"So, Ron?" The guy asked again.

"Oh, sorry. Um, I met him through a friend." I said, looking back towards the house. I wanted to go inside to find Cameron. I felt bad for talking to this guy in front of him even though there was nothing going on between us. I had no interest in him or any of the other thirsty guys that were staring at me with side-eyes.

The bathing suit Gabby let me borrow seemed to be a hit. I looked around and caught a few of the guys from the pool leaning up against the edge, trying to eye fuck me.

The old Jessa would have bit her lip and ran her hands over her curves as they watched. She would be standing over them on the edge of the pool as she slid the suit over just a smidge so they could get a little peek. She would have been high from their desire as their dicks began to harden for her. It would make her feel powerful knowing she could make them all come just by pressing her finger against her clit as they watched.

But I wasn't her anymore. I wasn't that same girl who got off knowing she could have anything she wanted. The attention was too much for me in my current state. I still couldn't believe she and I were even the same person.

I sat down on the lounge chair, figuring I could hide a little bit better if I wasn't standing. My new friend pulled another one right up next to me without asking. He began rattling off random things and asking me questions about myself. I looked up at him and nodded a lot pretending to be interested. He literally did not shut up long enough for me to say anything.

Fuck, he was annoying me.

After over an hour of sitting in the chair listening to the clearly exaggerated stories of his awesomeness, I started to feel a little bit strange. It probably had something to do with the anxiety I was feeling again over Cameron and the mind-numbing conversation with the tool bag next to me. The little red drink cup sitting on the table was looking awfully appealing right now. I knew it had liquor in it. Maybe if I was lucky, the guy slipped something a little stronger in it so I could pass out and lose myself.

Wait, did I actually think that was a good idea?

I caught myself holding the cup in my hand and started to bring it to my lips. I took a deep breath in and placed it back down when I realized what I was about to do. I couldn't break months of sobriety and ruin my recovery this way.

My body started buzzing like it was electrified. Something was seriously wrong with me tonight. I wasn't good right now. My heart was fluttering and my thoughts were feeling garbled in my brain. I had to get out of here before it got any worse.

I kept glancing around, looking for an escape. Gabby was busy playing chicken on Ron's shoulders with some bald guy and a really flat-chested girl. They looked like they were having a blast. I didn't feel right interrupting their fun even though she was my friend and would have stopped to take care of me without hesitation.

To be brutally honest, she wouldn't have been much help anyway. I had always been a complete terror when I started spiraling. I always grew extra arms and devil horns when I lost control of my body. There was only one person here who would know how to take care of me if I was fluctuating up again. He had always been the only person who could even come close to tethering me back down.

I needed my blond boy to come rescue me again.

Where was Cameron?

I had to find him and convince him to take me home before I did something I would regret. I was about to open my mouth to ask the pest next to me if he had seen him when I heard the sliding glass door open.

Cameron walked out of the house with his arm around the waist of that girl I met the night we went out to the bar. I think her name was Kelly. The last time I saw her, she was trying to rub her big boobs all over Cameron's hand to get his attention. At the time, he was too busy keeping his eyes on me to even realize what she was trying to do.

Apparently, whatever she had done to him inside the house must have worked this time. He was definitely noticing her back today.

My lip trembled as Cameron laughed like he didn't have a care in the world. I was sitting over here trying not to fall apart and needing him more than he would ever know while he was busy soaking up every bit of attention she was showering him with. He smiled as he looked down and watched her run her hand down his bare chest and then move it lower to trace the defined muscles on his stomach. She stopped just short of pushing her hand down into his swim trunks to palm him.

I fucking despised her, her stupid teeny teal bikini, and her perfect body. I hated even more that he had his hand touching her skin and not mine.

Even though I wasn't even close to feeling like I could fix the problems between us, I didn't want to see him with someone else either. I was still selfish. He was my Cameron. He belonged to me and not the bitch who was molesting him in front of my face.

Cameron walked her over to the other side of the inground pool and pulled his chair directly in my line of sight. He leaned back in the chair like a king when Kelly sat her perfectly toned ass down right on the center of his lap.

I wanted to go scream in her face and tell her there were more chairs out there. She should go sit on one of them instead of him. He was a person, not a piece of furniture. I was seeing red and wanted to go push her head under the water. Knowing my luck, her big boobs would act like flotation devices and I wouldn't be able to keep her under long enough to drown her in the pool.

Cameron's boyish charm wasn't going to get him off the hook this time either. When I was finished with her, I was planning on smacking the shit out of him. The next portion of my plan included boiling his balls and feeding them to him like two hardboiled eggs.

He leaned into her and whispered into her ear. A huge smile spread across her face as she repositioned directly over top of him. She looked like she was enjoying his massive boner that was digging into her ass right now.

There was no way I was going to be able to hold my temper in any longer.

I was done watching this shit show.

"Do you want to go inside for a little bit?" I interrupted the guy next to me that still hadn't shut up.

"Sure, baby. I would love to spend some alone time with you."