I grumped. "I better get moving or I'm going to be late."

I stepped away from him and grabbed my bag off his dresser and slung it over my shoulder.  I began walking to the bedroom door to leave.

"Jess, darling. You forgot your phone."  Cameron walked out and handed it to me. I looked down at it, confused.  When did I bring it into the bathroom?

"Where did you find it? I have been looking for it all morning."  I asked him as I furrowed my brow.

"Jess, you had it in your hand when you came in." Cameron laughed and shook his head. "You are so forgetful sometimes. It's cute, darling."

"Yeah," I whispered.

Something felt off.  I wish I knew what it was.

I shook it away and left the house to get into my car.  I turned the music up full blast as I drove towards the administrative building that held my group meetings. 

When I pulled up, Gabby was sprawled across the pavement staring at her phone.  I went and plopped my butt down right next to her on the hot blacktop.  She looked over at me and sat up quickly.

"Ok, spill. You look like you have a story. What happened?" She was giddy for the gossip.

I spent twenty minutes explaining what happened when someone broke into my house and the pills the cops found in my room.  I complained about my parents' reaction, how the other cops treated me, and even about the fact I was kicked out again. She sat with her mouth hanging open, absorbing it all in.

"Your parents are gigantic dicks."

"Sometimes." I agreed.

I closed my eyes and lifted my head to the sunshine.  I could see the orange glow through my eyelids.  It was a scorching hot day in Ohio. The humidity alone had me sweating profusely. 

I was still in an insanely good mood. Even if my parents were still angry with me, spending the night in Cam's bed took some of the sting away. We didn't get much sleep, but it was worth it. The only thing that made me feel a little strange about anything that happened was the phone incident, but I guess I could have brought it in with me like he said.  It was usually glued to my hand at all times.  I probably didn't realize I was holding it.

"So...speaking of big dicks." I opened my eyes and turned my head back to Gabby. I waggled my eyebrows, celebrating my victory.

"No, you did not."  She smiled. 

"Cam and I made up last night after everything happened. I am staying at his place. He even gave me a key this morning."  I blushed, thinking about him leaning over top of me when he took me for the third time this morning. That boy was a machine.  Just the thought of him alone gave me the tingles.  I couldn't wait to get back to him to continue the fun.

The door to the building opened and a group of around fifteen people poured out. The group before us must have just finished their session.  If I remembered correctly, this group was a trauma group.  Every time they left, they always looked defeated.  I wondered if these groups actually ever helped anyone or if it was just all for show. Either way, I guess it couldn't hurt anything to keep trying. 

I stood my lazy ass up off the ground and dusted my shorts off.  I extended a hand to Gabby to help her up too.  We were both groaning like little old ladies as we stretched our muscles out.  

"You ready?"  I yawned. I was tired from my lack of sleep but so keyed up I didn't know what to do with myself.  If I hadn't known my medicine was working, I was starting to think I was going high again.  If my body kept feeling like this, I would probably need to call Dr. Schroeder to get checked out just to be sure. 

I was relieved when we walked out of the summer heat and into the cool air-conditioned building. We made our way to the little room to take our seats.  After a few more minutes, the room began to fill up with other lethargic looking faces. The heat must be taking its toll on everyone today.

The group leader strolled in last and took his place at the head of the room. He was a guy in his late thirties who kind of reminded me of a professor. He even wore the thick glasses and tweed jackets.  He looked around and the whole room shrunk down to hide.  No one looked like they were in a sharing mood today.  I didn't blame any of them. I didn't want to open up today to anyone in the room besides Gabby.

"Jessa, would you like to share anything today?" The group leader asked.

Well, shit.

"Yesterday, my family accused me of using again.  Someone broke into my house and when I called the cops, they found some pills in my room. I don't know how they got there, but I told them they weren't mine."

"Jessa, were they yours?"  The leader asked.

"I don't think they were. I really have no idea how they got into my room." I swallowed. 

"Do you think you might be losing time again?" Gabby asked, taking my hand.  She was trying to be comforting and helpful, but I wished she hadn't asked me that in a room full of people. I told her that piece of information in confidence. It bothered me, but I knew she was only trying to help.

"I really don't think so.  I haven't noticed any signs like when it happened before. I used to just kind of wake up in random places or people would tell me about something I did that I didn't remember. Sometimes during it, I would get hazy seconds of clarity. I had something. This time there is nothing. It can't be that." 

"Jessa, you told me yesterday when we went out to lunch that you woke up that morning in front of that Nathan guy's old studio with no pants on."  She squeezed my hand tighter.  She had a sympathetic look on her face.

What the actual fuck?

"Gabby, we didn't go to lunch yesterday. That didn't happen. I haven't been to Nathan's studio since the day I left town."  I argued back with her.

The whole room sat watching us with their mouths hanging wide open. 

"It did, Jessa.  You called and asked me to come over. I met your Mom and Aiden while I was there. We went out to lunch after we hung out at your house for a little bit with them. Look."  Gabby pulled her phone out of her pocket and unlocked it. She scrolled through a few photos and held one up of me smiling and flipping the bird in the kitchen. My mom and uncle were both standing behind me, frowning at my choice of pose. 

Classy Jessa.

"But...I..." I whimpered. It couldn't be happening again.

"At the restaurant, you talked about how you were going to find a way to get Cameron back and asked me if I still had any old connections.  I talked you out of it for almost two hours.  By the time I left you, I thought you were better.  You weren't rambling anymore. I thought I helped you. I am so sorry I let you down. I should have called your parents and let them know." She was tearing up and tightened her grip on my hand.

"I don't remember that happening, Gabby. I'm sorry if I did anything to make things hard for you. You are a really good friend.  I should have never put you in that situation." I whispered.

"No, Jess, I was just glad I could be there for you. You're my best friend." She pulled me into a hug and squeezed me. 

We sat for another forty-five minutes listening to the room of crying people. After making a mental tally, I realized I had won the crazy award for this session.

I sat lost in my thoughts, trying to figure out what was going on in my head.  I didn't feel crazy.  Did I? Nothing felt like last time but then again, every time with me was different.  What if this time was much worse than the last?  Why would I have gone to Nathan's studio?  I wanted nothing to do with that place anymore.  The only men I wanted in my life were my dad, Jax, and my beautiful golden blond-haired boy.

I was really confused.

All I knew is I wanted to go home to Cameron.  I debated on whether I would tell him or anyone else what Gabby told me in group.  I decided to keep it quiet for now. They would want to take me to get looked at right away as soon as they found out.  Cameron wouldn't even hesitate to drive me right back to the treatment center.  I didn't want that.  I had just gotten him back again. I didn't want to lose him again. 

I had to figure some things out for myself before I brought anyone else in.