About three hours later, I found myself standing outside of a dingy apartment complex. I wasn't quite sure how I even got here. At some point, while I was fleeing through the woods, I lost everything, which included the memory of what I did between running from Cam and finding my way to this hell hole.

I rang the buzzer and rubbed my bare arms looking for the warmth that I lost the second Cam turned his nose up at me. Who was I kidding to think I was ever good enough for him? He stood on a pedestal towering high above the rest while I belonged in the sewers with the other pitiful creatures who resided there.

The bottoms of my feet were throbbing from the beating they took from the unforgiving cold winter ground. I was leaving a trail of small blood spots from the twigs and thorns that pierced my skin as I ran barefoot through the woods. It hurt to walk.

The lace portion of my shirt was torn and barely hanging on to my shoulder; I could only assume I caught it on a branch as I ran. I didn't even recall what I really did to ruin the poor shirt, but whatever happened to it, there was no way I could fix it. It was just another poor victim of my deranged lunacy.

My breath was becoming increasingly less visible in the cold night air. I needed to get inside where it was warmer fast. I was going to freeze to death if I stayed out here much longer.

Without even knowing where I was headed, I ended up at this wretched place. It was right where I belonged. This was the only place where I could be somebody who mattered. Even if it wasn't the person that I wanted to be.

"Who the fuck is it?" Nate screamed through the intercom.

"It's Jess. Let me in." My voice trembled uncontrollably from the cold.

The door clicked and I pulled it open quickly. I was relieved to get into the warmth of the hallway and out of the frigid air. I looked back into the window at my reflection and fluffed my hair. I tried to straighten my clothes over my body, but it didn't work. I looked like the Bride of Frankenstein. Hopefully, Nate would take one look at my wild, jungle girl appearance and decide to take it easy on me tonight.

The hallway was dim; most of the lights were burnt out. The thick musty air reeked of marijuana; I could see the clouds in the air hovering above my head. I almost gagged from the thickness of it as the stench lingered in my nostrils. I stomped back towards the music blaring in the back of the building. Nathan always played his music so damn loud. I don't know how he hadn't been kicked out of the building yet.

I knocked on the door and heard Nathan holler. "It's open."

I pushed the door open and was hit in the face with the screaming music swirling over a thumping rhythm. Nate had to have been entertaining again tonight.

I saw the redheaded girl from the video kneeling in front of Nathan again, bobbing her head up and down over him. Didn't this girl have anything better to do than just hang around with her head between his legs?

"That's it. You're a nasty whore." He wrapped his hand in her stringy hair and looked up, locking his dark eyes on mine. He smiled, wanting me to look down to see her taking him in and out of her mouth. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

Keith and a few other guys I didn't know were laughing. I wondered if this girl even knew what she was getting herself into. It was kind of sad watching her knowing what would have happened if I didn't walk in when I did. She could have been the type of girl, like me, who was dumb enough not to care, but the boys would never get the chance to find out. Now that I was here, Nate would have no need for her. He knew crazy Jessa was always up for something new. He wouldn't waste his time trying to convince her to do things if he knew I was already ready to go.

When I glanced around the room, the guys I hadn't met yet were passing around something in a pipe. Keith took the pipe and pressed it to his lips and lit it. He took a big hit and shook out his body while he held it in. He let out his breath and began coughing violently. I would never understand why people chose this as their preferred method of getting high.

I walked over to the radio and killed the volume. The apartment was dead silent except for the annoying slurping noises coming from the redhead's mouth. No wonder Nathan turned on the radio; she was obnoxiously loud.

"Hey, Jess. Want to come sit on my lap and watch?" Keith smiled at me wickedly when he saw me standing by the muted radio.

"You know I don't watch." I said. I turned my head and raised my eyebrow at him like I was insulted.

"Man, I love this girl." Keith said, lighting the pipe again to take another hit.

"Get her out." I turned my frustrated anger back to Nate and growled at the girl.

"Give us a second. I'm about to finish, sweetheart." Nathan grabbed the back of her head with both of his hands and pushed it down to make her deep throat him. I heard her gagging as he pushed in deeper. He was trying to suffocate the girl with his dick.

"I said, get the fuck out." I screamed, which made everyone stop and turn to look at me. I had command of the room.

"You heard her." Nate said, amused.

Nathan looked at me curiously and then pushed the girl away from him. He tucked himself back in his pants and zipped them back up slowly. The dejected girl was sitting on the ground in disbelief looking up at him.

"Go." Nathan motioned to her.

She sat there, frozen in place. Her eyes flickered in my direction. She gave me a hate-filled stare as she looked up at me.

I had just saved this girl from a night of torture and she had no fucking clue. From the look on her face, I didn't expect to be getting a thank you card in the mail anytime soon. Her claws were out; she looked like a bitch in heat. I wasn't scared. I dared her to come at me with my eyes. I was ready for a good fight.

"Get your skanky ass out of my apartment." Nate said, throwing her clothes at the back of her head. He moved his leg like he was about to kick her and she recoiled. She went from a vicious tiger to a skittish field mouse in a flash. Nate was drinking in her fear. He was an absolute barbarian.

The girl started crying and grabbed her things off the floor. She ran out without looking back. I had a feeling this would be the last time that girl ever showed her face around here.

"What do you want? The last time we talked, you said you were done." He asked, looking my body up and down.

"I want back in, Nate. I want out of here. I want whatever you will give me." I said, my voice was unwavering.

I glanced around the room quickly for something quick to take the edge off. Fuck sobriety and fuck sanity. Neither one of them had ever done anything for me other than cause me heartbreak and pain.

"So you think I'll just let you come back?" Nathan said, mocking me.

"You will. I'm not leaving." I said, digging my heels in.

"Jess, you have a lot of apologizing to do. I don't think you will be able to handle it this time." His eyes were twinkling with excitement as he stepped closer.

"You know I can handle it." I said, raising my eyebrows confidently stepping back up to him.

"Show me." He said, running his hand over himself.

This would be easy; it wasn't anything I hadn't done before.

I went to go down to my knees in front of him and started to pull his zipper down. He shook his head at me and I stopped mid-motion. He grabbed my hands and brought me to my feet. Nathan stood there, staring down at me. He laughed right in my face.

"Not like that, Jessa. I don't want your mouth. Go over there and bend over." He pointed to an empty recliner in the corner of the room.

I walked over to the chair with my head held high. I laid my hands on the armrests to hold myself up and jutted my hips out towards him. I rolled my eyes. If this was how I had to apologize to him, it was even lamer than the blow job. He let his friends watch when he fucked me all the time. Sex in public was one of Nathan's little vices. He thought he was a gift that needed to be shared with the whole world. It wasn't even about me when he did it; it was all about him proving he was a dominant male. He was an egotistical maniac.

Nathan came up behind me and raised my skirt over my hips. He pulled my stockings and panties down to my knees.

He ran his hand up and down me roughly.

"What do you think? How should she show she's sorry?"

Oh, shit.