May is at the corner of the street and I’m doing my best to move on. I focus a lot on my work and I even hang out with Havi and Ariel because they are the only ones that I can talk to about what I’m feeling and that can comfort me. Ariel released her first music video and it was a very nice one. She barely appeared though, because she is very uncomfortable on cameras, so instead she had a boy and a girl acting what the song is about. The story of Freedom is quite nice and I was really surprised when Ariel told me it’s actually based on a true story about someone I know: Niall and Ella, the girl we ran into the antique shop. She asks me if she could ever write a song about my story with Liam and I just laugh because what could she write about?

“If you manage to write a song about that, then be my guest,” I reply and she smiles confidently.

“I will write one,” she states and I just shake my head because I can’t imagine a song about what happened between Liam and I. Stories? Yes. Songs? Nope.

Ariel is doing great, which means my father is doing great. Zayn’s friend, Terry McCracken, the author he mentioned when before, is getting her book made into a film and Ariel will write the theme song of this motion picture. She’s scared and excited at the same time and I understand her because I read Terry’s book and loved it. Ariel, and Havi alao read it, loved it and now we are waiting for the film, hoping it’ll be a good one.

Liam… Liam is not doing so fine. I saw him at the wedding and he didn’t act like a jerk, but for some reason in front of the media, he is the biggest jerk. He doesn’t get drunk all the time, but he’s rude to them and fans and stays hidden inside his flat. The American leg is about to kick off and I think he’s taking the whole break thing too seriously. But I try not to care too much because it makes it just too hard to move on and I have to. We broke up, we said goodbye so now all I have left to do is move on with my life. This is how it was supposed to be from the very start.

“So you have a date today?” Havi asks me, bringing me back from my thoughts.

“Oh yeah, with a new teacher that joined us a few weeks ago. My colleagues set us up,” I explain. This is just another attempt to move on. “He’s… nice.”

“You sound awfully convinced, Belle,” Ariel comments and I shrug.

“I don’t really know him, that’s what this date is for. Speaking of,” I say looking at my watch. “I should get going unless I want him to think I’ve stood him up. Wish me luck!” I say standing up from the chair at the café where we came together to catch up.

“Have a good date,” they both wish me and I smile at them.

I leave them and head to the restaurant I was told to meet Steven, the guy I’m having a date with. In all honesty, I prefer going home and just reading some books, but he’s nice and is quite handsome, so I should give it a shot. I’ve learnt that I don’t like being isolated and adventures won’t come to me, I need to seek them out. If I want to meet someone that will lift me off my feet then I have to be willing to have some dates. I can’t expect that someone else will request a girlfriend to meet a new guy.

When I make it to the restaurant I look for this blond, skinny guy that started working as a substitute of Sonja, who’s in pregnancy leave. He waves at me excitedly and I join him with a smile.

“Did I make you wait?” I ask and he shakes his head.

A waitress approaches us and hands us each a menu and I just focus on it, taking my time to decide what I want. I’m not paying the slightest attention to Steven.

“So, what are your interests?” he asks me once we make our order. He smiles honestly, nervously and I notice his crooked teeth. I don’t mind people with crooked teeth, but for some reason it bothers me in Steven. Liam had such a lovely smile that made me feel all warm inside.

“Books,” I reply icily and he nods, clearly disappointed that I haven’t expanded more on that question.

“How many books do you read in a week?” he asks next and I wonder if that’s how all this dinner will go, Steven asking question after question because I don’t feel like asking him anything. I’m not interested, to be honest.

“It depends. Four to six,” I answer and he scratches his sideburns. Why does he have sideburns? These are cool when you’re in the Regency era; today they make you look old-fashioned. Liam had an impeccable sense of fashion, and he looked so handsome with a beard. This didn’t even bother me when we kissed.

“That’s impressive. I think I read one book every month. I normally spend loads of time grading and planning my classes, trying to make them as fruitful as possible,” he tells me and I nod. I didn’t ask him about his reading speed.

Why am I so annoyed with him? He’s done nothing wrong but I don’t even know how to keep a casual conversation. Why was it so easy with Liam? Even when we didn’t know how to deal with each other we managed to have meaningful conversations, even if it was me just lecturing him. And then he also showed interested in the things I cared about. He even went to the manifestation in Paris with Zayn in January. He invited me to go with them but I couldn’t, nevertheless I was so proud of him for taking interest and voicing his opinion without me even bringing the issue up. With Liam we could talk for hours without a problem and now I don’t even want to answer Steven’s questions. Do I really have to be forced into a relationship to even try? And why on Earth can’t I stop comparing Steven with Liam?

Liam’s hair was more beautiful, so shinny and soft.

Liam’s smile was cuter and warmer.

Liam’s laughter was more adorable.

Liam’s touch was so electrifying and soothing at the same time.

Liam’s eyes were also so intense and transparent, letting me know exactly what he wanted and what he was thinking once I learnt how to read them.

Nothing in Steven is desirable, he can’t even compete with Liam and I don’t even think I can move on. I can only think of that boy I was forced to tolerate and for whom I fell so hard.

Oh God… is that why I can’t stop comparing Steven to Liam? Why I’m so annoyed right now? Is it because I’m in love with Liam and I refuse to give someone else the slightest chance? I know my feelings for him are strong, but are they that strong as to say I love him?

I can’t believe I actually fell in love with him, with the beast of the bloody fairy tale. Why is life so ironic? But it’s not exactly like in the story. A kiss won’t turn him back because he wasn’t really a beast. He was just a lost boy that found himself. True love didn’t change him; I didn’t love the person he was. I fell for the person behind the jerk. As I’ve always believed, love doesn’t change a person, only one’s self can change if one wants to change. I guess Liam wanted, tried and showed me the real him and I fell for that.

Okay, that leaves me more at ease. I would’ve hated if it was like in the fairy tale just because I hate it. Plus, there’s no Gaston threating his life or mine to make Liam stand up for me. That’s good, though, because if someone were actually threatening his life I don’t know what I would do, but I’m sure it would be ugly and hurtful. If someone threatened Liam I would fight harder than the Beast.

Blimey, I really love him.

I laugh humourlessly because I realise the magnitude of my real feelings too late. I didn’t even tell him and now it’s over. We walked away from each other and we’re moving on. I guess this is why fairy tales don’t exist, because happy endings are not granted just because you love each other. If you want a happy ending, then you must fight with all you’ve got to make it happen and even then I don’t think you ever finish fighting. It’s a constant battle. But I waved my white flag already when I accepted Simon’s request. I didn’t even fight for the happy ending.

“What’s so funny?” Steven asks and only then I remember I’m on a date with him.

“Oh nothing, I just realised I’m still in love with my ex. That’s all,” I say and his eyes widen in shock.

I bet he’s regretting this date, but probably not as much as I regret giving up so easily. One thing is to avoid conflict, another very different is to give up  what I want because it might be difficult. Because it will be difficult.

Steven looks so uncomfortable and I feel a bit bad for him, but it’s better to set things straight from the beginning. I hate pretending now.

The rest of our evening goes in silence. I don’t even bother making small chat and he gave up too, learning that it was a lost battle after I said that. We leave the restaurant in the same awkward silence and instead of a quiet goodbye in front of the restaurant, we face a mini mob of teenagers and some paparazzi. What is it happening here?

“Belle, is this your new boyfriend?” I hear someone asking. “Is he the reason you dumped Liam?” another questions and I blink in confusion. I was never bombed with questions before and when paparazzi surrounded us, Liam was always with me.

I look for Steven but he’s not around, he left and I didn’t even notice.

“Did you cheat on Liam?”

“Is that why he’s so bitter and depressed?”

“For how long have you been cheating on Liam Payne?”

“Did he dump you when he learnt you are a cheating whore?”

“What?” I stutter, too shocked by the course of these accusations. I never confirmed anything and they just assumed that I did in fact cheat on Liam with Steven, when that’s the most absurd thing because it’s my first and only failed date with Steven. “No!”

I know I shouldn’t reply because that will only make things worse, but I can’t stop myself.

“You dumped him to be with your new boyfriend then? For how long have you been a two-timer? Did he know you were also with Liam Payne?”

I’m getting dizzy with all the false accusations and I don’t have anyone to hold me. I want to scream for Liam’s name, to help me to deal with this situation because it’s the first time it’s happened like this and I’m just too disorientated.

“Whore! Cheating whore!” a chant starts and I just blink, shaking my head. I step backwards but they keep cornering me and I end up bumping into more girls. Where did they come from? How did they find out I was here? I don’t understand what’s going on.

I cover my ears to block them and clear my mind. I can’t think with all of them yelling at me so I push through them, running away like a coward. Their words are just fallacies, I don’t care about them. It was just the shock and the poison in them that startled me. I just need to put distance to collect myself and forget this ever happened.

Oh God, is this what Liam has to face all the time? Is this how he’s been harassed lately? Why haven’t I been there to protect him or stop them? If I had stayed with him the paparazzi wouldn’t have harassed him with questions like these… but they would’ve found something else, right?

Liam, my poor Liam, I’m so sorry.

-:-:-

The next one is the last chapter, after that just the epilogue and then we START THE NEW STORIES I AM SO EXCITED! And who knows, if you read It's Just Ann old characters might make appearances. who knows? I KNOW! hehehehehe 

Bel, xx

PS: why isn't anyone commenting that I'm using gifs again? ¬¬'