Chapter nineteen

The fire in the centre of the room did much to warm the icy hair that settled. Winter was settling in fast and within the few weeks that Merida had come to Kattegat, the waters had become unable to sail through and the winds too cold to face without many layers. But the warmth of the fire, no matter how large, wasn't enough to ease the tenseness of her muscles. The past few days had been spent with Lagertha, on her own persistence. If she was to be a shield maiden, then she would be a good one.

The atmosphere in the main hall was much different to the one that she had grown used to. Instead of loud singing and drinks sloshing around and staining the floor with stickiness, the evening reminded her of home more than anything else. They all sat more quietly, talking between themselves as they sat beside the fire. There wasn't as many people either, only those close to Ragnar- Merida was surprised to even be invited, but she supposed Lagertha may have had something to do with it. Though Ragnar loved her a lot. It seemed the image of Lagertha that lay in her movements and stubbornness meant he had no reason to dislike her.

Ragnar and Lagertha weren't the only ones who seemed to take a liking to her. Bjorn's half brothers hung off her arm at every seconds they could, asking her to play or shoot her arrows through the woods- they had seen her that first day. Apparently many had. But Ubbe loved her more than any of his brothers. The young boy's eye sparkled every time he saw her and everyone had noticed it. Merida laughed at the thought of having a young boy fancy her. In Dunbroch she was the last of the Lords' children to ever be seen as worthy of anything such, so she felt flattered at least a bit.

The three boys sat around her, taking in the fire with wide eyes. Ivar was held in her arms too, after much persistence. Aslaug didn't seem to like her very much. But all of the boys seemed to be intent on learning of her own home, of the land across the sea.

"What was your home like?"

"Green. Very green. With waterfalls dropping to the sea and trees reaching far." She smiled at the thought of home. "We had sun and rain and snow all through the year."

"I can't remember the last time it rained without snow or ice," Ubbe said.

Merida could imagine that to be quite true. In the weeks that she had spent in Kattegat, the town had been suffocated by ice and snow, the trees wearing their Winter coats of frost so early.

"Well maybe one day you boys may see it- see Dunbroch. Your brother Bjorn has, and your father is well known for his sailing," she said. "I think that says enough about what your lives may be like too."

"I hope so," Hvitserk added warily, his chin drooping to rest of his hands too close to the fire, so that he flinched back.

"I'm going to be a big strong raider," Ubbe said, while pulling his brother back with a smirk.

"I don't doubt it."

"I got my first sword today."

His brothers didn't seem happy at that. Ubbe was the eldest of the four and would therefore be first to almost everything. And while she wouldn't know exactly how the three felt, she could picture it- her three brothers had been younger than her too.

"You're already getting there."

"And I get mine soon," Hvitserk jumped to tell her, making Ubbe scowl.

She watched as they begun to argue with each other, squabbling as she had done with her own family. They grew louder, earning glares of annoyance from the otherwise quiet room. So Merida patted their shoulders, gaining their attention.

"I want you to promise me something boys." They stared up at her intently. "You have a lovely family. And a brotherly bond that remind me of my brothers."

"You have brothers?" Sigurd asked.

"Yes three. Hubert, Harris and Hamish."

Hubert too kind, Harris too stubborn and Hamish too adventurous, for their own good.

"Where are they?"

"At home. I came alone for my own reasons," she said, watching them lean forward curiously. "But the promise. Don't let anything that happens to your family and joke break your family bond. Look after each other, all of you, even little Ivar."

She looked down to the little boy who sat calmly in her arms. Soon they would all be older, stronger in both mind and body. They'd be like Bjorn, their half brother, the man they looked up to just as much as Ragnar.

"Then you'll be truly unbeatable." They grew excited by her words. "You promise me?"

Ubbe was first to answer. "I promise."

Then Hvitserk. "I promise."

"Me too," Sigurd shouted, before being pulled back by his brothers.

"Say it," they said.

"I promise."

"Good."

Merida was drawn toward the music around the room once again. It had been constant, a flowing found that hadn't been heard often in Kattegat. A voice, like a stream, winding and meandering softly, filling the room with the naturally gentle sound. A woman's voice.

"They're singing," she said simply, waiting for an explanation. It was so different.

"It's tradition," said Ubbe.

"It's beautiful." Her favourite word.

She felt a tug on her arm. "Can you sing one?"

"Me?" She shook her head, eyes wide. "I'm not much of a singer."

"Please?" They joined together to plead, their hands shaking her sleeves. Perhaps she shouldn't have made them promise to work together, if they were going to use it like that, against her.

"Alright. Come, let's go to the fire."

They settled closer to the fire pit, the flames lighting her skin a marbling red and orange, the vibrant but shadowy colours almost blending into her loose hair. The warmth spread further as they sat, hands almost burning at the closeness.

"My mother used to sing this to my brothers and I when we were unsure. She sang it to our soldiers before they went to defend against Mercia long ago, too," she explained, tucking Ivar closer to her chest as the boys huddled in.

"Little baby, hear my voice. I'm beside you, O maiden fair."

Merida sang, her voice quiet and light as it just barely spread through the room. It wasn't natural and pretty like the voices often heard, but rough and sharp around the edges. But in its own way, many thought it was beautiful, a sound that matched her heritage, her home and her surroundings.

"Our young Lady, grow and see, your land, your own faithful land."

Her mother loved this song and sang it often. And, as she sang in the tongue that she forgot they couldn't speak, Merida wished to hear it again.

"Sun and moon, guide us to the hour of our glory and honour little baby, our young Lady."

Her eyes had begun to water and she hurried to brush them away. But her voice wobbled with the last words.

"Noble maiden fair."

The boys were silent as they finished, almost as silent as the rest of the room. There was a pause before someone else took up the music and life was breathed once again. They were about to speak, as Aslaug came up behind, sweeping her youngest into her arms and motioning for the boys to follow.

"I'll take him," she said, though her voice was closer to a snap.

Merida nodded submissively, watching as the boys followed her, waving a goodbye.

"Goodnight, Merida," said Ubbe, as he huddled behind his mother.

"Goodnight!" The other two followed him.

"Goodnight, boys," she said, feeling Aslaug's eyes on her. "Remember your promise."

The fire was hot against her face but she was entranced by the flames, held by thought. So much so, that when Bjorn came up from behind to sit next to her, she didn't notice him until his hand was shaking her shoulder. Merida smiled, watching as he shuffled back, his arms slung over his knees.

"That was beautiful," he said, mentioning her singing.

"Thank you." She couldn't say anything else. She still felt the tightness in her chest, the cause of which she didn't know.

"Homesick?"

"A little." She smiled. "I didn't think I'd miss it so much. But I love my family, the distance is telling me as much."

"Do you wish to go back?"

"No, not yet, at least. I will one day, after I've accomplished everything I wish to."

Merida still had so much to do. But how much of it could she list? How much of it did she truly know? Running from a life that was written for her was hard. She was starting new.

"I'm not sure I could do what you're doing."

Hearing him say that made her feel better. Truly?"

"I'm honest. As much as I want to leave and go out, Kattegat is my home. I'd always come back."

Thinking of it, she felt the same about Dunbroch. She had left to avoid her future, but she would always return one day. She couldn't live without.

"Thank you, for saying that."

"Don't think of it." She couldn't stop thinking about it. "What do you want to do? Before you go home?"

"I don't know really. I just want more. I want to travel. To be out there. There's so much that we don't know about," she said.

"One day I'll do the same. Sail the oceans, find new lands. Find somewhere my people could thrive," said Bjorn.

She could remember all that he had said while in Dunbroch. She could remember his prophecy: to marry a princess and sail around the sea. At least one half of it would work out.

"Maybe we could do it together?"

"Together?" He asked.

"Together."

Bjorn nodded. "I think we'd do great things."

"So do I."