Okay, most of you remember How To Train Your Dragon, right?

It's only an extremely successful movie that ended up with a sequel, a TV series, much merch, and an entire fanbase.

Allow me to rock your world.

HTTYD was a BOOK.

In fact, it was a book SERIES.

A very good one, written by Cressida Cowell.

The movie got SO MANY things wrong. 

I will rant now. Be prepared.

-Hiccup's mom isn't dead. She's a minor character, but she's not dead.

-Toothless looks like this:

He is ACTUALLY TOOTHLESS.

There's a moment where he gets a tooth, but then he loses it.

Also, the main thing: Toothless is a Common or Garden dragon. He is NO BIGGER THAN YOUR FOREARM. 

NO.

BIGGER.

You do not ride Toothless. He becomes grumpy.

-Hiccup looks like this:

Pretty much the same, but dorkier.

Hiccup stands out from the rest of the village not only because he's a shrimp, but because he speaks Dragonese.

Ever heard of it?

No?

Not surprising. THe movie ripped out that part and fed it to Alvin the Treacherous. (More on him later.)

Anywho, Dragonese is a very real language. 

Hiccup has no training skills, possibly because Toothless is a BRAT. They're constantly arguing, not flying around because reasons.

-FISHLEGS IS WIMPIER THAN HICCUP

He's got asthma, eczema,a squint, a limp, allergies to almost everything (including dragons) and can't swim.

His dragon is named Horrorcow.

Not Meatlug.

HoRrOrCoW.

-Snotlout is pretty much the same, accompanied by his minion, Dogsbreath the Duhbrain.

I schist you not.

Dogsbreath the Duhbrain.

Also, Snotlout is Hiccup's cousin. Since Hiccup is the heir to the throne and a wimp, Snotty wants his spot.

He's also a lot more of a bully.

-Stoic is the exact same. That's the one character the movie got right. 

-Astrid.

Doesn't.

Exist.

Like, at ALL.

Her name is irrelevant. Toss that character out the window.

Now introducing...

The character who was completely left out even though she's the best female protagonist ever...

CAMI-FREAKING-CAZI

Camicazi. Her name says it all.

She's really short, like 4'0", but has another two feet of attitude.

She can break out of any prison and always has a plan or idea.

Her mom is Big-Boobied(No lie) Bertha, the chief of a tribe similar to the Amazons.

WHO RUN THE WORLD?

Camicazi, that's who.

Anything I missed?