(Heavy Smut Warning, beginning and end marked with ***)

"See over there, doll?" Negan asked, looking longingly out of the window with a sly grin.

"Where?" You exclaimed, lifting your palms and squinting. A strong arm pulled you forward and around, clinging around your waist. Your hands went up instinctively up to Negans chest to brace yourself.

There was that warmth again...His chest felt like a solid wall of muscle and you couldn't help but notice the thickness of his biceps. Your fingers had cuffed themselves to the lapels of his jacket and you looked up nervously through your eyelashes.

He was looking down at you with a grin. "Sorry, doll. Sometimes I forget my own strength".

Your fingers unhooked themselves like you had touched a hot stove, and pools of warmth flared in your cheeks.

He noticed.

"Wow, doll. If I can make you blush that damn easily you'll be AMMMAZZZED at what else I could make your blood rush to...Honey. That's a befitting fucking name. I gotta say doll I'll dip my tongue in your jar any day...Whadya say?"

Your cheeks flared even redder and you were sure you were as bright as your apple, you tried to back away but he held you in place.

"With pride comes disgrace Negan...And evil stains. As devastatingly handsome as you are...I'll have to pass. Now, what do you want me to look at?" You laughed, lightly patting his stomach in jest.

"Tsk-spoil sport. Wait...Holy shit balls you think I'm handsome! I'm fucking honored. doll"

"Negan! What am I looking at?" Your patience was beginning to wear thin with his games.

He moved behind you in one swift motion and you momentarily tensed waiting for his next move. But he simply placed his two hands gently on either side of your face and tilted your head to the direction of a small room, one floor below.

He placed his arms beside your waist and leaned on the sill, essentially trapping you, he dipped his head so he was level with your ear and rested his chin on your shoulder.

You could feel his chest on your back, his soft breaths rising and falling and you couldn't stop yourself from leaning into him, you saw his biceps tighten in response.

"See that room? That's a sorta kindergarten we have here. We had a few teachers join us last year...the idea was to keep the children up with the reading and writing. Cant have the next generation growing up to be fucking illiterate now, can we? It's difficult enough with the numb fuckers already here."

Your eyes traced the outline of painted giraffes, castles and clouds on the wall of the powder pink room. The four children you spied looked like they were captivated by a small framed woman sat at the front, reading from a big red book from behind thick red framed glasses.

You moved your face to his, your eyes narrowed and suspicious.

"What are you getting at, Negan?"

"See those little darlin's in there." He whispered, his chin leaving your shoulder.

"Yes...Your point?..."

"Well, Sweetheart. You and your people...Y'all made them orphans. Poor fuckin' mites."

You tensed. Feeling nauseous and as if you were just jabbed in the gut by a sharp rusty pipe, it physically hurt.

"I KNOW you were one of the people in your group that slaughtered my men in their sleep at that outpost. You said so yourself. A knife straight through the temple? Very fucking savage work Honey, I mean even I haven't killed a man in his sleep." He snickered, tapping at your temple with his index finger.

You tried to back away but he didn't move and instead narrowed his arms, leaving you trapped with the view of the children whose parents you took away. None of them could be older than six.

"Not a nice fuckin image is it? Did you even begin to think about the consequences of your fucking actions?" Negan rebuked, his tone harsh and petitioning.

You lowered your head, taking great interest in the carpet.

"I understand all is fair in love and war, Honey. But don't sit there and look at me with those big, brown judgemental eyes of yours when you have a shit tonne of blood on your own hands."

He leaned in closer, his hips insistent on your back.

"Kimberly, Annabelle, Peter, and Jack. That's the names of the kids over there. How 'bout we pay them a visit? You can play teacher and explain to them why their parents aren't coming back?"

"That's ENOUGH Negan! You've made your point!" You turned around to face him, the action interesting him. He raised his eyebrows quizzically as your chests touched. You opened your mouth to speak but words escaped you as tears welled in your eyes and you shook your head in dismay.

A warm hand cupped your face as a strong arm curled around your waist. Gentle fingers brushed away the now falling tears.

You had warned Rick again and again about that outpost. The idea of it had sat wrong. Just plain wrong. But you had ceded to him when he eroded your stubbornness. The image of your blade crunching into a temple making you scrunch your nose. The sound it had made...

"Fuck! Oh, Hey...Come on now, sugar. Don't get all soppy on me, I was only...enlightening you...Don't break my image of you as a bad ass."

You and Negan looked at each other for a silent minute, he shifted his weight and stepped forward, his hips pressing into your stomach and the hand that was around your waist began to trace circles on your back, sending that old familiar jolt of lightning from your toes to fingertips as they began to tickle lower.

You suppressed the urge to bite your bottom lip and shyly averted your now half-lidded eyes, warring with yourself about asking him to stop.

You swallowed hard and he grinned lazily.

"Look at me, doll" He inhaled.

You screwed your eyes shut and shook your head in opposition

"No, get the fuck away, your too close." You breathed.

Negans hand seized your face roughly and he jerked it towards him.

The suddenness of his action made you gasp and furrow your eyebrows together, your startled eyes locking with his as your mind hurriedly tried to adjust to the massively bi-polar difference to what it was experiencing a second before.

Capricious fucker!

He eased the strength of his grip when he saw your wince of discomfort. His eyes softening as he brushed his thumb across your lips, then over your jawline. He pressed his hips in harder, making your eyes flutter as he leaned his face down to match your eye level. You couldn't help but tilt your head towards his lips and slowly move in, stopping an inch away from his mouth. You closed your eyes as the hand on your back lowered to sneak up the back of your sweater and trace a line up your spine, you pressed your hips in deeper, your hands undoing his jacket zip before traveling up to rest around his neck.

You began to sweat as the heat pooled inbetween your legs. A needy ache that made your knees feel weak as your full breaths made your breasts rise and fall against his chest. As good as it felt you hated it. How could your body betray you for a man whom you should hate with a burning passion?

SHOULD hate?! This isn't supposed to be obligatory, Honey. You DO hate him. Loathe is a better word.

His lips gently brushed down your neck, sending a shiver down your spine and a low moan through your throat. Your fingers bunched up little handfuls of material on his shirt as his kisses got lower, now gently trailing over your collarbone, leaving little patches of fire in their wake and tickling your back.

"Negan, please...we shouldn't be doing this, what we did before was bad enough...stop before I can't say no".

His hand slowly slid up the front of your sweater, tickling the soft skin on your stomach and tugging at the middle of your bra, watching how they bounced under his efforts.

You pressed into him, your head leaning on his lowered shoulder and your breaths becoming quick and wanting.

"Don't do this just to get at Rick, just to manipulate us..."

"Why the FUCK you bringing him up for, Honey?! I don't manipulate, I give my orders loud and fucking clear. I have no time for head fucking, besides, do you see him here? Anyone here..."

"You've got a huge mouth...and a huge ego"

"I'm getting a huge something else aswell...". Negan growled, his fingers now tugging the waistband on your pants.

"This shouldn't be hap-" You were cut off.

"All you've got to do, is tell me to stop." He breathed, pulling back from you with his two hands now placed just under your breasts and awaiting an answer.

You knew the right thing to do was bolt. But as you looked up at him the temptation was just too great, you were sick of years of fighting, sick of arguing, sick of being alone, you and Rick were never going to happen. You needed warmth, you needed intimacy. And at that time, you needed him.

***

You slid your hands over his shoulders and pressed your body into him, making sure he could feel your breasts against his chest. You angled your mouth towards his lips, and slightly reached up on your toes so your noses touched. He wrapped his arms tight around you and pressed his lips hard against yours, encouraging your mouth open to slide in his tongue, tangling it with yours. You ran your fingers through his hair, pulling it to tilt his mouth so you could deepen your kiss, causing him to moan into it. His hands traveled down your back to firmly squeeze your backside, and in one effortless motion he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you towards the bed, throwing you down and crawling on top of you. Pinning your hands above your head.

"Fuck Honey, I've been wanting to do this since the day I sa-"

You firmly bit his lower lip, sliding your tongue over it to soothe the sting you left and he gasped slightly, his grip tightening and his eyes wide.

You couldn't help but laugh.

"Jesus, you talk to fuckin' much".

"You little shit! Wait and see what I do to you now!" He growled, leaning up and flipping you over as a scream escaped your lips. His hands lifted your hips up and pulled you hard against him. The feeling of a thick hard erection under his pants against your sweet spot made you moan and grip the covers.

"Fuck, is that the spot baby?" He purred as you nodded your head and grinded your backside against him for more friction. A chuckle escaped his lips and the sound of a jingling belt made your breath catch in your throat.

You flipped over back on to your back, you wanted to see this. He undid his belt and made eye contact with you, his pupils blown and eyes half-lidded as you bit your lip and smiled, enjoying your wetness smeared on his mouth. He grabbed your ankles and pulled you down the bed, leaning on you for another kiss and your hands gripped the hem of his shirt to pull it over his head and throw it to the floor.

His lips kissed over your jawline and neck as he gripped and massaged your breast from under your sweater, sneaking in two fingers to squeeze a nipple, making your back arch and your teeth bite into his bare shoulder.

But you had enough being underneath him, and you wanted to feel his body under your hands. You pushed all of your weight up against him and pressed him onto his back, your hands intertwining with his fingers and holding them above his head. 

Straddling his hips you looked down into his eyes with a big grin. "How's it feel to have a woman on top of you, baby?" You chuckled at him, he laughed back and bucked his hips to shake you off, but you held on tight and held his hands harder. You lent in for another deep kiss, gently biting and sucking his bottom lip and tangling your tongue with his.

You paid attention to his neck, sucking patches of skin and allowing your eyelashes to tickle against him.

You moved across to kiss his Adam's apple and collarbone, but you needed to taste more.

You released his hands and slowly made your way down his body, stroking patches of hair and kissing his pectorals and abs. Tickling your fingers from the side of his cheeks, all the way to the very top of his waistband.

Your teeth undid the rest of his zipper, his big hand wrapped in your hair and he pressed your face towards his crotch with a low moan and buck of his hips.

You weren't about to give in that easy, you wanted him to work for it.

"Oh fuck, Honey. Twice in one fuckin day, have I won some sort of post-apocalyptic fuckin lottery?"

You stopped all attention and he moaned in agitation. Effortlessly flipping you over to be on top of you again and pulling off your sweater to reveal your breasts, he unclasped the bra with one hand and shook you out of it. Aiming his mouth to suck a nipple and smooch around it.

Your back arched into him and your hand held the back of his hair to keep it in place, your other hand slipping into his undone pants to grasp his cock, giving it one firm stroke from bottom to tip.

"Holy fuck, Negan. It was a fuckin task fittin it into my mouth, how am I going to take all that anywhere else?"

He kissed your lips deeply as his hands squeezed your backside and he rubbed a palm over your pussy. The unexpected friction making you groan and grip his hair with your other hand as you continued with your strokes, letting your fingers play around his tip and your thumb and index finger ring down it.

"Fuck Baby, I can't take this anymore, get these fuckin' clothes off" He groaned huskily, applying more pressure before tugging your pants down-and-off before throwing them to the other side of the bed. 

All you were left in was a pair of huge thermal black panties.

He looked down at them and laughed, his fingers tugging at their waistband teasingly and moving them down into them feel your swollen nub.

"What the fuck are they, Hon". You squeezed his neck playfully and blushed even harder. "Shut the hell up! That's all I have!"

"They'll have to fuckin go!" He teased, and you lifted up your hips for him to pull them off.

You couldn't take this anymore, the dull ache in between your legs couldn't be ignored and you pressed his hand to encourage him to go faster, your heart rate and breath going into overdrive, as he squeezed and rubbed and flicked at horrendously teasing different speeds and patterns.

"You want to do this, Honey?" He asked you softly, stopping his treatment.

You looked him in the eyes before giving him one last deep kiss.

"Don't go easy on me Negan, please. I need to have all of you"

"So you ever had one this big before?" All you could do was shake you're head, too wound up to speak.

He moaned into your mouth and lent back onto his knees, tugging his pants and underpants down and off. You couldn't believe his body, you had only ever seen one other man naked like this, and that was in the dim light. You felt entranced, and truthfully slightly nervous, you prayed it wouldn't hurt.

You smiled softly at him and placed a finger in your mouth, lying down flat on the bed after puffing up a pillow for under your head.

For a minute he just looked at you, soaking in every piece of your body and teasing his fingers at the entrance of your pussy.

"You're SURE, Honey?...I don't want you to regret this." He asked one last time, searching your eyes.

You simply opened your legs wider, inviting him inbetween them. A single, sharp "fuck" escaped his lips as he layover you and intertwined one hand with yours, kissing down on your lips, then to your nipple and back to your lips again.

He grasped his cock with his other hand, angling it right at your entrance after letting the tip slip up to rub against your swollen rub. This was unbelievable and you shoved up your hips for him, squeezing his fingers.

"I gotta say, Hon. I didn't think you'd give in this easily, I was expecting a challenge, not that I'm fuckin complainin'." He chuckled, shaking his head.

You tensed instantly, his words arranging themselves in your head and dampening any desire. "What the fuck did you just say?" You spat, shuffling away from him and hiding your body with his blanket.

He must have realized his mistake and squeezed his eyes closed, biting down on his bottom lip and rubbing his eyes.

"Fuck...I just meant. I-You...Just come back over here and let's-" He stuttered, trying to reach out for your wrist, but you cut him off, slapping his hand away.

"I know exactly what you meant, well...Fuck.You." You bolted away from him, skipping across the room to pick up your clothes and re-dress, he followed suit, shrugging back into his clothes and stuttering out excuses.

"Hon. You know that's not what I meant"

A tide of murkiness washed over you, and you felt as deep as a puddle, but as treacherous as a stormy sea. You cursed yourself for your weakness. You're mind spewing the words deserter, cheap and easy. How could you do this to them? What would they do if they ever found out?