Julie's POV

"We need to stop at the foster care" Cheryl said bringing me out of my thoughts

"W-what? Why?" I asked suddenly panicking about going back there

"Relax pet we just need to tell them you're going to be staying with us"

Joan reassured me and I simply nodded going back to my dreamland of a life living with parents who love me, who give me their undivided attention. A mother who cooks me dinner and tells me stories about how she grew up, shows me how to dress up and do my hair and makeup. A father who teaches me how to play sports although I'm rubbish at it, but tries because all he wants me to do is succeed in life. Parents who support me in anything I do. But that'll never happen. I know it won't.

"We're here" Cheryl said looking at me through the rear view mirror. And it suddenly just hit me now.. I really am considered an orphan. I don't know who my parents are. are they dead? Are they alive? what are they doing right now? I got out of the car and froze

"It's going to be okay" Joan said placing her hand on my lower back pushing me to move. We walked over to the building of hopes and dreams at least that's what they used to tell us growing up in this hell hole. We walked through the overly familiar hallway and stopped at the office

"Julie?" asked the receptionist

"Back so soon" she laughed making a joke about the fact my foster parents always bring me back. Although I'd say that I'm a very obedient teenager. I do as I'm told. And I never say my opinion about anything... because it's not my place to speak my first foster parent told me that once when I said I didn't like the way my shoes looked with my outfit, I was 6 at that age and it was my first slap across my face I have received one of many. Ever since then I have never gave my opinion nor have I ever said what I wanted or spoke back.

"Erm.. Sure looks like it" I replied looking at my feet

"I think your bedroom is still available" she said

"Oh no she's not coming here, we've come to inform you guys that she'll be staying with us" Cheryl spoke up

"Wait.. You look familiar" she questioned

"Aghhhh are we ever going to hear the end of it! Yes she's Cheryl Cole and this is her mother Joan" I became frustrated! so what if it's Cheryl Cole! Was it going to make a difference?? I walked away needing minute to myself. No one followed me and I was great full for that. I needed a minute to collect myself, I could feel the sob about to erupt from my mouth. I found myself in the lifeless garden. Dead. Just like my soul. No colors, no plants, no vibrance. Just sad looking. I sat down on a near bench and looked off into the distance and finally let out the awaiting sob. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them crying out onto my knees. I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist bringing me into them. I didn't open my eyes just continued to cry out my pain.

"Shh it's okay" Cheryl whispered into my ear

"N-no it's n-not okay" I sobbed into her chest. She tried her best to comfort me but nothing she could say or do would make me feel better because she didn't know how it felt to be me.

"I-I just don't understand w-why my family didn't w-want me" I spoke to myself while continuing to cry. Cheryl didn't answer and I didn't expect her to. She wouldn't have the answer anyway. She let me cry into her. Eventually my cries died down and I just sat there starring at nothing. I felt numb.

"I don't expect you to take me home with you" I finally said breaking away from the embrace

"But I want to" Cheryl said

"You're just saying that because you feel sorry for me. I'll be fine really.. I don't mind staying back here. Again."

I said

"I don't feel bad for you. So you should stop feeling bad for yourself. Now stop talking nonsense and let's go back to the car before me mam throws a fit at us for taking so long" she nudges my side making me smile and give in. We get up and make our way back to the car. Driving to what I hope would be a better place. A place of hopes and dreams.

**

Julie's POV

"Joan are you going to come visit?" I asked afraid that I wouldn't see Joan again

"Aye pet of course I will" she replied engulfing me into a hug as we walked her to her front door

"Promise" I mumbled against her shoulder

"I promise" she kissed my forehead. That was the first promise anyone has ever made me.

"Bye mam! I'll see you soon" Cheryl said giving her mom a quick kiss and hug. I walked back to the car giving some privacy to talk not wanting to be in their air and space. I sat in the car pressing my face against the window looking out onto the open road. It was lifeless, it felt nice to not see a busy street for once. Peaceful. I didn't realize Cheryl got back into the car until I heard the engine start. But I didn't move I kept my face against the window.. daydreaming just like I always do. I always find myself wondering to a different world I have made up. A world where everything was perfect. But nothing is perfect.. and I know perfect isn't real. But in my world I am happy and that's perfect enough for me.

"What you thinkin' about" Cheryl asked a few minutes into the ride

"Stuff" I replied. I suddenly didn't feel too comfortable around Cheryl with out Joan being there

"You know this car ride is going to be long maybe we can get to know each other" Cheryl said hopefully

"I'm not all that interesting.. trust me" I said finally taking my face off the window and looking at the road ahead of us

"Let's play 21 questions" Cheryl said

"Let me guess I ask you 21 questions and you ask me 21 questions?" I asked never before hearing about this game

"Something like that.. except you don't really have to ask 21 questions" she said

"Umm.. Okay yeah sure I guess.." I said

"Okay I'll go first" she said taking a quick glance at me

"What's your favorite snack?" she asked

"Mm that's a tough one, although I haven't had that much sweets and crisps before I really enjoy Curly Wurly's or chocolate buttons.. Cadbury chocolate is my favorite" I said

"How about you?" I asked

"Funny I love Curly Wurly's they're me favorite candy bar" she replied cheerfully

"Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked and she beamed with happiness

"Nope" she replied bluntly

"So why are you so happy for then?" I asked confused

"Because I've got a girlfriend" she giggled like a teenage love sick girl

"Oh.." I didn't know she was gay

"I'm not gay pet if that's what you're thinking" she said as if she read my mind

"No.. No not at all" I said unconvincingly

"You'll love her when you meet her" she said

"Oh does she live at your house?" I asked

"Yeah" she said pulling off the road and into a fast food restaurant called McDonald's

"What do you want pet?" she asked looking at the menu

"I don't know I've never been here before" I said a bit embarrassed

"You've never been to McDonald's!?" She asked with a shocked face

"Yeah.. is that something bad?" I asked with a shrug

"No it's just I've never known anyone whose never had McDonald's" she said

"Well.. I don't get out much" I said

"I'm going to make this a memorable first experience for you's" she said looking back at the menu

"Hello welcome to McDonald's what can I get for you" the teller asked

"Can I get one of everything on your menu" Cheryl replied

"Cheryl we can't eat all that!" I said and she waved her hands at me to stop being silly

"And can I also get one vanilla milkshake and one chocolate milkshake? and also--" she turned to me

"What's your favorite soft drink?" she asked

"Orange soda" I replied

"And can I get one large orange soda and a large diet coke" she said

"Will that be all?" the teller asked

"Yes" Cheryl replied

"Okay that'll be £200.64 please stop at the first window" and I just stared at Cheryl like she was crazy

"Are you crazy!? £200 for food! we're not even going to eat it all!" I said as she pulled out her wallet

"Oh hush you! it's your first experience I want you to try everything find your favorite" she said handing the money to a shocked employee.. Obviously FanGirling over Cheryl Cole telling her how much she loves her work and blah blah blah. I just rolled my eyes. Cheryl pulled up to the next window to get our enormous order of food. Bag after bag after bag was placed on my lap eventually needing to place some bags over my legs and feet.

"Um.. Where do we start?" I said with a giggle. Cheryl pulled over to the side and turned off the engine

"Try the burger first you'll love it" we began to inhale the food like we haven't had a meal in days

"Mmmm soo good" I moaned out as I started into a chicken burger after having a meat burger

"Try this" Cheryl took off the lid of one vanilla milkshake cup and dipped her French fries into it

"Ewwww" I said looking at her in disgust and amusement at the same time

"Try it" she said dipping a couple pieces of fries into the shake again and hovering it over my mouth for me to open up. I eventually gave in and opened my mouth

"That's actually pretty good.. who showed you how to eat it like that?" I asked after swallowing

"Me girlfriend, I had the same reaction at first as well.. but I love it now" she said repeating and eating her shake dipped fries.

"Aghhhh I've never had so much food in my life" I groaned after finishing my food rubbing my stomach from eating too much

"Mm me neither but it was so good!" she sighed happily

"Maybe we should get rid of these bags" I suggested and she nodded cleaning up the empty, half eaten bags. I went out of the car and threw them into the rubbish bin and hopped back into the car

"We'll leave the rest incase we get hungry on the way" she said

"Highly doubt it, I won't be eating for days" I said making her laugh.. her phone began to ring and her face immediately lit up as she looked at the caller ID

"Hey baby" she said cheerfully

"Yeah I'm good, just came with Julie to McDonald's.. she's never had it before, we got everything on the menu....haha no I didn't eat it all!.. I'm going to be at the gym for days trying to work out all the calories I just had.... aw babe you're so cute...yeah...aw really?... that's sweet...aha...we'll see you soon!... I love you too... bye" and she hung up with a love sick daze on her face

"She said she can't wait to meet you!" She said turning to me

"She seems nice.. how long have you guys been together?" I asked as Cheryl started the engine of the car and drove out of the parking lot

"2 years" she said with her eyes on the road

"How come I've never read you were with a woman before?" I asked

"I'm sure you just didn't read the write magazine, we came out a year and a half ago.. I'm sure we're old news now" she said

"Probably" I said looking out of the window and gazing at the busy streets. Where is everyone going to? it seems like there's always someone trying to get somewhere. It's funny I feel like we live in a world where we are constantly rushing, living life in a hurry.

"Penny for thoughts?" Cheryl said waving one hand infront of my face while the other was still on the steering wheel

"Not really.. Just thinking. Have you ever wondered where everyone is going? it seems like everyone is living in fast paste, always rushing to get somewhere" I said and she quickly glanced at me giving me a dimpled smile

"You think a lot don't you? me girlfriend is just like you, always analyzing everything" she said

"Isn't it good to analyze? I mean if you didn't analyze you'd be making stupid decisions all the time" I said trying to defend myself

"Stupid decisions make good memories" she said

"Yeah.. but stupid decisions can lead to bad memories as well" I replied and that got her to shut up. She looked at the road ahead. I turned in my seat to grab my bag from the back and rummaged through it

"What you looking for" she asked

"Are you always this nosey?" I asked cheekily

"Only on Saturdays.. oh would you look at that it's Saturday" she replied with a wink

"Not funny" I muttered still looking through my bag for my favorite album

"Found it" I said holding the album in my hand and popping the CD into the slot

"What album is that?" she asked

"The Beatles Abbey Road" I said playing my favorite track off the record

"Do you like music?" she asked

"I'm a music junkie" I said

"Music helps the mind wander and escape your present life. That's if your imagination allows you to let go" I added taking her by surprise

"You sound like you write" she said

"And how would you know" I asked amused because I do write

"Just the way you speak that's all" she said looking back at the road

"Yeah I guess" I said closing my eyes and letting the music take me to another world.