I'm not really sure what's happening here but I'm aware that I don't want it to stop and I really don't want to think about the meaning of my actions either. I'll probably feel very disappointed in twenty minutes, but as in right now, I couldn't care less. There's something addictive in the way he's holding me so tight, and the taste of his lips. The first time he kissed me he was drunk, the others were too fast as to taste anything, but now... now it's so different I can't even find the right adjective. Plus, it's not like my brain is working at the moment.

I hold on to him for dear life, the thought of pulling back doesn't even cross my mind, we only break the kiss to take another breath and carry on. I'm not conscious of anything else around me, that until I feel the cold wall at my back and I realise Liam has pushed me against this, so I'm trapped between concrete and his warm body. I don't even feel suffocated but it is getting hot, really hot.

He is the one who finally pulls back, his hands now on the wall behind me, his arms caging me. We are both breathing heavily and his eyes are boring into my soul, my heart is beating so hard it actually hurts and I think I'm shaking, but I'm not sure yet.

"Good night," he breathes out, a smirk coming to his lips. "And happy month-versary," he adds amused, making me chuckle before he grabs my face in his hands and kisses me one more time, slowly and carefully.

He pulls back and painstakingly takes a step back, putting the necessary distance between us.

"Go inside before I leave, that way you won't say I don't have manners," he laughs and that makes me chuckle again.

"Good night, Liam," I say with my own smile, standing straight and away from the wall, which turned to be my door.

I do as he instructed and go inside, once I close the door I press my back against it and take a deep breath. The realisation of what I've done is here, pushing me down but I fight it. Fight it. Fight it. I won't let it bug me yet or I won't sleep and I need to sleep. I control my mind and I'll think about what I did when I'm ready for it, which is not now.

•••

There are many ways to keep your mind busy and avoid certain topics. A book, exercise, work, a film... uff, plenty of ways! But sometimes said topic is just too strong and demanding and there's no book on Earth that could keep your mind away from it. And it seems that what happened with Liam last night is one of those topics because no matter how much I try to focus on work, flashbacks of that kiss come to my mind, startling me. When I let my guard down I feel my heart racing at the memory and by lunchtime I can't even think of eating.

I can't believe I actually kissed him back, and not only that, I actually enjoyed it. I didn't feel cheap or like it was a job at all. Not even for a second I remembered that I'm only pretending to be his girlfriend; that we don't share any kind of feeling at all. I just kissed him and let him kiss me senseless. How could've I done something like that? Seriously, how's that I allowed that to happen? I know he was really nice to me yesterday and we had a good time, that he's trying to behave like a gentleman and all, but that shouldn't be reason enough for me to forget how things really are and let my body take the lead.

What am I, a hormonal teenager? I'm way past that age.

I'm seriously disappointed in myself for acting like that. I know kissing is part of being the girlfriend, but I didn't need to kiss him like that, just a peck on the lips was enough. Now I'm concerned he'll think he can do this again, that we can just snog as if we were a real couple. If it happened once, it could happen twice but I can't let that happen. I can't allow myself forget what this really is, because if I do I'll be at his mercy.

He said he didn't want more work and this isn't a job for him, it's just an easy relationship. For me it's a job. We are not at the same level even if we are 'together'. I can't get confused.

"Get your act together, Isabelle Reed," I tell myself sitting straight and taking deep breaths. "Don't let him drag you. You didn't sign that contract for an easy relationship. You don't want any kind of relationship. A job, it's a job. You're helping your father. That's all," I continue scolding myself.

Saying it out loud makes it more real and I can do that here in my classroom during lunchtime, I picked this place for that purpose, to clear my act and organise my thoughts.

I take another breath and another and another until I feel calm and collected. Only then I can concentrate on my work again and other tasks I have at hand until the day is over. At least until Liam calls me, and when I see his contact on my screen, I get nervous.

"Hello?" I answer, nonetheless.

"Hello, Belle," he says in a happy tone as I walk away from all the other teachers in the room. Classes are over but we teachers always have to stay longer. "The rehearsal dinner is this weekend and I was wondering if you have the dress ready."

"I haven't settled that yet. Today when I get home I'll see if I have one, otherwise I'll buy it," I inform him in a very serious, business-like tone.

"Well, if you decide to buy one, would you let it be my treat?" he asks next and I'm surprised. I have to fight the smile creeping to my lips because I really gave him less credit than he deserves. He is clever after all and he's learnt from all the mistakes he's made with me. He's not imposing this time or actually buying me, it's a different approach.

"As a way to thank you for coming with me, you know," he adds and I can't help it this time, I smile because he's really learnt that lesson. It's so different from that time he wanted to buy my dress for the premiere. I really thought it would be harder to get him acting considerate. Maybe he just needed someone to yell at him for being an ass. Maybe everyone was allowing him to get what he wanted without further complaint, which surely made his attitude worse.

He really is like a kid, then. A kid that needs to be taught how to behave or he'll end up being spoilt.

"Thank you, I'll consider it," I reply and I have a hunch that he is smiling on the other end.

"And I could go with you," he offers but I don't reply. I don't know if I can see him yet. "Or I can tell Havi to go with you if that's more comfortable for you," he adds noticing my hesitance.

"That would be better," I reply and I think I hear a sigh. "And don't worry, I'll call her if I need to buy a dress after all."

"Okay," he agrees but sounds more defeated this time. I don't give much thought to that particular reaction.

"Liam, I still have some planning to do so I'll let you know later how things go. I'll see you on Saturday. Do you need to meet somewhere?"

"I'll pick you up in the morning. The dinner is at night so it's fine if we arrive at lunchtime. I'll let you know the exact time," he indicates and I nod. "Work hard, I'll see you later."

"Bye!" I chirp before hanging up, I don't even wait for his reply. I take a deep breath wondering if it was better when he was just an ass. It certainly did things less complicated, even if it doesn't seem like it.

I go back to work and once I'm done I go home, looking for a dress but nothing seems appropriate. I end up calling Havi to ask her to come with me tomorrow sopping and she agrees immediately. She says she feels bad because every time she calls Liam to organise something he says he'll take care of it so she ends up doing nothing. Havi is actually ecstatic that she has something to do because she was starting to feel useless and like she was getting paid for nothing.

On Friday, after I finish work, we meet and she tells me, "I actually thought I'd have to do everything at first, but Liam doesn't let me do anything now!"

I chuckle but I don't let the information just pass by, I'm actually surprised that it's like that, that's he's taking care of everything instead of letting Havi do her work, for what she's getting paid.

"By the way, how are things going with him? You haven't called to complain either, but I don't know if that's because you're a tough cookie or things are going fine," she muses as we navigate through the shop, trying to find a dress I could wear. Of course, every yellow dress is discarded, no matter how pretty it is. It's just a rehearsal dinner so it doesn't have to be that spectacular, just formal and nice, but I'm also meeting his family and I can't just wear anything.

I catch myself in that train of thoughts. It's not like I'm his real girlfriend, I have no reason to be nervous. But then I don't know if they are aware this is all a scam or if he is also fooling them. I know that for a lie to be believable the fewer people know, the better. I have to ask him about it.

"Things are better. He doesn't get on my nerves all the time and he's actually trying," I tell Havi offhandedly, as if I couldn't care less about it.

"See? I told you he's not that bad. He likes pleasing people, or he used to at least," she muses and if I think about it, it doesn't surprise me. It could be another reason why he tries so hard to buy his friends, and everyone around. He wants to please them, he just uses the fastest and least attached way.

"We are learning to deal with each other," I say because I'm also learning he doesn't like to be criticised, yet I do it a lot.

Maybe I should stop that and be more considerate; after all he's trying. It seems he learns fast so if I tell him once I don't like certain attitude it should be fine, no need to nag him about that. If I put effort into it, it should be even easier and we both could have a nice time without getting mad that frequently. Instead of treating him like a child, I'll try treating him like the adult he is. I mean, I can try.

I must admit I haven't been easy on him, it's not all his fault that we fight.

"That's great," Havi cheers happily. "It'd be fun if you two actually end up fancying each they by the end," she laughs. "It'd be like in those fan fictions their fans are so fond of," she continues and I look at her with horror.

"In five months we are done, don't even joke about it," is my reply and she loses her smile. "Getting along doesn't mean we're gonna develop feelings for each other, Havi."

"I was just saying," she apologises but I shake my head dismissively. I kind of overreacted but it's better if we end the discussion here. "So um, what about this dress?" she asks showing me a white one with tribal patters. It's knee length and strapless and with pockets, which gives it like a globe effect around the hips, accentuating the waist. I actually love it, it's formal and simple yet fancy enough for the occasion.

"I love it," I say with a radiant smile and I take it from her hands to try it on.

I look myself on the mirror and I really like how it makes me look, and with a loose bun at the back of my neck it'll look great, and with high black stilettos the outfit will be perfect, and I have a black coat that will suit it perfectly when we arrive and leave the place.

I go out for Havi's approval and once she sees me, her smile widens and she gives me thumbs up.

"Gorgeous! You look dashing, Belle," she compliments and I smile at her. "It was easier than I thought," she laughs next and I'm glad. I don't like shopping so the less time we spend here, the better.

"Let's go for a coffee to celebrate we found the dress," I propose just so that coming here wasn't for something that small and short.

"I'd love to," she agrees so I go back to the dresser and get back in my clothes to pay for the dress next. Havi uses the company card to pay for it, saying it's in the contract so I don't complain. I'll explain Liam later that I didn't have another option. Besides, it works as a reminder for me that this is just a job. I don't think Liam will mind, right?

-:-:-

 I hope you are enjoying BBB so far. Please, let me know on your comments but don't go crazy with the inline comments cos if you do, it's spam on my inbox XD

Bel, xx

PS: Belle's dress on the multimedia (: