Shopping sucks. I hate having to go somewhere and trying on clothes. It just annoys me, it's always done. I only go shopping when I have to and if it weren't because of Liam, I wouldn't have to so all my anger goes to him. With every step I can only curse his existence. I feel like buying the worst dress and more expensive one just to piss him off, but then I remember I'll be the one wearing it so I can't do that. I'll wear that in a red carpet with tons of people watching me, judging me. I won't do that to myself.

So yeah, I have to buy a good dress that will make me look good in front of all those people and that will make him look good, too. After all, that's why I signed for, to boost his image. That's why I was picked, that's why my dad thought I could help him. This is not only for Liam, it's for the label, it's for my dad and lastly, for myself.

I don't even have someone to help me endure this. A friend that could make all this bearable. I don't normally regret that I don't have friends, I honestly never mind, but today I wish there were someone who could help me, at least to get a second opinion.

Oh right! Havi. She's not my friend but she can help me. At least I won't be completely alone doing this.

I grab my phone from my purse and look for her contact to call her. Havi is supposedly to take care of us so if I need something I just have to ring her. This is the time to do it.

"Hello?" Havi answers after three tones and I get a bit awkward because I'm calling her for something so stupid as to pick a dress. What am I? An American girl obsessed with prom?

"Hi, Havi," I say with shame. I shouldn't have called her.

"What's wrong, Belle? Did Liam do something?" she asks and that actually makes me chuckle.

"Well kinda, he is making me buy a dress for the premiere and I don't want to. I don't like shopping," I confess and Havi laughs. I don't tell her about the problem before with Liam and the way he worded the request. That's been solved, no need to bring it up again.

"Oh yeah. When are you going?" she inquires next as I keep walking down the street, heading to a dress shop.

"Now. Do you happen to have time to help me out? A second opinion would be great. I know it's shallow and I shouldn't bother you about this-"

"Don't be silly, Belle! I'd love to help you. That's what I'm here for so no worries. Tell me where you are and I'll be there in an instant."

I sigh with a smile. Havi is really nice and she will help me. This wouldn't take too long.

"Thank you. I'll text you the address right now, okay? See you soon."

We hang up and I actually text her where I am now and where I'm heading. I'm still a few blocks away so I'll walk calmly to give her time to get there and that way we can look for a dress together. I have nothing in mind so she'll be of great help. Plus, she knows more about this world of famous people. Surely, she'll know better what I should wear for a premiere.

On my way I walk past a kiosk and I wouldn't normally pay attention to the magazine display there but this time it's different. In this occasion something catches my eye and I can't keep walking. I even grab one of the magazines and wince.

The cover is showing a picture of Liam for Andrew's birthday party and he is not alone, he is dragging me towards the entrance. He smiles cockily whilst you can tell I have no idea what's going on, but that's not what annoys me; it's the fact that I look cheap and easy next to him. The way he holds my hand, the way he walks, the way I stand, everything in that picture shouts fake and bought and I hate that I look like that. I hate that next to Liam I look like a hooker. When I left my home that night I didn't look like that in the mirror but in the picture I actually look like that.

And aren't I a kind of prostitute? I'm being paid to pretend to be his girlfriend. I'm not exactly selling my body because there's no way in hell I'm going to have sex with Liam, but still. This relationship is not real.

I put the magazine back with shame and anger burning in my soul, regretting all the choices that have let me here but what can I do now? I'm already in this mess and getting out of it would only make things worse for me. I don't need that right now.

I wonder if people already noticed that all this is fake. I mean, for me it's crystal clear in the picture and people would have to be blind not to notice it, but then I know it is so maybe for me it's easier to recognise the façade in all this. Maybe for other people it is not that easy.

I look at the magazine and read the headline this time. I only focused on the picture before, but maybe now it would be good to see what the media is actually saying, what all these tabloids are selling.

Liam Payne's New Girlfriend: How long will this last?

Hearthrobe Liam Payne has got new sweatheart

Another member of One Direction out of the market. Two more to go!

Well, so far they are only speaking of Liam. No reference to who I am or how is that we meet. That's a relief. At least they are not calling me the new gold digger or something similar. Maybe inside, I don't know. Or maybe some electronic source is saying the worst possible things. I don't know. I haven't checked twitter in a long time so I wouldn't know what the fans are saying but something tells me it's not good. Maybe they know Liam better and they will know that it's all fake.

I take a deep breath and try to forget this. I try to ignore how cheap I look, how I'm just taking part of something so low as a fake relationship. I wasn't raised to do this, Mum would be ashamed, but then I am doing this to help Dad and I was raised to do all I can for my family.

It literally sucks when your values collide like this.

When I make it to the shop I'm still seeing that picture in my mind. I can't get over how fake and unnatural we looked together. In a normal world there's no way I would've got together with a guy like Liam, someone with that attitude. I don't like cavemen and I know that nowadays' society is fucked up and there are many women who fantasise with a fucked up man who treats them badly, but that's not me. I don't want that kind of sick relationship. That's not a relationship. I don't even want a relationship. I just want peace.

But here I am.

I really think I must've done something horrible in a previous life to be punished like this now. Maybe I killed someone. Or maybe I was a hooker before, a bad hooker, and now I'm paying for my sins.

I don't know! But karma is a bitch.

"Belle!" I hear someone calling and I turn around to see Havi running inside the shop. "Sorry, did I make you wait?" she asks and I shake my head.

"I just arrived here five minutes ago," I tell her and she smiles brightly.

"Great. Have you seen some dresses already?" I shake my head. I've been too busy shaming myself. "Oh, it's okay, I'll help you. What colours do you like?"

"Black? Dark blue?"

"Those are classy, surely we will find something. But also everyone will be wearing something dark so you won't stand out and if you want to help Liam to make an impression, you need to look dashing. Maybe something different. What about yellow?"

I cringe; I can't help it. I hate yellow and when I think of yellow I always think of Belle in The Beauty and The Beast and I hate that story and I hate that I'm always compared to her. If I wear yellow I will only promote that idea and no, I'm not up for that. Not even in a million years.

"Okay, I see... no yellow," she singsongs and I chuckle. She got that. "What about pink?" Havi asks grabbing a pink one. It's cream pink and it's actually cute but no, I don't like it. "Red?"

"I would look more like a hooker," I say without being able to stop myself.

Havi turns to stare at me with a disapproving look. "Don't say that, Belle. You wouldn't look like that and you're certainly not one."

"I feel like one when I see the pictures," I mumble and she approaches.

"Then why don't you try to get along with Liam? So you won't see this so much as a job but more like a favour to a friend? That way you wouldn't feel tense next to him and it would look more natural," Havi suggests and I cringe.

"Have you tried getting on with him? He's impossible! Rude and just horrible," I complain and Havi laughs.

"I know, but deep down he is a good guy, I know it. And maybe you can reach that part of him? I mean, you can at least try, right?"

I sigh deeply. I can try but I honestly think it'll be pointless. I hate that guy but it's true he used to be a good kid. I saw interviews and Andrew said the same. Maybe someone just needs to get his head out of his ass.

"I can try but I still won't wear a red dress," I say folding my arms and Havi laughs.

"Noted."

So we keep looking for a dress. I automatically go for all the dark colour dresses. I actually find some pretty ones, but it's true I don't stand out. I look like anyone would do in a fancy dress. Nothing is amazing.

Havi fetches me some nice dresses, too, very colourful. I reject most of them because they are all so... bright. I wouldn't feel comfortable in something like that. No, I'm not against colours but I'm just not used to wear things like a light green dress.

I'm about to give up with this shop when Havi comes running.

"Belle, Belle I got it! I found the perfect dress. Open up!" she shouts from the other side and I hurry to open, my shirt in my hands so I'm just holding it on top of my bra.

"Havi, chill," I tell her but she's too excited.

"I can't, I can't! I found the perfect dress and I know it's not black but you'll look amazing in this," she says but I can't see anything, she has it hidden behind her back. "Just promise me that you won't reject it for the colour. Just try it on, please?"

"Havi... tell me it's not a red dress."

"It's not! I swear it's perfect for you."

"Okay, let me see it," I request with a heavy sigh and Havi smiles brightly before showing me the dress and my mouth opens. She grabs the skirt to show it better and it actually looks delightful, amazing but I don't know if I would look good in it. "I dunno, Havi. It's not exactly my style-"

"Just try it on, please!" she insists pushing the dress against my hands. The texture is exquisite. "Please?"

I sigh before actually holding the dress along with my shirt. "Fine," I say before turning around and closing the door to actually try the dress. Let's hope Havi is right.

-:-:-

You won't be seeing the dress just yet :D

Dedication to @Heart_of_a_Dreamer. Have a happy birthday tomorrow :D

Bel, xx