We continue watching what the antique shop has to offer and Liam never lets go of my hand, and I really don’t mind. I enjoy the contact not only because my hands are cold, but also because it feels good. Furthermore, I think he needs it because even if he smiles and talks to me, he still looks kind of angry. I don’t know if it’s wrong of me to feel happy because I see him like this, caring so much that he can’t just let it go. I didn’t think Liam was capable of something like this.

“Are you going to tell Niall you saw Ella,” I question as offhandedly as I can, not even looking at him, my eyes are focused on appreciating an old music box.

But I feel him tensing, I feel his grip on my hand getting tighter and that makes me look at him. His expression is serious and I can tell he’s really thinking about it.

“I dunno,” he replies. “I think knowing I saw Ella here would throw him back and all what he’s done to move on would be for nothing.  I’m afraid he would come here every day with the hope to find her and convince her to take him back.”

“But what if he really moved on and he’ll just be happy that she’s doing well?” I propose as an alternative and Liam frowns. “Maybe he doesn’t love her the same way anymore and he doesn’t want to get back with her. You said she broke up with him. I think Niall is bright and he would understand he can’t force a person to be with him. Maybe there’s an important reason for her to stay away. We don’t know that,” I continue and he keeps his eyebrows furrowed. “Think about it. Sometimes, love is not enough to make a relationship work. When the people involved are not ready for commitment, the relationship is doomed. Sometimes people need to find themselves first before being with someone else.”

“Can’t you find yourself when you’re with the person you love?” he asks and I know he really means it, he really wants to know.

I shrug. “I guess someone could, but it’s quite difficult. When you’re with someone you tend to adapt, that’s what humans do. You try to make it work, and if you don’t know yourself enough then it’s easier to get lost. For a solid relationship both partners need to be stable on their own as well, otherwise the whole thing will crumble. Think of it as a house. If the foundation is weak because one of the materials wasn’t strong enough, then the house will crumble at the first earthquake or storm.”

Liam stays in silence for a moment, thinking and I wonder what exactly is on his mind to have such a serious expression.

“Do you think that’s why my previous relationships haven’t worked out? I’ve been told that I become too much like them and they can’t see the guy they fell in love with anymore,” he questions and my eyes widen.

I look at him and think of all the things I know about him. It’s very likely considering his tendency to please everyone around to make sure they accept him. He also tends to act like the people he hangs out with. Not in the sense how you change when you are with your family and when you’re with your friends, it’s different, it’s more like he imitates certain traits from his friends.

“I guess. Remember what I told you about not being what I want? It’s something like that. If you change to be like me or what I would like you to be, just to please me, then you’re just faking. It’s better to find common ground even if it’s small instead of imitating the other person. I guess is a fine line and it’s hard to see, but if you think about it and pay more attention, you’ll realise the difference,” I explain hoping it’s clear enough to make him understand. I know it sounds a bit confusing.

“So I have to be myself but without imposing my own preferences, instead I should try to find those aspects we both like,” he tries and I nod.

“Precisely. For instance, I love that you brought me here for a change, but I wouldn’t like it if I knew you’re having a hard time and you’re just doing this for me. I rather you take me somewhere I might not love as much but where you could also have a bit of fun.”

Liam stays silent for a few moments, watching me intently and I try to smile. It’s not difficult to be nice to him or caring when he’s being honest and we listen to each other. Even if I push myself to be like this because I know I’m pretending to be his girlfriend, it’s not that hard to show affection when I see him like this. Actually, it’s easier for me to be like this, it’s less exhausting. I feel like the two of us are working on making this work as smoothly as possible now, like it should’ve been from the beginning.

With my other hand I grab his and then put both of his together and wrap them with my small ones. I can barely do this, but I try, then I raise them to my lips and give him a kiss on his knuckles. This reminds me of the final scene in North and South, when Margaret kisses Mr Thornton’s hands. When I look at Liam his expression shows the surprise my actions have brought upon him.

“You don’t have to pretend to be like someone else and you don’t have to supress who you really are because people’s acceptance is overrated. You don’t need the world to love you when you can have one person who really accepts you and loves you,” I tell him because I feel this is really the problem with Liam. The reason why he acts like he does, why he changes so easily and gets so annoyed when I don’t accept his superficial ways.

“What if no one accepted me as I am? What if no one wanted me as I was?” he questions but I shake my head.

“Don’t be foolish, Liam. You have a wonderful family and I know for certain they have always accepted you and they love you to death. Even if you don’t have anyone else, you do have them. Don’t take them for granted.” I see him swallowing hard so I smile as kindly at him as I can. “And I’m sure more people would really accept you if you show them who you are and not what they want to see.”

“Would you accept me if I showed you that?” he questions ever so softly and I stop to think about this, putting aside the whole contract thing. I pretend we are not in this situation, that we are just two strangers meeting for the first time.

“When you’re like this, Liam, I really like you. Even if it makes you look vulnerable, it shows your humanity. When you’re all pompous and, well, a jerk I see you more like a beast than as a human,” I chuckle at my own wording but I don’t think he understands why I find this so ironic. “It’s good to know the jerk is not who you are but just a side of you. It means it can be controlled.”

His eyes bore into my very soul, making me feel weak inside and like there’s not enough air in the shop. I swallow hard when one of his hands escapes my grip and cups my face tenderly, his thumb caressing my cheek and sending chills down my spine. Then he takes a step closer, our hands trapped between us and I don’t move when I see him leaning down, his face getting closer to mine. I hold my breath and close my eyes when I notice he’s leaning for a kiss and instead of stopping him, I wait.

His lips are finally on mine, soft and warm, tender and careful, and the hand he keeps on my cheek makes me tilt my head a bit so we can kiss more comfortably. I kiss him back without reservation, finding the taste of his lips familiar and sweet, but then I remember we’re still in the shop and pull back before this turns a bit more heated. Plus, that’s not appropriate not only for the place but also our situation.

“Just for your information,” he says with his forehead pressed against mine, his hand still cupping my cheek and keeping me close. I feel his breath tickling my lips and I have to wet them with my tongue because they feel so dry now that Liam is not kissing me. “I’m really enjoying this place, so I’m glad I brought you here. It has very interesting things.”

“I know right?” I reply, smiling brightly. “Wanna be like in one of those films and try the hats and clothes?”

Liam chuckles and as our bodies are pressed together, except for that point where our hands got trapped between us, I feel his chest vibrating with laughter against mine and it feels quite exquisite.

“Let’s do that,” he says but he kisses me one more time, slow and softly, before pulling away.

He keeps one of my hands and we go to that section where there are many old hats and coats. I grab a large hat with a feather and try it on and face Liam, posing for him and he smiles.

“Not bad,” he says grabbing a bowler hat for him and I chuckle, especially when he starts to make weird faces.

I hand him a fur coat that looks so extravagant I doubt someone could ever wear it. But Liam tries it on and I laugh out loud at him, and he keeps posing and making silly faces. Then he picks one for me that is like five sizes larger so I’m swimming inside it, and that makes Liam laugh this time.

We keep trying hats and other things we find, playing along, acting and trying to make impressions. At some point he tries one coat that is also too big for him. “I bet we both fit in this!” he says and then looks at me before grabbing my arm and pulling me next to him. Next thing I know we’re both inside the coat, his arms wrapping me tightly and the sides of the coat keeping me warm. “I told ya,” he laughs, his mouth on my ear and I wrap my own arms around his waist, accommodating against him.

He nuzzles my neck with his nose and I shiver in his arms, unable to control my body’s reaction to Liam’s proximity. Then his lips are on my jaw, dropping small and warm kisses and I find myself squeezing the fabric of his jumper. I breathe in and his scent fills my nostrils, making me feel a bit dizzy but not because it’s a nauseating smell. On the contrary, it smells too good. I find myself burying my face in the crock of his neck as I feel him hugging me even tighter; he hides his face in my hair, his breathing tickling my ear. It’s getting hard to breathe, but I don’t want to move. I didn’t know someone’s embrace could feel this good.

I surprise myself when I’m the one looking for his lips, wanting to kiss him. I’m the one that initiates the kiss, not just a peck that surprises him, a real kiss that leaves me breathless. It’s because I really need to catch my breath that we step away, almost panting but we both wear goofy smiles on our lips.

“We’re really putting on a show here. I think the owner is getting uncomfortable,” I say and Liam turns around to look at the owner who’s actually watching us with a grimace.

“Oops,” he says and I chuckle. “Let’s buy something so he doesn’t think we just came to snog here.”

I feel a bit embarrassed because it’s the truth, that’s mostly what we’ve done here. We’ve also talked about important things, I’ve got to know him a bit more, but we still have snogged quite a lot.

Oops indeed.

We take off the coats and put ours back on before he grabs my hand and leads me to the bookshelf. Then he grabs the book I held before, the one with Austen’s complete works and my eyes widen.

“Liam,” I start but he shakes his head.

“Just this one, so you can remember this day. We’ve had fun, haven’t we?” he says and I can’t lie, so I nod. “Come on, let me give you something you love. I wanna see you happy, Belle. That makes me happy, as well.”

I smile and give up. I’m not the type who buys presents all the time or who thinks these mean something, but I know some people actually enjoy being able to give presents to the people they are close to. This is how Liam is, I can’t stop him from wanting to give me a book. And I guess it’s okay as long as he doesn’t go crazy buying things for me, even if these are books. They would lose meaning.

We go to the owner and buy the book that he then wraps. Once Liam has it back in his hands he turns to look at me with a big smile on his lips. “For my beautiful and very wise girlfriend,” he says and I bite my tongue not to remind him that I’m not really his girlfriend. I think I got used to reply like that and now it comes naturally. But I don’t want to ruin this day, so I accept the book with a smile of my own.

“Thank you, Liam,” I reply and kiss his cheek softly.

His smile widens and then he takes my hand and we walk out the shop, but the date doesn’t end there. He then takes me to eat to a restaurant of Thai food he heard of and wanted to try. So the rest of our date is as nice as it’s been so far. We laugh a lot, especially when Liam can’t handle the spicy food.

I haven’t had many dates and most of them have been with Liam, but this has to be my favourite one so when he has to drop me at home because it’s late, I hug him honestly.

“I really had fun today, Liam. Thank you,” I tell him with my face buried in his neck.

“Me too, Belle. Now you enjoy that book while I’m gone, okay?” he says and I nod. He has to leave again in two days to continue the tour, now with the southern part of the UK.

“Will do, sir,” I say and pull back a little just to look at him. He cups my face with one hand, the other on the small of my back. “Drive home safely and text me when you get home,” I say and his eyes shine with emotion. This is the first time I’m showing concern for him, but what can I do? Even if it’s fake I can’t help growing a bit attached to him. Especially after today. I don’t want him to crush and die on his way back home.

“Will do, miss,” he replies with my same words and I chuckle but this dies when his lips are on mine, kissing me goodbye, this time more hungrily as we are alone in the hall in front of my door.

The hand he kept on my cheek goes to my back and he hugs me tighter, lifting me a bit as I hold on to him for dear life and kiss him back without minding that we don’t even have a reason to be kissing here. There’s no one we need to pretend in front of or anything like that, but who am I trying to fool? I actually like Liam’s kisses and the way he holds me and that is not something bad. He’s a good kisser, why would I reject a small pleasure if he’s willing to give these kisses away?

We pull back when we can’t keep holding our breaths any longer and when I feel him pulling coat as if this one bothered him.

“Goodnight, Liam,” I say still breathing heavily.

“Goodnight, Belle,” he replies and kisses my lips one more time before I turn around and open my door to lock myself inside.

I’ll go to bed, I won’t think of anything right now. Rest. That’s all I need. I won’t open that door and look for him to kiss him again. No. I won’t do that. I’ll go to bed. Yes. Bed. Now.

-:-:-

Fluff, fluff! Loads of fluff to come. Get ready for the feels!

Bel, xx

PS: 1.5K votes again for a new update :D