"Aside from with my hyungs... I've--I've never felt... I've never cared. And, and I thought it would be that way forever. But then... you--" Jungkook's voice caught in his throat.
He was looking down, his dark bangs almost hiding his eyes entirely.

His hand trembled, once, at his side and he immediately curled it into a fist.

"Jeon Jungkook," you try to say warningly.

Because there was a line. And he was about to cross it. And then there would be no going back.

You hated yourself for how your voice trembled on his name.

His head jerked up at your broken composure, his mouth parted in surprise. He stepped forward involuntarily.

You immediately take a step back without thinking.
He was overwhelming you.
Your heart was pounding with something painful and sharp.

No, you tell yourself. Don't you dare break for even a moment.

You take another step back.
A shaky breath. A deeper breath. A steady breath.

"Jungkook ah," you say in a nonchalant voice, forcing a smile onto your face.

His eyes widen.

"No, please," he leans forward.
He sees you collecting your composure, he feels it slide back into place, locking him out.
His eyes search your face frantically, looking for the brief glimpse of something he may have hoped for just a second ago.

His hand twitches, lifting toward you ever so slightly.

You look away.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" You say gently. You turn your back to him.

He panics, closing the distance between you in two large strides.

"...What? No! Wait. I'm trying to tell you that I--" He grabs your wrist.

"Call me noona," you say coldly, cutting him off.

He freezes.

You pull your hand out of his warm palm, the heat burned into your heart.
You make yourself look at him.

"I'm your noona," you repeat, your voice flat.

"I--- I know," he stammers, "but, it doesn't matter. I--"

"JUNGKOOKIE ~~" A singsong voice drifts in from the hallway. With a loud thud, Jimin pushes the door open, his face bright with a playful smile.

You exhale, relieved and drowning at the same time. You walk towards him, leaving Jungkook behind you.

Jimin looks back and forth between you and Jungkook, startled by the expressions on your faces.

"What's... what's wrong?" He asks quietly.

"Nothing," your voice comes out barely a whisper. You brush past Jimin through the door. He watches you go, speechless.

You're aware his voice was full of concern, that he was watching you with concern, but if you didn't leave now you would surely crumble.
You burst into the hall, away from Jimin's voice asking Jungkook if he was okay, away from Jungkook's muffled reply, his voice low and torn up.

It would be a disaster, you repeat to yourself. You'd lose your job. You'd lose the boys. They were like brothers to you. Well, some of them.
You don't want to lose them. You loved writing about them, seeing them all the time, laughing with them. Watching their practices and waiting backstage at the shows.
If you crossed the line you'd lose it all.

You turn your face away from two other employees as you walk by, your feet moving as quickly as they could carry you.

You push through glass doors and crash into something, ricocheting backwards, flailing.

"Whoa, whoa!" A deep voice exclaims. Hands dart out to grab your arms, steadying you. Your feet find their balance again.

"Sorry," you gasp out.

"Don't worry," Taehyung laughs, winking at you. "Where are you going in such a hurry though?"

"Oh, hi Tae, I'm-- I'm just going... home," you falter.

"Great! I'm looking for Jimin to ask if he wants to eat dinner. Want to come with us?"

"No, I'll pass on that. But I think he's with Jungkook in the meeting rooms..."

"Oh! Meeting rooms? Are they talking about something important?"

"I'm not sure," you lie.

"I won't interrupt them then. Mmm, are you sure you don't want to have dinner with me?"

"Actually, yes, let's go," you say quickly. The last thing you wanted was for Tae to find out about your conversation with Jungkook too. "I'm really hungry, I'd like to go eat."

"Well, okay then. I'll just text Jimin later," he turns and follows you out of the building, slipping a cloth mask from his pocket and onto his face as the two of you reach the street.

You hail a cab and mumble yes to wherever Tae suggests going, your mind spinning. He gives the address to the driver.
How will you face work tomorrow? Is there a way you could keep everything under wraps?
The thought of losing your job, which you loved so much, twisted in your stomach.

You felt scared and sick.

Taehyung takes the hint and falls silent, respecting your obvious need for space.

You watch the city flit by through the window as it begins to rain, your thoughts all over the place.

You try to calm down, but eventually you lose control. It's too much.
You throw your hands over your face as your tears start falling down your cheeks.
Taehyung makes a sound of surprise at your distress.

"What's wrong?" He whispers, just as the taxi pulls to a stop. He hurriedly pulls some bills from his pocket and hands them to the driver, thanking the older man, and puts his arm around you and pulls you from the car.

"Hey, it's okay," his voice is a little panicked as he steers you away from the streetside. You can't be bothered to care as you cry your heart out, leaning into him and letting warm, sweet Tae handle the stress of dealing with a crying woman.

He beeps a large set of glass doors and walks you into a building and to an elevator, patting your back. By the time you snap to, you realize he's unlocking the door to what looks like a home.

"This is where I live," he says, "I usually get delivery and eat at home so I don't have to be in public."

Now that you think about it, the boys are so busy that you've never eaten dinner with them at their leisure not between work. Curiosity gets the better of you and you follow him in, drying your teary face with your already wet sleeve.

"Sit on the sofa, I'll get you some water, noona."

The living room is large but simple, and you sink into the sofa, discreetly wiping your nose. He's gone for a few minutes; you hear him closing a cupboard and water pouring, then him on the phone, ordering food.

He returns to the room, sliding his phone back into his pocket and hands you a glass of water. He sits down on the coffee table, facing you.

"Will you tell me why you're so sad?" He implores, slanting his face, clearing abusing his handsome features to make puppy-dog eyes at you.

"I... I don't want to talk about it."

"Ahh..." he pouts and leans away.

"Sorry..." You drink from the glass in your hand and the cool liquid calms you a bit.

"Aww..."

"Did you order food? Can we watch TV until it arrives?" You say, just to change the topic.

"Okay," he caves. He sighs pointedly, still pouting.

He turns on the TV and flips a few channels.

You smile reluctantly as the BTS' Puma commercial cuts in.
He grins.

"We look pretty damn cool," he says.

He settles on a singing competition show and you finally laugh as he makes fun of the contestants' hairstyles and clothing. To be fair they were pretty ridiculous.

You cast Jungkook out of your mind, telling yourself that you'll find the courage tomorrow to carry on. Just enjoy laughing with Taehyung, he's good at making people laugh, and you will feel stronger by tomorrow.

You grimace as a man on stage fails to sing his high note. The judges frown.

"He's so bad!" Tae bursts into laughter.

Through his voice you think you hear a beep and a click that seems out of place on the show somehow.

Taehyung bends sideways from laughing, leaning into you and gently nudges your shoulder with his, bringing a smile to your face.

And that was what Jeon Jungkook saw as he rounded the wall into the living room.

You freeze, the smile on your lips falling.

He narrows his eyes at Taehyung, who is still leaning into you.
Taehyung smiles at them as Jimin pushes Jungkook into the room.

"I thought I heard the front door," Tae says. "I ordered enough food for us all!"

"Wh... what?" You stammer.

"Oh, I texted Jimin to join us whenever they were finished talking," Tae said, confused about your shock.

"Is that not okay?" Asked Jimin.

"Of, of course, I..." You try to look everywhere in the room except at Jungkook, whose gaze was burning into you.

"Noona wanted to eat with me," Tae joked, his shoulder nudging you again.

"Is that so," came Jungkook's voice.

"Yep!" Tae smiled, oblivious.

"Hyung," Jungkook tilts his head at both of the other guys, "can you guys go downstairs to wait for the food?"

"Why--" Taehyung starts, but Jimin cuts him off.

"Let's go, TaeTae," Jimin turns and walks back to the front door, beckoning.

Confused, Taehyung looks at you and shrugs before slowly getting up and leaving.

Jungkook waits until the door clicks shut behind them.

Your heart is pounding.
You bite down hard on your bottom lip to keep it from trembling as Jungkook walks across the room and sits on on the coffee table, sliding himself across it slowly to face you.
His knees almost touch yours.

Why do they keep sitting on the tables? You think in your cluttered mind. Why, when there are a ton of seats in the room...

He tilts his head sideways to look into your face. His face is so close to yours, you can hear him inhale.
He doesn't say anything.
And you can't take the unbearable silence.

"What?" You almost shout.

"Why?" He asks quietly.

"Why what?" You retort.

"Why did you leave? You knew I was trying to tell you something." His eyebrows met together with pain.

"I..." You stop.
He was right.
It wasn't right to walk away from a friend who was trying to speak to you, regardless of the message.
Regardless of whether it would tear your world apart...

"I'm sorry," you whisper. You felt warmth rising in your eyes and begged yourself not to cry.

"No, it's okay," his voice rose as he sees the tears in your eyes. He raises his hands to your face but pulls them back. He looks around frantically then reaches under the table for a tissue box and offers it to you.
"Don't cry. I'm... I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't think about... if... if it upsets you, then... then I already know what it means." His voice breaks, his face contorts and then a tear is falling down his jaw and he tries to hide it by standing up and looking away.
"I'm sorry I burdened you with this. It was stupid of me to only think about myself," he says, hoarse.

You open your mouth to say something, but you don't trust yourself.

"Jungkook..." You say instead; your voice is high and you feel your chin quivering.

He takes a deep breath and sits back down.
He looks into your eyes.
His mouth sets into a grim line.
Then in an impulse jerk, he reaches across the short distance between you and places his thumb on the corner of your mouth.
He stares at his hand, as if in disbelief at what he just did.
Then he strokes his finger outward, over your cheek, wiping away tears.

"It's alright. It's not your fault how I feel." He folds his sleeve over his other hand and dries your face. "Just... don't cry."

You can't help yourself.
You see his tear on the edge of his jaw and you slide your index finger across his jawline to wipe his tear away for him too.

You hear his breath shudder as you touch him.

"Jungkook ah..." You whisper. "I like working with you. With all you boys. I don't want to leave."

"What?" He catches your hand in his. You flinch at the jolt of electricity shooting through you. "I wouldn't make you leave. You think I'd try to get you fired for not... for not... are you serious?" He stared at you, incredulous.

"No... but... we work together. It wouldn't be right if--" with a beep and a click, the front door opened again, interrupting you.
You pull your hand away from Jungkook hurriedly.
He collects himself and stands up, walking aside, staring at the ceiling.

"We have the food!!" Taehyung jogs in, giddy.

"Yaa! I told you they were talking," snaps Jimin, following him with a look of annoyance.

"I know, but noona is not in a good mood today and I think we can cheer her up together," insists Tae.

Taehyung plops down on the couch beside you, unnecessarily close, trying to comfort you with his camaraderie. He hugs you with one arm as he sets a plastic bag on the table, pulling out containers of food.

"I don't know what's bothering you, noona? But maybe the food will make you feel better." He thinks for a second then leans in and nuzzles you with the crown of his head.

You laugh despite yourself at the unexpectedness of it, and only stop at Jimin's uncomfortable shuffle.

"Hey, stop it, Taehyung," he interjects. You follow his gaze over to Jungkook, who is staring darkly at Tae's head burrowed into your shoulder.

You hesitantly pat the creature at your side, beckoning him to stop.

"Tae-Taehyung... let's... let's eat," you encourage.

"Do. You. Feel. Better?" He laughs, snuggling you for a friendly hug.

It warms you, his open skinship.

"Yes," you smile at him.

"She said she's fine! Let go of her and eat your food," hisses Jungkook.

"Don't snap at him, I appreciate him, it's comforting," you reply.
Taehyung's candid friendship did comfort you and you felt a need to defend him.

Jungkook narrows his eyes at your retort. A shiver runs down your back.

"Oh, you appreciate him, do you? If it helps so much, I should do it too," he replies.

With a lift of his eyebrow, Jungkook swings over the back of the sofa and lands on the other side of you.

He drapes an arm across your shoulder and turns his face to you, his mouth dangerously close to yours.

"Noona," he breathes.

Your face is on fire and you know it.
"What... what are you..." You try to pull away from him, but his arm around your shoulder forces you back.

"Comforting you," he smirks. "You don't mind us dongsaeng comforting you, right?"
He starts looking suspiciously at you as your cheeks turn bright red.

You turn away quickly only to see Jimin's jaw drop open at the realization that you must feel something different for Jungkook versus Taehyung.
You shake your head at him, pleading him to say nothing.

Jimin stays motionless, staring in disbelief.

Then he breaks into a knowing smile.

His smile pierces right to your soul.

"I... I need to go to the washroom!" You squeak. You shove both guys' arms off you and spring up from the sofa, scurrying off.

"It's at the end of the hallway," Taehyung shouts helpfully.

You dart into the washroom and fumble for the light switches, turn on the tap water and splash your flushed face repeatedly.
Your mind keeps replaying Jungkook's obnoxious mouth breathing "Noona" into your ear.

No, no, no!! You shake your head to rid the image and bury your cheeks into a palmful of cold water.

It takes a few moments for the blush to go away.
You stand up straight and water drips into your eyes as you reach behind you, blind, looking for a towel.

You feel something cloth-like and you grab it, lowering your face into it.

You go very still as the cloth vibrates and you hear a chuckle.

"Sure, dry your face on my clothes."

You jerk your head up into Jungkook's smiling face. You are gripping the wet bottom edge of his hoodie.

You immediately let go.
"I-- I didn't, I thought, a towel, was blind, towel, blind, - I didn't--"
You know you are not saying the right words but you can't shut up.

His smile fades and he looks down at you, quiet.

You hear Jimin and Taehyung going "waaaaa" in the living room, probably talking about the food.

"Let's join-- the-- the food," you try, attempting to push past him.

Jungkook doesn't budge.

"You don't seem to get embarrassed when V hyung touches you," he murmurs.

"That's because, because, I'm closer with Tae," you retort.

He pauses for a moment.
"Is that so?"

"Yes," you say defiantly, raising your chin.

"Well, you and I could get closer too," he whispers, leaning down.

You flinch away, but he steps forward even closer. You don't have a choice, so you back farther into the washroom.

He smiles and steps in after you, closing the door behind him.

Click.

"You... what are you... you..." You feel your knees wobbling as you try to find the right words to accuse him.

"What am I what?" He steps into you again, and your back is pinned against the sink.

"Jung-jung...kook..." You lift your hands up to his chest to hold him back.

"Yes?" His heavy lidded gaze studies your hands on his chest, then trails upwards to your shoulder, to your neck, and stops on your mouth.

He licks his bottom lip.

Your breath catches.

He smirks, cocky.
And looks you in the eye as he sucks his lip into his mouth and pulls it with his teeth.

You know he's doing it on purpose, but his flushed lip and warm chest and jagged jawline and his gaze are too much and you blush again, mesmerized.

You know he's had thousands of hours of practice staring into cameras, he knows how to play his strengths, he knows his dark eyes are holding you captive, your heart fluttering.

A tiny whimper escapes from you; you hear him lose his breath.

He closes the space between your mouths in a heartbeat.