Does Liam call me? No. Does he text me? No. What does he do? He goes back to the jerk I met six months ago, causing scandals at different clubs, doing reckless things, insulting people and treating them as if they were beneath him. Every time I see him on a new tabloid I feel both hurt and disappointed. I usually grab my mobile, ready to call him but I end up convincing myself that it’s over and I owe him nothing.

I thought once the contract was over, I would be done with Liam and his world, but paparazzi have approached me asking me about Liam. I do as Havi instructed, saying I have no comments about it. I see girls glaring at me at school and mumbling things about how big of a bitch I am for breaking up with Liam. They blame me for the way he’s acting and every time, I feel like stopping them to remind them of how he behaved before I met him. I didn’t change him into this; he came back to his horrible ways on his own. I didn’t bring back the beast; he did it. But again, I tell myself the contract is over, I have nothing to do with Liam, and I shouldn’t even let the rumours affect me.

I hold on to Ariel’s single, Freedom, even if I avoid the girl, because this wonderful track that’s doing amazing is the reason why I accepted the deal, why I put up with Liam. It helps me remind myself that I did the right thing every time I regret signing that contract that forced me to interact with Liam, to tolerate him until I understood him and fell for him.

I try to shut everyone out so I don’t have to be reminded of Liam because it hurts. I prefer to be angry with him, that way I can cope with this more easily. But I can’t escape him and his world. It follows me everywhere. In six months, we created too many memories to just pretend like nothing happened. I see my books and I think of him. I see the necklace he gave me and I feel like my knees will give under my weight. And I still wear the charm bracelet he gave me! I can’t take it off and I scold myself every morning, but I just can’t go out without it.

Three weeks after Liam and I broke up—I can’t call it something else because no matter what the context was, it felt like we broke up—I receive a call I wasn’t expecting at all.

“Hello?” I say, picking up the phone out of curiosity and worry more than anything else.

“Belle! Thank God you picked up. How have you been? Are you doing fine?” Ruth questions, and I blink away the confusion.

“Y-yes, I’m doing fine. Is everything okay?” I ask because I don’t know why she’s calling. It’s been made official that Liam and I broke up, his family surely knows about it, too.

“Are you really doing fine? Liam is not and I’m worried you’re not fine either. He doesn’t wanna tell us what happened exactly,” she sighs and I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“It didn’t work out, Ruth. We’re too different, the distance weighs too much on us and it’s just better if we go our separate ways,” I explain, following what has been said and what Havi told me to report.

“But you two are so good together. I mean, he was the boy I always knew when he was with you,” she explains and I have to press my lips in a tight line, fighting the memories of Christmas day, when we went to visit his family and had a wonderful time together.

“It’s not always enough,” I continue.

“It’s such a pity, Belle. We all agree that there’s no better girl for Liam than you. We’re very sorry, really. I don’t think Mum will love another girl more than she loves you.”

I don’t know whether to laugh, complain or cry at what she says. Her words stir something inside that makes this all the more painful to me because I’m lying. That’s not why we broke up and if they knew they would be so disappointed both in Liam and I. Karen would hate me for lying to her. Ruth would never call me again if she knew it was never real, that I was hired to be Liam’s girlfriend.

“Anyhow, Belle, I’m calling not just to tell you how sorry we are, but also to ask for a big favour,” she changes topics and I furrow my brow, confused. “My wedding is next Saturday and you’re officially invited. I would send you an invitation, but Liam refused to give me your address.” My eyes widen in shock when I hear her. “And I’m calling to beg you to come, Belle. Please. Liam is… he’s acting so volatile lately and I’m afraid he might cause a scene again. He’ll come, but I’m scared. You can actually control him and I think he’ll behave himself if you’re around. I know if might be awkward and very uncomfortable for you, but I beg of you. I can’t risk having something go wrong this time.”

I sigh because I can hear her desperation and my guts twist. I know I should refuse, that this is a horrible idea. I’m not ready to face him and a part of me is so hurt he never called. He went after me the day we broke up, but he didn’t reach me and didn’t even try later. He didn’t give me a chance and I’m sure he now knows he should’ve listed to me first instead of just insulting me. But the real reason why I can’t see him yet is because I’ve missed him so much. I’ve felt incomplete all this time and I don’t even know how I’ll react when I see him. I don’t know if I’ll run away or towards him, if I’ll slap him or kiss him. I can’t predict my own behaviour and that scares me.

“I don’t know, Ruth. I don’t think it’s wise. We broke up so recently and I just… I don’t know,” I mumble, not knowing what to do with my hands.

“Please,” she begs. “Please, please, please, Belle! I swear I wouldn’t ask you this if I weren’t so scared. You saw what happened at the rehearsal dinner party. What if he gets drunk again and says all the things he’s bottled up inside?”

I freeze, thinking of the day we broke up. He said all those things because he was drunk. He lost his filter and said what he thought without even minding or weighing the consequences. He did the same at the rehearsal dinner party and he could do it again.

Oh God. What if he confesses right there that him and I were never real? That we fooled them all? That Ruth should be careful because Arthur might be pretending, as well? It would be the worst way to confess our lies, but that’s exactly what he’s been bottling up and what would escape his lips if he gets drunk, especially with his family. Especially when Ruth is marrying someone who loves her with all he’s got. He could get jealous or angry and that would be really dangerous.

He might not do anything, but he might also ruin his sister’s most important day like he did with the dinner party. I couldn’t stop him then, I triggered that and I can’t let that happen again. If I have to go to that wedding and confess what really happened, even my real feelings so he won’t cause a scene, I guess it’s my duty. It’s my way to repay Ruth for what I caused that night. Liam is not the only one at fault for that evening.

With a deep sigh I say, “Okay. I’ll go.”

“Oh my God, thank you so much, Belle! Thank you, thank you!” I think she’s about to cry and I chuckle because I don’t know what else to do. “Thank you so much. If I can ever do something to repay you for this, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll be in your debt.”

“It’s okay, Ruth. Maybe it won’t be that terrible,” I suggest but not even I can buy my own lie. I know it’ll be difficult to see him then. “But can I ask you something regarding that?”

“Whatever you need!” she hurries to say and I smile at her good disposition.

“Please, don’t tell Liam I’m going, okay?”

“Oh… but wouldn’t it be better if he knows already?” she questions out loud and I sigh.

“Maybe. But in case he takes a date that day, I don’t want him to stop himself for me,” I lie because I honestly don’t believe he wouldn’t take a date to the wedding for me. In fact, if he knew he would probably take someone.

“Oh…” she mumbles again. “But… don’t you think you could talk that night and maybe sort things out? It’d be perfect if you can overcome your differences the same day I get married,” she daydreams and I feel the hole in my chest getting bigger.

Women normally want their wedding to be all about themselves, but Ruth is willing to share the day and her happiness with Liam and I. She’s a good woman, which is even more reason to help her during her wedding, even if it’s extremely hard for me.

“I don’t think that’ll happen, Ruth, but just in case, okay?”

“Okay,” she agrees but I know she doesn’t like my request. She wants Liam and I to get back together but that won’t happen. No matter how the things ended between us, I still made a decision based on his boss’s request, looking after Liam’s career.

“Thank you, Ruth,” I say with a little smile on my lips.

The real reason why I don’t want her to tell him is because maybe the surprise will sober him up and if he doesn’t get drunk or threatens Ruth’s wedding, then maybe I can hide and he’ll never find out I was ever there. There are many guests and I’m short, I can surely hide behind some huge man or under a table if the situation calls for such a desperate measure.

“No. Thank you, Belle for agreeing to this. I’ll see you on Saturday, then. If you need anything, just call me.”

“I’ll need the address and time for the wedding. I never got to see the new invitations,” I tell her in a light mode, just pretending, of course.

Why am I so good at pretending? Why is this very action causing me so many problems? Things should be simple, not this damn confusing.

“Oh, sure thing, Belle! I’ll text you all the information, okay? You’ll love the new venue. It’s not the one I always dreamt of, but it’s equally lovely and now Liam can be present, so I guess everything was for the better in the end,” she says but her voice trembles a bit and that gives her away.

If I hadn’t mentioned the contract back then, Liam wouldn’t have caused a scene and Ruth would be a married woman today. But I did mention the contract and now she’s marrying in a venue that wasn’t the place she always wanted to get married in. I owe her this, I really do.

Contract, contract, contract. I always come back to that. Even I hate that word now. I think I understand Liam so well and how much he must’ve hated it when I couldn’t stop bringing it up just to keep the walls between us and then to build them up again.

“Thank you one more time, Belle,” Ruth says and I nod, even if she can see me. “I’ll see you soon!”

“Good luck and I’ll see you at your wedding. Send my greetings to your family!” I say before I can bite my tongue.

“Oh, they’ll be happy to hear from you. Goodbye!”

I bid her goodbye and hang up, feeling so heavy and dreadful. It’s Tuesday, which means I have four days before I meet Liam. I am so not ready for it. And I now I have to find a new dress and that only reminds me of all those other times I did the same for Liam.

Oh God, I really can’t escape him and now I’ll see him on Saturday. What am I going to do then?

I’m so scared but at the same time I want to see him because I’ve missed him so much. His voice. The warmth of his arms wrapped around me. His goofy smile. Even his arrogant smirk. I miss him so much and that’s even more terrifying that the thought of actually seeing him.

I hope things go great for Ruth and she has the perfect wedding. But I have a feeling that things will go terribly wrong between Liam and I. I don’t believe things can go well, though. Either way it’s going to be disastrous.

I guess it’s time to listen to Freedom again because I’m regretting ever signing that contract so much.

-:-:-

On the multimedia a verison of Freedom written and performed by the talented Christine, so this chapter is dedicated to her.

Bel, xx

PS: I'll update on Wednesday, unless you get 2K votes before that. If you can't, don't worry, by that day the chapter will be up.