Nothing is like what I sought. It's like no one understood what I really desired when I said I wanted a girlfriend. What was going through Simon's head when he brought Belle and made her sign the contract? My plan wasn't to hire someone to be with me. All I requested from him was to find a hot girl, someone who would be willing to be with me, plus someone who could be my date for the premiere. Of course, I couldn't express my real intentions when the whole contract signing happened. A man has his pride after all.

Moreover, I never expected someone like Belle. Why would they get someone who hates my guts or even the sight of me? That makes no sense. She is really forced to be with me, she's constantly reminding me this is a job for her. I didn't want that. I didn't want any of this but I can't make myself go to Simon and tell him to cancel the contract because the thought of never seeing Belle again makes me angry. Annoying as she might be, mean and dense, I don't want her to disappear from my life because she's the first person who's had the guts to fight back in a while, to stop and tell me what I'm doing wrong. I've felt that no one cares enough for so long and that I can do whatever I want because no one would dare to stop me, but Belle dares. Not only that, she scolds me and even tries to teach me the difference between being considerate and desperate for acceptance.

I think what makes me angry and the reason why I don't want her to leave is because she doesn't like me. She doesn't care about who I am or how famous I am, she just doesn't like me because of the way I act. I know it's kind of twisted, but it's refreshing to know a person is judging you only for the things that you do and not for the person you are. For almost four years, people have treated me with respect and as if I were someone important, and because no one ever gave a damn about me before it feels like they are all a bunch of hypocrites. At first it was nice, then it started to feel fake so I just rejoiced in everyone's attention, knowing it wasn't real. They didn't care about the real me, they just heard my name and cared about status. So I did what the hell I wanted and stopped caring about being a good guy, always nice so people would like me, because I didn't need that anymore. People would like me whether I was nice or a jerk, so I might as well enjoy the ride.

But Belle, that stubborn and proud girl doesn't care about my name, she's not afraid to tell me she doesn't like me and she would give everything to be done with me, and that makes me want her to like me even more. She says I look like I'm desperate for approval and maybe I am, but that is not necessarily a bad thing, right?

So that's why I'm trying with her, I'm actually listening and trying to improve in those areas she says I'm lacking, because I want her to see I'm not just a stuck up jerk. I can learn and I can improve. I won't be the same fool as before, but I can control myself in order to have better relationships with everyone.

I want her to forget this is a job for her, I want her to enjoy her time with me and even miss me when I'm not around anymore. I want her to have fun and stop hating me. And for that I have to be considerate, show her I'm not trying to buy her but just please her because I like her and I want to do something nice for her. So where could she like it? She's not the type that would enjoy a party or a fashion show. I mean, she would do fine but it's not something she'd love. A book release party maybe? That could work, she loves books, after all.

That's why I ask Zayn if he knows of something like this coming up, he's the only one who's into that industry, but he suggests this new exhibition in the Museum Of London and after I think about it I realise Belle would indeed love it. She's that type. I feel a bit annoyed that Zayn has no trouble thinking of a place Belle would love. He's met her once and he seems to know her better.

So I take Belle to this exhibition for our first month together and I'm ready to bore to death. She really needs to acknowledge my sacrifice because there's no way I would go to a place like this unless it's to please someone.

However, I surprise myself when I end up actually having a good time. It's not only that Belle radiates with happiness but also her honest smile makes me feel kind of uneasy, it's also that it is indeed interesting. I mean, everyone knows of Sherlock Holmes, but seeing more about the author and the context when it was written is different. I learn things I never imagined and I even laugh when I read about how the author had to make Sherlock Holmes come back.

I guess fans haven't changed over the years, always so demanding.

And after the exhibition we go for dinner and it continues to be a lovely evening. We don't fight at any point and she doesn't remind me it's a job. Might as well be because I asked her so, but whatever the reason might be, I'm pleased.

Belle is cute. I mean, I've always thought of her as hot even if she has such a difficult personality, but tonight, as I see her getting so excited and hungry for knowledge, with her eyes sparking every time she asks me about the places I've gone and if I've visited famous museums, I feel a bit ashamed. Embarrassed that she seems to know so much about the world even if she has never left the country before whilst I've toured the world but I've barely seen beyond the hotel and the arena.

"You're so lucky, Liam," she says at some point when we're almost done with our dinner. "You get to do what you love and travel the world."

"I'm lucky indeed," I agree because being famous is not only a thing of talent. More talented people are by dozens, so it's also about luck. Being in the right place at the right time.

"Although I think if I were in your shoes, I'd never see the arena," she laughs. "I'd be always sightseeing and getting lost and I wouldn't know how to get back to the hotel on time."

She gives me a cheeky smile that makes her look so cute something changes inside of me, I feel this urge to reach her and hold her tight. And every time she looks at me with a smile on her lips I feel this urge getting stronger. By the time I'm dropping her at her home I can barely control myself not to kiss her senseless.

I know the whole "this is a job" is annoying but maybe I can use it for my benefit. If I want to kiss her, I can because she's legally my girlfriend, right? And if she doesn't want to, then I just have to use the same line she's thrown at me countless times.

"What are you doing?" she asks when I lean in for the kiss because I can't hold myself any longer.

"I'm going to kiss you, what else could I be doing?" I retort and I see her eyes widening, shock and dread written in her features. "Belle, it's my time to remind you that this is your job. You're my girlfriend," I remind her with a cocky smile because her words have backfired on her face now. "It's just normal I kiss you goodnight, plus, you never know who might be watching," I add. More excuses.

"But in this hall no one—"

"You never know," I cut her off because I can't wait or hold myself any longer. All those smiles, all the good time... I just have to kiss her.

But even if I'm the one kissing her, I don't push her or force her, instead I try to coax her. I hold her face softly at first, making sure she can't escape, and then I move one of my arms around her waist when she melts against me, pulling her closer. Her lips are soft and a bit cold, but I keep the contact, I keep inviting her to kiss me back.

When I kiss her a bit deeper, she finally responds and I feel so victorious that I hug her even tighter, kissing her even deeper and a bit more passionately. I've kissed before but it's never been this sweet or gratifying because this is the first time I feel her giving in and I'm sure she's also enjoying it.

After a few seconds I can't think anymore.

I only pull away when I'm scared I won't be able to stop myself from going further, so with a big amount of effort I break the kiss.

"Good night," I tell her and when I notice her breathing hard, her lips swollen and shiny, tempting me to kiss them again. "And happy month-versary."

When she chuckles I can't help myself, I hold her face in my hands and kiss her again, softly and sweetly, delighting myself with her taste.

"Go inside before I leave, that way you won't say I don't have manners," I tell her and she keeps smiling. I pull back so she can step away from the wall where I had cornered her.

"Good night, Liam," she says with her own smile. I stay there, watching her as I see her walking inside, leaving me there, standing alone.

A different smile comes to my lips as I feel my own heart beating and a whole tingly sensation inside. I touch my lips with my thumb, the smirk still there. I can feel the taste of her kiss and there's something I'm certain about now: this won't be the last time I kiss her like this.

"Belle," I whisper, "I won't let you go just yet."

-:-:-

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Thank you so much!
Bel, xx