My hands were shaking as I walked up to the recruiter's office. I had never been on a job interview before. My mom sat and prepped me for a long time with question after silly question. She tried to explain how I should answer and turn negative characteristics into positives. She said I needed to learn to sell myself.

How do you sell emotionally unhinged as a positive thing?

The anxiety over the interview today had been stressing my system more than I cared to admit. I was feeling slightly strange, but I knew my nerves had a lot to do with it. I did reach out to Dr. Schroeder's office to see if he thought I should come in to get checked out. He told me the anxiety was normal, but if I didn't feel better by the end of the day, then he wanted me to call back.

I was hoping he was right. I didn't want to lose myself again.

I walked nervously into the lobby and went up to the receptionist, who was too busy typing away to acknowledge me. After standing in front of her for ten minutes without even a head nod, I decided to speak up.

"Excuse me," I said softly, trying to gain her attention without being rude.

She ignored me and kept typing. I saw her eye twitch; she was purposefully pretending like I wasn't there. I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath. Bad Jessa was tickling at the back of my brain. She wanted to come out and tear into the rude woman. This was not the day for an internal brain battle.

"I'm here to see Mr. Meyers," I said a little louder.

The bitch still didn't look up at me. I was red hot and my blood was boiling. This was about to go down. The gloves were about to come off. My hands were wrapped tightly around my little resume book and I was squeezing so hard that I started bending the pages. I was imagining I was squeezing her head like that damn stress pig back at the center. I wanted to pop her tacky, overly made-up face.

"Are you Jessa?" A deep voice called from behind me.

I spun around quickly and drilled a guy standing behind me in the stomach with my elbow.

"I'm so sorry." I apologized and rubbed my hand over the spot I had hit.

He cleared his throat and watched at my hand rub him just above his belt line. My cheeks were on fire when I realized what I was doing. I am a complete ditz. I stepped away from him quickly and apologized under my breath again.

"Fantastic first impression." Bad Jessa chuckled.

"It's ok." He laughed, which lessened my embarrassment a little. "Jessa, my name is Celian Meyers. Thanks for meeting me here today with such short notice."

"No, thank you for having me," I said, trying to be polite. Was that the right way to respond? I was overthinking this way too much.

Should I curtsey? Oh no, that wasn't right either. I was shit at this.

Mr. Meyers was about six feet tall with extremely broad shoulders. He looked like he belonged in an MMA cage. If I had to guess, he might be in his early forties. His salt and pepper hair made him look distinguished and very intimidating. He definitely scared the shit out of me.

He reached out like he was going to shake my hand and I froze. Did I know how to shake hands? What if I had too soft of a grip or one that overpowered him? How did someone know if they were doing it right?

"Follow me. We can head to my office. It is a little more private back there." He pointed his hand towards the hallway and chuckled at me. He had a charismatic, perfectly straight smile. This guy was a shark.

I was doomed.

Mr. Meyers began walking towards a hallway and I scurried behind him like a little duckling. My heels were clacking against the tile floor as I tried my best to keep up. I did not want to get separated from him. He turned the corner quickly and I ran along behind him, trying not to trip over my own two feet.

He pushed open a door at the end of the hall and held it open for me. I bit my lip nervously and stepped in past him. I heard the door click shut behind me. He turned the lock and then quickly closed the blinds.

"Have a seat Jessa." He said in his deep baritone voice.

"Ok, thank you." I headed towards the chair in front of his desk.

I sat down nervously and pulled at the skirt to make sure it didn't ride up too far. I smoothed it out over my legs and crossed one back behind my ankle. I was trying to remember all the lessons my mom taught me about being a lady.

Celian walked over to stand in front of me and leaned back against his desk. He tapped the top of it with his fingers while staring down at me.

"You look nervous, Jessa." He raised his eyebrows as he began to loosen his tie and remove it. The room was a little bit stuffy. I didn't blame him for wanting to get more comfortable. I would have sat on a block of ice if there was one in the room.

"A little bit. This is my first time." I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

His body rumbled with laughter as his eyes crinkled a bit in the corners. He was absolutely terrifying.

I looked around the room, unable to maintain eye contact with him. I saw a picture on his desk with a smiling family standing next to him. He had a very pretty wife and two daughters that looked like they were about my age. I was hoping I would remind him enough of them that he would take it easy on me. I needed him to take a chance even if I knew I was a risk to his recruiting reputation.

"Well, Jessa. I am going to be honest with you. The girls I normally have come in here are way more experienced than you." He said, eyeing me.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I am wasting your time." I was trying not to cry. This was humiliating.

"You may not have the experience I usually require, but you do make quite the impression. You look like you might have an amazing set of abilities. I think I can work with this." He stood up from in front of the desk and moved closer to my chair.

"I'm a fast learner and I am willing to try anything new," Mom coached me to sell myself and that was what I was going to do.

"Stand up, Jessa," Celian offered me his hand.

"I..um..."

"Get up." He barked out in a harsh tone.

I climbed to my feet nervously and sat my notebook down on the chair.

He stepped towards me and spun me around so he had me cornered against his desk. He placed his hands on my waist and pushed me back up to sit on it. I could feel the cool wood on my ass when my skirt rode up in the back. His eyes lingered on my breasts and then they traced my curves lower to the bottom of my skirt.

No, this wasn't right.

"I think you might have the wrong idea, Mr. Meyers," I said too timidly.

My body went cold when he placed his hands on my thighs and began pushing my skirt up higher. He forced my knees apart until my skirt was up over my hips and my panties were exposed.

"Don't think so. I take what I want and right now, that's you." He stuck his hand on me and slid his index finger over my center. He pressed his fat fingers against the fabric roughly and started moving them back and forth like I was a light switch.

"Back the fuck off," I warned him as I tried to push his hand from between my thighs.

"You're fiery. I like it. You are really good at this. I can't believe you haven't done this before. I love how innocent and scared you look. This is going to be so much fun." He grabbed both of my breasts with his hands and squeezed them roughly.

"Let go," I commanded, giving him one last chance to step away.

He took my blouse in his hands and popped the buttons off, ripping it in the process. I scratched at his arms as he tried to remove it from my body.

"Take it off now and show me those perky tits." He growled.

Fuck him. He had his chance.

I closed my fist and swung with everything I had right between his eyes. He stumbled back and almost fell over the chair. He caught his balance just in time for me to jump up and drill him square in the nuts with my knee.

Celian Meyers fell to the floor, clutching his sack in his hand.

"I said no," I screamed down at him and kicked him in the stomach. He bellowed out and started coughing.

When I looked down again, instead of Celian Meyers' face, I saw Nathan lying there staring up at me. The rage bubbled inside me and I kicked out again as Nathan's twisted face laughed at me.

"Stupid slut, get on your knees. Show me how dirty you are." Nathan's voice commanded behind me.

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up, Nathan!" I screamed, kicking him again.

"Lay down and take it, Jessa. It's the only thing you will ever be good at, sweetheart." He was a monster.

"Stop." I cried as I lost my strength. I sobbed into my hands, unable to take any more.

I heard a groan on the floor and saw Celian Meyers rolling around, moaning in pain. I looked around the room, trying to find where Nathan went. He was gone. There was no sign he had ever been there in the first place.

Where did he go? He was just here. He was going to hurt me.

Celian Meyers was still the on the floor, whimpering like a baby.

My eyes widened when I realized what I just did. I took off the heels and dashed out of the room. I ran through the hallway and rushed past a few people, almost knocking them over.

When I passed the girl at the front desk, she finally looked up at me with her mouth hanging wide open. She looked bewildered at my disheveled appearance. I flipped her off as I ran out the door towards my car.

I climbed in and laid my head on the steering wheel. I began hitting  the dashboard over and over again until my hands ached. I was screaming as loud as I could and it still wasn't enough.

Nathan was there. I know he was there.

Was I losing my fucking mind?