[im 24 and that was actually my reaction when I heard Easier in the store the other day. My mom got mad lmao]

Chapter 19 ~ Let's Run Away

***

Ashton watched Sadie get up from her chair in the kitchen to get the salt for her potatoes. She'd offered to cook for Ashton for the past week, and he had to say it was kind of nice to have something normal after the weirdness with his best friend.

After that night earlier in the week when he'd had a major freak out and he and Luke confessed their feelings for each other, the two men had been in this weird limbo where they tried to act normal, but also were very shy around each other. It was like they were back in fourth grade and had a crush on the other but didn't know what to say to each other.

"Was she right?" Ashton whispered.

"About wh-what?" Luke asked, matching Ashton's hesitant voice.

"Do you love me?"

Luke's breath caught in his throat. He knew with a question like that he couldn't leave Ashton waiting for too long. He had to tell the truth.

"Yes."

"Y-you do?" Luke thought Ashton's surprised expression was adorable.

"Of course I do, Ash," Luke brought his hand up to hold Ashton's cheek. "Louis actually noticed it before I did, he asked me why I was so willing to do anything for you, and made me realize why I want to help you so much."

"You do things for me...because you love me?"

"That's what you do for people you love." A small smile slipped onto Ashton's face. "It's also b-because I'm in love with you, t-too." Luke admitted.

Ashton blushed, face turning bright red.

"I think...I know, I'm in l-love with you," Ashton confessed breathlessly, not able to look in Luke's eyes.

"Hey," Luke brought his hand underneath Ashton's chin and directed his gaze towards him. "Don't be embarrassed, baby. This is great."

Ashton chuckled.

"Yeah, you are great."

Luke laughed, the sound loud in the stillness of the early morning.

"You're cheesy, did you know?"

Ashton rolled his eyes, closing the distance between him and Luke and pressing his face into Luke's chest.

"You just ruined the moment," he mumbled.

Luke chuckled again.

After that revelation, Ashton had gone home genuinely happy to get ready for work and they hadn't really spoken about it since. They didn't know if the other wanted to talk more, or where they should go from there. Luke was in the process of getting a divorce, so Ashton felt like it would be too much to try to do anything with Luke right now; they hadn't even signed the papers yet.

So instead, they just tried to be normal, which was surprisingly difficult now that they knew what the other was thinking.

But it was confusing for Ashton. He knew what to do before, back when it wasn't awkward between him and Luke, and now it felt like he had to try to keep things the way they were before. He was exhausted.

He sighed, tired from thinking about what to do with Luke and thought about the girl sitting in front of him instead. Ashton felt comfortable talking around her. He wasn't sure what it was about her, but she had a nice presence that made him feel safe, like he was able to let himself be...himself when he was with her. The only other person who had ever made him feel that way was Luke. It was nice to have more than one person who elicited those feelings from him.

"Need some?" Sadie asked, holding out the salt shaker to him. He nodded, pushing his plate toward her and allowing her to shake it out. Once she was done, she set it on the table and looked up at him. "Did you have a good day today?"

Ashton shrugged instead replying, "What did you do?"

Sadie grinned.

"I read part of that dragon book, watched some episodes of Parks and Rec, wrote a chapter of my book, and cleaned the bathroom."

Ashton had been letting her stay unlocked. Every night this week, he'd gone home and talked to her. He decided he could trust her not to leave, even if she was angry at the beginning that he locked her up when he got upset. He apologized for that though. She understood that he wasn't sure how to deal with all of his feelings and was quick to forgive him.

"Do you like the food?" Sadie asked once Ashton only nodded in response to what she'd done all day. He nodded again. She'd made a meatloaf with mashed potatoes and green beans, which apparently was one of her favorite foods.

They ate mostly in silence, in between Sadie explaining what was happening in her book, which Ashton thought was kind of interesting. She had some good ideas, (the story centered around 2 boys from an alternate reality whose life was actually a game) but she wouldn't let him read any of her work yet. She was still too nervous and said she needed to edit a lot of it before anyone could look at it.

It was so domestic, what they were doing that if someone had looked in the window and saw them, you'd think they were a couple just eating dinner and talking about their day. But how could this feel so normal when everything in Ashton's life was chaos?

He frowned, playing with the potatoes on his plate instead of eating.

Sadie noticed the shift in his mood and quieted down, unsure of what to expect from him at the moment. He had seemed okay when he came home, but all of a sudden the dark cloud was back and making him look sad.

Ashton abruptly stood up, throwing his napkin on his plate and left the room. Sadie watched him with wide eyes, but knew better than to comment on it. He'd let her be free for the past couple days, (with the exception of nighttime when he was in his bed and she slept on the couch), but she knew the smallest thing could set him off and bring him back to treating her like a criminal. She enjoyed the small amount of freedom she had in his house.

Sadie picked at the rest of her meal, eating what she could until she couldn't bear the weird tension floating around the house. She cleaned up the kitchen table, having taken on some chores to make things easier for Ashton so he didn't have to worry about it after he got home from work. Once she finished, she peaked into the living room and found him sitting in his favorite arm chair, head in his hands, and eyes squeezed shut.

She padded over to the couch, sitting down silently and waiting for Ashton to notice her. She wasn't sure what she should do, if saying anything to him might set him off.

So she settled in, picking up the almost full notebook Ashton had gifted her a couple weeks ago, and started to read what she'd written that day. He finally opened his eyes and settled his gaze on her, keeping his face blank.

"Hi," she whispered, setting the notebook on her lap and looking at him. He didn't reply, instead folded his arms over his stomach and clenched his fists. "A-are you okay?"

Ashton took a deep breath. He wasn't. Why did she care? What was she still doing, taking care of Ashton's house, cleaning up from dinner she'd cooked, sitting across from him, smiling and talking about her day when Ashton was the one who kidnapped her? Why did she never try to escape? What about her old life, did she miss it? Why was she so nice to him?

He opened his mouth to try to ask her, but nothing came out.

"I'll go make some tea," She tried to get up and Ashton groaned, flopping back into his chair.

"Why the fuck are you so nice?" He all but exploded. Sadie wished she was scared of his outburst, but she found herself more confused and concerned, remembering how she felt back when he first kidnapped her. There was something about him that drew her to him, and she wasn't sure what it was. "I don't get why you're still here. There's been plenty of chances for you to escape." He leveled a glare at her, and she looked down, wringing her hands.

"I-I-"

"It doesn't make sense, I've been nothing but terrible to you. Why do you stay?"

Sadie shrugged.

"I didn't want to make things worse for you, and Luke."

"That's bullshit," he mumbled.

Ashton wasn't sure what he was feeling. It seemed like everything he'd done had finally caught up with him.

He was a terrible person. How could he just take an entire human? Who does that? Who rips someone away from their life and forces them to stay captive at their house? She was innocent. Sure, he'd done bad things to people with the gang, but this was just some random girl who wasn't involved in that business at all.

He didn't think he could do it anymore. He couldn't keep living like this, going back and forth with her, pretending like everything was normal, but having to chain her to the couch at night. What was his life? It would be better if he was gone.

Everyone would be better off without him. Luke wouldn't have to worry about speaking for him, Louis wouldn't have to protect him, Harry wouldn't have to clean up after him anymore. It would be better for everyone if he left their lives. He'd deliver the last of his money to his aunt so she can take care of his siblings, and then he'd turn himself in to the police. He would take the blame for everything, finally do one thing right in his life.

"Ashton, hey," She scooted closer, noticing he was starting to tug out bits of his hair. She put a hand on his arm and he flinched away, but brought his hands down from his head, which made Sadie sigh in relief.

"Why haven't you run away from me? I'm a horrible person."

"Ash, no--"

"I am, Sadie." He lifted his eyes to meet her gaze and she recoiled at the pain she saw there. He was torturing himself in his mind, and she wished there was something she could do to ease his anguish. "I fucking kidnapped you, I was the one who made the decision to throw you in the car, instead of just doing what I should have done."

Sadie took a breath to interrupt, but Ashton was too lost in his thoughts to notice.

"I just couldn't do it, I let myself be blinded by what I saw in you,"

She strained her ears to hear that last part.

"Y-you saw something i-in me?" she whispered.

He nodded.

"I don't know what it is, but since the moment I saw you I knew I couldn't hurt you. And yet that's all I've done, isn't it?" He laughed bitterly, tearing his gaze away from her and to the coffee table next to them, glaring at the notebook sitting on the glass. Ashton brought his hand up to his forearm and almost absently started scratching at the skin. Sadie took his hand so he couldn't keep hurting himself. Ashton whipped his head to look at their intertwined fingers. "All I do causes problems. It would be better if I just turned myself in. Then I wouldn't keep hurting the people I love,"

"You can't do that,"

"I'm a terrible person, I don't deserve to live the life I have."

"You're not, Ash, trust me," she inched forward, drawn to him like a magnet. He watched her, but doesn't stop her, even when she brought her face to his and glanced down at his lips. He took a sharp breath before closing his eyes, closing the distance and pressed his lips to hers. He could sense her nerves, so he kept it slow, bringing his hand up to hold her face.

A few moments later, they pulled back for breath and stared at each other.

"Don't turn yourself in, Ashton," she said quietly. "You might not see it, but you mean a lot to the people around you."

He shifted back onto the couch, biting his lip. He shrugged.

"Why do you and Luke even rob banks anyway? What do you do with all the money?" Sadie's mind was reeling from the kiss--she couldn't believe she did that--but she knew in order to keep them both from spiraling, she had to keep him talking. "Your house isn't over the top, you've got a real nice car, but with all the money you guys have taken, I would have thought you'd do something with it."

Instead of responding, Ashton got up and grabbed his laptop from the kitchen and returned, opening up a blank Word document.

Going to type, don't want to talk anymore

"That's fine, Ashton. You don't have to talk or do anything if you don't want to," Sadie assured him, and he patted her knee twice before returning to the keypad.

u know the story of robin hood? He turned to look at her once he finished typing.

"Of course, he stole from the rich and gave to the poor, everyone knows that story."

thats what Luke and I do. we steal from his awful father, whose company is corrupt, and also he's an awful person. so we take money from him and then give it to people who need it. yu might not know it, but Luke loves music.

That surprised her for some reason, and she wasn't sure why. Maybe music and uptight banker/thief just didn't go together in her mind, but she knew there was a lot about the tall blonde that she didn't know about.

so Luke takes the money he steals and donates it to music programs at different schools, daycares, and other places that probably don't have the funds to get instruments for kids so they can learn. sometimes he just buys out an entire music store and brings the stuff to a school.

"Wow, that's...kind of amazing." Sadie found herself in awe of these two men. She never would have expected just by looking at them that they'd be philanthropists or anything of the sort. They didn't look like scrubs, but they certainly didn't seem like the charitable type.

Ashton shrugged, slight blush creeping up on his cheeks.

whatever.

He erased that and continued with his story before Sadie could ask.

dont know if you picked up on it, but I didn't have a good family life growing up. mum was a drunk after being abused by my dad who walked out when I was abt 10.

"Ash, I'm so sorry, that's terrible."

He shrugged again.

doesn't matter now. I got out, and got my siblings out, so

"Wait, you have siblings?" Sadie stopped him. She was reading over his shoulder.

"I have two." He spoke, his voice rough, so he cleared his throat. "Both younger, did my best to protect them when I could. Turned 18, left home and brought them to my aunts, so she could care for them."

"Wow, that's amazing you were able to do that, Ashton."

He shook his head. He should be doing more, more than just sending money to them. He should be with them, taking care of them. But he can't even take care of himself, that's why he stayed away. They were better off without him too.

"No, don't try to discount yourself so much," Sadie argued. "You got your siblings out of an unsafe environment all by yourself at 18. That's incredible."

He shrugged. It wasn't, but he'd let her think that. He pulled the laptop back again so he could keep typing. He leaned back against the couch, looking at Sadie to see if she was going to do the same. When she just watched him warily, he grabbed her hand and pulled her back so she was forced to be close to him. She hid a secret smile as he began typing again.

I send my portion of the money to my aunt so she can take care of the kids. that was part of the deal, if she was going to take them, I had to help out. b4Luke and I set up this scam, most of my paycheck was going to them, but then we did this so we could help everyone out

"Well, even if you don't agree, I find all of this very impressive."

"Thanks," he whispered softly, putting the computer down. "What about your family?"

Sadie scoffed.

"We're pretty similar, except that I wasn't brave like you were. My parents are drunks too, but I still live with them." Ashton sat up, looking intently at her. "No, they've never hurt me, I've always been safe for the most part," she reassured him. With a nod, he sank back into the couch, turning slightly so he could watch her. She ran her fingers through her hair nervously before meeting his eyes. "They actually ignore me for the most part. I wasn't surprised that it took the police investigation for them to notice I was gone."

Ashton shook his head, seeming upset.

"That's dumb. They should have appreciated you."

Sadie smiled, feeling her face heating up as she looked down where her hands met Ashton's. She traced small circles on the back of his palm with her thumb.

"Let's run away."

Ashton's jaw dropped.

"Wh-what?"

"The two of us, we have nothing here. My family sucks, you don't even see your siblings or anything, we can find a way to send them money occasionally if you're really concerned. I know you don't care about your job. We should just go."

Ashton pulled away from the crazy girl. He couldn't just go...He had Luke, the gang, and he liked being this close to his family in case something went wrong so he'd be able to help. He'd known this girl for less than 3 weeks, how could she think running away together was the answer?

"I...can't j-just--"

"Ashton think about it. You could get a fresh start, some place where no one knows you and you can take the chance to worry about yourself for once. You care so much about everyone else in your life, when was the last time you did something for yourself?"

Ashton shook his head and he couldn't stop. He couldn't do that. He was a lot of things, but selfish wasn't one of them. He knew he could never leave everyone behind.

"B...but Luke?"

Sadie chewed her lip, furrowing her eyebrows.

"He can come. He likes girls, after all, yeah?" Sadie nodded, almost as if deciding something. "Yeah, the three of us can go, run away and leave this town. Imagine, we could travel anywhere." She said wistfully, staring up at the ceiling.

If she'd been focusing on Ashton instead of planning their trip in her mind, she would have noticed his panic, seen his eyes unable to focus on anything, his breathing becoming labored.

She would have seen him bolt out of the house, swiping his keys from the counter before locking the door and getting into his car and driving.

***

What do you think of Sadie's offer? Should he accept?? Would you, if you were in his shoes?

Also, that story that Sadie is writing is a story I have in mind for in the future...I have a google drive full of all sorts of story ideas I'm going to write one day (hopefully.)

Hope you're enjoying this so far, it's about to get goooooood (I hope). Have a great night <3 love you all

~ashtonfortherwin