"It's so fucking hot," I complained for the hundredth time this afternoon.

I was sprawled across Gabby's bed in her tiny studio apartment. She had two box fans blowing towards me and it still wasn't helping. The air conditioning in her apartment sucked.

"That's why you should go with me tonight instead of lying at home on your bed like a vegetable. Pool Jessa. Boys and a pool. There is no greater sight than watching man meat by the water." She winked as she pulled out a very tiny black and white polka dot swimsuit from her dresser drawer.

"I can live without the man meat part." I groaned.

I didn't even want to think about anyone touching me after what happened at the interview a couple of days ago. Between uninvited hands all over my body, visions of Nate, and confused feelings about Cam, I was considering taking myself off the market for good. I could do it; I had enough will power.

When I first got here, I broke the news to Gabby about how big of a jerk Celian Meyers was. She was shocked to find out he didn't live up to his reputation as a top job recruiter. We had searched online, trying to find out if he had ever reported the incident to the police or if anyone had ever filed a similar complaint against him. We found nothing in our search.

I was constantly on my guard waiting for someone to come arrest me for assaulting him, but it looked like I might get lucky this time and it was just going to go away on its own. It was sad that the disgusting pervert touched me and I was the one who was afraid of getting in trouble.

"Fine, no muscley men, but how about the pool part? When was the last time you went swimming?" She asked.

"Sixth grade. It was Cameron's first coed birthday party. Well, it was only coed because of me. I was the only girl he invited." I smiled, thinking about the scrawny little boy who gazed up at me with a smile right before he blew out the candles on his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cake. I always wondered what he wished for. I tried tickling him into telling me once, but he said his wish wouldn't come true if he told me.

I could remember the intense game of Marco Polo we had played like it happened yesterday. One of the other boys tried to hold me under the water when he caught me. I kicked and struggled, fighting to get back to the surface to breathe. Cameron came to my rescue and punched the boy in the nose and made it bleed. He helped me climb out of the pool while I was crying and spitting out water. He told me he would never let anyone hurt me and that he would always save me.

Cameron offered to share his beach towel with me and wrapped it around both of us while we sat on the lounge chair, watching the other boys roughly play. He didn't even get back in the pool the rest of the day. The other boys teased him for hanging out with a girl instead of with the rest of the boys. I told him he could go, but he insisted that he was right where he wanted to be. It was his birthday party and he spent it getting made fun of because he stayed with me.

He called me darling for the first time that day. I remembered blushing when he held my hand and whispered it timidly into my ear like it was a secret only he and I shared.

Even back then, Cam was the best person I had ever known. I wished things were different between us. I really missed sharing my life with my best friend. He didn't even know about what happened at the job interview or that I recorded the other day with Stells Leigh. The two of us were practically strangers now.

"You have to go. Don't make me go alone. I need a friend." She whined.

I sighed. I needed a friend too. If Cameron was really out of the picture, maybe Gabby could help take some of the sting away. She would never be able to replace him, but she helped keep me occupied so I only thought about him every thirty seconds instead of the five I did when I was alone.

"Fine, but I don't have a bathing suit, so no swimming for me." I pretended like that really bothered me. In all actuality, I really despised swimming.

Gabby dug another barely-there suit out of her drawer.

"Borrow one of mine." She threw it at me.

I held up the stringy red suit and cringed. The top was two small pieces of fabric held together with the thinnest little strings imaginable. The bottoms weren't much better. The underwear I had on right now covered more skin than this suit did.

Why did she have to do this to me?

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this? It's like a baby doll-sized headband." I asked her as I tried to figure out how it worked. I took the thing that looked like it was the top and tied it over my head. It was barely big enough to cover my ears.

"You wear it, Jessa."

"Is this how it goes?" I asked, pointing to my head.

"You are something else completely." Gabby laughed at me and went to go change into her suit.

She came out a few minutes later looking flawless as usual.

"Your turn."

I went into her bathroom and began trying to tie the suit on my body. I stood in the mirror as I struggled to get the top part that went over my breasts tied. My chest was larger than Gabby's and the top didn't want to cover the girls very well. I stood there manipulating them and prayed they wouldn't pop out on me tonight.

I was slightly relieved to see the bottoms fit pretty well. Since they tied at the hips, it gave me a little wiggle room to work with. They hit me fairly well in the perfect spots. I double knotted them just to be on the safe side. All I would need would be for the tie to catch on something and come undone.

The red suit went well with my hair. It was a good choice for my body shape. Very scandalous, but good.

"Does it fit?" Gabby called through the door.

"Barely, but I think it works," I said, taking one more look in the mirror.

I pulled my denim cutoffs back on over the suit and pulled my ribbed white tank back over the top. The red suit top was highly visible under the tank, which left very little to the imagination. I looked like I was begging for attention.

"Do I always look like I'm asking for it?" I asked my reflection. "Is that why Celian Meyers did that to me? Is what happened my fault? Did I do something I don't remember to lead him on?"

My reflection was no help. She just blinked at me, confused.

"Hey Jess, your alarm is going off." Gabby knocked on the door.

When I opened the door, she placed the phone in my hand. I silenced the annoying thing and she handed me my next round of little white pills in the other hand.

"Which pills are we taking tonight?" She asked, waiting to hear whatever my brain would come up with today.

"2 for the ups, 1 for the downs, and one fills me with air so I can float in the pool," I said, throwing them back and swallowing them.

"So, you want to be a pool raft? Does that mean you want someone to lay on top of you tonight?" She joked.

"Shut up. There will be no one climbing on me tonight." I said, pushing her out of the doorway.