nobody truly cares, but i feel guilty for neglecting this book. feel free to ignore.

i've been reading joshler because i like their dynamic. i'd love to write some, but i really disagree with real person fiction. it's hard for me to write anything nowadays because the things i'm obsessed with are real people with real lives and other people that can be affected by what i write. i want to be writing, i really do. but no one cares enough to read something that isn't fanfiction, and though that's really sad, it's true. 

i have been thinking a lot about my sexuality, trying to fit myself somewhere. i might be asexual? i don't know. do i want to fit somewhere? yes. should i? no/yes/i can't decide? i could have kissed that boy today, but i just didn't want to, and i feel like i should've wanted to. 

someone the other day told me that my snapchat story was "so longggg" and okay yeah it was but you don't have to fucking complain to me about it just skip through it who cares i skip through yours all the time 

and you know what? instagram accounts that fucking threaten you with "follow back or i unfollow" in their bios can fuck right off okay like bye bitch unfollow me your follow is not a fucking blessing to my existence you're not that great your account sucks a wrinkly cock

i'm sorry friends idk what upset me just now 

i just want to be happy i just want a job and a boyfriend but boyfriends involve touching and being intimate and eventually sex and i don't want any of that 

none of this is worth anything to you why are you still here with me