I was backstage vomiting into a filthy toilet at the rundown dive bar. It was officially my 21st birthday. As of tonight, I hadn't been home for almost two full months. I had gotten wasted last night and then again first thing this morning when I woke up. I had been going strong all day and riding my incredible high. I was untouchable, invincible even. Nothing could bring me back down.

It didn't even bother me that I should have been the one playing here tonight instead of the mediocre band Nathan brought with us. Instead of having my name in lights like Nathan promised me, I had become the dutiful piece on Nathan's arm as he hyped up the band to anyone who would stand there and listen to him. The best part was, I didn't even care what happened to me after everything that I had been through. I could fall asleep and not wake up and everything would just be fine.

"Jessa. Jessa." One of the random girls Nathan picked out of the crowd to come backstage was whining at me. She had latched on to me like a little puppy dog. "Come on, Jessa. Nate said to come sit your skinny ass on his cock."

I looked down and she was right. I was too skinny. I had lost quite a bit of weight since we left. I could see my bones sticking out in ways they didn't before. It was a little sickening to look at, to be honest. I missed the way my soft curves fell in just the perfect spots. I had never been this thin before.

"Tell him I'm busy, Becky." I called back to her.

"My name's not Becky. It's Candace." She said, annoyed.

"Like I fucking care." I laughed and leaned my head back into the toilet to finish off what I had already started.

She stormed off in a tizzy. Nate was going to rip her a new one if she came back empty-handed. I should really get up and go help her out before he takes it out on her.

I looked around the bathroom, trying to figure out exactly where I was. I wondered if I would ever find out what city we were in. It's not like it mattered. I had gotten really good about being lost. I probably should just stay that way.

I stood up and stumbled to look at myself in the mirror. My black eye was a little less puffy and I was able to finally see a little bit out of it. The fingerprints on my neck were darker and the imprint of Nate's large hands were permanently branded on my skin. No amount of makeup on my face was going to hide these marks, so I didn't even bother trying.

I stepped out of the bathroom, shakily. I used the wall to hold myself up. I should have been cold; Nathan picked out my outfit for tonight. Tiny boy shorts and a half-shirt that barely covered the bottom of my breasts completely. He said he wanted me to look like I wanted to party on my birthday. He wanted easy access to me whenever he demanded it.

I walked into the room where the band was hanging out after the show. They had finished playing about twenty minutes ago. I stood next to the stage dancing the whole time. That owner guy, Mark, had stopped me from going out into the crowd and let me watch from the wings. He kept circling me tonight, staring. Maybe his intentions weren't as innocent as I originally thought.

Josh handed me a liquor bottle as he passed me. I pressed it to my lips and gulped as much as I could. He ran his hand over my butt as I chugged it down.

"Twenty-One!!" Keith hollered over to me.

"Twenty-One!!" The rest of the guys celebrated with their drinks in the air.

"Twenty-One!!" I laughed, taking another drink.

A little of the liquor spilled out of the corner of my cheek. I wiped the stray drop away and licked my fingers so it wouldn't go to waste.

Everyone was in a fantastic mood tonight. The show was a success. We had raked in enough money to keep us going for a while longer, assuming Nate didn't go blow it all again.

I looked over at Nathan, who was sitting on the couch, smiling at me. Becky Candace was rubbing herself on him trying to hold his attention. I bit my lip and smiled. I knew if I was in the room tonight, he only had eyes for me.

"Get over here, sweetheart." He said, pushing her up and motioning to me.

I stumbled over some furniture in the shape of people and ended up on my hands and knees. I crawled over to Nathan. His eyes were almost black with desire when I got to him. He pulled me up by my chin and sat me down to straddle his lap.

"Happy Birthday." He held out a little pill and I opened my mouth so he could place it on my tongue. "You'll be feeling really good here soon."

"What did you give me?" I asked, smiling.

"E, baby. You're going to love it." He said, nuzzling into my neck.

I laid back against the couch and draped my legs over Nate. He was running his hands up and down my skin while we were backstage living the dream. He started running his fingers over my bare skin. For some reason, his fingers touching me felt better than ever. I think the pill was starting to kick in.

"That feels so good, Nate." I moaned and I arched my back up. I ran my hands down my body.

"That's really good, Jessa. You're going to get your surprise soon." He ran his tongue over his teeth as he watched me.

"I want it so bad." I whispered, touching his lips with my fingers.

"Yeah, we know." Keith laughed, taking another drink. He had Becky Candace sitting on his lap. She was quickly making her way around the room.

I climbed on top of Nate and began rubbing myself over him. I was seeing fluffy bunny rabbits running across colorful fields. I wanted to touch the bunnies. They would be so soft in my hands. I would kiss them and hop next to them with delight. I ran my tongue over the side of Nate's face. It was a little scratchy and felt like sandpaper tickling my taste buds. He grabbed my hips and pushed into me. It felt amazing as I rocked back and forth over him. I closed my eyes and just floated away.

Nathan wasn't even inside of me yet and I was about to combust on top of him. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed all the new sensations my body was feeling. It was like there were little pop rocks between my thighs going off with every stroke over him. This was the best birthday ever.

Happy Birthday to me.

"Take another one, Jessa. I want to make sure you are good and ready for your surprise." Nate said.

I opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out. He placed another one in and I swallowed. This stuff was awesome. I wondered why he never gave it to me before.

"Good, Jessa. Do you want it now, sweetheart?" He asked as I was losing control of my body. My head was swimming and I felt like I was submerged underwater.

"Yes, give it to me." I whined with my vision darkening around me.

I felt large, powerful hands grip me under my armpits to pull me off Nate's lap.

Was this a part of my surprise?