I pulled up to the studio about fifteen minutes later. Keith was leaning against the door with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He smiled when he saw me.

           "How's my favorite little performer?" He said, looking me up and down. I had showered and changed into some ripped jeans that hung low on my hips. They were more rips than fabric. I had decided I needed to get Nathan's attention again so I wouldn't lose my contract. I put on a halter top lacey bra under a mesh half-shirt. I looked like a prostitute and felt like one too. I would give Nathan my body again today as many times as I could. In exchange, he would give me my contract back and I would be one step closer to escaping the suburbs of Ohio.

           "Where's Nathan?" I asked, chewing my lip nervously. The last time I saw Keith, he was standing over me laughing when one of the punk kid band members decided my hands tied behind my back wasn't good enough. I cringed thinking about the things I let them do to me that night.

            "He's in his office." Keith snickered at me.

             I nodded and walked past him without saying another word. I had to get to Nathan and convince him to keep me around.

             Nathan was sitting on the couch in his office with his eyes closed. His black t-shirt was cut tight enough to show off his perfectly sculpted body. His tattoo sleeves looked radiant in the dim lighting. Even before he started working out and tatted every inch of his body, Nathan had always been hot. Every girl always swooned anytime he gave them a little attention. If they really knew who he was, they would have all ran far away without looking back.

           I started to think back to the friendship that Nate, Cam, and I had as I watched him take his nap. The three of us used to do everything together. Life was so much easier back then when the boys got along. That all started falling apart the night Nathan got me drunk and slept with me for the first time. Cam never forgave him after that night for some reason.

Cam continued to hang out with us for a while until he found out the things Nathan was having me do for him. I shuddered thinking about the last night we all hung out together. That was the night Nathan convinced me to get on my knees in front of a room full of his friends. Cam walked into the room, not knowing what was happening.

              "Nash, get in here." Nate called to him, laughing.

               I looked back to the doorway to find my best friend standing there with his gray eyes frozen on my face. I was on my knees in just my bra and jeans with Nathan in my mouth.

              Cameron's eyes went wide when he looked around the room. There were four other guys hanging out with us. Nate had convinced them to come smoke with him and then decided he wanted some Jessa time too.

              "What's wrong, Nash? You know she is a slut. Get your ass in here and get some before you die a virgin." Laughs circled around the room at my expense. I shrunk down, embarrassed, but I still kept moving over Nathan. He would yell at me if I stopped now. I was spinning weightlessly in the galaxy and Nathan screaming in my face would ruin the high I was getting from having all the eyes in the room on me. I craved attention even when it was the wrong kind. I always needed more.

            "Oh shit. Get ready to swallow it, Jess." Nate said, pushing my head tight against him, trying to choke me. Nate finished in my mouth and held himself in so I didn't have any other option but to swallow it down.

             "How did it taste, Jess?" Nathan asked, running his hands through my hair.

             "It was so good." I said, batting my eyelashes at him.

             "Cameron, you're next." Nathan said, wiping the corner of my mouth.

               I smiled, looking up into Nate's dark eyes.

              My mind was racing, Nate had given me some pills to try and my body was on fire. I wanted to touch anyone and everything. I wanted them to touch me. This was a new feeling and I loved it. I was desperate for my release. I was hoping Nathan would give it to me if I kept doing what he wanted me to do. I felt powerful; I felt alive.

             "Don't just stand there, dude. She's begging for it." Nate laughed.

              Cameron walked across the room to where I was kneeling.

             "Go on, Nash, she wants more." Nathan laughed, patting Cameron's back. He pulled Cameron over in front of me and sat back down on the couch to go take a hit from his bong.

              Cam's breathing was erratic as he looked down at me. I bit my lip and reached up to unzip his pants. He cupped his hand over my cheek and pulled my chin up to look at him. He stared down at me with his gentle gray eyes.

              "Tell me what you want. I'll do anything." I smiled up at him as I reached my hand in his pants.

               "Jess, you don't have to do this." He said, stroking my hair. I could feel how hard he was as I wrapped my hand around him.

               "I'll make sure you like it, Cami." I whispered up to him.

               "Get up. Let's go." Cameron said, pulling my hand from inside his zipper. He reached down and pulled me to my feet.

               "Don't be a pussy." Nate laughed between his pot induced coughing fit.

               "Jess, darling. Let's get out of here." Cameron grabbed my shirt off the floor and pulled it over my head. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and began to walk me out of the room.

               "We were just having a little fun, right, Jess?" Nate and his friends laughed behind us as we started walking out the door.

                Cameron spun on his heels and went to go straight for Nate. I had to hold him back. I was afraid Cameron would get hurt. Nate was a fighter. He loved to watch other people suffer.

              "Nate, you know what you are doing is wrong. This isn't a game. If you cared about her, you wouldn't do this to her. You know what she is going through." Cam was a ball of anger, ready to swing.

              "I'm ok, Cami. It feels good." I held onto him tightly, fighting to hold him back.

              "See, Nash, she likes it. Come back and stay for the show." Nathan laughed. "Hey Jess, sweetheart, get naked and lay on the bed so we can see what we can fit inside of you."

              "You're sick, Nathan. She deserves better than you." Cam spat at him.

                His words knocked me back into myself for a brief second. Did Cam really think I was worthy of more? I didn't think I was.

               "Aww, Nash. Are you jealous? You know you can't turn a hoe into a housewife." Nate smirked back at him.

              "Cami, can we just go?" I asked sweetly, trying to get him to leave before he got pulverized by Nathan's gigantic fists.

               "Let's go, darling. You shouldn't be here." Cam wrapped his arm around me and pulled me out the door.

              I had cried in the bathroom that night to Cam. He spent the rest of the night taking care of me. I lied to Cameron and told him I was done with Nathan. I was never going to be done with him. Nathan gave me the pills, Nathan gave me the liquor, and Nathan gave me the rush I needed most when I was having an episode. In the end, no matter how hard I tried to stay away, I always went back to Nathan.

              It got even worse when Nathan's dad left him his recording studio. Nathan was music royalty around here, which meant I needed him more than ever. Cameron once asked me why I never took my Dad up on his offer to get me signed through his studio's label. I always told him it was because I wanted to do it on my own and didn't want anyone to think I made it because of who my Dad was. The truth was, I never felt like I was good enough to record there.

              I sighed as I watched Nate's chest rise and fall in his sleep. I took a deep breath and readied myself for what I had to do next. It was time to get my control back.

              "Hey Nate, I'm here."