start song; gloria by the lumineers

*

They're hours away from the disaster that is Dema, hidden away in a house that's been abandoned days away from people. From anybody.

before Josh can process much of anything, he's gazing into Tyler's eyes and asking him to be with him. The ring his mom had left him is slid onto Tyler's finger, it doesn't mean marriage, it's too soon but it's a promise of foreverness and they both need hope right now. and there's teasing, of course there is before-

They kiss. They'd only share small pecks to the forehead or their cheeks before this moment.

So finally, finally Josh's hand is cupping his jaw and Tyler is gripping his jacket and pulling him closer, closer, closer and making him smile against his  lips. "Yeah."

He says. "I like you so much."

"Just like?" Tyler says against his mouth, nose against his.

He goes to speak but settles for just kissing him again, harder than before. Tyler doesn't stumble and just presses into him and gives as good as he does, kissing him, touching him.

One of his hands falls to behind his neck. "More than like." He laughs, Tyler smiles at him sweetly and then presses his lips to his cheek, and then his jaw before kissing him properly again and letting his hands wander into the brown mess that is Josh's hair.

Still cupping Tyler's jaw, Josh goes to deepen the kiss, bottom lip to top lip, tongue sliding into his mouth but Tyler's already doing it before the thought is passing through his mind.

Tyler leads the kiss easily and before Josh knows it, he's stepping closer to him and he's forced to take a step back to keep his balance. He takes a few steps back and Tyler follows the movement.

Josh's  hands grips his waist and Tyler's hands go to his pecks and then his ribs and lower and he can't help the stupid noise that comes out his mouth when He bites at his lip gently before pulling back just enough so their eyes could meet.

"Everything you've been dreaming of?" He asks softly, one of his fingers tracing the zipper of his jacket, gently starting to pull it down.

"Mhm," He tilts his head and moves them backwards until the peeling walls of the house are just a step behind him. "Yeah," He says, touching along his neck. "Perfect. We're perfect together." He mumbles, distractedly.

"I like the ring." Tyler zips down his jacket completely then, leaving his chest exposed. His eyes wander across his body and he wonders if he's only just now started to notice the way he looks.

"I-," He says, eyes widening a fracture as he then presses him against the wall with his entire body. "Um good." He breathes out as a soft kiss is pressed to his jaw. "I wasn't sure if it was..." He breathes out deeply when Tyler nips at his skin. "Something you'd like."

"Thought you knew everything about me?" Tyler mumbles. He's strong and Josh melts against him, he can't imagine trying to switch their positions. He's not proud of it, the way he curves into his touch. He hasn't been touched in almost a year, saving himself for Tyler, for the moment he would finally decide maybe he was the one that Tyler wanted after they left Dema together. After weeks and weeks of planning.

Tyler didn't need to know that though. He couldn't let him know how pathetic he had become from the moment he had met him. From the moment he had seen him being escorted around by the bishops like a pawn that they'd lost.

They kiss and kiss and kiss. Hands pushing clothes out of the way, or specifically Tyler undressing him as they go, his hands pull his jacket off and then press against his chest and down his stomach to the belt of his pants but he doesn't do much more than that. Tyler lets him take off his jacket and that about it, he's afraid just a bit to mess up. Make this end.

His usual confidence with men, people,  not that there's been many is faltering as Josh gently touches along his back, then his ribs and then along the line under his shirt where his makeshift binder lays.

He's panting gently by the time Tyler's hands are wandering to his pants. His hips first and then his thighs and..

"Please," Josh says without thinking of it when his fingers are hooking around the leather of his belt as he starts to unbuckle it. hands freeze on top of his.

Eyes meet his. "Patience." Tyler softly pushes his hands away. "Do you have any?"

"Oh come on." He rests his hands on his hips instead, digs his fingers into the skin there,  he pulls him closer and watches Tyler try not to react. His cheeks are pink. "I need you. I want to..."

Tyler shakes his head and shushes him with a kiss and pulls back from him gently.

Josh's hands rub up and down his body, grip his ass, he almost feels like he should be asking for permission every time he moves his hands. "You have dirt on your cheek, blood on your forehead." He whispers, eyes studying him. "We're disgusting."

His pants are stupidly tight. "Yeah," He coughs. "You're right."

"Exactly." Tyler leans against him once more, head to his shoulder, breath against the side of his neck. "Later, I promise it'll be good. We're not in a rush are we." He says with a raised eyebrow and Tyler pulls away from his chest. "You can fuck me whenever. There's no time limit."

Josh's mouth opens, to speak. To say anything.

"We need to shower." Tyler tells him seriously as he readjusts his clothing. Josh's eyes follow the movement before looking up the meet his.

"Well," He grins. Words on the tip of his tongue.

"Please don't say something cheesy."

He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. "I didn't say a thing."

"Well there's not going to be any showers out here anyways." Tyler reminds him. "We'll have find a lake or something."

*

Clean, refreshed, they're on auto pilot now. Walking through forests and fields and it's perfect. Thick full bags wrap around their torsos. Tyler carries a tent and food. Josh carries the water, cooking materials, first aid kit. Anything they could need, he has on his person. Together they have all they could need to survive.

It had taken them months to organize their escape together. Months of gathering supplies and hiding it under beds and in cabinets and anywhere the bishops wouldn't check. Stealth, they had it, or had learnt it over time. Most of the things they have were stolen, things they were never supposed to find. The tent had been a lucky find especially, it's decades old, they'd found it in storage in one of the districts, in a restricted area.

They don't know where they're going yet but anywhere but the city seemed like a good start when they'd made the decision to leave and never come back, untraceable, gone. Josh had, had difficulties. More brainwashed than Tyler by far but eventually after weeks, months, of coaxing and flirting and touching and smiles and so many plans and lists. He was leading them out with Tyler's hand wrapped around his like a vice.

The first few days of walking were rough. But now, far away, days away from Dema; They are safe which is why they end up making out, a lot, for absurd amount of times. They're happy. Josh has never been happy like this.

They'll stop against some rocks or a tree and Tyler will press him up against the surfaces, fingers digging into Josh's hips and pulling at his belt loops. His tongue wet, pressing into his neck, his finger gripping his ass.

It feels like a game and Josh is pretty sure he's losing when Tyler almost makes him come in his pants every single time they kiss.

"Fuck." He breathes out. Today, he pulls away at the last second and tries to take over, twisting them around, they're panting, Tyler struggles against him, still kissing him, viciously, there's biting and sucking and he's still grinding his knee between Josh's legs even with the switch of placement.

Josh pins him there, bark pressing into his jacket. "God-you," He huffs, pushing his shoulders into the tree. "Fuck you man."

"Fuck me," Tyler stares at him, owlish when he says it. Then laughs, wiggling back against the bark of the tree like he enjoys it.

"And i'm god?" Tyler presses his lips to Josh's, licks the bottom one. "Is that true? I'm holy?" His hand moves down and grips Josh's cock through his pants.

Josh is panting, he pins Tyler's hand to the tree. He presses his thigh between Tyler's legs, mimicking him. "Evil."

"Sure." Tyler grabs him by the neck and then they're kissing again, his tongue is in Josh's mouth, he's being balanced on top of Josh's knee and suddenly he has the upper hand and has manoeuvred them back to how they were. He shoves them around, he shoves Josh around like he's a rag doll.

Josh is blinks at him. "Fuck off."

Tyler has him pinned now, his arm across his chest. Like they've been fighting. Like he wants to choke him. "Let's go."

And he lets him go, just laughs and starts gathering his respective stuff to carry. They have hours until they can set up their tent and relax. It's going to feel like days.

Josh stays against the tree panting, presses his hands to his eyes. He's so tired. Tyler is still smiling at him.

Tyler starts the kisses most of the time, initiates everything, always with a touch and then he leans in and somewhere along the way it becomes aggressive. Not out of hatred, no there's love there, and sweet moments and kisses and touches but Tyler riles Josh up and Josh riles him up. It's push and pull all the time.

When Tyler kisses him first Josh always gives in, he's hard in seconds and begging in minutes. When Josh kisses him first, sometimes Tyler will give into it and other times he'll tease Josh until he has to ask for a kiss. And sometimes he'll just ignore him and tell him to they don't have time, they'll get distracted, they have a lot of ground to cover.

*

During the days where they need a break they end up by the water a lot. They stumble across rivers and sometimes they can see what could be a shoreline, they never dare to go that far though. But when they find lakes, they'll settle their things down and spend the day there. Relaxed, buzzing with energy.

Today the lake they find is big, shapely, surrounded by forest and nothing else. They walk around it looking for an appropriate place to sit down and finally are met with a spot where the grass migrates into the water. Like a small beach.

The sky is clear, the water is freezing.

Tyler is smiling. Joyful. "Man," He says, pulling his shoes off. "We should go swimming."

"We don't know how to swim." Josh settles his bag down onto the dirt and leans it against a tree.

An eyebrow is raised at him. "We can learn."

They don't learn to swim. The shallow end is long enough that they can just walk around the water and attempt to float. Tyler keeps a tank top on the entire time, Josh gets it. He does.

They play around for awhile, Tyler jumps on his back, Josh drops him in the water. It's nice, being somewhere new. They splash each-other and kiss each-other and then clean themselves as much as they can.

Tyler is scrubbing himself with the water when he says. "Soap is shit for the lake I'm pretty sure." He doesn't stop. The water sticks to him like glue.

Josh tilts his head at him, he's sitting in the shallow end, toes digging into the sand. "We have those bowls? we can soap ourselves up outside of the water and pour them on ourselves to wash off the soap?"

He lights up. "Genius."

Josh's heart swells.

They get out and don't dry themselves off before Josh is soaping up his hands and touching them to Tyler's shoulders. Tyler smiles. "Wash me?" He pulls his wet shirt above his head in one fluid motion. Josh stares, Tyler stares back and starts to unwind the binding material he has against his chest. Josh doesn't know what it's made from but it's tight and Tyler is careful as he sets it down on top of the rest of clothes.

"Oh," Josh says, averting his eyes a bit. "You're fine with me..."

"Yes."

Josh looks at him. Tyler's cheeks are pink.

His chest is small, Josh wants to kiss him everywhere. Instead, he nods, he approaches him and then calmly places his soapy hands on his neck, his shoulders. Tyler shuts his eyes and sighs, leaning his forehead against Josh's shoulder as he washes him down. Tyler is soft and has some chest hair and Josh massages his fingers through it, he grazes over his tits gently, touches his ribs even more gently. He's careful, this isn't the Tyler that presses him up against trees. This is the Tyler that is vulnerable and needs to be held.

"Turn around for me?" He asks softly, whispering into his ear.

Tyler looks at him softly and drifts around so his back is to Josh. He repeats the process to his back, poring water for the bowl once he had passed soap over his skin. It's tedious going back and forth from the lake to him even if it's just a step away. But Tyler is patient and when he's clean he slips just his shirt back on and does Josh.

He takes his time just like Josh had, pressing the bar of soap to his skin, rubbing it in, massaging him. Josh leans into every touch, into the kisses he places against his neck as he cleans him off. When he's done, water from the bowl dripping off of him. They run back into the lake, laughing, smiling, fingers intertwined.

*

They first time they have sex, is consequently at the same lake. But on the opposite side of it. After hours of walking. They're taking another break, they're exhausted.

Shirtless, stretched out, Josh is half asleep as he lays there on a sandy part of the tiny beach they had found. The sun kisses his skin and he has an arm draped over his eyes to keep the sun out. He had made a spot beside him for Tyler, but Tyler's been writing furiously in a journal for the past hour and had just ignored him.

When they're taking a break on travelling, he spends his day infuriating Josh, sleeping, goofing off or writing in his journal. He's never bothered to ask what he's writing about, Josh knows it has to be personal though. Something important to him. It's not his business, really. So he doesn't ask. He knows it has to be about dema though, there's no question. The way he tears up sometimes as his pen runs out of ink is heart breaking.

He hears Tyler to his left moving around. It's distracting but not enough to make him open his eyes. He hears him sigh, hears the shuffle of fabric, taking off his sweater, putting something away in one of their backpacks, he doesn't know. He keeps his eyes shut and then he feels him, a hand is on his shoulder, strongly squeezing him.

"Hm?" He grumbles and yawns a bit before opening his eyes to look at Tyler properly. He's holding a drink in his hand, water. His hoodie is gone, and his cheeks have a tint on them. Sunburn maybe.

"Hm." Tyler repeats and pushes his fingers into his hair. "How're you feeling?" And he moves to kneel beside him, is free hand sliding down Josh's shoulder to touch at his bicep as he lowers himself to the ground beside him.

"Suddenly very awake." He smiles lazily and Tyler rolls his eyes and places his water on the ground beside them.

"I was thinking." He starts, tilting his head at him as he grazes his hand up and down Josh's arm. "We should-"

"Yes." He says immediately, straightening up a bit so he's sitting up properly.

He laughs and raises an eyebrow. "God," He presses a hand to his forehead. "maybe we should wait longer." Tyler grips his bicep loosely and stands back up. "I was going to say head out. It's nice here but," He bites his lip, worried. "It's giving me anxiety.

Josh  looks up at him properly then, let's his hands touch at his waist, his fingers slide underneath the fabric of his shirt to curl around his hips. "If you want, whatever you want to do i'm on board." He says, tracing along his skin with one of his fingers. He meets his eyes. "You're right though. We've gotta keep going."

"Yeah" He looks at him. "I'm not the only one with a say in things. Talk to me about what you want to do. We're a team."

"I will." He says and manoeuvres him into his lap with a quick pull at his arm and a grip on his hips. "Promise."

"Josh," He sighs, annoyed as he settles on top of him messily, almost falling off of him from the momentum of the movement but he catches Tyler easily. Keeping him in place. "We're a team." Josh repeats.

"I have a say in us too, don't i?" He asks, resting his hands on Tyler's hips, moving them up and down from his waist to his thighs. His lips hover over his and he can feel him smile against them. They share a chaste kiss that lasts barely a second before Tyler sits down on his lap properly and he lets out a tiny noise of surprise.

"Funny." Tyler pushes at his chest until he reluctantly lies down so he's on his back and he's  hovering above him, hands splayed out on his chest, nails dragging across his nipples. "Not really." He murmurs as he's looking down at him and Josh finds himself really liking being underneath him like this. "I like to think my say is like 80% and yours is 20."

Everything happens quickly after that, he pulls off Tyler's shirt. Josh's shorts are shucked down before he knows it, Tyler hooking his fingers around the waist band as they kiss, his tongue inside of his mouth, Josh's hands on his ass. Tyler is shoving the shorts down and elevating himself to give him room to slide out of them. They're kicked somewhere in the sand, it doesn't matter.

Tyler is staring down between them at his cock, hard, leaking against his stomach. "God," Tyler murmurs, curiously letting his finger follow one of the veins that leads to his balls. Josh trembles. "I want you in my mouth," He says, staring him in the eye.

Josh's eyes widen and then his cock is trapped between them and Tyler ignores its existence and climbs back up his body, pinning him by his wrists and kissing him hard. He presses down against, a pressure that does nothing to relieve him. "Could you....?" He starts, pausing for a second, faltering.

"Man-" Josh tilts his head back as Tyler nips at his jaw and then his hand works it's way around his cock without a word. a little oh noise comes out of Josh's mouth before he can stop it.

Tyler gives him minimal attention though, stroking him gently like he's never done this before. The lack of pressure is infuriating but he thinks that's how Tyler wants it to be. A challenge.

"C'mon, please do it properly." He jerks his hips up into his grip.

"Not good enough for you?" Tyler increases the pressure around his dick a bit but now he's  moving his hand so slowly he might die.  He makes eye contact with him. "What's properly?" He murmurs against his neck and Josh groans quietly. He'll kill him.  "Want me to squeeze you a bit? Make you come all over my hand? Maybe go a bit faster? What is it Josh?"

Josh bares his neck. "All of the- ah-above."

It escalates quickly after that. Tyler's breath against his ear, Tyler's hand on his cock, Tyler squirming against him. Riding his thigh as Josh fucks into his fist. It's better now, they pant against each other and to prevent himself coming he pulls Tyler's hand off of him.

"Josh." Tyler looks at him.

"Tyler." He says back.

Tyler's pants are shoved down next, his boxers and Josh is immediately pulling him up onto his chest. "Come here," He tells him, desperate, his hands on his thighs, the hair there soft. "Come here Tyler."

He's wet and Tyler's mouth open a bit, maybe an explanation, Josh doesn't know but Josh doesn't care and taps behind his thighs and pulls him forward until Tyler's hovering over his neck, nearly above his face. "Tyler," He says, he leans forward to kiss his thigh. "Let me, please."

Tyler squirms, his hand touch his hair. "Josh I-"

and Josh grips him by the ass and gets close enough to press his tongue inside of him, easily. He's only done this once and this is far better than the first time.

Tyler makes a noise, lots of noises , and Josh laps his tongue around his clit, slow circles, focused, around and around and then right over it. And Tyler is gasping above him, burying his fingers in his hair. He traces his labia.

"Josh, holy shit, ah. You- fuck you." He babbles brokenly and Josh sucks on his clit and grips tightly onto his thighs and lets Tyler ride it out. And Tyler does, he's sensitive, making so much noise and the fingers he has curled into Josh's hair are pulling so hard Josh is almost worried.

Tyler's trembles beneath his hands and his hips work themselves in little circles, following the movement of Josh's tongue and when he comes, he leans forward and nearly falls off of Josh's face.

"Oh fuck." He pants out when he comes. Which is then followed by Josh's name, said exclusively under his breath before then slowly readjusting and moving himself off of his face and down Josh's body so he can kiss him lazily. He drapes himself across him like a blanket.

His leg ends between Josh's, he nudges at his balls with his thighs, Josh makes a weak stupid noise and Tyler meets his gaze and widens his eyes.

"Right," He says and sits up, spits on his hand and then wraps it around Josh's cock. Tyler grins. "Can't forget about you. Not when you make me come that hard."

Josh falters his objection. He doesn't need this. But he wants it. He's desperate. And the way Tyler's looking at him makes him want to cry.

Tyler jerks him off properly now, finally at a speed that makes him dig his heels into the ground. His lips press against his neck, his teeth nip at the same skin over and Josh is so weak for this man. Tyler slows his hand down and Josh almost whines at the loss of his hand leaving him completely.

"Shut up," Tyler whispers and sits up onto his knees before shuffling over to his cock, leaking, close to an orgasm. "I haven't done this in a while." Tyler mumbles, moving back, gripping Josh's cock, his hand jerking him off gently.

"You don't have to." Josh gulps weakly and shifts his hips, thrusting against Tyler's thigh. Anything would be good at this point.

"I-" Tyler straddles him properly and sinks down, Josh slides inside of him. They both groan. "I want to."

He rides him slowly at first, overwhelmed, cheeks pink, chest pink, his movements are stilted and unsure and he's gripping Josh's shoulders so tightly it hurts. "It's," Tyler breathes out, tilting his head upwards. "So much," He huffs our and Josh squeezes his eyes shut.

"Mhm," Josh moans quietly and tries not to move too much. "Yeah, it's.- Perfect," He gets out and thrusts up into it and Tyler groans out and grips him tighter.

Tyler gets more comfortable and then he's taking whatever he wants, fucking himself on his dick, trying to get himself off.

He lasts an embarrassingly short amount of time but it doesn't matter, Tyler orgasms for a second time and lifts off of Josh moments before he himself is coming all over their stomachs.

They laugh.

*

They make dinner together most nights. They only have so much food left. They try spear fishing in the shallow ends of rivers and lakes, Tyler has more success than Josh. He's good at it, eyes narrowing on the fish as they slip around the pocket knife they'd strung to a heavy walking stick.

He scavenges instead, looks for mushrooms and berries and little things. It's not easy. They do have food in their bag but, when they settle, somewhere safe, they want to be able to grow a garden so they need to keep some of their produce until then.

By the time they're far away from the lake and following a river that branches off from it for what feels like hundreds of miles. It's sunset, days later. They set up a fire to cook.

Tyler doesn't mind catching the food, but he hates cooking so Josh ends up doing most if not all of it. They have rice left so he starts with that, putting it in one of the fire safe pots they had stolen from dema. And then he cooks the fish next, roasting it on a stick.

Tyler is distracting, of course. He's always touching him now, pulling his hair, kissing the nape of his neck, groping him as he cooks. It's terrible. It's amazing. Josh isn't sure he can live this way.

He's addicting to be around. The way he looks at Josh, the way he talks to him, Josh is unable to leave him. Unable to not meet his gaze.

Tonight Tyler's distracted him more than he thought he had. He's finally got the upper hand though, pressing him against the grass, one of his knees is rubbing against his crotch and Tyler's hands are on his ass pulling him against him until all he can feel is Tyler. Tyler. Tyler.

"Check on the food Josh," Typer murmurs in between kisses, making no effort to stop touching him, groping his ass. He's been doing it a lot lately and Josh wants him to do more.

He presses his tongue further into Tyler's mouth as a response and pinches his sides teasingly before pulling away. "It's fine. The fish isn't burnt." He looks over to the fire. "Actually," He steps away  from him reluctantly and gets up. Tyler's hands fall away from his body and stray to his lap. "Yeah it sort of is." And removes it off of the heat.

He just laughs. "It's definitely your fault." They eat it anyways.

They fuck after dinner, naturally.

They stumble around the forest tonight until they end up pressed up against a tree, one that can hold them or maybe on the ground. They have a tent but, there's something about being outside that makes Josh feel alive. Makes Tyler feel alive. There's no restraint.

Freedom.

Tyler pushes him first, whispers in his ear and then it's a tug of war until they're undressed and a struggle for power until one of them surrenders, it's usually Josh. Tyler likes to be on top but sometimes he doesn't want to do all the work and will let Josh take charge and he's more than okay with that.

Tonight they stay upright, Tyler's thighs wrapped around Josh's waist, his back pressed into the bark of a big tree, Josh's cock inside of him, deep inside of him. Faint profanities escape his lips as Josh fucks him into the bark of the tree.

"C'mon, come on, come on," Tyler's eyes are shut, his head is titled back, neck bared for Josh's teeth. His fingers are between them working over his clit.

They groan and kiss and touch and Josh holds him as he comes.

His back has scratches all the way down it, but now he just matches Josh.

In the morning they realize it's much than what Tyler's nails have managed to do to Josh.

Josh cleans up his back for him though. "Stupid." He mutters, pressing a wet t-shirt against the semi-deep cuts that litter his back. "Should have said something."

Tyler leans his head back, looking at him upside down. "Shut up." He yawns, eyes sparkling. "I liked it. I would do it again."

*

They cover decent ground during the next few days. It's long and tiring and they're hungry and just want to stop running from the past and start living their lives.

The forest becomes more dense before the trees are more scattered and less
of a hassle to walk by. Tyler sighs a lot and yawns and leans on Josh when he's getting tired. And Josh just rubs the back of his hand with his thumb to remind him that they're going to be okay.

And when that's not enough and the days are more difficult then when they first left. They are In their tent, wrapped around each-other. sometimes Tyler will sing to him, gentle and soft and stroke his hair. And sometimes they'll talk.

Tyler will say. "I really thought I would die there." and shiver in Josh's arms.

Or he'll talk about being beaten. "I would be on the ground and they never stopped. They just," and then he's crying and Josh is pecking his face with kisses and crying with him.

And sometimes Josh will sigh and close his eyes and say. "There are gaps in my memory. Places, people. I could be missing entire parts of my life because they thought shock therapy was something that would keep us in line." There are tears, so many of them.

They wrap themselves around one another, safety, love, respect. Tyler kisses him goodnight every time Josh's eyes close, kisses his eyes lids and cheeks and chin.

And Josh squeezes him tight.

*

They settle into a routine. Finally. They'll walk for a day, as much as they can and then set up camp, take a day off and then go again.

There's optimism now, their mornings are spent in their tent, Josh's face between Tyler's legs, Tyler's mouth on his cock. Then they'll eat breakfast and pack up.

The bags they left with originally are much lighter now. They've probably left a trail of forgotten items through the forest but it's been weeks now and it's been easier to figure out what is necessary and what is luxury.

*

They have their tent set up at the bottom of the hill, right before the next thicket of forest begins and the grassy lands end.

They eat together and then Tyler disappears inside the tent for awhile before he Says something about a walk, he kisses him goodbye and Josh decides to stay outside on look out, just incase. He reads the only source of entertainment he had chosen to bring. A book, a childhood one his parents uses to read him before they forgot his name and him all together. He finds comfort in it.

He sits there for maybe an hour before deciding to go lie down in the tent.

"Tyler?" He calls out-loud, just to see if he's nearby. There's no answer except for birds chirping so he just ducks into the tent. He ends up in the middle of it, laying between his side and Tyler's. He wiggles around, searching for comfort before feeling something hard underneath him.

He sits up and feels where he had been laying and his hand wraps around something rubber. He quickly let's go of it then frowns.  his eyes widen at the sight of a dildo on their sleeping bags barely hidden by the clothes that had clearly been lazily thrown on top of it. "Oh,"

There are a million questions running through his mind but he just ends up confused and then he's laughing.

20 minutes later Tyler is unzipping the tent with a handful of raspberries delicately being balanced between his palms. "Hey," His lips are stained red. "I found so many raspberry bushes Josh." He says. "It's insane. I think raspberries are our fruit."

Josh, entranced by his thoughts remembers to speak. "Show me tomorrow. We can get a container of them for when we leave."

"That's the plan. Here have one," Tyler holds a raspberry between his fingers and Josh let's him place it between his lips.

"Good." He chews. "And not poisonous."

Tyler shrugs. "So far. There's still time."

"Hey," Josh says as Tyler starts stripping to his boxers, layer after later coming off . "Mind telling me why theres a.." He drifts off gesturing to the dildo on the sleeping bags, still half hidden beneath the covers.

"Oh." Tyler goes pink, his cheeks, the tips of his ears. "Well. I mean.. I brought it with me. When we left, it's mine." He admits, staring at it for a second before awkwardly smiling at a Josh, crooked teeth on display. "I still use it sometimes."

Josh looks at him. "I-"

"If you're sleeping, or if you're out.Which isn't often but," Tyler tilts his head at him. "Honey moon phase or whatever.. all I think about is sex." Tyler leans over Josh and grabs the sex toy and Josh realizes it, there are... straps attached to it as well.

"You don't need to like go into detail Tyler. I was just curious." Josh pauses. "It's..well." He looks over and tilts his head at him, heart beating out of his chest. "Yeah." He huffs out briefly pausing, he's choking on his words as he gets them out slowly. He eyes the leather straps of it. "You've used that on other people then?"

"Not many." He says as he searches through his bag. "A few men from the city, some women." He raises an eyebrow at Josh. "Rebels. You know what I mean?'

Josh gulps as images play through his mind. "It's been in your bag the whole time? Extra weight? Man, I never want to hear you complain about how heavy your bag is again."

"Getting sex toys in Dema." He laughs helplessly. "Is not easy Josh. They're only sold to people who are married and even then. It's regulated. The bishops are weirdos. God." He shakes his head.

"Right. I just- it's funny how it was a priority for you, out of all the things to pack. And that you just left it out in the open."

"Well. I wanted you to see it." He huffs out a laugh and pulls his pants down and then his sweaty shirt, he's not wearing his binder. Josh raises an eyebrow and follows the curve of his body but says nothing as he quickly slips on an oversized t-shirt on. "I thought you might be interested maybe." He raises an eyebrow at him.

"Oh," His eyes widen a bit, processing. "Yeah. I mean Yes. I want that." He licks his lips.

Tyler grins and gets closer. Sitting beside him, he softly places a hand on his thigh, squeezes. "I thought you might be into it." He cups his jaw to encourage him to look at him, Josh leans into his touch. "Me inside of you." He breathes into his ear. "Me fucking you."

"Uh." He laughs awkwardly before sighing. "Fuck." Tyler's thumb traces along his bottom lip. He's looking at him so intensely it scares him but whatever nerves he has disappear as he then leans in to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

"We can Take it slow." He murmurs against then. "Whatever you want. I think you'll like it a lot."

"I know i'll like it." He says, kissing him again. he can already feel himself rock hard in his pants. "I think about it a lot, getting fucked, sex. I just never had the chance before."

"Exactly." He huffs out a laugh and moves around so he's in front of him, on his knees. his hands on his shoulders. "I want to do everything you do to me, to you."

"Yeah?" He huffs out, leaning back as Tyler slowly presses him down onto their mattress of sleeping bags, climbing on top of him as he does this. Josh's hands go to his ass, slipping under the t-shirt.

"Yeah." Tyler tells him and then Josh is on his back. "Kiss you everywhere, get your legs over my shoulders, make you whine."

"That won't be hard." Josh says and squeezes his ass, Tyler lets out a soft sound. "I'm easy."

Tyler sighs teasingly. "I know."

They kiss, passion and heat and hands in hair, his fingers end up pressing inside of Tyler at his request and he's sighing into his mouth and smiling and kissing his jaw and Josh has never loved anybody the way he loves him. Tyler wiggles in his lap, breathes on his neck, Josh curls his fingers.

It's not long before Tyler's asking him to scoot to the edge of the tent and is going down on him, taking his cock into his mouth. He takes his time, playing with him, his balls, touching his thighs, making him spread his legs a little bit at a time. He rolls his hips forward and Tyler's completely unbothered by it, used to his antics, his hands go to Tyler's head and curl into his hair.

They only pause when he asks him to grab lube from his bag. He's panting and overwhelmed and. "Please." Josh looks at him then.

"Yes"

Tyler's between his legs again, sucking him off and now one of his fingers is covered with lube and is moving further back, touching around where he's nervous of him to go but also wants it desperately now as he gets used to the sensation. He just pets at the skin there and Josh moans quietly at the sensation of being inside his mouth and having Tyler touch him there.

It's only been a minute. "Stop," He says desperately, close, he's too close. Tyler stops at once and he pulls away from him in the slightest.

"Are you okay?" There's concern and his hands
go to his thighs and stroke up and down, it's comforting, so comforting.

"Yeah no, it's just too good. You know?" He laughs quietly, tilting his head back and Tyler looks pleased.

"That's what I thought." And he kisses him and he calms down all over again, melting into his touch, his embrace, his hand ends up back on his dick.

"I want to try it now, just one though. I-"

"Don't worry about it," He says all seriously. "I know you're a virgin."

"Unbelievable." He huffs into laughter and then moans. His stomach muscles clench as Tyler starts jerking him off the way he likes. He breathes out deeply, he needs to relax more.

"Virgin." He laughs to himself and then starts all over again. This time he's kissing him and pressing a lube covered finger against his hole and Josh spreads his legs to accommodate him, bends his knees.

His finger presses against him a few more times, rubbing, not quite pressing inside and then he's slipped it inside and it's weird but he just relaxes and continues to focus on his hand and his mouth.

The angle is awkward and maybe it should feel more awkward but Tyler makes everything feel easy. He fingers him like he's done it a million times and when he's pressing against what must be his prostate because he gasps into Tyler's mouth and jerks his hips up. "God." He gets out, tries to breathe.

"Fuck. This is going to be so good." His eyes are intense and his hand slows down on his dick.

"Yes," Josh wiggles his hips to get comfortable again. "It's." He sighs and Tyler's finger presses inside of him again and his body twitches. "Better than I thought."

"Good." And it continues and continues until he cant take it anymore and is coming into Tyler's hand. He trembles and bites his lip when it he happens and Tyler continues his ministrations with his fingers as Josh pants against his mouth.

"So brave." It's a joke and he chokes on his laughter as Tyler slides a second finger in with the first and it's weird and different but good all the same.

"Get inside of me." He manages and looks at him properly.

"I will." His fingers press into him deeply, they curl.

"Ouch." It hurts a bit more now.

"Sorry." He takes his fingers out and wipes them off on the sheets. "I was gonna see if you could take three but...." He shrugs and Josh grins at him and swaps their positions.

He gets Tyler off while they wait for him to get hard again, it doesn't take very long for him to be aching once more, he's 26 but since he and Tyler got together he's felt like he was 18.  he manages to get him on his back in the meantime, burying his face between his legs, letting Tyler ride his face, hands in his hair, nails on his shoulders. Tyler is digging his heels into his back.

Not long after Tyler's come, Josh is rolling his hips against the mattress as he rests his head on one of Tyler's thighs. Tyler kisses his forehead and then rolls him off of him.

"It's cute isn't it?" He asks. Holding it up for him to see. The straps, the dildo. There's nothing too special about it. It's not cute by any means.

"Eh," He tilts his head and turns over onto his front, gets up onto his knees.

Tyler's eyes are bright.

Josh helps him get the strap-on, onto his body. It's barely a task but it's nice to not just sit back and wait, he touches along his body and rubs at his clit until he's batting his hands away and telling him to. "Stop." He murmurs as he adjusts the straps to his liking. Tightening it to his body. "It won't take much for you I don't think." Tyler says distractedly.

Josh's mouth opens for a moment, faltering for any words. He looks good like this, there's something sexy about it that he just cant put his finger on but he loves it.

"How should I?" He's asks.

"On all fours maybe? What's your favourite sex position with me?"

He falters. He likes when he's on top of him the most but he's not sure he wants to be in that position right now. "Let's just do what you said."

Tyler hums in agreement and then manoeuvres him around easily, kissing him and then rolling him over. Josh pushes his hips upwards, arching his back. Tyler whistles.

"I can't stand you." He laughs and presses his face into his arms, offering himself to him, nervous.

Tyler chuckles against his skin, starts slowly, kissing his back, his thighs, caressing his ass. He melts into all of it. The way he touches him.

His fingers get to work again, one, then, two, then more lube and then there are three pressing inside of him while he grips his hip with his free hand and encourages him to fuck himself on his fingers. This angle is much easier and he gets used to it faster. Instinctively rocking backwards onto Tyler's fingers, panting into the sheets. "Mhm," He moans softly, quietly.

"This is so good." Tyler whispers, leaning forward to kiss at his neck. He can feel the dildo rubbing against the back of his thigh. "Best thing i've ever done, seeing you like this."

"Best, ah, thing?" The delicate fingers twist inside of him a few more times and before long Tyler's removed them and they're making out again, his hand on his dick. Josh hums into the kiss, familiar territory feeling safe.

"You can do it now." He laughs into his mouth. It feels light hearted. "Fuck me."

Tyler rolls his eyes but obliges, leaving him with a nip to his jaw line before he's pressing on the small of his back and has the dildo pressed up against him, slathered with lube. He can feel it dripping onto the sheets.

He lets it rest right against his hole, pushing it between the crease of his ass.

Josh groans. "Ah, Tyler come on just fuck me. Stop playing around."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay." He pushes inside, the dildo slides in easily but it hurts and it feels awkward and it's definitely not the same as taking someone's fingers. "It's just fun-" Josh takes it inch by inch and eventually when it's seated inside of him he wants to stop but his curiosity outweighs his slight discomfort.

"God." He's sweating once it's all the way inside. "This is.."

"I know," Tyler shushes and pulls back slightly, it brushes against his prostate and he shudders.

He's super slow with him, every movement minuscule, his hands comforting as they run up and down his back. It's nice, he pulls out a little bit more each time and then slides all the way back in, deep inside of him.

"Damn," He breathes out evenly and looks behind him to look at Tyler. His hair is messy and his cheeks are flushed and he leans in to kiss him hard, shoving his tongue into his mouth, gripping his jaw.

"Yeah," He nods and pulls out further this time all while maintaining eye contact before pushing back in quickly. Josh groans and can feel himself leaking against the sheets now and consequently lifts his hips up.

They get into a rhythm, slow and steady. His orgasm is building up very nicely it feels good but he wants more, faster, harder but he doesn't want to ask for it.

Josh pushes back against him this time and can't help the way he moans into his arm at the sensation. "Oh shit," Its completely overwhelming but he lets himself melt into it and Tyler makes a  tiny noise along with him as he presses back inside him over and over again trying to keep the angle that he seems to like.

"Harder?" He asks him eventually as Josh presses back against him with each thrust.

"Mhm," He nods into the sleeping bags.

He fucks him harder and they both grow more and more silent, Josh moaning quietly, Tyler panting. Tyler pulling his hips back onto his body, controlling the pace.

"Fuck," Josh whimpers when Tyler keeps on brushing his prostate over and over again. "Jesus-"

Tyler fucks him like Josh fucks him and he loves it. It's so easy with him. He barely lasts another few minutes at this pace, it's brutal and the sounds he ends up letting out are ones he didn't think he was capable of making.

When he comes it's the moment Tyler wraps his hand around his dick. It's too much and he shudders. "Oh fuck." and can barely support himself on all fours when it happens. His face ends up in his arms, teeth biting at his own skin as he comes and rolls his hips with his orgasm.

He's never felt this way before and he smiles and is still panting, trembling as he feels Tyler drape himself around him. It's way too hot to be stuck to each-other like this but he's perfectly fine with it. They kiss softly and hold warmly and Tyler whispers how good he was in his ear so much that he's laughing into the crook of his neck.

"Don't call me a good boy," Josh mumbles.

Tyler pinches his arm. "But you are," He laughs.

"Shut up."

The rest of the night is spent in a similar fashion. They sleep, then they wake up and Josh is hard and Tyler is on top of him or his fingers are inside of him and the words good boy are vaguely muttered between them as they get each other off.

And there's kissing, so much of it, Beard burn dots along Tyler's face, his thighs, and their lips are both red and slightly bruised by the time they've passed out. But they wouldn't have it any other way.

They find safety in each-other, in their bodies.

*

In the morning, Josh is sore. Understandably and Tyler is no longer in bed with him. He's not worried, he can hear movement outside. Stepping and rustling and the sound of the river.

Slowly he slips on a pair of boxer shorts. He searches the tent for clothes. Pulls on a sweater, pants and then heads outside, closing the tent flap behind him.

There's already a fire going when he gets outside. Tyler is cooking some oatmeal for them. When he turns around to see him, Tyler blushes.

Josh raises an eyebrow and Tyler slowly stands up.

"Hi."

"Are we making this a big deal?" He asks, it's just sex. They've had sex before.

"No, it's not about that." Tyler says, picking at a thread on his jacket. "I just thought maybe you wouldn't want to make breakfast this morning."

"Because..."

"Well.." He says looking away from him. "Maybe i'm a little hard on you sometimes or tease you too much. You don't have to do everything around here. I can do things for us."

Josh smiles at him. "Very sweet of you."

"God stop looking at me like that. It's just breakfast." He murmurs.

"Sure." He says.

Tyler looks up. "I just wanted to feed you okay? You do so much. And I mean I know I do stuff too but I feel really appreciated by you all of the time and I just want to put in more of an effort to make sure you feel the same way." He moves back over to the pot of oatmeal and peers into it.

Josh grins and crouches down beside him. "I feel appreciated by you don't worry about it too much. I could get used to not being awake super early every morning though."

"Well this is a once a week thing," Tyler sticks his tongue out and Josh stands up and grabs a blanket they had put on the ground the day before and drags it closer to where the fire pit is.

"I feel like we're close." Tyler says eventually.

He readjusts the blanket. "To what?"

"Freedom." Tyler tilts his head and stirs the oatmeal. "Just another few days maybe and I think we'll be where we're supposed to be."

Josh places a hand on his shoulder, lightly. "Yeah. I think you're right."

Tyler grins.

*