Julie's POV

I found myself at school the next morning, I don't even remember getting up and driving myself here. But here I am - once again. Today just felt weird, something about the air was different. Just something. I had yet to speak to Libby, and I wasn't in the mood to see her this morning either.

I walk through the school halls and I can feel everyone's eyes on me, a sad expression playing on their faces. 'What is going on today?' I ignored them and walked myself to my first class to be met by Libby looking ready to fall over and die

"Julie!" She ran over to me - looking close to tears

"What's the matter?" I asked her - suddenly afraid something had happened to her, or her family

"Y-Your Mam Julie" She cried, not being able to finish her words

"My Mam what Libby!? What?" I shook her, it wasn't the time to breakdown - I needed to know what had happened to Mam

"She's in the hospital-" Before she could finish her sentence I was already out of the class, running through the halls - pushing anyone that was in my way. 'She's in the hospital' repeating in my head - if something were to happen to Mam, I would never be the same.

I could feel my heartbeat, I could hear it. Sirens going off in my head as I sped down the motorway, I needed to get to my Mam. I needed to see for myself, I didn't give Libby a chance to explain. I was pressing down on the accelerator as far as it could go - but I wasn't going fast enough, memories flush my mind of the last time we were in the hospital.

Remembering my breakdown, I could feel myself returning to that state - my hands were shaking, I clenched them down around the leather steering wheel; needing to keep my emotions together. I needed to know she was okay.

"Please be okay" I was crying, my tears blurring my line of vision - I quickly wiped them with the back of my hand. Before j knew it I was at the A&E, leaving my car stranded in the middle of the parking lot - still turned on with the keys in the ignition. I didn't care, all I cared about was Mam

"C-Cheryl! Cheryl Tweedy-Walsh?!" I cried to the receptionist - she quickly told me where to go. My legs working on their own as I ran down the white corridors - finding Mum sat crying her heart out on the bench available

"Mum!" I ran to her, instantly taking her into my arms; both of us breaking down - something wasn't right. I felt as if I couldn't breathe.

"Mum what happened?" I said through my tears

"S-She's had a car accident" She sobbed - I couldn't speak anymore. All I could do was cry and pray. I prayed she'd be okay - my prayers were once answered, and I hoped they'd be answered once again. The walls seemed to be louder, they were speaking back to me - yelling at me. Telling me Mam wasn't going to be okay, that she wasn't going to be with me anymore. I believed them, somewhere deep down in me knew something horrible was going to happen

"Shut up! Shut up!" I crumbled down to the ground - curling up into a ball and crying my heart out. I could feel it physically breaking. My throat was closing up, my ears were going numb from my thoughts. Foot steps, I can hear foot steps - they were slower than usually, they weren't rushed. I looked up to be met by a man in white. He cleared his throat - his expression said it all

"NO!" I screamed, shaking my head - his face fell; I didn't want to hear it

"I'm sorry-" He began, I found myself lunging myself at him - beating my fists against his chest

"YOU FCKING BASTARD! YOU F-FCKING BASTARD!" I was in hysterics - he had to hold me down; I was never going to be the same.

"She wasn't going to make it! She lost too much blood!" He shouted at me, I laid there - staring at the ceiling; my tears running down freely. I had lost it; my body had given up

"Mam" I whispered, maybe I thought she would answer me - I was wishing she would come and give me one final cuddle, one final kiss

"Mam" I repeated, that word seemed to be the only word I knew at the moment. Mum was in the same state as me - she sat there staring at the wall in front of her. The doctor stood there not knowing what to say

"We have counseling available" He said in a gentle tone - I was still laid on the ground; moving my eyes to meet his

"Go fck yourself" I gritted my teeth - he sighed sadly and walked away; leaving both of us in a mess

"Mam's going to come back" I whispered through my tears

"She's coming back" my voice cracked, I was trying to breathe - trying to control my sobs; but it was no use

"Mam" I sobbed, curling back into my shell - my heart was aching; I wish it was me. I wish it was me instead of her

"Come on Angel" I heard Mum say weakly

"Mam's coming back?" I asked, she shook her head - tears streaming down her cheek.

"It's just y-you and me" She sobbed, her shaky hand out stretched - begging me to take it. I was too weak to move a muscle; all I could think about was Mam

"Mam?" I said, she lowered herself - taking my hand and pulling me up to my feet; the second she hugged me - I broke down. Both of us held in this tight embrace; crying for the love of someone we would never see again.

"MAM!" I screamed, I needed her to hear me - I needed her to come and save me from this nightmare. Mum's feet began to move, dragging me along with her - slowly exiting the hospital, without Mam. Without my best friend, without my other half. Without the love of my life

**

Julie's POV

Everything seemed to be going in fast pace - suddenly my entire family was sat in our front room - everyone was wearing black. Mum and I were a mess, we couldn't utter a single word, other than Mam and Cheryl. I walked back up to my parents room - nobody in sight as I laid on Mam's side of the bed; needing to inhale her scent. The scent that I would never be able to calm me.

"Mam" I whispered, I had gone crazy - I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to hear anyone. All I wanted was Mam; I even wore her clothes this morning, in hopes to feel her once more. It was the day of the burial - I didn't want it to happen, I didn't want her to leave me. She promised. She promised to always be here for me.

"Julie?" Came Libby's voice

"Go away" My back was to the door, I was looking out the terrace of my parents bedroom as I lay on the bed

"It's time to go" She said gently, everyone has been speaking to me like I was going to break - shatter into a million pieces. I was sick of it.

"Go away" I repeated, she came around - coming into view. She was about to take a seat until I snapped

"Don't you fcking dare sit on Mam's side!" I hissed, my teeth clenched together - my eyes were a dark shade of red from all the crying I had done

"Julie.. We have to go" Her voice was echoing in the room - it felt like a haze. My hand working on its own; allowing her to lead me out of Mam's room and out to the awaiting cars - taking us to the cemetery

"Mam" I whispered, tears streaming down my cheeks - I sit in the back seat; the world passing us. Taking me to a place I never thought I would go again, the one place that takes and never gives. Everyone was there, the media giving us our privacy as they stand as far as. But I couldn't hear or see anyone. All I could see was Mam's closed casket - ready to be lowered down.

"Would you like to say a few words?" The priest asked me, I looked around seeing familiar faces. How did I get here? I was just in the car. I shook my head and walked away - I couldn't see it happening; I couldn't watch them give my Mam away. I sat behind a tree, looking up at the clear sky - the sun was out and shining. It would have been a perfect day, a perfect and happy day. Today isn't a happy day, I will soon follow Mam; because a life without Mam just isn't the type of life I want to live.

The faint sound of people saying their well wishes and leaving one by one brought me back to reality. The sound of cars descending out of the cemetery - leaving me alone with Mam. Leaving me to say a few words privately.

"I'll be in the car waiting for you" Mum said, giving me a kiss and leaving me to it. I sat down on the dirt - resting myself against her grave stone, hugging it tightly

'Cheryl Tweedy-Walsh,

A loving wife, Mother and Daughter.

June 30th 1983 - December 1st 2014'

"Mam.. You promised" I cried, clutching on tightly - almost begging for one of her cuddles.

"Come back" my voice cracked, my eyes closing - the tears staining my cheeks from the cold air. I found myself drifting away slowly - letting the darkness take over. Overwhelmed from all the crying I had done today.