There once was a chance I didn't take... and I still wonder what could have changed.

The pain I caused cannot be erased;
The only person on my side, I abandoned;
The unforgivable thing I've done ensures
The loneliness accompanying it.

It al started with a change in...
Eighth grade.

We were filling in a survey for social studies, because Mr. Schmidt was curious about what type of social being we were and if it was accurate. He was doing a research on self-knowledge & self-image and we were his test public. According to him there were four types and it was up to us to help him find out if there could be more or less types.

That was when a heated discussion took place between me and my best friend, excuse me ex-best friend, Jade.

"Tess, I know who you are without you crossing the answers." She turned my paper and pressed her finger on the third text box. "Type C." Her eyes pinching together, a habit she did when she's challenging anyone else to object her words. I was glad that Jade returned to normal, but it felt strange after what happened yesterday.

"But but,..." I stammered, looking for an argument. "I think I am type B."

"Think? See you are not sure." She grinned triumphantly. Sometimes she can be so unruly, but she has a point, which makes me even madder.

Biting my lip, I retorted, "I trust the survey and I just need to calculate the results of two more questions." The hostility in my voice made Jade shrug and work further on her own survey. Nevertheless, the real discussion was just waiting around the corner.

Twenty minutes before the break Mr. Schmidt clapped. "So everyone done? Tell me what you are and what you think. Aaaand we start with this group." He pointed at our table, which was no surprise because today we were sitting the closest to his desk. He always picks the ones near his desk to start. I hurried to finish my last scribbles and was going to share them. However, my neighbour was faster and didn't hesitate.

"I'm type A," Jade said. "And it's true." A few boys were whistling, teasing her for what she had done yesterday.

As most teachers, Mr. Schmidt knew about it too, so he decided to not go deeper into Jade's personal matters. "Okay then. Tess, what about you?"

"I'm type B, a straightforward, honest and social girl," I replied with a convinced tone.

"No you're not." Jade muttered. And as I said before we were seated closest to Mr. Schmidt, so he caught this with his excellent hearing.

"Interesting. Go on, give us arguments Jade. We can enhance our debating skills this way." Was Mr. Schmidt seriously expecting us to debate in front of the whole class, about ME?

Jade seemed to be perfectly fine with that and just went with it. "For starters, Tess is shy. Up till today she had never started a conversation with a stranger."

"What, I have or had! I had started a conversation with your mom, when you introduced me to her." The whole class broke out in a laughter. Mr. Schmidt tried to look as unaffected as possible, but the corners of his mouth were curling up. What did I say wrong?

Jade was chuckling and explained. "Since you already knew she was my mom, I suppose she didn't acquire as a stranger." Oh, I suck at debating... And those were the longest twenty minutes I ever had, sinking in shame.

After class I saw Jade talking to Penny. "Yeah, go to Penny. Let her be your best friend then," I murmured. A bitter defeat, since there was more at stake and I couldn't clinch onto this chance to persuade her for yesterday.
I decided not to bother the two of them and to calm down on the way back home.

Walking past the fence, I spotted my crush, Alec. It was unexpected that he was taking this route. I reflected on what Jade said in class "You're the type who will freak out when you're with your crush, that's why you're type C too." I was going to prove her wrong, because I'm type B. A lame encouragement I know, but at that time it felt so right.

I strolled next to him. "Hi Alec!"

"Hey Tess." He smiled, then laughed. "You were so funny today!" Shit, I was so engaged in my debate that I forgot he was also taking that class.

My cheeks coloured crimson and I was not sure if it was because I was embarrassed or because he complimented me or maybe both? "Eh, thanks, I guess."

"And I cracked up at this sentence: I met your mother when you introduced me. Hilarious!" He chortled.

I tried laughing it off, but it came out as an insecure joke. "Don't remind me of that," I added weakly.

"Speaking of funny things, I think that purple hat in the showroom is made for you."

"Hehe," I laughed softly. What was that? Is he making fun of me?
"I don't think so, it will suit you better, because you have a big head." No, no, no, I did not seriously just said that! Curse me, why am I never thinking twice before answering...

"Hahahaha. I knew you were interesting." Surprised I looked at him.
"Yeah, I've always wanted to talk to you more. We're going to the same track & field club, right?"

"Yes." I hope he hasn't noticed my stalking for the past seven years.

"Cool. Are you participating in next week's race?"

"Yep, but I'm no good."

"The first step to win is to be confident," he winked. Swoon, I can't take this any longer.

"Got it." I smiled like an idiot.

In front of the bookstore, close to the crossroad, Alec stopped. "I have to wait here for my mom, so see you tomorrow at school then."

"See you tomorrow. Bye." With a quick turn at the corner I recalled the whole conversation. From time to time I make a sound of embarrassment, revising what I shouldn't have said and pondering on what non-clichés could have been utilised. I strolled alongside the straight pathway. Every time I remembered how he smiled to me, I would giggle and stray too much to the left. I wondered if it was worth making a fool out of myself in public.

I really like him.

Then a thought kept lingering "Confess to him Tess, be confident like he said."

I paced back and forth, my indecisiveness causing my head to break. Finally I was determined "The time has come. I'm ready."

I believed he was still there, so I ran and sped up, to the fastest I've ever been. But when I turned the last corner, he just stepped in his mother's car. Only a distance of 50 feet, I could have easily made it in 1 or 2 seconds.

I could have sprung in front of the car to hold on to him. However, I didn't, I lacked the courage to do so.

I braked, I stopped myself from confessing to him.

_____________________
This is my first short story (●^·^●)​
I don't have much experience for this genre, so tips and feedback are always much appreciated.

Well, how do you like the 'first' brake? Would you have done some things differently than Tess?
What do you think had happened yesterday?

Prepare yourself, because more intense brakes are coming each day! ;)
Christine xxx