(song: "Only For You" - Heartless Bastards)

Several months passed.

     My father kept his promise and stuck with AA. When I couldn't hide my pregnant stomach any longer, I left school to continue with independent studies. Rumors spread around school that I had dropped out and I felt fine with those rumors.

     I had no choice, but to confess to Niko that I was pregnant. After the confession he became overly protective of me. He gave me rides to and from work, and made sure that I wasn't stressed on the job.

     I talked with adoption agencies and felt like I was drowning in pamphlets and choices.

     Everything felt real when Selena and my father went with me for my first ultrasound. When my father saw the picture of the tiny life that swelled in my belly his feelings started to change. He became much more supportive in whatever decision I chose.

     I felt incredibly lucky to have the support of my father, Selena and Niko.

     "Can you deliver this hamburger and salad to table six?" The kitchen cook asked me.

     I was at work trying my best to make as much money as I could before I got to the point that I couldn't work anymore. All of the diners regulars congratulated me over being pregnant, but I could tell that whenever I walked away they were sad for me. Teen pregnancy was bittersweet.

     "Sure, but isn't that Krista's table?" I asked.

     "Krista got an emergency call about her Aunt, she had to take off. You and Niko will have to cover her tables," the kitchen said with exasperation.

     It was the weekend. The busiest time for our diner.

     I carried over the food towards the table, but the closer I got, the more I realized what I was carrying. It was a salad with oil and vinegar. Plain and simple, not a choice any of our regulars normally went for. Last person I remembered ordering a salad like that was. . .Valentina. . .

     I stood in front of table six and sure enough, Valentina was seated with one of her friends.

     Valentina's face looked furious.

     "Samantha told me that she saw you here the other day and that you dropped out of school because you were pregnant from that guy you cheated on Patrick with. I didn't think you were really pregnant, but I see it's true now. How could you do something like this to him? He was always good to you, and this is how you repay his kindness?"

     I placed down the plates slowly. At work I oddly had the ability to keep my calm. I couldn't afford to lose this job.

     "Can I get you ladies anything else?" I asked with an even tone.

     "You can get us the bill, we're not eating here," Samantha snapped.

     Valentina placed down a fifty-dollar bill onto the center of the table. She was completely over-paying for the meal. "I'm glad that Patrick got accepted into Stanford. He should be as far as humanly possible from girls like you."

     I forced myself to remain still and emotionless as the two girls exited the diner with disgust. I couldn't get upset anymore. I was pregnant, I didn't have the luxury of allowing myself to be stressed or angry. It wouldn't be good for the child.

     I pressed my hands against my stomach and rubbed it gently.

     "Don't be bitch like her, okay baby?" I whispered to my belly.

"Great job on your essay, Jenn," my teacher told me as he placed a graded paper onto my desk.

     On the advice of my student counselor I did night schooling and independent studies. Since it was my senior year anyway, I was told that as long as I kept my grades up I could graduate when everyone else from my class did.

     My classes were mostly filled with much older adults who didn't know me. I was happy to enjoy the peace and anonymity. I reached out to lift the pages closer to my face. The grade was a 97 marked in red sharpie with a smiley face and comment stating: Great Job! I hadn't felt like a good student for a long time. Things were finally changing for me.

     I tucked the paper into my shoulder bag, and forced myself up from my seat. A few of my classmates patted me on the shoulder.

     "Great work on your paper," an older woman named Emma complimented me.

     School was actually a pretty positive experience when I wasn't surrounded by hormonal, judgmental teenagers.

     "Thanks, Emma. Your essay was also pretty amazing too," I delivered back.

     I wore my hair in a messy bun and with none of my old clothes fitting me anymore, I'd taken to wearing my gym pants and oversized shirts. Working shifts at the diner during the day, school at night, plus homework. I guessed that was pretty much the new routine of my life.

     I left the school to step out into the parking-lot. I fumbled to dig around inside my shoulder bag for my keys when I felt something move inside my stomach. It was too early to feel a kick—that's what the doctor told me—but I definitely felt the baby move.

     I gently rubbed at my stomach and when I lifted my head, I saw Patrick standing there.

     I felt completely off guard. I didn't want him to see me like this at all. He looked so confused and I could see just how much pain hid behind his eyes. He kept it all down and slowly approached me. I couldn't even move.

     "Valentina told me. . ." He said simply.

     I wasn't going to deny my pregnancy anymore. "Yeah," I responded.

     "She says it's Niko's," he continued.

     I didn't agree or disagree. I just pretended that my keys were more interesting to look at than him. I knew my eyes couldn't lie to him and I didn't want him to catch on to the truth.

     I felt Patrick's fingers touch my wrist just as carefully as the first time we touched. "I thought about it over and over. That's when I talked to my sister and she admitted to me that my mother told you about Stanford and tried to convince you to not ruin my life. That made me think more closely about what you told me at New Years. You said you'd do anything to protect me and my future."

     "Patrick stop—"

     "No, you let me finish," he quickly interrupted with a raised hand. "I know you love me and would do anything for me, even if that meant letting me go. The only thing that makes this all make sense is if this baby. . .is mine."

     My mouth hung open, I wanted to tell him it was Niko's, but I couldn't. Our gazes linked and all my defenses fell. I felt my voice crack and my shoulders tremble. "I wanted you to go to Stanford, Patrick. You give up too much for the people you care about. I didn't want to be the cause of you giving up on your goals."

     Patrick released me and then he allowed himself to be upset. "I can't believe you weren't going to tell me something this big. I just can't believe that. You were really going to let this baby grow up never knowing that I was their father? How could you even think about doing something like that. How does that benefit me?"

     It wouldn't have been fair to him. "Patrick, I wasn't even sure about keeping the baby, I've been considering adoption. Selena and my dad both think it's better for me to give this baby to a family that can better support them than I could. I didn't want you to destroy your future over this."

     He shook his head repeatedly and paced the ground. My classmates dispersed from the building and the teacher closed the doors and locked them. Pretty soon things were quiet and only Patrick and myself remained.

     He had walked from between our two cars for a good ten minutes sorting through his various emotions. I just watched him, what more could I really do?

     "I thought I was doing the right thing!" I assured him in between his thoughts.

     He stopped in his tracks and without turning he asked, "So. . .are you still in-love with me?"

     "God, of course! I never stopped loving you, not even for a second," I said earnestly.

     Patrick headed over to me and wrapped his arms around me to hold on more securely than he ever had in the past. In his arms I found myself clinging onto him. I'd missed his touch so much.

     "Never ever hurt me like that again. Don't listen to anything my mother says, only listen to me, okay?" He said against my hair.

     "Patrick, I want you to go to Stanford. I can handle this—"

     "No!" He said loudly. "I have a say in this! You are so obsessed with good and bad that you make choices that you think are good for me. From now on we make choices together, and if those choices turn out to be good or bad, we deal with them, but we do it together. Whether or not we move to California together or stay here in Vegas. Whether or not we keep the baby and try to raise it together or if we find a good family for them through adoption. Whatever decision is made, it's going to be a decision that we make. And if we break up in the future or stay together for the rest of our lives, it should be a choice we mutually decide and not one doing it to protect the other."

     He was right, but we'd been both guilty of that. I kept trying to protect Patrick, and he kept trying to spare me from a complicated life. He studied less to spend more time with me, he gave up on his dreams to be closer to me. We both did what we thought would make the other person happy instead of what would make us as a unit happy.

     "Patrick, I am so sorry for all the pain I put you through. It was the only thing I could think of to get you to accept Stanford. I don't want you to make choices you think will make me happy, I want you to chase your own desires and dreams too and not just stay in Vegas because it's convenient for me."

     Patrick brushed his chin against me a few times. "Okay, so we compromise. Let's agree to not do whatever we think is best for the other person and instead talk about what we want and compromise on it. Do you remember what I said to you when you told me that I'd regret inviting you out to the carnival?"

     I smiled slyly because I'd never forget, even if decades had passed. "You said you wouldn't regret it."

     "Taking a chance and being there for the girl I love and my baby—no matter what we decide— is something I won't regret—"

     I didn't let him finish, I forcefully kissed him. My arms draped over his neck like a tangled scarf and the cosmic heat we generated was at full strength. Against his mouth with a soft murmur onto his lips I said, "God, just stop, you talk way too much."

     Patrick kissed me back with a deepness that I could feel reach into my very core. His nose nudged mine playfully a few times and we shared a smile that turned into a laugh when his hands held both sides of my belly.

     "I made this," he said like a child proud over their prize-winning science project.

     I scrunched up my nose. "Yeah, well your mom is not going to be happy about what you made."

     His eyes gleamed under the street lamps and his beautiful grin was playfully worn. "She'll deal and together we'll all figure out what's the best thing to do."

     I wanted to make him smile like that for as long as I could. My fingers played with his hair and even though I felt completely disgusting and huge, in his eyes I really still felt every bit as sexy as the day we went to the rave together.

     We stood the way we did that night and without even realizing it, our bodies were swaying to non-existent music.

     We would start over again, one last and final time.

     "I love you, Patrick Henry."

     "I love you, Jenn Graham."

     I never could have predicted the turn my life would take in the span of the year. I went from being a troublesome teen in a terrible relationship to finding that I could actually be a good student and apply myself at work. My father was four months into sobriety, my best friend conquered her fears of letting go of a "sure thing" in order to follow her heart. I learned to love another person so deeply and I'd learned to love myself.

     I no longer blamed myself for what happened to my brother and my mother.

     My life was just beginning, and whatever direction it took, I hoped it'd be towards something good.

THE END

Chapter Notes:

Thank you for reading my story all the way to the end! I may edit this story several times until I'm content with it, but for the most part the story will stay the same.