I do not own Kill La Kill. Kill La Kill is own by Trigger and it's respectful owners.

Deep underground, in the sewer systems of Japan, multiple men were running for their lives. A squad of men were firing their rifles as they panicked. They had little to no clothes, only wearing the bare minimum with tactical vests and pouches.

"We need to get to the extraction point!" The naked man yelled as he fired his rifle. Needles shot out like rain, piercing an unknown formless mass. Multiple threads wriggled and moved before a tendril shot out.

The agent didn't have time to react and was impaled. He wheezed and looked down to see he a red tendril of threads through his stomach. Without hesitation, he reaches for a belt of grenades, but more tendrils shot into him.

"No!!" Another agent reached for his comrade but was held back. The group watched as the man was yanked into the writhing mass, his body disappearing in the darkness.

"We need to go, now!" The leader yelled. He threw several canisters that spewed out a gas. The mass let out a screech crawling back. This gave the men a chance to flee.

"This is agent Daisuke! We're nearing the extraction point! Be prepared as we have multiple hostiles pursuing us!" The man fired his SMG, needles firing out. It hit another mass that hissed before running away.

The group rushed through the sewer system, maintaining their sights of any more of the writhing masses. They were originally a scouting party, but it was quickly apparent they were severely outmatched.

Another agent was quickly snatched, his body screaming as he was pulled into the shadows. The men continued forward, trying to find their way through the maze.

"We're almost there!" Daisuke yelled at his two remaining men. They nodded, but it was clear they were on their last threads.

"This is Mikisugi Aikuro," the radio yelled, "What's your status?"

"Sir, we're-" he didn't finish as a tendril pierced his back. He coughed up blood, looking down to see his lung was shot. He turned to his remaining men, seeing one of them tangled in a web of threads. The other was firing at an unknown mass in the shadows.

"Hello? Are you there?! What's your situation?" The radio crackled, the voice echoing through the tunnels.

The man cough again, more blood spilling out. His lips were painted red, but he tried his best to speak. He raised the radio to his mouth, and opened his mouth but froze. Right above him was the mass that had impaled him. A mouth opened revealing a maw filled with needle sharp threads forming teeth.

"God damn you abominations!!" He yelled as it lunged at him.

On the other side of the radio, Mikisugi yelled, hoping for a response. But all he got was static.

"Damn it!" A growled, slamming a hand down. He was in his super suave sexy persona, but his nipples were shining as brightly. He sat down, lighting a cigarette as he viewed the recording the team had.

There have been reports from his organization; Nudist Beach, that there was suspicious activity underneath a district of a city. They sent a scouting squad to secure their home base, but it was clear things were not okay.

The hidden agent looked at a paused video of an agent being attacked. It was a writhing mass of crimson-red threads, formless with the exception of tendrils with needle sharp points. While their anti Life Fiber equipment wasn't totally useless, it might as well have been.

"What to do..." The man tapped his cigarette, flicking ash into a tray. This was a new enemy that obviously connected to the Life Fibers, but they were in the dark. Should they send another squad, well equipped and prepared?

No, they wouldn't achieve anything but feeding these things, men and women. They would need to send in someone stronger. More capable.

Aikuro turned to another screen that showed Ryuko, Philia, and Mako all hanging out in the slums. He had agents hiding in the denizens of the lower class to keep an eye on the girls. Perhaps he could utilize them?

Matoi Ryuko could easily take out One Stars on her own. Added with her Kamui, she could take out club captains with Two Star Goku uniforms. But she wasn't at the level to take out the Elite Four and their Three Star Goku uniform.

She was reckless, stubborn, ram head first into danger. She had the right attitude, but she needed to think a bit more.

Fauche C. Philia was an incredibly skilled and strong. She's able to take out One Stars, but they have little to no data on her. She covered her tracks real good. He supposed if she hiding from the IRS, she would need to.

But her battle against Ira Gammagori proved she wasn't cowardly like Mako or as reckless as Ryuko. She used tactics and strategy to even the playing field. She had to, when fighting against superhuman children she needed to do whatever she could.

Mankanshoku Mako was... Mako. Mako seemed to defy logic and reason but proved to be a real boost in motivation. She stuck to her friends like glue and trusted them fully despite only knowing them for a few short weeks.

Aikuro stroked his chin, pondering to himself. Perhaps he could use the girls? Ryuko was out of the question. Isshin trusted him to take over Nudist Beach, and watch over his daughter. She simply wasn't ready yet.

Kinagase Tsumugu was making his way to Hono city. He'd no doubt want to confront Ryuko, and Philia would most likely want to get involved... He would need to find a way to keep her occupied.

~ ~ ~

Class had ended for the day and students were sent to their extracurricular activities. One club had decided to kidnap Mako and use her as bait to lure Ryuko and Philia.

"Why the hell do these goons keep taking Mako?!" Ryuko swung her blade, shredding a boy naked. He yelped covering his ween before he was given an uppercut.

"Cause she's an easy target!" Dodging a swing from a student, Philia grabbed the kid's head and kneed him. He stumbled back but the woman didn't relent as she beat on him.

The boy growled and threw a punch. She received the hit right in her face and felt her nose bend. But she took that momentum and returned the attack.

More kids surrounded her, seeing her as an easy target too, but she proved to match them. They all lunged to dog pile her, but Ryuko dashed forward and knocked them away.

"You okay?" She asked as she guarded her friend.

The woman lowered her scarf enough so she could clean her face. Her nose was bleeding, but she just snorted it out.

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks," The girl had left her sword back home. She thought she didn't need it, but the moment she walked into school everyone was after her and Ryuko's head.

"Aha ha ha ha!" A jaunty laugh echoed through the room. The One Star all moved to make a path for a boy. He was dressed flamboyantly with a pink feathered scarf wrapped around him. He had colored shades and his hair was dyed blonde. He also had makeup with some lipstick on.

"Oh ho! I see you are not just simple weaklings!" He posed as all of the students pulled out cameras and took photos of him.

"Who the hell's this guy?" Ryuko mumbled to her friend.

"I dunno, but he needs to tone down the eyeliner," Philia mumbled back. "And why a stock photo?"

"Are you stunned by my looks? My fabulous appearance? My gorgeous view?" The man posed again, the students still taking photos of him. "I am Hagiwara Aki! Leader of the Photography and Imagery Club!"

Hagiwara Aki

"Yeah yeah, where the hell's Mako?!" Ryuko growled, this guy was already pissing him off.

"That lowly No Star? Why, she's right here!" He gestured to a comically large camera film. Inside was Mako who was panicking.

"Huh? Oh, Ryuko-Chan! Philia-Chan!" She smiled waving at them.

"Mako!" The two yelled.

"Not so fast!" The boy laughed before the lights turned off. A dim red lighting then lit the room. If you take one step, then we'll have to develop her!" Some students rolled out the film while others pulled out a container of water.

Ryuko paused as she stared at the boy. "Huh?" She didn't understand.

"... Do you not know how photographs were developed back then?" The boy looked at her incredulously.

"Damn girl, didn't y'know that people used to put photographs in water to develop them?" Philia raised a brow at the girl as if it was the most obvious thing. "Tch, kids these days."

"Why are you attacking me? And we're the same age!" Ryuko snapped back. "I didn't know you had to do that! I thought you just take a photo with a camera and it'd spit it out!"

"No, no, no! Back then you need a dimly lit room and a water container so the-"

"Don't care, didn't ask!" Ryuko yelled. She yanked her Sekki Tekko and transformed into her uniform. "Life Fiber Synchronization: Kamui Senketsu!"

"Still not getting used to that." Philia kept her eyes off the stripper and focused on the fight.

"Rah! Get them!" The captain ordered his members.

Ryuko charged forward, planning on plowing through, but the club members all pulled out their cameras and began flashing their lights. The flashing lights and dimly lit room disoriented the girl.

"Gah! Can't see!" She stopped holding her eyes. Even Senketsu was flinching from the flashes.

"Film Wrap!" The captain flicked his arm and strips of film flew out. They quickly wrapped around the girl and tied her down.

"Ryuko!" Pulled out a knife, Philia slashed at the film, tearing it. She quickly cut at the wrapping, but there were so many layers.

"Nah uh uh!" The captain dashed forward and kicked the girl in the chin.

"Augh! Son of a-" She received another kick but was quick to dodge another strike.

"Lady Satsuki said anyone that defeated Matoi Ryuko would receive instant Three Star status with their very own Three Star Goku uniform!" The very taller boy continued to throw kicks as he kept his hand in his pockets. "She said the same for Fauche C. Philia, so I wonder what I would get of if brought the both of you?"

"Bite me!" Philia threw her own kick meeting Aki's. She winced at the force, forgetting these kids had superhuman strength.

"Ah, merde," she hissed wiggling her leg.

"Aw, what's wrong baby? Can't handle all this?" The boy continued his attacks, keeping a cocky grin on his face. "My Two Star Goku uniform gives me superhuman strength, speed, agility, and durability! You can't hurt me!"

Philia got a heel to the sternum, knee, and chin. She fell to the floor, groaning from the three hit combo.

"Shit, hold on Philia!" Ryuko hopped onto her feet, nearly falling over. The students lunged at her, but with a growl, she tore free from her bindings.

"I don't see how a runt like you defeated Ira Gammagori, but it is clear you are no match for me!"

Philia spat out some bloody spittle before glaring up at the boy.

"Ya got too much eyeliner!" She smiled as the boy did a dramatic gasp.

"How dare you!" He raised a foot, preparing to crush her skull in before something smashed into him.

"Take this!" Ryuko yelled as she swung her scissor blade. The Two Star Captain of the Photography and Imagery Club yelled as his Goku uniform was stripped from them. They fell to the ground naked as Ryuko dealt with the rest of the club.

Philia groaned as she got up. She quickly rushed over to Mako and free her from the film container.

"Thanks a lot, Philia! You and Ryuko really saved my skin!" Mako hugged her friend. A body flew past the two, crashing through a window. Light flooded the room and everyone yelled.

"NOOOOO!!!" The naked Captain yelled in agony and frustration. "All of our photographs! Ruin!!"

"That's whatcha ya get fer bein' a cunt!" Philia kicked the boy in the face, knocking a tooth out.

~ ~ ~

"Ugh, my nose is still bleeding." Philia shoved some paper into her nostrils. She still had her scarf on, but it did get some blood on it too.

"You okay?" Ryuko helped her friend. She had an arm slung over her.

"Yeah, just sore. He kept kicking my chin, the bastich."

Ryuko hummed before asking. "You always wear that scarf? What's up with that?" She went to touch it, but remember Philia didn't like her touching the cloth.

"I use it to cover my face 'cause I'm like super sexy and beautiful. If I took it off the ladies and boys would never leave me alone." The girl tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't help but giggle.

"Pfft! Yeah right! You're probably hella ugly!" Ryuko punched the girl, forgetting she was hurt.

"My ribs," her body was still sore from her fight with Gammagori.

"Welp, I'm sure Mako's dad will patch you up! Come on, let's go home."

"Actually... I was thinking about... seeing to a club?"

Ryuko and Mako stopped dead in their tracks. Ryuko slowly turned to face the girl like a statue turning on its pedestal.

"You wot m8?"

"Oh boy," Philia cleared her throat. "I was taking a look through the school's clubs and my eye was caught by a couple. So, I was thinking about maybe joining one?"

"Now why the hell would you do that?!" Ryuko yelled, "Didja hit your head and forget these guys are trying to kill us?"

"Course not!" the woman shot back. "It's cause they're trying to kill us!"

"That doesn't make any sense,"

"Listen, I can take out regular ass people like anyone else can. One Stars, they a bit of a problem, but I can handle them s'long as I don't get gang up on." Philip took out the paper in her nostril. Her nose had stopped bleeding. "But when I do get ganged up, I'm in trouble. Now, I ain't afraid of a fight-

Ryuko coughed.

Philip raised a brow at her but continued.

"But when me, a regular girl fighting against superhumans? And don't get me started on fighting against Two Stars." she threw her hands up but winced. She held her side, tenderly touching her ribs.

"But I can protect you! I got Senketsu!" the punk showed off her uniform.

"But yer not always gonna be there!" Philip countered, "And not to mention, you still struggle to master yer Kamui!"

"The hell's that supposed to mean?!" Ryuko barked.

"She's right, Ryuko" Senketsu spoke to his wearer. "While your friend Mako seems fine on her own, Philip has a bounty with equal rewards as yourself. The students have already deemed you dangerous to handle on a one on one, hence they're kidnapping Mako. But Philia? She has no means to defend herself, and the children of this school will see her as the easier game."

"Grah! I don't need your input!" Ryuko snapped at her uniform.

"Philia-chan's right, Ryuko-chan!" Mako popped in between the girls. "If I were a One Star or Two Star, I'd go after Philia because she's weak!"

The woman held back a choke.

"So if she were to join a club, then she'd get a One Star Uniform! Philia's pretty strong," the woman went bashful as she tried to be humble. "But compared to the rest of the school, she's just as strong as the next One star!" Philia choked again.

Ryuko held a hand to her chin. "But if she got a One Star uniform, then her strength would boost up quite a bit." the girl glanced at the older girl, watching as Mako gave her a hug. The woman cried as her bruised ribs were crushed.

"If you are worried that the club will jump her at the chance, you can accompany her when she goes to apply," Senketsu suggested. "But that's not what you're really worried about?"

"Ugh, no," Ryuko kept her voice low as Philia strangled Mako, "I'm just worried she'll prefer the clubs over me and Mako."

"I wouldn't worry about that, Ryuko-san." Senketsu comforted her. "Philia seems to be the type to be very loyal to those she considers her friends. If anything, making friends within the school would reduce the risk she has when she comes to school."

"Okay!" Ryuko clapped her hands. Philia and Mako turned from their scuffle. the older girl was strangling the younger, who in turn was biting down on the woman's head. "You can go see the clubs, BUT me and Mako will judge whether or not we approve."

"What are ya, my mommy?" Ryuko opened her mouth, but Philia raised a finger. "Don't answer that."

"Well... I guess this is the best I can ask for. Let's go window shopping!" The group went off, following the older woman as she pulled out a list. The paper was crumpled and written in a language she did not comprehend or the handwriting was just god awful.

"First up is... well, it was the Film and Photography club, but I'm sure it's safe to skip that one."

"Still don't understand cameras," Ryuko added.

~ ~ ~

"Okay, this is the Cooking Club." the girls opened the club to show several students dressed as professional chefs would. They were all concentrated on their cooking, none of the students noticed the girls coming in.

"Hm, this doesn't look so bad." Ryuko surveyed the class.

"I'm sorry, WHO THE FUCK THREW OUT ALL THIS SPAGETTI?!" someone yelled at the top of their lungs. The girl turned to see a man with an extremely tall chef's hat. It seemed to reach beyond the ceiling.

"Oh look, it's the head chef."

"WHERE'S THE FUCKING LAMB SAUCE?!" the man yelled at a student who shrunk from the lecture.

"He seems... nice..." Ryuko didn't know anything about cooking, but she had seen a few shows. They always took cooking seriously, but this seemed too extreme. "Are the chefs always like this?"

"Oh!" Mako popped in, "I know that guy! He used to be just a One Star in the cooking club, but I heard he threw the last head chef into a pot of boiling water and took his spot."

"I have never, ever, ever, ever, met someone who I believe in as little as you." the man stared down a girl who was on the very of tears.

"Yeah, I'm gonna give a pass on this one." Ryuko frowned as the chef put two slices of bread between a student's head.

~ ~ ~

"Okay, this is the robotics club?" Philia read her terrible handwriting.

As the two opened the door, they were subjected to see two metal robots clash against each other. A mecha pulled out a chainsaw sword and the other had a buzzsaw for an arm. They swung at each other, their weapons clashing releasing sparks. Around the robots, students all cheered and jeered as the machines fought. Two students held controllers, sweating as they moved joy sticks and mashed buttons.

The girls watched what just looked like a bunch of nerds surrounding two itty bitty bots playing with toys.

"Wow, what a bunch of losers." Mako commented.

"Ah! If it isn't the transfer students and their No Star pet." an obnoxious voice approached. The girls turned to see a fatass incel sitting in a mobility chair. He was so fat his neck rolls had their own rolls. The mini scooter seemed to barely hold his weight as it whined.

"Ugh, gross he smells like ass." Philia held her nose. Even with a scarf, she could smell the body odor.

"Uh, not that this isn't a bad club Philia, but this is a bad club," Ryuko told her friend. "It's just a bunch incels playing with toys. The windows are painted over so I bet none of them have even sen the sun in days."

"Achshually, it has been weeks, Matoi." disability check here corrected her. "And I'll have you know we are not playing with toys! These state of the art machines are pieces of complex machinery that your tiny girl brains couldn't even begin to comprehend!"

"Uh huh," the girls nodded.

"Even if we were accepting new applicants, there's no way we'd ever let a bunch of girls into our sacred sanctum! Get 'em boys!" the boy ordered.

"Pfft! Yeah right! All of you look like you'd fall over from your own weight! What? You gonna send your toys?" Ryuko mocked the boys.

As she said that several machines and robots came from the shadow and containers. The bots assimilated together in the center and began connecting with each other. Ryuko was too busy laughing her ass off to notice as the pile of metal quickly began to grow. Mako and Philia watched in both amazement and horror as the metal monstrosity grew to twelve meters.

"Uh, Ryuko-chan." Mako tapped on her friend's shoulders. "I think we should go. Or at least me and Philia. U-um, Ryuko-chan?" she tried to get the punk's attention but she was too busy mocking the boys.

"What, you're all gonna get on scooters and chase us?" the vagabond kept laughing until Philia elbowed her. "Ow! Hey, what's your..." she followed her friend's gaze and met a mass of metal.

"Who's laughing now?" the meatball laughed nasally as the robot took a step forward.

"Welp! Me and Mako will see other clubs, see ya Ryuko!" Philia gave Ryuko's ass a smack before she and Mako booked it, leaving Ryuko to deal with the metal giant. The girl still staring, transformed as the two gals left.

"Oi! You two get back here-" Ryuko was cut off as a fist smashed into her.

"So, next on our list..." Philia cleared her throat as the sounds of Matoi and a robot fight echoed through the school. They had left Ryuko to deal with the Redditors as they went through the list. "Ah! Book Club!"

"Nah," Mako quickly answered.

"... okay, uh, we got Chess club?"

"Nope,"

"Art history?"

"Pfft"

"Welding,"

"Definite no,"

"Kendo?"

"No," Philia opened her mouth but Mako cut her off, "No, no, no, no, no, nope, nah, neh, no, no"

The woman stared at the girl with a 'really' look. She look at her list noting a handful left.

"Creative Writing?"

Mako laughed, laughed at the suggestion. As if even the thought told her the idea was a joke. "Please Philia, what are you gonna do in Creative Writing? Write fanfic on an orange website?" she glances at you.

"Ughhhh... okay, fine! This is the last on the list! I had foreign languages, but honestly, I know enough languages to seduce a linguist in fifty different ways."

The two girls came up to the top of the school's walls, where a garden laid. There were multiple plots of soil. Some had flora, others had vegetables, and there was even a small bush. The two girls walked through the plots of soil, Mako humming as she skipped through the aisles.

"Ooo! An orange!" the girl reached for the fruit only for a vine to snatch her arm.

"Wha-?! Philia-aaaaaaa!" Mako was hoisted up into the air as a great vine held her up. From the same plot as the bush, a massive Venus fly trap opened its maw ready to chow down on the girl.

"Mierda!" the woman cursed, "Hold on, Mako! I'm coming!" The woman looked and saw a set of gardening shears and yoinked them. She rushed to the plant and sliced the base of the plant, but the tools shattered.

"Philia!!" Mako cried as the Venus fly trap vored her. Philia cursed before she grabbed a chainsaw and cranked it. The tool roared to life as Philia tore away at the base. The plant monster roared somehow before it thrust a vine at the girl.

"Hup!" Philia leaped away as the vine shot into the cement. She took the chance and ran up the vine, dodging thorns and more vines before she leaped right at the plant. The thing roared at her but Philia fell into its mouth making it gag.

The plant smacked its mouth, tasting the human it just ate before shrugging. Meh, not the best but not the worst. The planet retreated back into its plot of soil when it felt a pain in its stalk. It groaned before it let out a screech as a chainsaw cut through its base.

"Whomst the fuck gave you extra fertilizer?!" Philia yelled as she ripped open a hole in the stalk. She tossed out Mako who was covered in slime and fluids before Philia hopped out. The plant was still alive and threw a vine at the two, but Philia raised the chainsaw and sliced through the vine.

The plant screeched again before Philia rushed at its base and tore away. Soon she sliced straight through and the Venus fly trap fell, toppling down. Philia scratched her skin as the plant's fluids burned her. It must have been digestive. She saw a watering hose and rushed to wash herself but then saw Mako's body was steaming as well.

"Ugh, damn it," Philia growled as she hosed down Mako.  As she did, she quickly removed her clothes to minimize the damage. She hissed as her skin was red with holes here and there. She made sure to wash herself, but Mako was her priority.

As the woman was removing the cloth, far across the campus in a classroom, Mikisugi was watching through binoculars. Luckily, because Philia was 18, he would not be taken to prison... immediately anyway. Unbelievably, the teacher was not stalking-, I mean, spying on the girl was because he was gathering data. Philia was a prime candidate for Nudist Beach, he just needed to confirm she could be of use.

As he watched the girl undress herself to stop the burns from stomach acid, he whistles as an opportunity to see a chick nearly nude presented itself. He supposed he could take a peep. He adjusted his view and zoomed in on the woman, ready to see panties and bra, but was shocked.

Aikuro frowned as he lowered his binoculars before looking through them again. He watched the woman again, just to be sure of what he saw. A feeling of anxiety developed in the pit of his stomach. There were just so many. He wondered what this girl, no, this woman had gone through in her life?

He saw the woman perk up before she started looking around. Had she sensed someone was watching her? Humans did have an innate sense of when someone was staring at them, even if they didn't know. Apparently, she had great senses because she turned straight in his direction. He lowered his binoculars so as not to show the glare. He could still see her vaguely, but she turned away with a shrug.

Aikuro removed his shades before rubbing his eyes. He sighed, just who was this woman? When she arrived at this school with Matoi, he didn't think much of her. Just transfer students that most likely end up lost in the sea of nobodies. But he did keep a wandering eye on her as she hung around with Isshin's daughter. Though after her battle with Ira Gammagori, he put more attention on her.

She was always... on edge wasn't the right word, but she always seemed ready for anything to happen. She walked quietly, her eyes always scanning each room and everybody that she could see. Her eyes were bright, but just slightly dimmed. She wore baggy clothes and uniforms that covered as much of her body, with whatever was visible being wrapped in bandages. He could guess why she did so.

Mikisugi sighed again before he put his shades back on. She was looking to join a club for protection. Goku uniforms were an amazing tool, but in her hands, it would be a game changer for the woman. He pondered on how he could get her to work for him with using this information.

He turned back to the girls, peeping through his binoculars and noting the gardening club was approaching their little farm. Hmmm, in order to join a club you would need a signature from your teacher. That... would work. Yes, that would work, it'd also keep the woman away from Tsumugu as well.

~ ~ ~

"Excuse me, is there a reason as to why you cut down our Venus fly trap?" a moleman looking mofo asked. An entire group of students dressed in gardening uniforms stood behind him. Philia had just dressed herself. Her school uniform was soaked in digestive juices so she wasn't touching that.

"Huh? Whaddaya mean, why?" Philia was already ready to smack a hoe. "That thing tried to eat me and my friend!"

"Then maybe you shouldn't have gotten so close to it!" he countered horribly. "That's why only club members and staff are only allowed on the roof!"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to ya about that. Ya see I was interested in-"

"We worked so hard to grow and care for Sebastian! And now, he'll be nothing more than compost for the garden..." the moleman kneeled down next to the Venus fly trap's mouth, mourning. Several other students also morned as funeral music played.

"Where is that coming from?" the woman looked for a pipe organ, but there wasn't any. She shook her head. "Look, I'm sorry I killed 'Sebastian', but I was just defending myself. But I did want to-"

"Oh you'll be sorry alright!" the boy cut her off as the crowd all turned to Philia. "We were going to present Sebastian to the annual festival and beat those other schools! And now, you'll have to pay... with your life!"

Philia groaned as Mako slowly came to. She was covered in a towel as her clothes were soaked. The group of students all began watering the plot dirt the mole boy had on his back before another massive fly trap grew. Its maw was bigger than 'Sebastian's' and it drooled slime. Its stalk was covered in thick giant thorns and it had several thorny vines. They wrapped around fly trap's base as it roared.

"I am Kusanosuke Yaguruma, captain of the Honnoji Academy Gardening Club!"

Kusanosuke Yaguruma

"And you will pay for ruining our chances of winning the festival!"

"Okay, hold on, hold on," Philia tried to reason with the students. "Look, I'm sure we can-" Her eyes widened in fear before she leaped away. The giant pirana plant smashed into the floor, the stone cracking.  Philia landed next to Mako who was watching from the floor.

"Hmm... y'know, I think I'll go back to sleep." Mako nodded before she closed her eyes.

"Get yer ass up and outta here!" Philia picked the girl up and dropped kicked her as the piranha plant lunged again. Philia barely dodged as she revved up her chainsaw, but the damn thing sputtered and coughed. It was out of fuel!

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!" the girl ran as Yaguruma followed. The plant kept lunging and snapping its maw, just barely out of reach. Philia growled as she tried to look for fuel or something else.

Aha! Breaking ankles, Philia turned curtly as the mole boy fell forward from the weight of his plant. How he managed to stand, she didn't know. The woman came up to a small shack with tools and she rummaged through before she pulled out one of the most powerful tools anyone could ask for. A weapon so deadly it was used during the Great War. A tool that if in the right hands could produce endless uses no matter the situation.

A shovel.

It was short with a serrated edge, but it was perfect for the short woman. Yurugurama had gotten up as his members helped him. He turned to the woman and pointed at her before shouting.

"Get her! This new piranha planet will replace Sebastian. But first, he needs to be fed." The students all water their own plots of soil and their own deadly planets grew. They ranged from thorny vines, smaller venus and piranha plants, pitcher plants drooling with sludge, peashooters, giant walnuts, and etc. Fucking Plants vs zombie looking ass.

"Bite my ass! Yer garden's overgrown, and I'm here to trim ya down." Armed with an assortment of gardening tools, Philia stop before the students as she finished refueling her chainsaw. She glared at the plants before she cranked her chainsaw.

The students all charged as did Philia. A student with a tree leaned down as several branches shot forward like spikes. The woman swung her saw, tearing through the branches. Several vines lunged and wrapped around the chainsaw before tearing it away.

Philia pulled out hedge shears before splitting them apart. She swung and slashed at the vines, slicing clean through the, before she cut down a student. Their Goku uniforms helped them, but they weren't invincible.

A watermelon slammed into the woman knocking her down. She looked to see several students line up with vines acting as catapults. Other students loaded them up with watermelons before they launched.

Philia dodged and weaved in between artillery fire before a melon headed straight toward her. She grinned underneath her scarf before she whipped out a shovel and batted the damn thing. Fruit and seeds exploded, coating the girl in red.

A student kneeled down as his plant held a massive peashooter. Grabbing vines like they were controls, he yelled and sprayed a hail of fire at the woman. Baseball sized peas shot out and hit with the force of golf balls.

Philia cursed before she kicked up a bucket and used it as a helmet. She dodged and weaved between shots before she threw one-half of her shears. The blade spun before it decapitated the peashooter.

But the melon bombardment didn't stop as the students kept on firing. Philia continued rushing before she grabbed a spray pack. Pumping the hose, she spayed a cloud of plant killer. The melons and vines withered and died and probably gave the students cancer from the chemicals.

Philia grinned before someone smashed a fist into her. It sent her flying into the air and Yurugurama's piranha plant opened it maw to swallow her. But the woman twisted her body and threw the spray pack. The plant swallowed the back before it began choking. The chemicals burn its throat.

Philia slid off the plant's head before landing. She turned to see who the fuck launched her ass before settling on a buff student that was clad in walnut shells. Knowing how Life fibers were, she could assume the shells were hard as fuck.

"Come on!" Walnut beat his chest like a gorilla before he charged at her. Philia held her position before leaping to the side at the last second. Walnut was an idiot as he ran right off the edge of the roof. The man ran for about two feet before he fell, screaming as he did.

More students rushed the girl, but Philia was quick on her feet as she dodged and weaved between the club members. She pulled out a pot and smashed it on someone's head, before she turned and slashed someone with a metal rake.

Using the rake as a bo staff, she spun it around, smacking and deflecting attacks before she swept a girl's leg. She slammed the rake down, the teeth digging into their plant before she ripped it out.

A vine snatched her rake as many more slithered around her legs, but she pulled out a pair of sickles and slashes. More students charge her, but she slashes the students, tearing apart their Goku uniforms. These gardening tools must have been imbued with life fibers if they were able to tear apart the uniforms.

Most of the students had fallen or their uniforms were too damaged to serve them any use. All that was left was moleman and his giant piranha plant. The two stared at each other, glaring as the sun shone on them. A bird cawed before on the far side of the school, Ryuko smashed through a wall. She was covered in several small robots that pulled and yanked at her clothes.

"Get off of me!!"

That was the signal for the Philia and Yuguruma as they rushed each other. The plant lunged to chomp on the girl, but she leaped up to dodge. She landed on its head before she ran down its back. She slashes at its stalk, but the sickles couldn't handle the force before they broke.

"Don't forget about me!" the captain held a peashooter. He laughed as he fired at the girl in spurts. Philia growled before she leaped off the plant. The piranha plant lunged at her again, but she pulled out an axe and swung. It smacked the planet's head away but left her handle broken.

Peas then hit her, knocking her back as she hissed. They felt like golf balls smashing into her! She rolled to the side and ran, dodging gunfire as Sebastian Jr. recovered. It noticed the axe head in its jaw, and it growled in anger before slithering off. It shot vines at the woman who flipped and leaped over the shots, the vines digging into the cement. Oof. She did not want to get hit by that-

Philia spewed blood as one of the vines curled and stabbed into her side. She cried before Jr. threw her away. Her body rolled across the roof before she fell off. But she managed to grab onto a ledge with her shovel. She dangled off the ledge as Yuguruma cackled.

"Don't let go! Piranha plants prefer their food to be whole not mashed!" Sebastian lunged at the woman who let go to avoid, but the plant chomped down on her as well as part of the roof. It chewed its food, bits of rubble and rebar surely mangling the woman.

"Aha ha ha! I win! You lose! Hope you like being compost, because that's what you be when Sebastian Jr.'s done with you!" The boy looked up at his son before he noticed something was wrong. "Hey! Jr! What's wrong? She left a bad taste in your mouth?"

Sebastian growled and grumbled before a blade stabbed out of his mouth. It roared in pain, opening its mouth revealing Philia was still alive. She jerked her arms and sliced through the plant's top half. Sebastian roared again as Philia sliced off the top half of the plant's head before she jumped out.

Sporting a crimson scythe with life fibers writhing in it, Philia huffed as she glared down the moleman. The captain was staring at his plant in shock before she turned to the woman. He felt a shiver of trepidation as he realized what she held. Most of their tools were imbued with small amounts of Life Fibers as their plants, also imbued with Life Fibers, grew out of control. They had done the paperwork and followed rules, but the scythe Phil held had the most amount of Life Fibers in it. It was a perfect tool against the plants they grew.

"D-don't think just, just cause you got the s-scythe it means you've won!" he struggled to hold back his fear.

"Huh? What is so special about this scythe? Can it cut through your plants like butter?" Philia faced the boy, who tried to see a poker face. But even though he had shades, she could tell she was right. She grinned underneath her scarf. "Oh, then maybe I'll keep this then?"

"Grrr! Sebastian Jr! Get her!" he dumped fertilizer into his pot of soil before the piranha plant grew bigger. More vines, more thorns, two more heads, and a voracious appetite. The weight of the plant nearly topple Yuguruma, but he managed to hold his footing.

"Ya reap what ya sow!" Philia rushed the pant as several vines shot at her like arrows, but she sliced clean through them like they were nothing. Bulbs opened at the base as they shot out pikes of thorns, but the woman spun her weapon, deflecting them all. One of the heads lunged at her, and she leaped over and decapitated it.

"Come on! That's all ya got?!" she laughed before wincing. Whoops, she still had that hole in her side.

More vines shot the at girl, but they did nothing. She dodged and weaved, slicing and dicing with incredible expertise. Philia had used a lot of weapons in her life, knives, swords, guns, spears, bows, flails, you name it. She would master some, others just basic experience, but for some reason, whenever she used a scythe, it was like second nature to her.

A plant chomped down on her, but it was reduced to diced vegetables as she sliced through it. She slid along its stalk, cutting down thorns before leaping at the original head. Sebastian roared in defiance before lunging. A feral look of violence was in the girl's red and blue eyes as she met the plant. She wanted to stay out of conflicts, try to live a relatively normal life, but that was a lie. The truth was...

Philia sliced clean through Sebastian's head. His two halves fell apart as Philia landed. She was covered in strands of plant fiber, some green, some red, and she was still burning from the digestive fluids, but she stood victorious.

She loved fighting. It gave her a sense of thrill and adrenaline that made her feel powerful. Though she could get carried away sometimes.

Yuguruma kneeled in fear, shaking like a leaf as Philia approached him. He dared not look up, but when the scythe stomped next to his head he jerked up. And he wished he hadn't as Philia looked like an absolute monster. Covered in plant guts and acidic fluids, she had one of her eyes closed, leaving the red one to stare down at the tiny little boy. She looked like some sort of grim reaper with that scythe. She presented him a sheet of paper and he apprehensively grabbed it.

"Wait... you want to join the Gardening Club?" confusion struck him as he read the paper. All the necessary info was there, but why had this woman just destroyed his entire club and then want to join it? Was this some sort of power play?

"Well, yeah, I wanted to join, but ya asses decided to attack me." Philia sighed. Ah, teenagers.

"Well, why didn't you say so?!" the boy stood up. He was a bit taller than girl, but he was hunched over. "We could have gotten over this entire misunderstanding!"

"Excuse me?! I tried to talk, but ya were all 'Ah, no, poor Sebastian! Yer gonna pay with yer life, ya hear me?'"

"That's because you killed Sebastian!"

"HE TRIED TO EAT ME!!"

"THAT'S YOUR FAULT! HE'S A MAN EATING-" Yuguruma didn't get to finish as Philia Spartan kicked his ass off the roof. The boy screamed like a girl as he fell of the roof, his yells slowly fading before a dull boomf was heard. Philia sighed before she turned to the rest of the students who were all crowded together in fear. She slowly walked towards them and they started crying.

"Alright," she slammed down her scythe, "Who's in next in charge?"

The children all shuffled and moved before they tossed out a boy that looked exactly like moleman. Only exception was that he had a pink bandana over his head.

"Th-Th-That would be m-me, ma'am." the boy was on the verge of tears as were the club members.

"Right, so what would it take for me to join yer club?"

"U-um, you would need a teacher's signature of approval."

"Oh, well I do have my..." Phil pursed her lips as she realized moleman she kicked off had her application paper. She sighed, not that it'd matter because she never got Mikisugi's signature. She growled in frustration as she didn't really want to talk to the shady man, but she had no choice.

"Fine, I'll be back, and if you try to attack me again, then so help me!" She feinted a lung at the kids, and they all scrambled to run. She shook her head, was this worth it? The hole in her side told her yes as she dribbled blood. She looked at the scythe before turning to her classroom. "I'm taking this."

Total words, 7,252 excluding disclaimer and Author's Note.

Guess who's back? Back again? Taco's back. Back again!

THAAAAAAAAT'SSSSSS RIGHT BABY, IM BACK AND HERE TO STAY! Until I get sad and fall into a depression again. Anyway, how are my minions? Doing well? I hope so cause I'm back with the milk and cigarettes. Gonna start writing and finish what I started.

And to anyone who still waited for any chapters, I apologize. I always hated abandoned stories and now, I have become the very thing I swore to destroy. But I'm back with a hard on and it has a vengeance!